No Matter What, President’s Xi and Trump Will Be the Bestest of Friends, Also War with ‘Animal Assad’

Okay wake me up from this lucid nightmare.

In spite of the Syrian armies ‘encircling’ Douma, making it inaccessible to anyone else in the world but evil Syrians, Russians and Iranians, AP and other news agencies have been able to freely report from the area — posting pictures of women and children suffering from an apparent gas attack. Because of this fact, Trump says there is going to be a ‘big’ price to pay and even called out his boy Putin for supporting such an animal like Assad.

If President Obama had crossed his stated Red Line In The Sand, the Syrian disaster would have ended long ago! Animal Assad would have been history!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 8, 2018

Many dead, including women and children, in mindless CHEMICAL attack in Syria. Area of atrocity is in lockdown and encircled by Syrian Army, making it completely inaccessible to outside world. President Putin, Russia and Iran are responsible for backing Animal Assad. Big price…

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 8, 2018

….to pay. Open area immediately for medical help and verification. Another humanitarian disaster for no reason whatsoever. SICK!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 8, 2018

Ergo, it appears the deep state takeover of Trump is complete. John ‘Fucking’ Bolton is in — all of Trump’s faggot Alt-right cucks are out. MUH war is imminent — because women and children and ‘Animal Assad.’ Regime change is necessary lads, in order to stop the bloodshed and to stop the gassing.

Meanwhile, multiple sources have reported a tense call between Bibi Netanyahu and Trump, over the decision to remove the 2,000 or so American soldiers from Syria, who have been illegally occupying the country for reasons unbeknownst to me.

But two US officials told The Associated Press on Wednesday the talks grew tense because of Israeli concerns that the United States will withdraw from Syria in the near future and allow its enemies — primarily Iran — to gain a further foothold in a neighboring country through its various proxies.

Officials also said Trump is dramatically scaling back the country’s goals in Syria as he pushes for a quick military withdrawal, abandoning plans to stay long-term to stabilize the country and prevent the Islamic State terror group from re-emerging.

What a coincidence that a gas attack should occur in a Syrian occupied area replete with reporters, just after the President said he was getting out.

Now let’s check in on the official Neocon response.

As in 1940, so in 2018: The effectual truth of "America First" is America impotent.

— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) April 8, 2018

They told me if I didn't vote for Trump our enemies would be emboldened–Assad would continue using chemical weapons, Putin would continue murdering people at home and abroad, and we'd have a president who, after Xi made himself dictator for life, would boast of their friendship.

— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) April 8, 2018

In other news, Trump and Xi will be best friends, in spite of engaging each other in economy ruining trade war.

President Xi and I will always be friends, no matter what happens with our dispute on trade. China will take down its Trade Barriers because it is the right thing to do. Taxes will become Reciprocal & a deal will be made on Intellectual Property. Great future for both countries!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 8, 2018

This is a very simple yes or no question. The reason why I ask if you’re Mongo retarded for being bullish now is because all of the data suggests you are. In fact, the leadership has been racked with losses and the riskiest of equities, best represented by my “Bubble Basket” is now down 12% over the past month and only +2% for the year.

This index was up nearly 20% in the beginning of January.

So what are you fools banking on anyway? The FAANG complex has been destroyed. Semis are finished. Bitcoins done. Banks are a joke. Oil can’t string together more than 3 days of upside. You have no leadership.

Without leaders, the weak and the mentally addled with drift off into the blackness of the oblivion.

This feels like a cross-roads along this long windy narrative.

Will China immediately retaliate and exacerbate the market tumult or wait for cooler heads to prevail and negotiate with Trump?

My bet is for more carnage.

Quant account is 25% GLD/TLT, 20% cash, and the rest long. Downside has been stymied. Active management account is long ERY, FAZ, QID and FXP — with a few longs mixed in.

FULL BEARSHITTER into the weekend panic.

Does anyone actually believe China will not smoke US markets over the weekend with a retaliatory strike across the US farmer’s face? You need to think about the percent of goods being taxed. The last salvo of tariffs by China represented more than 30% of all US exports to China, whereas our taxes only represented 10% of Chinese goods into the US. If Trump was going tit for tat, the next tariffs proposal would be north of $150 billion.

Due to the Asian culture of saving face, there’s a greater chance of XI killing himself over the weekend than him sitting on his hands letting the great orange ape shit on him with a $100 billion slap.

My sense, buyers will try to bid this tape, but will fail. Sunday night will be a massacre, followed by a full blown Monday morning rout.

Because these are my distorted beliefs, rooted in some sort of mental malady of mine, I stepped into the FAZ mobile here for a quick spin.

NOTE: If you read this post and buy stocks anyway, you will die in a fire this weekend.

Let’s calm down a second here and not diminish everything Trump is trying to do here and acknowledge a few empirical facts. Had it not been for US corporations, China would’ve never been able to steal from us and also build up into a great country. While our infrastructure crumbles, they’re befit with state of the art cities and high speed rail that we can only wish to build. So the blame isn’t entirely on the Chinese government, but also the greedy ham and eggers in corporate America who used China to beat quarterly earnings estimates.

Now the chickens are coming home to roost. With over $21 trillion in debt and a horrible trade imbalance, the President seeks better terms. To do that, tariffs have been affixed in an effort to show how serious he is about the issue.

In regards to being in a ‘trade war’, Trump is correct. We lost that war years ago. When you’re buying $550 billion in goods per annum and only selling $140b — that isn’t exactly an even playing field. How could anyone even suggest we’re in a trade war with China — when they don’t buy anything from us?

We are not in a trade war with China, that war was lost many years ago by the foolish, or incompetent, people who represented the U.S. Now we have a Trade Deficit of $500 Billion a year, with Intellectual Property Theft of another $300 Billion. We cannot let this continue!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 4, 2018

Trump on China’s WTO treatment. Again, he is correct. Why are they considered an emerging market?

China, which is a great economic power, is considered a Developing Nation within the World Trade Organization. They therefore get tremendous perks and advantages, especially over the U.S. Does anybody think this is fair. We were badly represented. The WTO is unfair to U.S.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 6, 2018

In a radio interview today, Trump addressed the recent spat and decried the pain would be good for us in the long term. This is advice that I’ve heard people support countless times over the past decade, in regards to the US banking crisis, European sovereign crisis, and all of the other issues that the Fed and other central banks papered over.

Source: The Hill

“I’m not saying there’s not gonna be any pain,” Trump said Friday in an interview with “Bernie & Sid in the Morning” on 77 WABC in New York City.

He also acknowledged the initial reaction from markets is likely to be negative.

They “could lose a little bit,” he said.

“We’re gonna be much stronger for it,” he added later in the interview.

China has responded to the latest round of tariff plans with a statement threatening an all-out trade war.

“We do not want to fight, but we are not afraid to fight a trade war,” China’s Foreign Ministry said in a statement.

Earlier in the week, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said that the president wasn’t worried about the recent market volatility and was instead concerned about “countries that have been taking advantage of us for decades.”

“We may have a little bit of short-term pain, but we’re going to have long-term success,” she told reporters.

Lastly, this is a most enjoyable interview with permanent bear-shitter, Nouriel Roubini. He warns of a full blown trade war, full blown bear market, and further downside in cryptos.

This isn’t a bad downturn yet; but one has hope that it could deepen into something truly dreadful.

As an aside, it appears the CEO of LFIN is a lying SACK OF SHIT. The SEC just got an emergency order to shut his stock sales the fuck down. This sneaky shithead was selling unregistered sales. I hope he rots in prison for 300 years like a god damned oak tree.

The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission obtained an emergency freeze of $27 million in profits from stock sales involving the CEO of cryptocurrency company Longfin and three other affiliated individuals, the agency said in a statement Friday.

Longfin’s stock was halted on the Nasdaq as of 10:01 a.m. ET on the SEC alert after jumping more than 47 percent.

The freeze was to prevent three shareholders from moving money overseas, the SEC said.

“We acted quickly to prevent more than $27 million in alleged illicit trading profits from being transferred out of the country,” Robert Cohen, Chief of the SEC Enforcement Division’s Cyber Unit said in the statement. “Preventing defendants from transferring this money offshore will ensure that these funds remain available as the case continues.”

Amro Izzelden “Andy” Altahawi, Dorababu Penumarthi, and Suresh Tammineedi allegedly sold large blocks of their restricted Longfin shares illegally to the public shortly after the company acquired a “purported” cryptocurrency business and began trading on the Nasdaq, according to the SEC complaint.

The SEC claims Longfin CEO and Chairman Venkat Meenavalli caused the company to issue unregistered shares to the three individuals so they could sell them.

The small company that has attracted controversy over its ties to cryptocurrency, and its CEO said this week that he is not going to sell his shares while he is fighting $1.4 billion in bets against the stock by short-sellers.

“I’m not going to sell [for] the next three years,” Meenavalli said Wednesday on CNBC’s “Fast Money” as he was rigorously questioned about stock sales and inconsistencies about his business

Back to China. As you know, Trump is playing hardball and is going to destroy their country’s trade game. Bear in mind, we’re not the only one’s getting fucked by China. I would expect Europe to eventually follow our lead and get better deals too. In others words, this is the beginning of the end of China.

Nevertheless, they’ve offered a rebuttal. It’s quite funny, actually. They’re liking criminals who just got done burglarizing your home, complaining about you installing a new alarm system.

“We will immediately fight back with a major response,” a Ministry of Commerce representative said during a Chinese-language briefing with reporters Friday in Beijing. “We have no other choice.”

“We feel America is very arrogant. They have taken a wrong action. The result is that they will hurt themselves. If they release the list of $100 billion tariffs, China is prepared. And will not hesitate,” he added.

“We have prepared with a bottom-line mindset and have planned detailed action. We won’t start a war, but if someone does, we will definitely fight back,” the representative said.

The Dow is off by nearly 400. I want more, a lot fucking more.

Are you ready to be massacred?

You GIGANTIC FAGGOTS are going to lose all of you money tomorrow, on news that the President intends to win this trade war — a war that should’ve been waged 20 years ago. This will, undoubtedly, crush in the skulls and the faces of all the financial advisors in America — absolute catamites committed to passive strategies — riding the market’s cock all the way up.

Dow futs are off more than 370, Nasdaq more than 80. China is fucked. Le Fly wins again.

“In light of China’s unfair retaliation, I have instructed the USTR to consider whether $100 billion of additional tariffs would be appropriate under section 301 and, if so, to identify the products upon which to impose such tariffs,” Trump said in a statement.

Say what you want about Trump, but his policies are belligerent and alpha as fuck.

“POTUS is sending a message to China about consequences,” a White House official told CNBC.

Here is the full statement.

Statement from President Donald J. Trump on Additional Proposed Section 301 Remedies

Following a thorough investigation under section 301 of the Trade Act of 1974, the United States Trade Representative (USTR) determined that China has repeatedly engaged in practices to unfairly obtain America’s intellectual property. The practices detailed in the USTR’s investigation have caused concern around the world. China’s illicit trade practices ? ignored for years by Washington ? have destroyed thousands of American factories and millions of American jobs. On April 3, 2018, the USTR announced approximately $50 billion in proposed tariffs on imports from China as an initial means to obtain the elimination of policies and practices identified in the investigation.

Rather than remedy its misconduct, China has chosen to harm our farmers and manufacturers. In light of China’s unfair retaliation, I have instructed the USTR to consider whether $100 billion of additional tariffs would be appropriate under section 301 and, if so, to identify the products upon which to impose such tariffs. I have also instructed the Secretary of Agriculture, with the support of other members of my Cabinet, to use his broad authority to implement a plan to protect our farmers and agricultural interests.

Notwithstanding these actions, the United States is still prepared to have discussions in further support of our commitment to achieving free, fair, and reciprocal trade and to protect the technology and intellectual property of American companies and American people. Trade barriers must be taken down to enhance economic growth in America and around the world. I am committed to enabling American companies and workers to compete on a level playing field around the world, and I will never allow unfair trade practices to undermine American interests.

USTR Robert Lighthizer Statement on the President’s Additional Section 301 Action

“President Trump is proposing an appropriate response to China’s recent threat of new tariffs. After a detailed investigation, USTR found overwhelming evidence that China’s unreasonable actions are harming the U.S. economy. In the light of such evidence, the appropriate response from China should be to change its behavior, as China’s government has pledged to do many times. Economies around the world – including China’s own – would benefit if China would implement policies that truly reward hard work and innovation, rather than continuing its policies that distort the vital high-tech sector.

“Unfortunately, China has chosen to respond thus far with threats to impose unjustified tariffs on billions of dollars in U.S. exports, including our agricultural products. Such measures would undoubtedly cause further harm to American workers, farmers, and businesses. Under these circumstances, the President is right to ask for additional appropriate action to obtain the elimination of the unfair acts, policies, and practices identified in USTR’s report.”

Any additional tariffs proposed will be subject to a similar public comment process as the proposed tariffs announced on April 3, 2018. No tariffs will go into effect until the respective process is complete.

REMINDER: China can’t win.

UPDATE: Prepare to get REKT longFAGwhores.

BREAKING: China's commerce ministry says Beijing will fight U.S. 'at any cost' after Trump proposes $100 billion in new tariffs.

— The Associated Press (@AP) April 6, 2018

Good afternoon lads,

I just got back from my afternoon dog walk of picking up shit and running through the mud. When I returned, I was entreated to a runaway market — up 300. This, as you know, is a bane to my collection of inverse ETFs, by which I am losing fortune from.

DO NOT WORRY

Tomorrow I expect the market to crash again, maybe after a Trump tweet or perhaps some indiscriminate tariff. Plus, the President’s approval rating is now greater than 50%, which means absolutely nothing — but it’s good news for the present status quo — which incidentally changes on a daily basis.

For the day, I was +0.8% in one account and down in another. The degrees of my lossitude is, quite frankly, none of your concern.

Topping off my day, I might parlay these losses into a long drive to and fro karate school, an ill conceived denizen where I like to burn money in exchange for parental duties. Afterwards, I might segue into a restaurant for poorly cooked foods or maybe some more grocery shopping — because one could never buy too much hummus and loaves of bread.

FML

In a flaccid attempt at financial suicide, I bought BB — hoping it would cascade lower — benefitting my inverse ETFs and allowing me to exit them with dignity. Markets are softening here and I’d be lying to you if I wasn’t conflicted about trading against myself, hoping for stocks to crater and burn — just so that I might afford a morsel of food this evening from the profits in my inverse ETFs.

My FXP is higher an QID is nearly flat, so there’s that. Now we need oil to get gobbled up by dick eating gremlins, in just enough time to allow me to exit at a profit in ERY. Why, it was $59 just a day or so ago. How I long for the halcyon days of crisis.

Best case scenario: markets grow a pair of balls into the waning hours and collapse. I mean truly collapse, just so that I could selfishly profit from my inverse ETFs.

What’s on your agenda? Did you do much dog walking and grocery shopping like Le Fly? To think I used to be a burgeoning financial powerhouse, now meekly relegated to a pedestrian, unremarkable, lifestyle of fetching things for others.

Young kids out there: do yourselves a favor and detach yourselves from tradition and go out and build an empire. Take it from Uncle Fly. Trust me, I am a Dr.

Markets are doing so well I just had to buy something. So I went down to my local haberdashery and asked the gent at he countertop what stock he thought was good here. Speaking in a very foreign tongue, he said something to the effect of ‘would you like to buy SIM card?’ From that I extrapolated he was trying to tell me to buy Blackberry — the Canadian cellphone makers — because nothing says ‘SIM card’ like a great Blackberry cellular device.

So I stepped in here — which is especially heartening since the stock has recently plummeted and disappointed so many people, especially Canadians.

Lovely, lovely chart

In a landscape synonymous with wasteland, Canadians are accustomed to coming in third, or not even being mentioned as part of the human race. Often times people forget they exist — because of their irrelevancy and absolute vaudeville way of life (see Newfoundland for proof).

At any rate, I thought I’d share this exciting news with you — me buying BB and all — trying to get into this awesome rally that I’ve missed inside of my FUCKING INVERSE ETFs. Calm down now. I still own a little LEDS and my other quant portfolio, the one that doesn’t get ruined by me, is up 1% today. So that’s good news, right?

Yes it is.

To the moon and beyond. May be Blackberry cellular device company retake all of its lost market share and more, relegating Apple to the shit-heap of time.