IT’S OFFICIAL: CARL ICAHN IS GOING TO DESTROY BILL ACKMAN

If I was Bill Ackman, I’d cover the entirety of my HLF short position tomorrow and let Carl have the company.

Just a short while ago, Icahn announced a very long position in HLF, acquiring 12.8% of the company–joining Dan Loeb in a whimsical quest to eviscerate the sexual deviant, Bill Ackman. I wonder if they really even know anything about Herbal life?

What’s more dangerous than a 76 year old man with $15 billion in the market, hell bent on putting you out of business? Let’s face it, Carl isn’t going to quit. He just made $600 million saving NFLX; now he’s going to place Bill “Mars Attacks” Ackman inside of a “Brazen Bull” to see him cook–ever so slowly.

Shares of HLF are up so much in the after-hours, Bill Ackman defecated his pants (no Carnival Cruise Ship Triumph).

If Ackman doesn’t come out on top of this one, his reputation will be ruined. Carl has publicly humiliated Ackman, questioning his investment acumen, and now he’s going to make him pay with his partners capital.

With this move up, Carl just made $100 million and Bill lost $200 million.

Icahn will be interviewed tomorrow, on CNBC, to shovel more dirt in the face of Ackman–must watch teevee.

Let the games begin!

***EXCLUSIVE***: Footage of Bill ‘Mars Attacks’ Ackman upon receiving the news of Carl Icahn’s position.

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30 Responses to IT’S OFFICIAL: CARL ICAHN IS GOING TO DESTROY BILL ACKMAN

Mr. Partridge says:

Ackman will not give up … so this might be the beginning…
May be there is a trade in this.. he might want to sell some holdings out of his fund to generate liquidity..
Icahn will not give up too and he is crazier than Ackman, he will fight till the last $.
Someone will make a movie out of this drama one day.

Reply
some_shmuck says:

I’m fascinated by this story. Icahn technically won already, yet if he sells his “alleged” long position, Ackman may end up alright, looking like he knew what he was talking about all along. Ichan’s disdain for Aaaackman is the only thing that is stopping him from cashing out ahead BIG. I wish I had that kind of money – risking millions simply to spite an enemy.

If I had that kind of money, I would take the opportunity to ram the next idiot driver before me off the road. Nothing life threatening, just enough to ruin their day and make mine.

Reply
@gravestonedoji says:

The best outcome is Ackman gets homo’d out of his position for a titanic (errr…Carnival Triumph) loss and then the Feds shutdown HLF as the pyramid scheme it is with limp dick Icahn left holding the bag. #winning

Reply
Flicker says:

Alas… a battle for the ages. Ackman is at a major disadvantage with Carl’s history of extracting value from many companies. Ackman will not fold his cards until he see’s a few more raises and Carl has pocket aces.

Reply
Cascadian says:

Ackman seems smarter. MLM companies are Ponzi schemes and should go down in flames. But a lot of folks are MLM fans. They sign up time and again thinking they will make big money. HLF can stay in business a long time with aggressive promotion and recruitment.

Reply
The Eye-Talian Stallion says:

The “Battle of the Jews”. Could be better than the “Thrilla in Manila” and the “Rumble in the Jungle”.
Afterwards they will go split the cost of a seltzer water at the deli.

Reply
Raise Taxes, Raise Spending says:

Sorry to hijack the thread, but Maclean’s, Canada’s national newsmagazine has just declared that the market is in the midst of the biggest bull run ever, and now is the time to buy stock, with the word “buy” in huge type across the cover.
I think that traditionally, this sort of thing usually portends the beginning of the end of the bull.

Reply
JTU says:

Ellie Mae can increase its market share further, says JMP Securities
JMP Securities believes that Ellie Mae reported strong Q4 results and the firm thinks the company can increase its market share to 44% by the end of 2013 versus 39% in 2012. It raised its estimates and maintains a $34 price target and Outperform rating on the shares.

Reply

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