Encroaching on 42 — Getting Old Has Its Benefits

On May 25th, I will turn 42. After I hit 40, I felt like my life had ended. I was getting my affairs in order and making sure my family would have food and shelter upon my liquidation back into the matrix. Over the past two years my virility has been greatly diminished, but a lot of that has to do with the fact that I WAS A FUCKING VEGAN FAGGOT. Before the vegan faggot phase, I was a gluten free edge-lord, rejecting slices of bread at restaurants because gluten was the enemy.

Now that I’ve corrected all that (extra Delbert Grady), my new enemy is life itself. Instead of life fucking me, I am fucking it. Get what I’m saying? Good… neither do I. Nowadays, I head on over to the gym and lift very heavy objects. When I say ‘very heavy objects’, I mean that in a comical way — because truth of the matter is I am at 50% strength now and am a laughing stock at the free weights gym yard. Another truth is that lifting very heavy weights is just about the dumbest thing a 40+ year old man can do. I don’t want a hernia, or dislocated vertebrae. I just want to shred down to 10% body fat, and be able to lift really heavy things and throw them really far.

What are you doing with your life?

The point I was going to make is this, very simply: going to the gym is good, but if you’re not tracking EVERY SINGLE fucking thing you eat and adhering to a strict diet, you’re a faggot. You come here for laughs and on occasion, when I’m not trading like an upright walking pig, investment ideas. But this is the best advice you’ll ever get from me.

Preventative healthcare is the the most affordable healthcare. Go join the best gym in your neighborhood and buy yourself some very good workout attire, in order to feel invested in the whole process. If you’re a fat fuck, hire a coach and don’t binge eat or drink canteens filled with beer. If you must be an alcoholic, drink vodka neat. If you do this, in 6 months from now — you’ll be thanking me and you might even feel good about yourself.

Futures are flat. Stocks can suck my dick. Off to watch some Cobra Kai — bootlegged edition.

NOTE: The benefit of getting old is knowing how to live and what to prioritize.

NOTE II: Follow our new Instagram account. It will be active.

My discretionary account was about flat today, thanks to the action in DUST and TZOO. But my quant account, the account that has the majority of my money, was also flat. This is an especially unique disclosure, since the portfolio is geared to track alpha and outperform markets — but not like this. This is shitting on markets, making a fucking mockery of it — reducing you fucking manlets into hammed sandwiches to be noshed on during dinner.

This being the halfway mark of May, I thought I’d update you on its performance thus far.

Exodus Quant: +3.38% for the month.

SPY: +2.86%

Reminder: The Quant portfolio was structured on a weekly basis last year and won 75% of the time vs the SPY. This year it is a monthly rebalancing and it has beaten or matched the SPY every month of the year.

Off to the gym, fully loaded with g’s of creatine.

For those concerned, the wealth of iBC culture and history is being preserved here.

What brainlet thought this was a good idea?

I can see how this went down.

“Mr. President, fuck N. Korea, let’s bomb them.”
“No, I want a noble peace prize. Let me talk to them first.”
“Okay but let’s do some military drills right before meeting.”
“Won’t that upset them?”
“No, quite the opposite Mr. President Sir. The only thing those savages understand is strength and power.”
“So you’re saying this will help me get a noble peace prize? I can’t wait to see the look on Wolf Blitzer’s face when I get one.”
“Correct Sir. The N. Koreans will quickly surrender after they see how serious you are. Promised kept, remember?”
“Ok, do it. This is a good thing, right?”
“Absolutely.”

BOMB N.KOREA.

Tom Wolfe is dead — but he was 87, so in a way he earned a death. Speaking of death, the lot of you gold bugs are right now sitting in my cremator and I am about to turn the oven on, converting you into DUST. Speaking of DUST, I am long the ETF and am quite pleased with the smart pin action today. Speaking of smart pin action, I have an IQ of 155 and I’ve always found that I was a better pseudo intellectual than 99% of the people I know. Speaking of IQ, I am long that stock too and believe it too is going to rampage higher — flattening and muddling its shorts into paste.

But don’t take my word for it, go look at the chart.

There are two enemies of mine reading this blog today, one is a gigantic faggot and only said he bought SOXS, but he didn’t because, well, he’s a gigantic faggot. The second bought SOXS and is now enjoying gains at my expense. He tried to coddle me with small talk, like an imp, because he probably feels guilty for being a monster. But, just know, “The Fly” never forgives and never forgets and also exacts revenge.

Life is somewhat good, although it’s a bit hot today. My garden work is all but done and the boxwoods are happy for it, for now they can grow in peace without being hacked away by a delusional genius.

As oil spins higher, my darkened heart glows from the idea of $5 gasoline in California. Driving is a privilege, not a right, and under republican administrations oil prices are high. While under democratic administrations, welfare is prevalent and oil is cheap. You voted for higher oil prices, so stop complaining — maybe eat a little less in order to better afford driving around this summer?

This drop in stocks has to be temporary, it always is. In the meantime, pray and hope for lower stocks in order to see Exodus in action again. It will call the oversold level to the exact day and you will, once again, say it was all a coincidence and point to some bastard technical indicator that does the same — but you and I both know you’ll be lying, as always. Insecurities are always wrapped in them, while the truth is a hard and undiscoverable tonic in these parts, so rare that most think it’s just another elaborate lie.

Fuck this shit. I waited my entire life for this SOXS shit to jump off and the second I sell it two faggots in the comments section buy it and make a fortune? My world wasn’t supposed to be like this. Ergo, I am going back into the dense woods of House Fly with my electric powered chain saw, in order to hedge some more boxwoods. Maybe I’ll make some fucking boxes and octagons out of them.

Meanwhile, I wanted to share this audio clip with you. This is a clip of a man named John Clancy. He was a top producer at Stratton Oakmont, that firm featured in Wolf on Wall Street. At any rate, when we were starting out, these sort of tapes floated around Wall Street and Clancy’s were always the best. You’d listen to how he’d close some new accounts and marvel at his control and skill. Listening to it now, as a worldly 41 year old man, I think he sounds like a snake oil salesmen. However, when I was 23, he sounded like a God to me.

BEHOLD, the straight line pitch, supposedly invented at Lehman Brothers.

I got some DUST hedging my other stocks today and thank God I sold out of HUYA and OSTK into the bell, raising a nice chunk of cash. I’ll revisit the tape in a few hours.

This era will be viewed upon on par with the Dark Ages — an era ruled by malevolent and evil corporations trying to turn everyone into docile, to fall in line with their new world order thru the promotion of wanton degeneracy. Brave men, such as Le Fly, stood up to their tyrannical ways and had their libraries burned down as a result. All of our treasures, our culture and knowledge, wiped clean during the SECOND BURNING OF LIBRARY ALEXANDRIA in 2018.

With more than 3,200 ancient scrolls deleted and 26,000 subscribers told to ‘fuck off’, Youtube did this website a great injury by purging our channel. However, thanks to the help of some ancient scroll keepers, I’ve been able to recover a decent amount of video content, including some of “The Fly’s” cartoon series.

If you or anyone else in your neighborhood has any iBC video content on their servers, please email them to me and I will see to it that your name lives forever, affixed to the acquired video content.

See below.

Our new channel is here. I had intended to use this channel as a backup to our larger one — but now I think I’ll just store the ancient scrolls there. Plus anyway, I don’t have time to dick around with video content anymore. “The Fly” is a busy man with plenty of irons in the fire, unlike you.

Email me your ancient scrolls at Flybroker at gmail.com.

Thanks, pal.

As for stocks, we’re indicating -120 and those two faggots who bought my SOXS stand to make some coin today. It’s not that I don’t want them to make any money, but I really not have to think about it. I am sure they’ll pollute these halls today with their genius, describing how stupid I was to buy when I did and sell when I thought necessary. One day someone will teach these lads hard lessons and dislocate their entire jawbones from their heads.

On the plus side, I still own some DUST and gold is getting obliterated down more than 1.2% now — thanks to King Cock’d Dollar, higher by 0.6%.

WTI is +1% and Bitcoins are soaring to the upside.

I enjoy to garden and pretend that I know what I’m doing in the yard. Like most things, I am a pseudo intellectual when it comes to horticulture. I possess just enough knowledge to impress others, make myself look worldly and intelligent — when truth of the matter is I am a giant fucking fraud in the yard.

So I went out there today, in an effort to save ~$400 in landscaping fees, and attempted to hedge my bushes. My yard is about .55 acres, with about 35 trees, and lots of boxwoods (my favorite bush). I’ve been growing them out the past two years, in order to shape them into nice big round balls (no homo).

There I was with my electrical hedger, attached by a giant extension cord (you know where this is going) slicing away like a fucking lunatic — making a mockery of the shape called circle, when viola — I sliced right thru the live wire. Being a pseudo intellectual in electricity too, I cannot say for sure if my life was ever in peril, but I can say that the circuit breaker triggered and the live wire was about an inch away from roasting me to a cinder.

After the scare, I got a new cord and continued to Edward Scissorhand my way thru the yard, pretending to create art, when in fact I was doing nothing but creating a mess and making my landscaping looking like some fucking retard took garden scissors to it in a rage of autism.

Now my hands are literally vibrating from the experience, my boxwoods are oblong, and I’m out my favorite long extension wire, which I usually employ during Xmas decorations.

Here are the top/worst performing sectors in Exodus YTD. Any surprises?

Due to my backward thinking by getting involved in the filthy world of politics, the iBankCoin Youtube channel was targeted, blacklisted, and terminated by the faggots at Youtube. The loss of revenue was small, in comparison to the long, rich, wealth of content that was stored there — all of the hokey early iBC video content, Exodus branded commercials, and my series of Fly cartoons that will forever live in infamy.

While many of you have no fucking idea what I speak of, since you never viewed the content or was around in the early day of iBC — believe me, the content loss is devastating.

However, there’s no sense crying over spilt milk. I am now tasked with the job of producing another iBC video for our product pitch page — since the one there no longer exists.

We’ve upgraded the platform countless times over the past year, as I have invested some change into upgrading and fixing many things in Exodus. Today we added standard deviation to the screener, just a month ago we added Sharpe ration scores for stocks, portfolios, industries, and sectors.

While in the process of creating this new video, I want to ensure that it delivers for the brand of iBC and not some bullshit corporate promotion without character.

If you have ideas, leave them below. If not, go fuck yourselves.

I sold out of my newly acquired HUYA position, accepting small plebeian 5% gains. Normally I’d let this stock run, since it’s a new issue and because I think it goes higher — but I am not in a position to take risks, following getting my SOXS knocked the fuck off.

Additionally, I sold out of my OSTK position for another 5% gain, again not because I think it’s done going higher, but instead of preserve a semblance of my former glory, reminiscing over times when I’d book 100% gains in blockchain related stocks in the halcyon days of 2017.

With the proceeds, I’m going to cash.

If I paid attention to what anyone said during my long and illustrious career as a professional blogger, I’d be dead, in jail, or maybe both. One of the wonderful things about blogging is having dicks read your work and then actively work against it — because in their minds — they’re doing something worthwhile.

Case in point, my recent foray into SOXS. It was a monstrous loss and it happened in the public forum. I was out there in crucifixion position asking for water, yet the commenters of the blog chose to toss popped corn at me and to hope that I’d die instead of opting to help me down. When I escaped the cross by removing the nails with my teeth, these same gents chose to take my place on the cross, in an effort to show me how great it could be up there, a natural tanning salon of sorts, instead of helping me with the gashes and the meat hanging off from what was once my left arm.

But see this is a Burdian’s Ass paradox, and the people now affixed to the cross will soon realize their dilemma. Who are they in fact betting against? Is The Fly even real? Did I ever take a SOXS position, or perhaps I only said I did in order to engender a popular response? Was their decision based upon a logical plane or muddied by the emotional fixation with proving I was wrong twice, first time in and the next time out? Moreover, do they think that I am an evil, black-hearted man, a cloth from their own wardrobe — thinking I want to see them lose too?

A man named Bob drops dead from a deadly dose of purple hammed burger. Phil watched the whole thing and was glad it happened. At the funeral, amidst a caravan of black cars, Phil shows up with a food truck selling nothing but purple hammed burgers. Bob’s mother asks Phil, ‘why come here and sell purple hammed burgers when you know my son died from them?’ Phil responds, ‘because Bob didn’t die from the purple hammed burgers — he died from eating too much.’

Bob’s brother pops his head in the truck and says ‘yeah, but you’re still an asshole, right?’