The Snow Storm is Coming

I know the globally warmed winter has spoiled you with balmy weather. But tonight you are going to be reintroduced to a blast from the past, Old Man Winter. He lives in Boston, apparently, and he’s going to bury you alive.

By this time tomorrow, your towns will look like Pompeii. Instead of hot lava pouring down on your towns, incinerating everything in it, the exact opposite will occur.

EVERYBODY IS GOING TO FREEZE TO DEATH BY WAY OF THE ICICLE.

Grocery stores (SWY) will soon sport bare cupboards, thanks to the elimination of the North East highway system (GVA)–shut down, enshrouded by snow. Criminally insane (CXW) people will roam the streets in search of milk (DF), eggs (CALM) and bread (FLO). You will be forced to beat them about the head and chest to keep them out of your home, or perhaps shoot them in their heads (SWHC)– as the fight for survival hits a fevered pitch.

Do yourselves a favour and travel (Pii) to your local WFM or TFM to stockpile up on at least 6 months worth of canned goods (BGS), preferably organic (HAIN). Buy lots of rock salt (CMP) and plenty of shovels (LOW). While you’re at it, buy a few generators (GNRC), along with at least 10 containers (Justrite, privately held) of gasoline (WNR).

Brace yourselves, alongside a black mug filled with the blackest coffee (GMCR)– and some snacks (LNCE). Watch a few comedic films (NFLX) and spend some quality time with your loved ones (CHD, FHCO)– for your days on this earth are quickly drawing to an end (CSV).

26 Responses to “The Snow Storm is Coming”

  1. Just poetic

  2. Never mind that there is an asteroid coming our way!

  3. LOL @ “about the head and chest”

  4. Buy uranium and store it in your basement.

  5. Nothing’s going to top that today. May as well call it a day.

  6. Well done…the best part of NFLX is that under “Just In” I am sure to find Swiss Family Robinson

  7. I don’t know about that.
    I just looked out the window, saw a clear blue sky, and the Weather Channel says its 65 going to about 75.

  8. Fidel Cash Grow

    People here in the Boston area are absolutely freaking out. You need riot gear to go to the grocery store. The first few flakes are falling as we speak and I agree with the Fly. Death is a certainty in the next 24 hours.

  9. This is good :)

  10. Will Doug Kass be right……………

  11. Long live $CZR

  12. you forgot the propone fly to heat up your house and fireplace. sph and apu divies have just past, but FGP 10% q divy just around the corner.

  13. WETF +6.43%

  14. 72 degrees and sunny. Sent via AOL + 11 %

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The Snow Storm is Coming

I know the globally warmed winter has spoiled you with balmy weather. But tonight you are going to be reintroduced to a blast from the past, Old Man Winter. He lives in Boston, apparently, and he’s going to bury you alive.

By this time tomorrow, your towns will look like Pompeii. Instead of hot lava pouring down on your towns, incinerating everything in it, the exact opposite will occur.

EVERYBODY IS GOING TO FREEZE TO DEATH BY WAY OF THE ICICLE.

Grocery stores (SWY) will soon sport bare cupboards, thanks to the elimination of the North East highway system (GVA)–shut down, enshrouded by snow. Criminally insane (CXW) people will roam the streets in search of milk (DF), eggs (CALM) and bread (FLO). You will be forced to beat them about the head and chest to keep them out of your home, or perhaps shoot them in their heads (SWHC)– as the fight for survival hits a fevered pitch.

Do yourselves a favour and travel (Pii) to your local WFM or TFM to stockpile up on at least 6 months worth of canned goods (BGS), preferably organic (HAIN). Buy lots of rock salt (CMP) and plenty of shovels (LOW). While you’re at it, buy a few generators (GNRC), along with at least 10 containers (Justrite, privately held) of gasoline (WNR).

Brace yourselves, alongside a black mug filled with the blackest coffee (GMCR)– and some snacks (LNCE). Watch a few comedic films (NFLX) and spend some quality time with your loved ones (CHD, FHCO)– for your days on this earth are quickly drawing to an end (CSV).

26 Responses to “The Snow Storm is Coming”

  1. Just poetic

  2. Never mind that there is an asteroid coming our way!

  3. LOL @ “about the head and chest”

  4. Buy uranium and store it in your basement.

  5. Nothing’s going to top that today. May as well call it a day.

  6. Well done…the best part of NFLX is that under “Just In” I am sure to find Swiss Family Robinson

  7. I don’t know about that.
    I just looked out the window, saw a clear blue sky, and the Weather Channel says its 65 going to about 75.

  8. Fidel Cash Grow

    People here in the Boston area are absolutely freaking out. You need riot gear to go to the grocery store. The first few flakes are falling as we speak and I agree with the Fly. Death is a certainty in the next 24 hours.

  9. This is good :)

  10. Will Doug Kass be right……………

  11. Long live $CZR

  12. you forgot the propone fly to heat up your house and fireplace. sph and apu divies have just past, but FGP 10% q divy just around the corner.

  13. WETF +6.43%

  14. 72 degrees and sunny. Sent via AOL + 11 %

Comments are closed.