iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
17,838 Blog Posts

Markets Plunge — I’m Going Back to Gardening

Fuck this shit. I waited my entire life for this SOXS shit to jump off and the second I sell it two faggots in the comments section buy it and make a fortune? My world wasn’t supposed to be like this. Ergo, I am going back into the dense woods of House Fly with my electric powered chain saw, in order to hedge some more boxwoods. Maybe I’ll make some fucking boxes and octagons out of them.

Meanwhile, I wanted to share this audio clip with you. This is a clip of a man named John Clancy. He was a top producer at Stratton Oakmont, that firm featured in Wolf on Wall Street. At any rate, when we were starting out, these sort of tapes floated around Wall Street and Clancy’s were always the best. You’d listen to how he’d close some new accounts and marvel at his control and skill. Listening to it now, as a worldly 41 year old man, I think he sounds like a snake oil salesmen. However, when I was 23, he sounded like a God to me.

BEHOLD, the straight line pitch, supposedly invented at Lehman Brothers.

I got some DUST hedging my other stocks today and thank God I sold out of HUYA and OSTK into the bell, raising a nice chunk of cash. I’ll revisit the tape in a few hours.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

25 comments

  1. dan dangerdance
    dan dangerdance

    I would like to kick that guy hard in his balls, while he was talking to me.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. wolfdaddy

    I hope that sorry ass yard is a stock photo and not your creation

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. fryguy15

    I should have bought SOXS calls, because the timing was so good.

    Did you finish the Bukowski book yet? I ended up picking up Post Office and finished it this morning. Very entertaining book, but writing is just ok (style is much better than word choice). Still found it witty and funny. Book made me want to skip work today and go for a drink.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      I have Ham on rye on the way.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • fryguy15

        I’m going to jump right into Factotum. For some reason, its hard not to like Henry Chinaski, even though he really is a piece of shit of a man.

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
        • ericbakerbruce

          May I recommend “Hot Water Music”, a short story collection from 1983. Bukowski is at his best here: “I wrapped the towel around my bloody cock and called the doctor’s office.” He makes Henry Miller seem like prude.

          • 0
          • 0
          • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
          • mrcharlie

            I used to live in Cali and my buddy that would handicap horses with his dad and brother growing up would see Chuck out at Santa Anita playin the ponies. Crazy!

            • 0
            • 0
            • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • heckler

        I just read Ham and Rye it’s good

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. infinitezuul

    Followed you in short a couple days after you bought SOXS. Back to even today after getting bled the past few. July exp, so holding for fresh lows.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. dcolella15

    While the persistence was impressive, that was pretty fucking irritating. He would have gotten to hes 3rd “Excuse me Bob” before I just hung up on him and blocked the number.

    good for him though.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. stuckcity

    Pitch was too long. I don’t go passed 1:00. After that, its all rebuttles from there. I’m better than this dude..

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. flyleech

    Fly, Tom Wolf is dead. Somehow, I think you may have met him at one time.
    This from his obit:
    “But as an unabashed contrarian, he was almost as well known for his attire as his satire. He was instantly recognizable as he strolled down Madison Avenue — a tall, slender, blue-eyed, still-boyish-looking man in his spotless three-piece vanilla bespoke suit, pinstriped silk shirt with a starched white high collar, bright handkerchief peeking from his breast pocket, watch on a fob, faux spats and white shoes. Once asked to describe his get-up, Mr. Wolfe replied brightly, “Neo-pretentious.” It was a typically wry response from a writer who found delight in lacerating the pretentiousness of others.”

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. probucks

    Who would stay on the phone for a whole 15 minutes?

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. acehood

    I didn’t actually buy SOXS. Just proving a point that your timing right now fucking sucks on the discretionary side.

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • fryguy15

      What a bitch!

      • 2
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • numbersgame

      Gotta admit, he does have a point on this.

      In other news. chip stock MU, is up 1%.

      I’m pretty convinced that long MU, short QQQ is abet that can’t lose this year. I’ve never seen a big-cap, high-volume tech stock at such a low valaution except during a recession. Sale could get cut in half and the stock still would not be expensive.

      Anybody want to help me out and tell me what I’m missing?

      The only reason i can think that it isn’t higher is becuase it has already risen so much in the past 2 years, except that hasn’t stopped the momentum of other tech stocks.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • jbandy

        I think MU is still considered to be a cyclical stock. Those always look cheap at end of cycle…if that’s where we are in this memory boom.

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
        • numbersgame

          Agree that we could be at the end of a cycle. However, the valuation still seems out of touch.

          MU TTM income: $11B
          MU market cap: $62B

          NVDA TTM income: $3B
          NVDA market cap: $148B

          Of course, NVDA makes processors, while MU makes memory, so the businesses aren’t the same but they are correlated. Even if you assumed that MU’s income would shrink by 35%per year over the next 5 years, while NVDA’s grew by 35% over the next 5 years, you’d still earn more with MU stock for your dollar.

          • 0
          • 0
          • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. jbandy

    Yikes, bad luck on SOXS, but good call on DUST.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. MoonshineDelight
    MoonshineDelight

    Does anyone know how US Tobacco traded after the call?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • numbersgame

      Marketwatch.com has Pre-and Post-market chart for the current day. I think Yahoo Finance has the same chart info for 5 days.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"

Leave a Reply