Best of “The Fly”

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The Biggest Story Never Told

“God bless the souls of Tim Knight and Zerohedge. I have no idea how they can remain on the interwebs after being treated so brambly by the markets.”

““The Fly” is immune to such occurrences, since he would be in outerspace, enjoying the view, while firing his Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) at the indigenous folks in Africa. There is nothing redeeming, whatsoever, about that God forsaken continent.”

Japan Has Gone ‘Full Samurai’

“Some of the internets are worried about the downward spiral in the Yen, exclaiming “OMG, it’s sooo gonna stop going down so fast, lol, LMAO, SMH.” Ignore these people are being retarded, incapable of deciphering the difference between a poached egg from one that is soft boiled.”

Off to a Good Start, Setting Reasonable Goals for 2013

“Gone are the days when I’d take an imperious stance against the natural order of the market. It has ruined scores of men throughout time and will continue to do so, as long as expectations remain great, unreasonable, and out of reach.”

It’s Smooth Sailing Until April

“Even though the GOP wants to destroy the credit of the United Steaks, they still love the country in the same manner that an African Black Eagle loves its discarded young (if you don’t know, you don’t know).”

Stocks to Avoid

“In summary, if you’re not in a stock for its fundamentals, you have no business owning it through earnings. Sell it and go buy yourself a week’s worth of bath salts, so you can sniff it all up and go on a zombie face eating binge.”

Citizens: Hand in Your Guns

“God bless the Lord!

Do not worry about burglars sneaking into your home for a late night rape, for the policemen of this country will still be armed. If you live in NYC, you are fully aware of the police presence, as they stroll about, gallantly, in their uniforms armed for war. There’s hardly any crime in NYC and most who receive acts of barbarity had it coming, in one way or another. Truth be told, may Jesus strike you with his cannon.

The authors of the constitution, small chaps, only wanted its citizens to carry muskets and explode bullets in their faces during backfires. Our founding fathers, or might I say “great, great, great grandfathers”, never intended to put the sword in the hands of its citizens to serve as a militia against a tyrannical government. Had they known about first shooter video games and violent cinema, they would have banned muskets the second someone used one on another human being!”

PERSHING SQUARE HAS ITS FRANKS AND BEANS CAUGHT IN A HERBALIFE ZIPPER

“If he covers HLF before it goes to zero, his credibility will be badly tarnished and will be viewed as “the boy who cried wolf” from now on. If it goes to zero, he will be lauded and praised as the best investor of all-time. CNBC will make a bronze statue out of his likeness and place it on top of the iconic Wall Street bull.”

Sipping From a Fountain of Sand

“I’m just thinking out loud here, as I have nothing to hide, never have, never will–sans my identity.

Perhaps VHC will be that win or maybe SNE or HMC? More often than not, it’s the spontaneous trade that ends up being my biggest winners.

Until then, “The Fly” sits here, clad in a shemagh, laughing hysterically, sipping sand from a champagne flute.”

Good Times Ahead

“It’s natural to fear for one’s position when it is knifing lower. Let me make this perfectly clear to all of you reading this here memo.

If a person has a sizable position in a stock, based upon his/her percentage of liquid assets, HE SHOULD BE WORRIED  when his position is going lower. When the stock is riding high, HE SHOULD FEEL GOOD and seek to involuntarily punch strangers in the nose for living. That’s normal human behavior.”

A Word or Two About Conspiracy Theories

“Pardon me for being so brazenly forthright–because I really want to use some fouled language right now– but the creator of that video is a jackass.”

Don’t Worry, Help is On the Way

“Most of us will wear bowed ties and take our families out for “steak dinners” this evening, in order to properly celebrate today’s market wins. A small minority of you will sit at home watching Youtube videos, swearing to the almighty himself that the entire town of Newtown is one giant fiction, created by Hollywood to strip Texans of their pistols.”

The Good Old Days Will Not Be Celebrated

^^All

REVENGE OF THE NERDS

“Eventually this nerd stuff ends and the cool kids throw them down flights of stairs, snatch their lunch money, and give them wedgies.”

America’s Only Hope: Housing

“You can play games with restaurant and retails stocks, trying to time the superfluities of the often fickle American housewife. But if you’re a man, the only way to play the US economy is through housing.

It was the root cause of all of the pain and suffering and will be the savior. The Fed is intent on inflating home prices. Nationally, home values surged by 5% in 2012. I am expecting more of the same, AND MORE, in 2013.

I’ve talked about this thesis trade for years–but it’s coming down the home stretch now. The profits are about to get serious, moving out from “dead cat bounce” to boom.”

Moving Away from Degeneracy

“This weekend, “The Fly” intends to drink, but nothing too excessive. I practice discretion and do not dwell in the cellars of degeneracy like the reading class on this site–gluttons feeding off genetically modified foodstuffs, grizzle, sweet coffee, and highly sugared energy sodas.”

2 Responses to “Best of “The Fly””

  1. I really like this format.

    • Thanks. I really enjoyed reading them again. It really is an honor and privilege to work alongside one of my favorite writers.

      I had wanted to do this for a while, so I proposed the idea, got the green light and now look forward to future editions.

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