The last 48 hours of Bitcoin volatility is sure to give stupid families across the country something to talk about this Christmas. Retarded uncles everywhere will amble over half drunk, talk some shit about “crypto” like an expert – 2 weeks after hearing the word for the first time, and offer up some sink-pissing Porter Stansberry bullshit about buying farmland.
Should be fun…
In the meantime, Bitcoin experts have been sharing their alleged tales of disaster over Twitter and Reddit following the carnage. And while the digital currency continues to bounce hard after yet another dick-wrenching selloff, the next one could quite easily turn into the blackest of deaths for retarded uncles and their hard-earned five figure life savings.
Fuck #bitcoin
I lost 2.1 Million USD within few hours@aAliveSoul#bubble #FuckNawaz
— ٹیم ٹیریان خان نیازی (@heroinechee) December 22, 2017
[P] I'm not worried about my Bitcoin because I have my backup retirement fund in tulips. https://t.co/RrmVRRqTKN
— Paul and Storm (@paulandstorm) December 22, 2017
i lost 100k worth of bit coin i'm now quite suicidal
— robert stanton (@cypressbill1980) December 22, 2017
In the last year I lost 87% on Steinhoff and in the last two days I lost 40% on Bitcoin, if you needed something to give a fuck about
— Dr Dirk Donkerbal (@dirkdup69) December 22, 2017
I made $200 on side hustles today!
But I lost $4,000 in Bitcoin in the last 90 minutes.
— Tom Blockchain Coffee (@spillingcoffee) December 22, 2017
The bad news kids… I lost $10k in Bitcoin. The good news… here's your stocking stuffed with Bitcoin. ?? pic.twitter.com/v12nyxShs8
— Rick (@subtweetRick) December 22, 2017
Dang! I lost already 700 pesos in my investment. Bitcoin's price is plummeting.
— raaaayyyy (@barbon_ray) December 22, 2017
You don’t wanna do that. They released bitcoin cash, someone on the inside was already pushing sales and the price spiked too quickly so it got shit down while an investigation goes on. Aaaand I lost money and can’t get it out that account
— Mocha?? (@WinterSunday93) December 22, 2017
invested my mom's life savings in bitcoin a week ago, she needs to stop calling me harassing & screaming at me, have told her first rule of gravity what goes down must come up, old people don't understand basic physics.
— superCalo (@superCalo) December 22, 2017
Fuck Bitcoin pic.twitter.com/dLwPzuETgA
— Bill Ponderosa (@Jake_Mills6969) December 22, 2017
MY BITCOIN WENT DOWN I LOST ALL MY SAVINGS pic.twitter.com/GmkIPqnjuQ
— The Prince (@ZeTyrantPrince) December 22, 2017
fuck bitcoin value drop. this gif is gold. https://t.co/5d67RYMySe
— Kurama (@ewertonleaoK) December 22, 2017
WHY THE FUCK BITCOIN KEEP GOIN DOWN AAAAHHHH STOP FUCKING GOING DOWN pic.twitter.com/78PU9mmNJ0
— a l e x ?? (@CiphrV2_0) December 21, 2017
When it’s Friday, and you DIDN’T dump your entire savings into Bitcoin on Monday. #FridayFeels #BTC pic.twitter.com/EAUd2zc9F6
— Tony Besson (@TonyBesson) December 22, 2017
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Oh man, that’s hilarious. Can’t wait to stuff a rude cousin with two pints of 50% rum Eggnog and ask him about this.
Funny as hell. Truly. On the other hand, these were the same homos snickering when told this is 1999 on steroids moving at warp speed even last week when insiders started moving closer to exits. Assholes. And all those millions in losses? Jut like all the gains – those were all phantom “numbers”. There are no profits/losses until you book it. Until you hold it briefly in your hand and lose it shortly after in a boating accident. HODL!
Bitcoin just rallied $4000 so the crash is officially over.
New bull market until goldman ballsachs says so?
Anyone investing their live savings in a digital currency deserves to be ass raped with a miniature baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. And definitely no reach around. Selfish as fuck but hey, you’re stupid, so…
This post aged well. Someone is a sad fuck for spending 24/7 Trumpfucking with inane summary blogposts for two years while a bunch of tech geeks made bank. Even fly catching couple hundred Ks in a late crypto rush. What’s the bonus check looking like this year? A big order of Alex Jones Male Semen Pills? Happy Holidays Zeropointnow from your #1 cuck, you did a tremendous job in 2017, hope Fly got around to teaching you how to put in a buy order for a stock and exactly what all those dang numbers mean
Did someone piss in your lucky charms?