May you remember these days for the rest of your lives. Right now is the time to grab the bull by the horns and drive it straight into your enemies chest cavities. For the rest of you, lying in the tall grass, waiting for an opportunity to present itself, I hope to dear God you are struck by lightening–at the hands of Zeus himself. Or perhaps a plague might infect the grass you seek comfort in, exposing you for the asshole that you truly are–leaving you awash in misery.
As for everyone else, pretending to be Montauk Bill Ackman, embarrassing yourselves in short positions: you’re better than that. I am sure your parents paid for your college tuition and prodded you to study hard, to become the best damned professional that you could be. Stop playing games and cover your shorts and join the orgy.
There is a god damned cocaine party breaking out and everyone is invited. Failure to adhere to my warnings will lead to catastrophic losses and personal humiliation.