Best of “The Fly”: 1/20 – 1/25

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The Important Matter of Wood Leads

The Important Matter of the Series 7 Examination

This is Not a Success Story

““The Fly” intends to work smart much more than hard, as it is his birth right to enjoy the superfluities of excess before the decrepit age of 50. While most of you punch clocks and shovel manure into fields of tomatoes, Le Fly is sipping on a small glass of sherry, listening to his favorite classical pieces.”

A Better Way to Play Japan

“When asset managers are doing well, investors flock to them, helping to balloon their assets under management, which translates into a stronger bottom line.

Enter Wisdom Tree.

Wisdom Tree has been an innovator in managed ETFs. Their AUM are at record highs of $20 billion, thanks in large part of DXJ–which now has over $2 billion committed to it by investors. A staggering $576 million of inflows was reported the week ending 1/17, thanks to the popularity of the long Japan/short Yen thesis.”

By Law: We Cannot Go Lower

“Keep in mind, we are always subject to the occasional drift and individual names are game to be had and dismembered. But if you put your beastly greed aside and bought only mega-cap stocks, you might find your relationship with time and money to be much more pleasurable. Dare I say, the market will continue to go higher until it cannot go anymore.”

The Light Shall Set You $CREE

“LED lighting is the future for any city looking to upgrade to a better, cleaner, more sustainable technology and CREE is the dominating company in the space. The company has had hiccups due to Chinese phantom city delays. But perhaps they’ve turned the corner for good, following such a superb quarter.”

LET THE LANDMINE DETONATIONS COMMENCE

“Let this be a final warning to you chicken jerkers out there. The market has run up large and earnings are bound to disrupt the whimsical order of things. If I were you, I’d avoid any name that missed earnings last quarter or who could be viewed as “exposed” to economic downturn in the northeast, due to Hurricane Sandy. You might also want to avoid being long basic material names that depend on the chinese. As you know, they are oddball creatures, who are as predictable as a glass filled with glyceryl trinitrate.”

 Best January Since 1997

“Three out of four times the market went up in February. 2001 was different, since  retards ruled the roost and the market was getting gaveled on a daily basis. Plus our government was secretly plotting to knock down the World Trade Center and plant the seeds to destroy the entirety of modern finance.”

It’s a Blackberry, Nokia, Netflix Type of World

“There’s only so many markets Apple could flood with their FOXCONN manufactured wares before saturation took a toll. For decades, Apple positioned itself as an outsider, a rebel looking to “deflower” the establishment. But since its leader died, the company, via unmatched, historical success, has morphed from being the guy protesting “the man” to the man himself, billy club and all.”

I Found Your Bear Market

“When gold was on its initial way up, the miners shot higher based upon expectations that the miners would be minting coin. Truth is, the miners are burdened with high costs and operated by inefficient, lazy criminals– posing as corporate executives. They never quite made all of the money they were supposed to make, did they? I do not intend to back up any of my statements with proof.”

The Transportation Index Leads the Way

“Please stop with the ever so coy Tranny/Transvestite references. It’s getting a bit old.”

Whistling Past Apple

“Embrace the new bull market, froth with excess and certitude. Something really big is about to happen. A new gilded era is upon us. I hope you’re masculine enough to man the front lines. Perhaps, if you’re not feeling up to it, you can ask your wife or girlfriend to man it for you?”

Carl “Give Me Three Seats on Your Stupid Board” Icahn is Going to Destroy Ackman

“One of many reasons why Icahn wants to rip Ackman’s head off.

He is a contorted pervert.”

The Gilded Era Has Returned

“Dare I say, it’s folly to disclose a short position to the world, unless you’re planning to cover your short right away. I don’t think it’s tactful or gentlemanly to hold these press conferences, highlighting reasons why XYZ is going to zero. These short sellers have it coming to them, AND MORE.”

LEVERED UP, INTO THE BELL

“I am swimming in a sea of green. I emerge (you come, I emerge) from the water looking like a sea monster from the lagoon, strewn with seaweed and Heineken beer bottles. I am making so much money right now, my face is numb and my right hand is slapping people in the face, all on its own.”

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