As you recall, several months ago we had elections, whereby three candidates were chosen as ‘interim tabbed bloggers’, selected by the people, for the people, to represent iBC. Shortly thereafter, the Great Maximus, who was lauded by the people, had to retire due to family issues. Immediately following, I mandated the school crossing guard, protector of our children, Elizamae, take the helm. She’s done a wonderful ever since.
But now comes the crux of the situation we find ourselves in.
The terms of employment were based upon the condition that each new member uphold the highest of standards in journalism and to partake in belligerent propaganda, while receiving a minimum 3% of overall site traffic.
Now comes the unfortunate part of the story.
At the outset of joining the ranks, I sent the interim bloggers a web page to track their blog’s traffic in real time. Well, according to the web page, assembled by BEAS himself, all bloggers are upholding the minimum 3% threshold. On most days, some of them even capture 4 or 5%!
BEHOLD the unbelievable as I unravel it before your very eyes.
According to Google Analytics, none of them are even close to 3%, thereby and effectively leaving them exposed to the very dangers they’ve been trying to avoid since 12/15/12: they shall be fired.
Elections will be held on the day of our lord March 15th, 2013, to elect new interim tabbed bloggers. All those interested shall make themselves known inside of the Blogger Network. If you haven’t been invited to our blogger network, email Vincenzo Illuminati for an invite at [email protected]
I’ve been thoroughly impressed with the efforts of all three bloggers and would love to keep them onboard. However, rules and rules and these are the very strictest of rules passed down from the Board of Directors at iBankCoin, enforced by yours truly, for the benefit of the world of finance.
For all of those celebrating tonight’s Baltimore Raven victory, just know that the last time they won the Super Bowl this country fell victim to the greatest attack on American soil since Pearled Harbor.
Good night and farewell.
I’m a fucking piker, what can I say?
Make it a strong Feb. Perhaps your fortune can change.
You know me, I’ll give it everything I have.
Gail Wynand
when should the the blogging network start publishing content in order to capture the votes needed to become an interim blogger?
and related(ly), when should the blogging network start threatening the iBC viewers at knife point?
Chivo
Mid February
Sup dogs
Imma kill some nice white ladies tonight homies
Why was there a difference between your web page and google analytics ?
Because theres clearly a mismatch and conflict of interest between those running the internal analytics for iBCS and new bloggers
Someone is blowing someone else under the table and it sounds like guy on guy action. The 49’ers wouldn’t even approve of this gay fuckery that is afoot.
I’ll fuck your mouth. KISSES!
Significant. Can’t you read?
Have my children Fly.
I would love to start my own blog tab for you Fly. I’m pretty sure I can deliver but it wont be 100% legit. I will make up facts to make my argument seem better, but I will bring in the audience.
Look for SNE and PC to have huge gains tomorrow based on them being up 7.53% and 16,89% respectively in overnight trading!
Gaining a readership takes time – why not let them blog for 6 months first?
Here is a tip to the bloggers – be a hit hoe – mention whatever stock is trending the most on StockTwits that day, include it in your post, and post it to StockTwits with a link and reference to that ticker