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EMERGENCY ASSHAT OF THE QUARTER AWARD: $GOOG

I’ve had it with these cute technology companies. The energy conservers over at GOOG just shit the shower, with an impromptu earnings catastrophe, which inadvertently was released without top hat. For the love of bankrupt social media venture capitalists, these companies need to be reigned the fuck in. All of these internet companies are run by children. They’re small fools who play with billions of dollars, generally fucking up their investors along the way.

Granted, GOOG has been a long term winner, despite missing EPS by $1.62 with a “Pearl Harbor” style mid-day attack. But how many other asshat corporations have ruined people? Let’s run down the list: ZNGA, GRPN, FB, LOCK, JIVE, OPEN, BCOV, P, NFLX, AWAY, SFLY, ANGI. I could go on.

The new wave of technology is UN-INVESTABLE. Wait until the companies fire their founders and allow adults to manage them.

In case you were wondering, yes, GOOG is receiving an emergency Asshat of the Quarter award. Congrats.

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