Best of “The Fly” 02/17-02/22

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Forget About 2013

“For the third year in a row, I am up huge (+15%) in the first two months of the year. Unlike the past when hubris controlled my compass, I endeavor to keep these gains by steadily moving up the market cap ladder, ignoring my inner Henry Fool–discarding him to the trash heap of society, melting his face off with a flame thrower.”

Smooth Sailing

“CCL is a broken company, not just a chart. They sell a luxury item that has been killing their customers or forcing them to defecate on themselves. I cannot think of a worse brand in America right now. Wait until the lawsuits hit and the crap swings around and hits them in the face.”

A Few Side Notes and Well Wishes

“May 10,000 bolts of lightening evaporate your well being into ashes and rapacious hurricane winds disperse them quickly–to steal away a proper burial for your family and loved ones.”

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

“My play is Japan, asset managers and home construction. Your play might be marijuana, solar and chinese burrito stocks–THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE A GOD DAMNED VAGABOND without a home or purpose in life”

The Apple Trump Card

“One thing for you to acknowledge is this market is at new highs, despite AAPL being down 25% from its highs. This would’ve been unthinkable last year. Since 2009, every single crisis set bears up for a massive short squeeze. I see no reason to believe the crisis in AAPL won’t resolve itself, trapping all of the people who are shorting it now, as well as derivative plays CY, CRUS and ZAGG.”

“THE FLY” HAS BEEN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING

“NEW YORK (AP) — Early this morning witnesses said a man, who is known as “The Fly” on internet blog iBankCoin, was struck by lightning–after cursing the stock gods for bestowing him with “reckless investments.” This all happened around 10:30 am  near The Four Seasons Hotel, where “The Fly” has been known to loiter.”

A Proper Execution

“If this is the first of many down days, at 140% leverage, I will be cut to ribbons within days. I could sell off some up positions, bulk up on my short CCL and mitigate risk. Or, I can buy this dip, like a true master of the suicide arts, and play handball with a grenade in my backyard.”

This Afternoon I Was Corrected

“It’s the stupidest lesson  never learned. Each and every time I float about the office in ancient Roman costume, burning sage in fire pits, slapping people with my leather sandals, I get corrected. I get corrected when I focus more on spending my money than earning it.

I get corrected when I push the limits of reason to the extreme, begging for something bad to happen, daring it to happen.”

“Like I said yesterday, only the Fed can bring the market down, and that’s exactly what happened today. Some of the beardless members at the Fed are calling into question QE-infiitum. They don’t have the balls or the facial hair to challenge Mr. Bernanke and shall be vanquished, dispatched, in short order.”

Rely On Your Government

“Rely on your government to meddle in your lives, wrecking your investment prospects. Compromises will not be made, because we are led by a pack of wolves whose ideologies are financed by people who want to destroy America, rather than see it thrive for another 237 years.”

No Bottom in Sight

“We’re in free-fall mode, as high beta/return stocks get beat down like a homeless man taking a piss on a police car.”

YOU CANNOT STOP THE COCAINE TRAIN

“The losses are painful and we all want to kill ourselves now. I get it.

But don’t do it! Before you know it, great whores will suckle from your anatomy and the stock market will soar to new heights, giving license to move around freely–spending money like a addicted heroin fiend in an afghan poppy field.”

Partaking in Parlour Tricks into the Bell

“I added to several positions today, in large testicle’d manner, ignoring the minimum basics of risk management.  It says “when markets start to drop, take a step back pal, chill out, and eat a sandwich. If you even think about buying stocks, I’m gonna call the SEC on you.”

The Official 2013 Review of Select Blogs from Around the Web-o-Sphere

“Yahoo Finance: I love Marissa Mayer and would leave my wife and 3 kids to make sex to her, if I was some sort of base, primal, creature– whose sole focus was to procreate and do drugs. Grade: A”

Kill the Leprechaun

“I thought we’d board the cocaine train to hedonism this morning, celebrating all day long–partaking in a great many frivolities. Instead, it looks like cowards are selling into strength, scared to pieces over sequestration. This is all very disconcerting, as the market needs to truck higher to support the revenue base of the United Steaks of America.”

FLASHBACK of a FLASHBACK: The Fellatio Bottom Revisited

CHOO, CHOO!

“On an unbelievable side note, my good friend, “The Devil”, saw Ben “the beard” Bernanke at an airport recently and had a chance to introduce himself and have a small chat. The Devil asked Ben about gold and he retorted “there is no inflation and there will be no inflation.” Now the story will start to sound slightly unbelievable. He said Bernanke furthered by saying “I’m going to keep my foot on the pedal.”

Best of “The Fly” 02/11-02/15

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MIKE PIAZZA IS A COWARD

“The Japanese economic minister all but said the government is manipulating stocks and would like to see the NIKKEI at 13,000 within a few weeks. Why, that’s only a 17% lift from here, in the world’s 3rd largest economy. “

“What the hell is going on here? Have people lost their minds, all at once?”

Wall Street is Minting Coin Again

“Don’t be that guy, the homosexual at the cocked-tail party who proclaims doom and gloom is upon us. Even if it were true, no one wants to hear it. Successful people are attracted to positivity. It’s too hard to get the short trade right for the average millionaire, whose sole interest is to outperform the S&P. If that’s your stated goal, look no further than the asset managers”

Guaranteed to Win

“90% of the “hard part” is showing up and not doing anything stupid. I am avoiding outlier stocks like the god-damned black plague. I want nothing to do with a stupid stock that can’t go up in the midst of this lunacy. If your portfolio was down today, shoot yourselves in the freakin’ head.”

ENTER KURODA!

“The fact of the matter is, as the Chinese build phantom cities to keep their pathetically poor vagrant farmer class content and away from the pitched fork, the Japanese are living a life of luxury, with unemployment in Japan at its lowest level since 1999.”

Housing is About to Take Another Leg Up

“There is no better way to play the housing recovery than wall board. Warren Buffett knows it and will likely buy the remainder of USG, keeping its future profits to himself.

Why don’t you?

Get your heads out from the pickle jars and buy a house.”

IT’S TIME TO SHUT YOUR BIG, FAT, STUPID, FACES

“A pathetic man once said “officer, some man in a black cloak just walked in here, with a giant bowling ball, and threw it at all of us, knocking us into the back of the lane.””

Intent on Milking the Stupid Farmers

“We are now in the planting season, small men reading the internets. Last year farmers received rail spikes through their stupid faces, thanks to mother nature bestowing dust bowls upon their property and livelihood.

To be clear, nitrogen and potash are going to be needed in great quantity this year, to stave off catastrophe. Yields need to be better this year, else prices are going up again. The Chicken Gods and King Obama will not like that.”

AVOIDING THE PANIC

“Panic is our #1 enemy. It is the very worst characteristic of man. It makes us do things we would never do under normal circumstances. When panic sets in, our brains turn off and we transform into cavemen, cannibals even, fighting for survival like stark raving mad lunatics. Pray tell me, if the majority of man believes in God and the afterlife, why do they become so desperate to save their lives?”

The Amazing Market

“The point that I am trying to make is– don’t limit your horizon to the view from your window. Sure, the volume stinks and not every sector is ripping. But we’re steadily climbing higher, while volatility and bonds get crushed. This is the proverbial sweet spot of investing.

From refiners to airlines, there have been countless winners. Find the next winner, or at least try your hardest. I know I will.”

The Gentleman’s Guide to a Happy Valentine’s Day

“Remember, once you discard or divorce your present valentine, you can always execute a “claw-back” and resell the diamonds for at or near cost.”

Love is in the Air

“Old man Buffett is buying ketchup. He’s a cynical type. Perhaps the government will begin inserting drugs in our ketchup, in order to maintain a docile mob. Either way, I think it’s fair to say mergers and acquisitions are back.”

SHORT CARNIVAL CRUISE TO ZERO

“If I was on that ship (“The Fly” doesn’t travel on cruise ships, but privately owned aircraft carriers), I’d sue CCL until every single member of their counsel died. I’d sue them for the rest of my life, for an unprecedented amount of money. With the wins, I’d take the money and short more CCL–until it hit $00.00.”

IT’S OFFICIAL: CARL ICAHN IS GOING TO DESTROY BILL ACKMAN

“What’s more dangerous than a 76 year old man with $15 billion in the market, hell bent on putting you out of business? Let’s face it, Carl isn’t going to quit. He just made $600 million saving NFLX; now he’s going to place Bill “Mars Attacks” Ackman inside of a “Brazen Bull” to see him cook–ever so slowly.”

ANNOUNCEMENT: “The Fly” is Making a Big Bet

“With today’s buys, I am now at a record 140% long, meaning I am heavily levered to the upside. I am putting my money where my mouth is, foot firmly pressed down on a gas pedal inside of car made from dynamite sticks–headed for the sun.  I intend to maintain a constant and belligerent state of warfare against all sellers, good and bad, until tax day.”

Best of “The Fly” 2/4-2/8

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An Update on The iBankCoin Games

“At the outset of joining the ranks, I sent the interim bloggers a web page to track their blog’s traffic in real time. Well, according to the web page, assembled by BEAS himself, all bloggers are upholding the minimum 3% threshold. On most days, some of them even capture 4 or 5%!”

“According to Google Analytics, none of them are even close to 3%, thereby and effectively leaving them exposed to the very dangers they’ve been trying to avoid since 12/15/12: they shall be fired.”

THE FED MUST ACT NOW!!!

“BEN MUST ACT NOW and bail out the market. We aren’t supposed to endure a downward spiraling tape, are we? The nerve of these politicians, as they dine on caviar and the brains of goats, to expect us, the people, to suffer unimaginable horrors at the hands of short sellers.”

All There is Left is Bitter Agony and Suffering Now

“With whatever I have left, I intend to buy some property in Romania and start a small “farming village,” eventually taking over the central government and appointing myself “King”, monarch of the world, before marching on neighboring states–demanding they pay tribute.”

America Is High Off Marijuana Stocks

“As the market struggles to hold value, degenerates dressed in clothes made from hemp are bidding up the shares of bastard companies, whose sole goal is to put a pipe filled with marijuana into the hands of your sons and daughters.”

Raising Cash Again

“I will be looking to reinvest the money when the coast is clear. Consider me to be a savage animal, lurking in the tall grass, waiting for an injured zebra to devour. There are so many delectable animals to eat.  However, I prefer the ones who are weak and out of favor.”

Get Housing on the Dip

“Keep it simple.

I am heeding my own advice and keeping it very simple. I do not need to scour the markets, looking for ideas. I know exactly what I want to buy and at what prices. It’s unfortunate to be sidetracked by stupid stocks like NIHD–but that’s what happens when you stray off the reservation.

Chief Fly is staying on the reservation and intends to scalp any and all white men who step on my ancient grounds, trying to take what is rightfully mine.”

Finding a Sharp Edge to Jump From

“Out of the thousands of stocks traded, don’t you think it would be useful to know what stocks correlate best to a market bounce and precisely what sectors and stocks outperform most?

This is an obsession of mine. I don’t always play the stocks I gawk at, even though I probably should since the stocks I talk about most (APKT) tend to outperform the one’s I actually own.”

The Art of Winning While Losing

“A short while ago, I purchased NIHD, based upon the concept that the lowest form of sub-human would flock–MIND YOU– to their local Brasilian nextel dealership to buy a phone, now that Apple has been beaten dead. This turned out to be one of my stupidest ideas ever, as the stock wallowed–MIND YOU–down into the oblivion of misery.”

It’s a Roaring Bull Market

“The Federal Reserve has answered our prayers and given the market the shot of adrenaline it needed. We all needed it, after yesterday’s dreadful market crash.”

Shut Them Down

“For the first time in ages, I am pleased with my Federal government, taking action against the perverts at S&P. First of all, they shouldn’t have downgraded the United Steaks. That’ll learn them. And secondly, they fueled the housing bubble with fraudulent ratings because their customers wanted AAA.”

ONWARD!

“Hot money bought the stocks for a pop and when they didn’t get it, they sold. The core fundamentals are still there, which is why USG is my second largest position. Keep in mind, before you know it, the summer months will be here and the warm, balmy winds of black Africa will produce hurricanes of revenge and scornful death, delivered by way of Poseidon to kill the descendents of slave traders– inside of their lavish trailered homes.”

Rumored New Energy Secretary, Ernest Moniz, is a Nuclear Bull

“If solar stocks can triple in price, I see no reason why uranium, nu-ku-lar, can’t have a brainless run on some positive sentiment. Hell, the coal country rejoiced over Romney poll data for a solid 6 months.”

MAN THE CATAPULTS

“We’re gonna raid the bears’ citadel tomorrow and pillage them, cut their heads off and make soup from their brains. It’s horror show trading for short sellers, no way out of the world’s dumbest companies in existence. They had the ball rolling downhill early, only to have their balls slices off late in the trading day.”

It’s Time to Go Deep Southern Fried Chicken Smart

“Such genius, such japery of the human intellect, can and will be found– exclusively– in the deepest, most southern, part of the interwebs: Chartpin.”

The Snow Storm is Coming

“I know the globally warmed winter has spoiled you with balmy weather. But tonight you are going to be reintroduced to a blast from the past, Old Man Winter. He lives in Boston, apparently, and he’s going to bury you alive.

By this time tomorrow, your towns will look like Pompeii. Instead of hot lava pouring down on your towns, incinerating everything in it, the exact opposite will occur.

EVERYBODY IS GOING TO FREEZE TO DEATH BY WAY OF THE ICICLE.”

Focused on Asset Managers

“We all gallivant (some gallivant more than others) around town, looking for the next AAPL. But while we juggle pinless hand grenades, the asset managers steadily progress higher. In my opinion, this is a no-brainer, low risk trade, in a bull market. You might be a horrendous stock broker; but there are highly successful people in the field of asset management.

Feel free to suck from their tits (female) and ingest their milk (no cow).”

Best of “The Fly”: 1/26-2/1

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The Best of iBankCoin This Week: 1/20/13-1/26/13

IT’S TIME TO BUY MORE NOW

“Make believe you’re all crack addicts, or maybe even heroin, and buying stocks is the only way to stop the shakes. Call your brokers up, frantically, asking him to “get you the good stuff now” because “you got to have it.” If he questions your sanity, tell him “the frisson of excitement has given you the foresight to take what is rightfully yours.” Then proceed to burp loudly and curse him out as if he were a street prostitute trying to take your money without giving you a proper blow job (absolutely no homosexual).”

The Ultimate Anti-$AAPL

“You want olde school? I am going to give it to you.

Over the past month we’ve all seen shares of NOK and RIMM soar, as AAPL dropped like a stone. The stock exchange, in its infinite wisdom, has declared the Apple fad to be over, in exchange for crappy cellular phone devices–built by sub-standard engineers.”

In Search of Intelligent Life

“There is nothing amusing about being a log headed moron, might I add. You should take offense to your own ignorance and take corrective measures at once.”

Three Refinery Stocks That Have Been Overlooked

“Domestic oil production is on the rise. Global oil supplies are at risk and the EPA will not permit the pipelines needed to properly transport the oil to ever be built. So the end result is pricing power like we’ve never seen before for the refiners, literally stealing money right from your purse.”

DON’T MISS THE HOUSING TRADE!

“It’s simply a matter of mathematics, as America’s population increases, the need for more homes increases. We should build over 1 million homes in 2013, up from 750k in 2012. However, to get to a normalized market, we need to get up to 1.5 million.”

Ignore the Horrendous GDP Numbers

“Plus, markets don’t go up and down based upon domestic macro-trends anymore. If you’re looking at domestic GDP and wondering why AMZN is at $300 or how FLS can be so frigging expensive, look outside of your borderless country and realize there are Africans out there who desire one click shopping and sewer pipes.”

RUSH LIMBAUGH: AMAZON IS A LIBERAL PLOT!

“So I was in my car, flipping through the AM channels, as most people with intelligence quotients north of 125 do, and I heard Rush Limbaugh offering some rather unsavory financial advice. Naturally, “he went in” on the negative GDP numbers, declaring the economy to be in a tailspin, down more than 3% since September. But then he switched gears from incompetent financial analyst to bizarro–a personal favourite of mine.”

Not Impressed By Today’s Losses

“Nevertheless, I’d be lying to you if I claimed to be scared. Nothing scares me, not even all of my stocks going to zero in unison.”

ALERT: iBankCoin’s Dress Code Has Changed

MANDATORY READING FOR ALL CITIZENS

Facing New Realities

“Last quarter was dreadful and was reflected in the number of earnings short falls, as well as negative GDP. Look at the bright side: the markets are near new highs, even though the economy contracted last quarter. Should we grow by 1.5% this quarter, the market should rip higher, based upon some pretty decent quarter over quarter growth.”

In Search For a Certain Look

“I realize a great many of you chart-chomping imbeciles scour the market for a certain look. One of the preferred looks is a breakout, following a long consolidation. While you rifle through thousands of charts, by hand, Senor Tropicana presses a button and gets results.”

Hand Grenade Friday

“In 2013, I am all about wallboard and kitchen cabinetry. There are homes to be built and old ones to be renewed. When summer hits, hurricanes will splish and splash and knock your stupid homes down. Shortly thereafter, you will require some wallboard, in which case transferring your FEMA checks to yours truly–a shareholder of USG.”

Up Until April 15th

“However, the laws of mathematics are on my side, as I am destined, by right, to enjoy mountainous market gains. You don’t have to bet with me, just don’t bet against me. You’ll get your arms blown off–torso ripped to shreds, dinosaur style.”

Best of “The Fly”: 1/20 – 1/25

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The Important Matter of Wood Leads

The Important Matter of the Series 7 Examination

This is Not a Success Story

““The Fly” intends to work smart much more than hard, as it is his birth right to enjoy the superfluities of excess before the decrepit age of 50. While most of you punch clocks and shovel manure into fields of tomatoes, Le Fly is sipping on a small glass of sherry, listening to his favorite classical pieces.”

A Better Way to Play Japan

“When asset managers are doing well, investors flock to them, helping to balloon their assets under management, which translates into a stronger bottom line.

Enter Wisdom Tree.

Wisdom Tree has been an innovator in managed ETFs. Their AUM are at record highs of $20 billion, thanks in large part of DXJ–which now has over $2 billion committed to it by investors. A staggering $576 million of inflows was reported the week ending 1/17, thanks to the popularity of the long Japan/short Yen thesis.”

By Law: We Cannot Go Lower

“Keep in mind, we are always subject to the occasional drift and individual names are game to be had and dismembered. But if you put your beastly greed aside and bought only mega-cap stocks, you might find your relationship with time and money to be much more pleasurable. Dare I say, the market will continue to go higher until it cannot go anymore.”

The Light Shall Set You $CREE

“LED lighting is the future for any city looking to upgrade to a better, cleaner, more sustainable technology and CREE is the dominating company in the space. The company has had hiccups due to Chinese phantom city delays. But perhaps they’ve turned the corner for good, following such a superb quarter.”

LET THE LANDMINE DETONATIONS COMMENCE

“Let this be a final warning to you chicken jerkers out there. The market has run up large and earnings are bound to disrupt the whimsical order of things. If I were you, I’d avoid any name that missed earnings last quarter or who could be viewed as “exposed” to economic downturn in the northeast, due to Hurricane Sandy. You might also want to avoid being long basic material names that depend on the chinese. As you know, they are oddball creatures, who are as predictable as a glass filled with glyceryl trinitrate.”

 Best January Since 1997

“Three out of four times the market went up in February. 2001 was different, since  retards ruled the roost and the market was getting gaveled on a daily basis. Plus our government was secretly plotting to knock down the World Trade Center and plant the seeds to destroy the entirety of modern finance.”

It’s a Blackberry, Nokia, Netflix Type of World

“There’s only so many markets Apple could flood with their FOXCONN manufactured wares before saturation took a toll. For decades, Apple positioned itself as an outsider, a rebel looking to “deflower” the establishment. But since its leader died, the company, via unmatched, historical success, has morphed from being the guy protesting “the man” to the man himself, billy club and all.”

I Found Your Bear Market

“When gold was on its initial way up, the miners shot higher based upon expectations that the miners would be minting coin. Truth is, the miners are burdened with high costs and operated by inefficient, lazy criminals– posing as corporate executives. They never quite made all of the money they were supposed to make, did they? I do not intend to back up any of my statements with proof.”

The Transportation Index Leads the Way

“Please stop with the ever so coy Tranny/Transvestite references. It’s getting a bit old.”

Whistling Past Apple

“Embrace the new bull market, froth with excess and certitude. Something really big is about to happen. A new gilded era is upon us. I hope you’re masculine enough to man the front lines. Perhaps, if you’re not feeling up to it, you can ask your wife or girlfriend to man it for you?”

Carl “Give Me Three Seats on Your Stupid Board” Icahn is Going to Destroy Ackman

“One of many reasons why Icahn wants to rip Ackman’s head off.

He is a contorted pervert.”

The Gilded Era Has Returned

“Dare I say, it’s folly to disclose a short position to the world, unless you’re planning to cover your short right away. I don’t think it’s tactful or gentlemanly to hold these press conferences, highlighting reasons why XYZ is going to zero. These short sellers have it coming to them, AND MORE.”

LEVERED UP, INTO THE BELL

“I am swimming in a sea of green. I emerge (you come, I emerge) from the water looking like a sea monster from the lagoon, strewn with seaweed and Heineken beer bottles. I am making so much money right now, my face is numb and my right hand is slapping people in the face, all on its own.”

Best of “The Fly”

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The Biggest Story Never Told

“God bless the souls of Tim Knight and Zerohedge. I have no idea how they can remain on the interwebs after being treated so brambly by the markets.”

““The Fly” is immune to such occurrences, since he would be in outerspace, enjoying the view, while firing his Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) at the indigenous folks in Africa. There is nothing redeeming, whatsoever, about that God forsaken continent.”

Japan Has Gone ‘Full Samurai’

“Some of the internets are worried about the downward spiral in the Yen, exclaiming “OMG, it’s sooo gonna stop going down so fast, lol, LMAO, SMH.” Ignore these people are being retarded, incapable of deciphering the difference between a poached egg from one that is soft boiled.”

Off to a Good Start, Setting Reasonable Goals for 2013

“Gone are the days when I’d take an imperious stance against the natural order of the market. It has ruined scores of men throughout time and will continue to do so, as long as expectations remain great, unreasonable, and out of reach.”

It’s Smooth Sailing Until April

“Even though the GOP wants to destroy the credit of the United Steaks, they still love the country in the same manner that an African Black Eagle loves its discarded young (if you don’t know, you don’t know).”

Stocks to Avoid

“In summary, if you’re not in a stock for its fundamentals, you have no business owning it through earnings. Sell it and go buy yourself a week’s worth of bath salts, so you can sniff it all up and go on a zombie face eating binge.”

Citizens: Hand in Your Guns

“God bless the Lord!

Do not worry about burglars sneaking into your home for a late night rape, for the policemen of this country will still be armed. If you live in NYC, you are fully aware of the police presence, as they stroll about, gallantly, in their uniforms armed for war. There’s hardly any crime in NYC and most who receive acts of barbarity had it coming, in one way or another. Truth be told, may Jesus strike you with his cannon.

The authors of the constitution, small chaps, only wanted its citizens to carry muskets and explode bullets in their faces during backfires. Our founding fathers, or might I say “great, great, great grandfathers”, never intended to put the sword in the hands of its citizens to serve as a militia against a tyrannical government. Had they known about first shooter video games and violent cinema, they would have banned muskets the second someone used one on another human being!”

PERSHING SQUARE HAS ITS FRANKS AND BEANS CAUGHT IN A HERBALIFE ZIPPER

“If he covers HLF before it goes to zero, his credibility will be badly tarnished and will be viewed as “the boy who cried wolf” from now on. If it goes to zero, he will be lauded and praised as the best investor of all-time. CNBC will make a bronze statue out of his likeness and place it on top of the iconic Wall Street bull.”

Sipping From a Fountain of Sand

“I’m just thinking out loud here, as I have nothing to hide, never have, never will–sans my identity.

Perhaps VHC will be that win or maybe SNE or HMC? More often than not, it’s the spontaneous trade that ends up being my biggest winners.

Until then, “The Fly” sits here, clad in a shemagh, laughing hysterically, sipping sand from a champagne flute.”

Good Times Ahead

“It’s natural to fear for one’s position when it is knifing lower. Let me make this perfectly clear to all of you reading this here memo.

If a person has a sizable position in a stock, based upon his/her percentage of liquid assets, HE SHOULD BE WORRIED  when his position is going lower. When the stock is riding high, HE SHOULD FEEL GOOD and seek to involuntarily punch strangers in the nose for living. That’s normal human behavior.”

A Word or Two About Conspiracy Theories

“Pardon me for being so brazenly forthright–because I really want to use some fouled language right now– but the creator of that video is a jackass.”

Don’t Worry, Help is On the Way

“Most of us will wear bowed ties and take our families out for “steak dinners” this evening, in order to properly celebrate today’s market wins. A small minority of you will sit at home watching Youtube videos, swearing to the almighty himself that the entire town of Newtown is one giant fiction, created by Hollywood to strip Texans of their pistols.”

The Good Old Days Will Not Be Celebrated

^^All

REVENGE OF THE NERDS

“Eventually this nerd stuff ends and the cool kids throw them down flights of stairs, snatch their lunch money, and give them wedgies.”

America’s Only Hope: Housing

“You can play games with restaurant and retails stocks, trying to time the superfluities of the often fickle American housewife. But if you’re a man, the only way to play the US economy is through housing.

It was the root cause of all of the pain and suffering and will be the savior. The Fed is intent on inflating home prices. Nationally, home values surged by 5% in 2012. I am expecting more of the same, AND MORE, in 2013.

I’ve talked about this thesis trade for years–but it’s coming down the home stretch now. The profits are about to get serious, moving out from “dead cat bounce” to boom.”

Moving Away from Degeneracy

“This weekend, “The Fly” intends to drink, but nothing too excessive. I practice discretion and do not dwell in the cellars of degeneracy like the reading class on this site–gluttons feeding off genetically modified foodstuffs, grizzle, sweet coffee, and highly sugared energy sodas.”

Best of “The Fly” 02/17-02/22

1,771 views

Forget About 2013

“For the third year in a row, I am up huge (+15%) in the first two months of the year. Unlike the past when hubris controlled my compass, I endeavor to keep these gains by steadily moving up the market cap ladder, ignoring my inner Henry Fool–discarding him to the trash heap of society, melting his face off with a flame thrower.”

Smooth Sailing

“CCL is a broken company, not just a chart. They sell a luxury item that has been killing their customers or forcing them to defecate on themselves. I cannot think of a worse brand in America right now. Wait until the lawsuits hit and the crap swings around and hits them in the face.”

A Few Side Notes and Well Wishes

“May 10,000 bolts of lightening evaporate your well being into ashes and rapacious hurricane winds disperse them quickly–to steal away a proper burial for your family and loved ones.”

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

“My play is Japan, asset managers and home construction. Your play might be marijuana, solar and chinese burrito stocks–THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE A GOD DAMNED VAGABOND without a home or purpose in life”

The Apple Trump Card

“One thing for you to acknowledge is this market is at new highs, despite AAPL being down 25% from its highs. This would’ve been unthinkable last year. Since 2009, every single crisis set bears up for a massive short squeeze. I see no reason to believe the crisis in AAPL won’t resolve itself, trapping all of the people who are shorting it now, as well as derivative plays CY, CRUS and ZAGG.”

“THE FLY” HAS BEEN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING

“NEW YORK (AP) — Early this morning witnesses said a man, who is known as “The Fly” on internet blog iBankCoin, was struck by lightning–after cursing the stock gods for bestowing him with “reckless investments.” This all happened around 10:30 am  near The Four Seasons Hotel, where “The Fly” has been known to loiter.”

A Proper Execution

“If this is the first of many down days, at 140% leverage, I will be cut to ribbons within days. I could sell off some up positions, bulk up on my short CCL and mitigate risk. Or, I can buy this dip, like a true master of the suicide arts, and play handball with a grenade in my backyard.”

This Afternoon I Was Corrected

“It’s the stupidest lesson  never learned. Each and every time I float about the office in ancient Roman costume, burning sage in fire pits, slapping people with my leather sandals, I get corrected. I get corrected when I focus more on spending my money than earning it.

I get corrected when I push the limits of reason to the extreme, begging for something bad to happen, daring it to happen.”

“Like I said yesterday, only the Fed can bring the market down, and that’s exactly what happened today. Some of the beardless members at the Fed are calling into question QE-infiitum. They don’t have the balls or the facial hair to challenge Mr. Bernanke and shall be vanquished, dispatched, in short order.”

Rely On Your Government

“Rely on your government to meddle in your lives, wrecking your investment prospects. Compromises will not be made, because we are led by a pack of wolves whose ideologies are financed by people who want to destroy America, rather than see it thrive for another 237 years.”

No Bottom in Sight

“We’re in free-fall mode, as high beta/return stocks get beat down like a homeless man taking a piss on a police car.”

YOU CANNOT STOP THE COCAINE TRAIN

“The losses are painful and we all want to kill ourselves now. I get it.

But don’t do it! Before you know it, great whores will suckle from your anatomy and the stock market will soar to new heights, giving license to move around freely–spending money like a addicted heroin fiend in an afghan poppy field.”

Partaking in Parlour Tricks into the Bell

“I added to several positions today, in large testicle’d manner, ignoring the minimum basics of risk management.  It says “when markets start to drop, take a step back pal, chill out, and eat a sandwich. If you even think about buying stocks, I’m gonna call the SEC on you.”

The Official 2013 Review of Select Blogs from Around the Web-o-Sphere

“Yahoo Finance: I love Marissa Mayer and would leave my wife and 3 kids to make sex to her, if I was some sort of base, primal, creature– whose sole focus was to procreate and do drugs. Grade: A”

Kill the Leprechaun

“I thought we’d board the cocaine train to hedonism this morning, celebrating all day long–partaking in a great many frivolities. Instead, it looks like cowards are selling into strength, scared to pieces over sequestration. This is all very disconcerting, as the market needs to truck higher to support the revenue base of the United Steaks of America.”

FLASHBACK of a FLASHBACK: The Fellatio Bottom Revisited

CHOO, CHOO!

“On an unbelievable side note, my good friend, “The Devil”, saw Ben “the beard” Bernanke at an airport recently and had a chance to introduce himself and have a small chat. The Devil asked Ben about gold and he retorted “there is no inflation and there will be no inflation.” Now the story will start to sound slightly unbelievable. He said Bernanke furthered by saying “I’m going to keep my foot on the pedal.”

Best of “The Fly” 02/11-02/15

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MIKE PIAZZA IS A COWARD

“The Japanese economic minister all but said the government is manipulating stocks and would like to see the NIKKEI at 13,000 within a few weeks. Why, that’s only a 17% lift from here, in the world’s 3rd largest economy. “

“What the hell is going on here? Have people lost their minds, all at once?”

Wall Street is Minting Coin Again

“Don’t be that guy, the homosexual at the cocked-tail party who proclaims doom and gloom is upon us. Even if it were true, no one wants to hear it. Successful people are attracted to positivity. It’s too hard to get the short trade right for the average millionaire, whose sole interest is to outperform the S&P. If that’s your stated goal, look no further than the asset managers”

Guaranteed to Win

“90% of the “hard part” is showing up and not doing anything stupid. I am avoiding outlier stocks like the god-damned black plague. I want nothing to do with a stupid stock that can’t go up in the midst of this lunacy. If your portfolio was down today, shoot yourselves in the freakin’ head.”

ENTER KURODA!

“The fact of the matter is, as the Chinese build phantom cities to keep their pathetically poor vagrant farmer class content and away from the pitched fork, the Japanese are living a life of luxury, with unemployment in Japan at its lowest level since 1999.”

Housing is About to Take Another Leg Up

“There is no better way to play the housing recovery than wall board. Warren Buffett knows it and will likely buy the remainder of USG, keeping its future profits to himself.

Why don’t you?

Get your heads out from the pickle jars and buy a house.”

IT’S TIME TO SHUT YOUR BIG, FAT, STUPID, FACES

“A pathetic man once said “officer, some man in a black cloak just walked in here, with a giant bowling ball, and threw it at all of us, knocking us into the back of the lane.””

Intent on Milking the Stupid Farmers

“We are now in the planting season, small men reading the internets. Last year farmers received rail spikes through their stupid faces, thanks to mother nature bestowing dust bowls upon their property and livelihood.

To be clear, nitrogen and potash are going to be needed in great quantity this year, to stave off catastrophe. Yields need to be better this year, else prices are going up again. The Chicken Gods and King Obama will not like that.”

AVOIDING THE PANIC

“Panic is our #1 enemy. It is the very worst characteristic of man. It makes us do things we would never do under normal circumstances. When panic sets in, our brains turn off and we transform into cavemen, cannibals even, fighting for survival like stark raving mad lunatics. Pray tell me, if the majority of man believes in God and the afterlife, why do they become so desperate to save their lives?”

The Amazing Market

“The point that I am trying to make is– don’t limit your horizon to the view from your window. Sure, the volume stinks and not every sector is ripping. But we’re steadily climbing higher, while volatility and bonds get crushed. This is the proverbial sweet spot of investing.

From refiners to airlines, there have been countless winners. Find the next winner, or at least try your hardest. I know I will.”

The Gentleman’s Guide to a Happy Valentine’s Day

“Remember, once you discard or divorce your present valentine, you can always execute a “claw-back” and resell the diamonds for at or near cost.”

Love is in the Air

“Old man Buffett is buying ketchup. He’s a cynical type. Perhaps the government will begin inserting drugs in our ketchup, in order to maintain a docile mob. Either way, I think it’s fair to say mergers and acquisitions are back.”

SHORT CARNIVAL CRUISE TO ZERO

“If I was on that ship (“The Fly” doesn’t travel on cruise ships, but privately owned aircraft carriers), I’d sue CCL until every single member of their counsel died. I’d sue them for the rest of my life, for an unprecedented amount of money. With the wins, I’d take the money and short more CCL–until it hit $00.00.”

IT’S OFFICIAL: CARL ICAHN IS GOING TO DESTROY BILL ACKMAN

“What’s more dangerous than a 76 year old man with $15 billion in the market, hell bent on putting you out of business? Let’s face it, Carl isn’t going to quit. He just made $600 million saving NFLX; now he’s going to place Bill “Mars Attacks” Ackman inside of a “Brazen Bull” to see him cook–ever so slowly.”

ANNOUNCEMENT: “The Fly” is Making a Big Bet

“With today’s buys, I am now at a record 140% long, meaning I am heavily levered to the upside. I am putting my money where my mouth is, foot firmly pressed down on a gas pedal inside of car made from dynamite sticks–headed for the sun.  I intend to maintain a constant and belligerent state of warfare against all sellers, good and bad, until tax day.”

Best of “The Fly” 2/4-2/8

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An Update on The iBankCoin Games

“At the outset of joining the ranks, I sent the interim bloggers a web page to track their blog’s traffic in real time. Well, according to the web page, assembled by BEAS himself, all bloggers are upholding the minimum 3% threshold. On most days, some of them even capture 4 or 5%!”

“According to Google Analytics, none of them are even close to 3%, thereby and effectively leaving them exposed to the very dangers they’ve been trying to avoid since 12/15/12: they shall be fired.”

THE FED MUST ACT NOW!!!

“BEN MUST ACT NOW and bail out the market. We aren’t supposed to endure a downward spiraling tape, are we? The nerve of these politicians, as they dine on caviar and the brains of goats, to expect us, the people, to suffer unimaginable horrors at the hands of short sellers.”

All There is Left is Bitter Agony and Suffering Now

“With whatever I have left, I intend to buy some property in Romania and start a small “farming village,” eventually taking over the central government and appointing myself “King”, monarch of the world, before marching on neighboring states–demanding they pay tribute.”

America Is High Off Marijuana Stocks

“As the market struggles to hold value, degenerates dressed in clothes made from hemp are bidding up the shares of bastard companies, whose sole goal is to put a pipe filled with marijuana into the hands of your sons and daughters.”

Raising Cash Again

“I will be looking to reinvest the money when the coast is clear. Consider me to be a savage animal, lurking in the tall grass, waiting for an injured zebra to devour. There are so many delectable animals to eat.  However, I prefer the ones who are weak and out of favor.”

Get Housing on the Dip

“Keep it simple.

I am heeding my own advice and keeping it very simple. I do not need to scour the markets, looking for ideas. I know exactly what I want to buy and at what prices. It’s unfortunate to be sidetracked by stupid stocks like NIHD–but that’s what happens when you stray off the reservation.

Chief Fly is staying on the reservation and intends to scalp any and all white men who step on my ancient grounds, trying to take what is rightfully mine.”

Finding a Sharp Edge to Jump From

“Out of the thousands of stocks traded, don’t you think it would be useful to know what stocks correlate best to a market bounce and precisely what sectors and stocks outperform most?

This is an obsession of mine. I don’t always play the stocks I gawk at, even though I probably should since the stocks I talk about most (APKT) tend to outperform the one’s I actually own.”

The Art of Winning While Losing

“A short while ago, I purchased NIHD, based upon the concept that the lowest form of sub-human would flock–MIND YOU– to their local Brasilian nextel dealership to buy a phone, now that Apple has been beaten dead. This turned out to be one of my stupidest ideas ever, as the stock wallowed–MIND YOU–down into the oblivion of misery.”

It’s a Roaring Bull Market

“The Federal Reserve has answered our prayers and given the market the shot of adrenaline it needed. We all needed it, after yesterday’s dreadful market crash.”

Shut Them Down

“For the first time in ages, I am pleased with my Federal government, taking action against the perverts at S&P. First of all, they shouldn’t have downgraded the United Steaks. That’ll learn them. And secondly, they fueled the housing bubble with fraudulent ratings because their customers wanted AAA.”

ONWARD!

“Hot money bought the stocks for a pop and when they didn’t get it, they sold. The core fundamentals are still there, which is why USG is my second largest position. Keep in mind, before you know it, the summer months will be here and the warm, balmy winds of black Africa will produce hurricanes of revenge and scornful death, delivered by way of Poseidon to kill the descendents of slave traders– inside of their lavish trailered homes.”

Rumored New Energy Secretary, Ernest Moniz, is a Nuclear Bull

“If solar stocks can triple in price, I see no reason why uranium, nu-ku-lar, can’t have a brainless run on some positive sentiment. Hell, the coal country rejoiced over Romney poll data for a solid 6 months.”

MAN THE CATAPULTS

“We’re gonna raid the bears’ citadel tomorrow and pillage them, cut their heads off and make soup from their brains. It’s horror show trading for short sellers, no way out of the world’s dumbest companies in existence. They had the ball rolling downhill early, only to have their balls slices off late in the trading day.”

It’s Time to Go Deep Southern Fried Chicken Smart

“Such genius, such japery of the human intellect, can and will be found– exclusively– in the deepest, most southern, part of the interwebs: Chartpin.”

The Snow Storm is Coming

“I know the globally warmed winter has spoiled you with balmy weather. But tonight you are going to be reintroduced to a blast from the past, Old Man Winter. He lives in Boston, apparently, and he’s going to bury you alive.

By this time tomorrow, your towns will look like Pompeii. Instead of hot lava pouring down on your towns, incinerating everything in it, the exact opposite will occur.

EVERYBODY IS GOING TO FREEZE TO DEATH BY WAY OF THE ICICLE.”

Focused on Asset Managers

“We all gallivant (some gallivant more than others) around town, looking for the next AAPL. But while we juggle pinless hand grenades, the asset managers steadily progress higher. In my opinion, this is a no-brainer, low risk trade, in a bull market. You might be a horrendous stock broker; but there are highly successful people in the field of asset management.

Feel free to suck from their tits (female) and ingest their milk (no cow).”

Best of “The Fly”: 1/26-2/1

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The Best of iBankCoin This Week: 1/20/13-1/26/13

IT’S TIME TO BUY MORE NOW

“Make believe you’re all crack addicts, or maybe even heroin, and buying stocks is the only way to stop the shakes. Call your brokers up, frantically, asking him to “get you the good stuff now” because “you got to have it.” If he questions your sanity, tell him “the frisson of excitement has given you the foresight to take what is rightfully yours.” Then proceed to burp loudly and curse him out as if he were a street prostitute trying to take your money without giving you a proper blow job (absolutely no homosexual).”

The Ultimate Anti-$AAPL

“You want olde school? I am going to give it to you.

Over the past month we’ve all seen shares of NOK and RIMM soar, as AAPL dropped like a stone. The stock exchange, in its infinite wisdom, has declared the Apple fad to be over, in exchange for crappy cellular phone devices–built by sub-standard engineers.”

In Search of Intelligent Life

“There is nothing amusing about being a log headed moron, might I add. You should take offense to your own ignorance and take corrective measures at once.”

Three Refinery Stocks That Have Been Overlooked

“Domestic oil production is on the rise. Global oil supplies are at risk and the EPA will not permit the pipelines needed to properly transport the oil to ever be built. So the end result is pricing power like we’ve never seen before for the refiners, literally stealing money right from your purse.”

DON’T MISS THE HOUSING TRADE!

“It’s simply a matter of mathematics, as America’s population increases, the need for more homes increases. We should build over 1 million homes in 2013, up from 750k in 2012. However, to get to a normalized market, we need to get up to 1.5 million.”

Ignore the Horrendous GDP Numbers

“Plus, markets don’t go up and down based upon domestic macro-trends anymore. If you’re looking at domestic GDP and wondering why AMZN is at $300 or how FLS can be so frigging expensive, look outside of your borderless country and realize there are Africans out there who desire one click shopping and sewer pipes.”

RUSH LIMBAUGH: AMAZON IS A LIBERAL PLOT!

“So I was in my car, flipping through the AM channels, as most people with intelligence quotients north of 125 do, and I heard Rush Limbaugh offering some rather unsavory financial advice. Naturally, “he went in” on the negative GDP numbers, declaring the economy to be in a tailspin, down more than 3% since September. But then he switched gears from incompetent financial analyst to bizarro–a personal favourite of mine.”

Not Impressed By Today’s Losses

“Nevertheless, I’d be lying to you if I claimed to be scared. Nothing scares me, not even all of my stocks going to zero in unison.”

ALERT: iBankCoin’s Dress Code Has Changed

MANDATORY READING FOR ALL CITIZENS

Facing New Realities

“Last quarter was dreadful and was reflected in the number of earnings short falls, as well as negative GDP. Look at the bright side: the markets are near new highs, even though the economy contracted last quarter. Should we grow by 1.5% this quarter, the market should rip higher, based upon some pretty decent quarter over quarter growth.”

In Search For a Certain Look

“I realize a great many of you chart-chomping imbeciles scour the market for a certain look. One of the preferred looks is a breakout, following a long consolidation. While you rifle through thousands of charts, by hand, Senor Tropicana presses a button and gets results.”

Hand Grenade Friday

“In 2013, I am all about wallboard and kitchen cabinetry. There are homes to be built and old ones to be renewed. When summer hits, hurricanes will splish and splash and knock your stupid homes down. Shortly thereafter, you will require some wallboard, in which case transferring your FEMA checks to yours truly–a shareholder of USG.”

Up Until April 15th

“However, the laws of mathematics are on my side, as I am destined, by right, to enjoy mountainous market gains. You don’t have to bet with me, just don’t bet against me. You’ll get your arms blown off–torso ripped to shreds, dinosaur style.”

Best of “The Fly”: 1/20 – 1/25

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The Important Matter of Wood Leads

The Important Matter of the Series 7 Examination

This is Not a Success Story

““The Fly” intends to work smart much more than hard, as it is his birth right to enjoy the superfluities of excess before the decrepit age of 50. While most of you punch clocks and shovel manure into fields of tomatoes, Le Fly is sipping on a small glass of sherry, listening to his favorite classical pieces.”

A Better Way to Play Japan

“When asset managers are doing well, investors flock to them, helping to balloon their assets under management, which translates into a stronger bottom line.

Enter Wisdom Tree.

Wisdom Tree has been an innovator in managed ETFs. Their AUM are at record highs of $20 billion, thanks in large part of DXJ–which now has over $2 billion committed to it by investors. A staggering $576 million of inflows was reported the week ending 1/17, thanks to the popularity of the long Japan/short Yen thesis.”

By Law: We Cannot Go Lower

“Keep in mind, we are always subject to the occasional drift and individual names are game to be had and dismembered. But if you put your beastly greed aside and bought only mega-cap stocks, you might find your relationship with time and money to be much more pleasurable. Dare I say, the market will continue to go higher until it cannot go anymore.”

The Light Shall Set You $CREE

“LED lighting is the future for any city looking to upgrade to a better, cleaner, more sustainable technology and CREE is the dominating company in the space. The company has had hiccups due to Chinese phantom city delays. But perhaps they’ve turned the corner for good, following such a superb quarter.”

LET THE LANDMINE DETONATIONS COMMENCE

“Let this be a final warning to you chicken jerkers out there. The market has run up large and earnings are bound to disrupt the whimsical order of things. If I were you, I’d avoid any name that missed earnings last quarter or who could be viewed as “exposed” to economic downturn in the northeast, due to Hurricane Sandy. You might also want to avoid being long basic material names that depend on the chinese. As you know, they are oddball creatures, who are as predictable as a glass filled with glyceryl trinitrate.”

 Best January Since 1997

“Three out of four times the market went up in February. 2001 was different, since  retards ruled the roost and the market was getting gaveled on a daily basis. Plus our government was secretly plotting to knock down the World Trade Center and plant the seeds to destroy the entirety of modern finance.”

It’s a Blackberry, Nokia, Netflix Type of World

“There’s only so many markets Apple could flood with their FOXCONN manufactured wares before saturation took a toll. For decades, Apple positioned itself as an outsider, a rebel looking to “deflower” the establishment. But since its leader died, the company, via unmatched, historical success, has morphed from being the guy protesting “the man” to the man himself, billy club and all.”

I Found Your Bear Market

“When gold was on its initial way up, the miners shot higher based upon expectations that the miners would be minting coin. Truth is, the miners are burdened with high costs and operated by inefficient, lazy criminals– posing as corporate executives. They never quite made all of the money they were supposed to make, did they? I do not intend to back up any of my statements with proof.”

The Transportation Index Leads the Way

“Please stop with the ever so coy Tranny/Transvestite references. It’s getting a bit old.”

Whistling Past Apple

“Embrace the new bull market, froth with excess and certitude. Something really big is about to happen. A new gilded era is upon us. I hope you’re masculine enough to man the front lines. Perhaps, if you’re not feeling up to it, you can ask your wife or girlfriend to man it for you?”

Carl “Give Me Three Seats on Your Stupid Board” Icahn is Going to Destroy Ackman

“One of many reasons why Icahn wants to rip Ackman’s head off.

He is a contorted pervert.”

The Gilded Era Has Returned

“Dare I say, it’s folly to disclose a short position to the world, unless you’re planning to cover your short right away. I don’t think it’s tactful or gentlemanly to hold these press conferences, highlighting reasons why XYZ is going to zero. These short sellers have it coming to them, AND MORE.”

LEVERED UP, INTO THE BELL

“I am swimming in a sea of green. I emerge (you come, I emerge) from the water looking like a sea monster from the lagoon, strewn with seaweed and Heineken beer bottles. I am making so much money right now, my face is numb and my right hand is slapping people in the face, all on its own.”

Best of “The Fly”

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The Biggest Story Never Told

“God bless the souls of Tim Knight and Zerohedge. I have no idea how they can remain on the interwebs after being treated so brambly by the markets.”

““The Fly” is immune to such occurrences, since he would be in outerspace, enjoying the view, while firing his Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) at the indigenous folks in Africa. There is nothing redeeming, whatsoever, about that God forsaken continent.”

Japan Has Gone ‘Full Samurai’

“Some of the internets are worried about the downward spiral in the Yen, exclaiming “OMG, it’s sooo gonna stop going down so fast, lol, LMAO, SMH.” Ignore these people are being retarded, incapable of deciphering the difference between a poached egg from one that is soft boiled.”

Off to a Good Start, Setting Reasonable Goals for 2013

“Gone are the days when I’d take an imperious stance against the natural order of the market. It has ruined scores of men throughout time and will continue to do so, as long as expectations remain great, unreasonable, and out of reach.”

It’s Smooth Sailing Until April

“Even though the GOP wants to destroy the credit of the United Steaks, they still love the country in the same manner that an African Black Eagle loves its discarded young (if you don’t know, you don’t know).”

Stocks to Avoid

“In summary, if you’re not in a stock for its fundamentals, you have no business owning it through earnings. Sell it and go buy yourself a week’s worth of bath salts, so you can sniff it all up and go on a zombie face eating binge.”

Citizens: Hand in Your Guns

“God bless the Lord!

Do not worry about burglars sneaking into your home for a late night rape, for the policemen of this country will still be armed. If you live in NYC, you are fully aware of the police presence, as they stroll about, gallantly, in their uniforms armed for war. There’s hardly any crime in NYC and most who receive acts of barbarity had it coming, in one way or another. Truth be told, may Jesus strike you with his cannon.

The authors of the constitution, small chaps, only wanted its citizens to carry muskets and explode bullets in their faces during backfires. Our founding fathers, or might I say “great, great, great grandfathers”, never intended to put the sword in the hands of its citizens to serve as a militia against a tyrannical government. Had they known about first shooter video games and violent cinema, they would have banned muskets the second someone used one on another human being!”

PERSHING SQUARE HAS ITS FRANKS AND BEANS CAUGHT IN A HERBALIFE ZIPPER

“If he covers HLF before it goes to zero, his credibility will be badly tarnished and will be viewed as “the boy who cried wolf” from now on. If it goes to zero, he will be lauded and praised as the best investor of all-time. CNBC will make a bronze statue out of his likeness and place it on top of the iconic Wall Street bull.”

Sipping From a Fountain of Sand

“I’m just thinking out loud here, as I have nothing to hide, never have, never will–sans my identity.

Perhaps VHC will be that win or maybe SNE or HMC? More often than not, it’s the spontaneous trade that ends up being my biggest winners.

Until then, “The Fly” sits here, clad in a shemagh, laughing hysterically, sipping sand from a champagne flute.”

Good Times Ahead

“It’s natural to fear for one’s position when it is knifing lower. Let me make this perfectly clear to all of you reading this here memo.

If a person has a sizable position in a stock, based upon his/her percentage of liquid assets, HE SHOULD BE WORRIED  when his position is going lower. When the stock is riding high, HE SHOULD FEEL GOOD and seek to involuntarily punch strangers in the nose for living. That’s normal human behavior.”

A Word or Two About Conspiracy Theories

“Pardon me for being so brazenly forthright–because I really want to use some fouled language right now– but the creator of that video is a jackass.”

Don’t Worry, Help is On the Way

“Most of us will wear bowed ties and take our families out for “steak dinners” this evening, in order to properly celebrate today’s market wins. A small minority of you will sit at home watching Youtube videos, swearing to the almighty himself that the entire town of Newtown is one giant fiction, created by Hollywood to strip Texans of their pistols.”

The Good Old Days Will Not Be Celebrated

^^All

REVENGE OF THE NERDS

“Eventually this nerd stuff ends and the cool kids throw them down flights of stairs, snatch their lunch money, and give them wedgies.”

America’s Only Hope: Housing

“You can play games with restaurant and retails stocks, trying to time the superfluities of the often fickle American housewife. But if you’re a man, the only way to play the US economy is through housing.

It was the root cause of all of the pain and suffering and will be the savior. The Fed is intent on inflating home prices. Nationally, home values surged by 5% in 2012. I am expecting more of the same, AND MORE, in 2013.

I’ve talked about this thesis trade for years–but it’s coming down the home stretch now. The profits are about to get serious, moving out from “dead cat bounce” to boom.”

Moving Away from Degeneracy

“This weekend, “The Fly” intends to drink, but nothing too excessive. I practice discretion and do not dwell in the cellars of degeneracy like the reading class on this site–gluttons feeding off genetically modified foodstuffs, grizzle, sweet coffee, and highly sugared energy sodas.”

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