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BACKING DOWN: Vladimir Putin Is Cool Now

Make no mistake, Vladimir Putin does not fuck around. He’s a stone cold KGB relic of the Iron Curtain, and I guarantee he can kill you with his bare hands and feel nothing. The man is an actual apex predator, not a #spiritcooking charlatan or a limp wristed puppet.

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(limp wristed puppet)

Some of you are living in Rocky IV and think Russia is still your enemy, about to Red Dawn us. Get over it Grandpa. Putin simply wants to control the entire supply of energy into Europe while enriching his friends. I really couldn’t give less of a shit. plus, isn’t Europe all high and mighty about all their alternative energy programmes? Anyway, if you’re stuck on Russia = enemy, just play pretend and go along with me:

First, watch this if you haven’t already. I’ll wait.

Putin makes excellent points. Also, did your animal brain notice how he’s a stone cold apex predator who appears to be quite serious? Good. So when Putin sends 40 million Russians into Nuclear War training, floats their boats down the English channel, and unveils the Satan 2 super-nuke, you pay attention and maybe hear the man out when he says he will defend Assad at all costs. In response, the underpaying dicks at NATO put 300,000 troops on high alert for direct conflict with Russia, mind you, over a pipeline that the Saudis REALLY want to send oil through.

On the topic of Syria, the Saudis, and last night’s losing candidate; thanks to Wikileaks, it looks more and more like the Syria’s Arab Spring was in fact a Hillary Clinton production. She was behind Egypt’s Arab Spring, and she sat on the board of a Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) partner under investigation for funding the Islamic State. Furthermore, Hillary’s close friends in the house of Saud financed the Jihadist troops fighting Assad right now. This is straight out of the West’s playbook to wrangle out of pocket despots who want to abandon the US Dollar or allow a critical new pipeline through their country. We can go into the ethics of the Assad regime another time, but you better be able to tell me why Saudi Arabia is one of a few countries allowed to brutalize their population at a whim. Donating to the Clinton Foundation seems to be a common theme among those who get a pass.

Anyway, as predicted by anyone not confined to the United States MSM echo chamber, Putin is monumentally happy about Trump’s victory last night, and looks forward to NOT going to WWIII over Syria.

Per the RT:

We heard [Trump’s] campaign rhetoric while still a candidate for the US presidency, which was focused on restoring the relations between Russia and the United States,” President Putin said, speaking at the presentation ceremony of foreign ambassadors’ letters of credentials in Moscow. We understand and are aware that it will be a difficult path in the light of the degradation in which, unfortunately, the relationship between Russia and the US are at the moment,” he added.

In closing, sleep tight – for Donald J. “Spirit of Harambe” Trump is a man of peace, though I’m sure he also took note of the size of Putin’s Satan 2 rocket – a threat we may have to neutralize one day. Until then, let’s see what happens in the next few weeks and hope that our Nobel Peace Prize winning leader doesn’t decide to make WWIII his last act as president.

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Donald J. “SPIRIT OF HARAMBE” Trump: Time Traveling Savior

Look, we already know about Fly’s time machine. I have even heard rumors that he runs a trans-dimensional uplink from his Exodus servers to the pocket sized quantum cortex located in his basement in the year 3021, no data cap. He says “space alien magician” and shit to try to impress you, but he’s just a regular dude from the future. Everybody is a surgeon by age 3 in 3021, so again, nothing special.

What you may not also know, is that your next president could quite possibly be on a very important mission from the future…

I haven’t researched any of this, but you can assume it’s true because it’s from the hacker known as 4chan. I give you…

DONALD J. “SPIRIT OF HARAMBE” TRUMP: TIME TRAVELING SAVIOR™

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HOW DID HE KNOW?

 

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