iBankCoin
Wake up. Break the cycle. Teach your children.
Joined Oct 24, 2016
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Suicidal Bitcoin Holders Share Tales Of Financial Disaster

The last 48 hours of Bitcoin volatility is sure to give stupid families across the country something to talk about this Christmas. Retarded uncles everywhere will amble over half drunk, talk some shit about “crypto” like an expert – 2 weeks after hearing the word for the first time, and offer up some sink-pissing Porter Stansberry bullshit about buying farmland.

Should be fun…

In the meantime, Bitcoin experts have been sharing their alleged tales of disaster over Twitter and Reddit following the carnage. And while the digital currency continues to bounce hard after yet another dick-wrenching selloff, the next one could quite easily turn into the blackest of deaths for retarded uncles and their hard-earned five figure life savings.

 

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7 comments

  1. Mad marsupial

    Oh man, that’s hilarious. Can’t wait to stuff a rude cousin with two pints of 50% rum Eggnog and ask him about this.

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  2. sarcrilege

    Funny as hell. Truly. On the other hand, these were the same homos snickering when told this is 1999 on steroids moving at warp speed even last week when insiders started moving closer to exits. Assholes. And all those millions in losses? Jut like all the gains – those were all phantom “numbers”. There are no profits/losses until you book it. Until you hold it briefly in your hand and lose it shortly after in a boating accident. HODL!

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  3. gappingandyapping

    Bitcoin just rallied $4000 so the crash is officially over.

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  4. moosh

    New bull market until goldman ballsachs says so?

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  5. derp

    Anyone investing their live savings in a digital currency deserves to be ass raped with a miniature baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. And definitely no reach around. Selfish as fuck but hey, you’re stupid, so…

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  6. ironturd

    This post aged well. Someone is a sad fuck for spending 24/7 Trumpfucking with inane summary blogposts for two years while a bunch of tech geeks made bank. Even fly catching couple hundred Ks in a late crypto rush. What’s the bonus check looking like this year? A big order of Alex Jones Male Semen Pills? Happy Holidays Zeropointnow from your #1 cuck, you did a tremendous job in 2017, hope Fly got around to teaching you how to put in a buy order for a stock and exactly what all those dang numbers mean

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  7. moonshot

    Did someone piss in your lucky charms?

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