iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,429 Blog Posts

ALERT: iBankCoin’s Dress Code Has Changed

As you know, iBankCoin upholds the strictest dress code on the internets, consisting of tuxedo, white tie, proper dinner jacket, white gloves, top hat and cane. This dress code remains a constant throughout the site, except when reading Rhino’s blog–who asked permission and was granted to wear army fatigues and blackened face when working on the site. Just a reminder, women must adhere to these codes as well.

We are not gender friendly at iBC. Consider this to be sausage fest, without all of the vulgarity and depravity that swirls through your small brains. We are gentlemen here who are interested in banking coin. That is all.

Effective immediately, black ties will be permitted in these halls, but only on dress down Friday. Here are some images to clarify my edict.


PERMITTED

NOT PERMITTED (no scarves allowed)

PERMITTED (only on Rhino’s blog)

PERMITTED (female attire)

NOT PERMITTED (nice try sneaking in a filthy animal, but the disguise has been detected and the canine will be escorted off the premises)

NOT PERMITTED (if you come here looking like that, the police will be called)

PERMITTED (“hello good Sir, did you come with a topped hat?” “Why of course, I gave it to the footman when I arrived.” “Very Well.”)

PERMITTED (“Why hello good Sir, may I offer you a cocked tail? “Ruff, ruff.” Very well Sir”)

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37 comments

  1. Arnold

    Get to da choppa!

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  2. The Plumbers Crack
    The Plumbers Crack

    Well done Sir, well done.

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  3. Rhino

    Thank you for your considerations. I shall wear my “Dress Blues,” with bowed tie, when not on mission.

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  4. Doughstream

    Huh?

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  5. DK

    Too much free time??

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  6. Pimp-dollar

    That’s one of the funniest posts I’ve ever seen, lol..Well done Le Fly

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  7. Dr. Clock

    And of course the lady ( http://tinyurl.com/ahh5ttx ) must have a proper cigarette holder if indeed she must smoke.

    …as such http://tinyurl.com/abkpbn7

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  8. Chester

    Greetings Fly,

    First time leaving a comment, long-time reader. Big fan.

    I respectfully disagree with your female-friendly policy. Sure, the woman in the tuxedo looks the part well enough; but she’s still a woman. You cannot abide ones such as them while professing to maintain a respectable website. I think we can all agree that women have no place in Finance in general, and certainly no place on iBankCoin in particular (the pinacle of finance).

    I hope that you will take my objection into consideration.

    Sincerely,
    Chester

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    • The Fly

      Dear Chester

      I was hoping to come off as gentlemanly by suggesting a rather unreasonable attire for the ladies. Hence, avoiding the subject all together.

      I see you were raised amongst the chickens in the streets and offer little tact in these regards.

      Good day

      Fly

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  9. ultramarine

    Dr. Fly, thank you for tonight’s lesson. I had never considered that the white tie over a white pique vest, over the formal shirt, of course, is the most formal of a gentleman’s attire. Which can all be spoiled by wearing a black tie instead.

    Thanks to banking coin with you so far into this fine new year of our Lord, I can finally afford a cache of white ties to proudly display on my person while conducting my daily activities of necessity. Those who encounter me will know that I fully educated on the proper ways of a gentleman and hopefully grant me the proper respect.

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    • ultramarine

      I just remembered, I will need to acquire the proper attire for Rhino’s blog. I am not that familiar with this Camo Haute Couture of dress designed not to be observed in, along with paints that obscure a proud visage. I would appreciate any links from yourself or other contributors to further educate myself on proper Camo-based ensembles for the distinguished dresser.

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      • The Fly

        The camo attired gents and tuxed ones will meld in the main lobby on the front page.

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    • The Fly

      Good to hear my good man.

      Never wear a black tie with tuxedo. You will make yourself look the part of a gangster in a comic book saga.

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  10. Cascadian

    Is underwear required?

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  11. PFFF

    Enforcing dress code here is like putting lipstick on a pig. It masks the true problem, viz. the readers are schlubs, totally devoid of honour and comportment.

    Fly, if you want to restore order in these great halls, you need to reinstate random, unprovoked executions. Sorry to say, but that’s the only thing the readers understand.

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  12. ottnott

    Good Godwin, man. How it vexes me to discern such an odious fellow amongst the habitués of your haberdasher.

    http://libertas.bigblog.com.au/data/0/3861/image/hitopera4339420070808214001.jpg

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  13. TC44

    Fly are cigars preferred or shall we procure a pipe for our habits?

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    • The Fly

      Both cigars and pipes are permitted. Cigarettes are allowed only if accompanied by a proper holder.

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  14. Narwahl

    As a gentleman, I respectfully request our lady pals be permitted to wear scarved accessories by Hermes.

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  15. asteroids

    Time to visit Joseph A Banks?

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  16. theedge111

    Fly

    You are now officially too much of a gentlemen.

    I need to hear some ghetto mouthed foul language to balance all of this out.

    I am all for 2″ thick rib eyes with a nice bottle of wine but fuck me going sideways if I am losing money in the market.

    Good day Sir.

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  17. Raise Taxes, Raise Spending
    Raise Taxes, Raise Spending

    Was ist los, der Vly.

    Ich Münze bank ohne Hose auf.

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  18. Mr. President

    Le Fly,

    May I suggest a new moniker for yourself:

    The Fly, esq.

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  19. Mr. President

    Le Fly,

    What is proper procedure when slapping someone with a hot, hot slice of pizza whilst wearing white gloves? Remove them first, lest they be soiled?

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  20. Katniss

    This is fantastic! Even the comments are entertaining. ROFL!!

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    I think a few other internet business owners would need to take into account this important blog site as a model. Remarkably clean and intuitive layout, and moreover really good subject material! You’re very skilled regarding this particular area 🙂

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