God Bless Chinese Fuckery

Thanks to more rumor milling at CNBC, the market is going down again. Actually, as I write this, it is nosediving.

The volatility in SRS is nuts, going from down 70 cents to up $3, in a matter of minutes. Frankly, I have no idea where the market will end up today. Hence, I have both longs and shorts.

However, one this is reliable: Chinese Fuckery.

With the market down nearly 2%, Chinese stocks should not be up, but they are. As you know, aside from a little selling yesterday (25% of my position), FXI is a rather large position of mine.

For me, best case scenario, the market swims in blood, all the while FXI, resiliently, trades up. Also, at the same time, oil, commercial RE knife lower.

Thus far, everything is going according to plan. I am getting dinged on some “global growth plays,” namely TS, MT and BUCY. But, I anticipated weakness in those names, in a bad tape.

At the moment, both CHL and FXI are up, due to Chinese fuckery. Finally I get to profit from such egregious rice throwing activities.

NOTE: With regards to the “bad bank” idea: there is no fucking way Obama is going to pay a 100% premium for toxic assets. Listening to his rhetoric, he sounds more apt to zero out shareholder equity, before bailing out those banking gangsters. We shall see.

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After a healthy dose of cocaine biscuits, Mr. Cobblehead bought lots of stock. He logged onto his bullshit E-Trade account and purchased inordinate amounts of TNA. While doing so, he exclaimed, loudly, “Tits-N-Ass baby, Tits-N-Ass.”

His stupid friends called him up and warned him that the market looked weak. They called him on his blackberry too, warning him of pending doom, with regards to his bullshit 5 figure E-Trade account.

He ignored such warnings with a highly caffeinated “fuck yoooooooooooo,” as he purchased more “Tits-N-Ass,” ripping out offers.

As the market climbed, his buy orders got bigger. With one hand, he was helping himself to a healthy serving of cocaine biscuits, with the other, unfortunately or fortunately, “Tits-N-Ass.”

Mr. Cobblehead’s heart began to race, as the market dropped. The news was extraordinarily “good,” with regards to Q4 GDP. After all, the economy had only slowed by a mere 3.8%. Some of Mr. Cobblehead’s friends said it would mountain cliff dive by 5%.

With this in mind, he bought more on margin, leveraging his account to the maximum allowable amount, effectively putting all of his chips into one stock, “Tits-N-Ass.”

Too be continued…

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Go get your cocaine biscuits and get ready to buy stocks.

If that wasn’t enough, both CVX and XOM beat the estimates.

More on this later.

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Some of you people ask and ponder: “Fly, if you hate CNBC so much, why do you watch it? ”

Well, for one, there is not much of an alternative. But, more importantly, their commentary and rumor mill department moves markets. In my business, information is everything.

Well, CNBC is now reporting the so called “bad bank” idea, floated out there by Fuckhead Steve Leisman, is just a pipe dream. Gasparino is now reporting the Government has no idea how to implement such a program, without bankrupting ALL OF THE BANKS.

Wake the fuck up SEC. Those assholes on CNBC just spread a rumor that jacked bank stocks higher to the tune of 30% in one day. Now, one day later, we find out it was all bullshit?

You have to be fucking kidding me. You— have— to— be— fucking— kidding— me.

I allocated millions of dollars yesterday, based upon some end game for the banks and now I find out, while relaxing with the kids, it was just some crazy eyed story.

They (CNBC) are repeat offenders and legal action should be pressed.

UPDATE: Here is the clip where Charlie throws a wet towel on Leisman’s original bad bank rumor.

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[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ylEnwTtcag&feature=channel_page 450 300]

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Go ahead assholes, tell me you “fucking nailed” this tape. You went long, then short, then long again. At the end of the day, you were up 88.9% and now you are off to do some heroin in a dark alley with a group of hookers.

I throw jelly sandwiches at you.

Look, I am fast, but not matrix fast. I can’t switch from long to short, short to long on a daily basis. The best thing for me to do, during a period of “Bitch of a Whore Trading” is to remain hedged.

Some of you believe being hedged is retarded. However, that’s because you’re a piker and an idiot.

The only moves I made today was sell 25% of my FXI position for a loss, add to my burgeoning DUG position and initiate a TZA position.

At the end of the day, I “enjoyed” next to nil gains, during today’s rape. It pains me to know I “could have” banked some serious coin today, had I refrained from buying longs yesterday.

Instead of bitching and whining about missed opportunities, “The Fly” will go punch a few holes in his bullshit sheet rock walls right now.

Be well.

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Following back to back fuckery, after a multitude of asshatishness, I find myself with equally balanced shorts to longs and no cash.

Basically, the way I am currently constructed, I need commercial RE to get smashed with some tornadoes, energy stocks to get “machine gunned,” while Chinese stocks walk away with a big shiny trophy.

In addition, also, I need select metal stocks to buck the trend. Knowing that this is nearly impossible, I have reduced myself to a gawking spectator, unable to make or lose money in the market, unless something odd happens.

Terrific.

Just prior to this post, I nibbled on a little TZA, just south of $54.60, mainly because I want to increase my bearish stance, ahead of tomorrow’s data. But, in the big scheme of things, it’s like I just added a single mushroom to a big pot of shit soup.

It will have little effect, if any.

So, my only recourse is to pick a side. On one hand, “Barack the Builder” and his tax evading Treasury Chief will work diligently to put condoms in the hands of underage kids, and also try to create a few jobs.

On the other, WE ARE IN A FUCKING DELAFATIONARY VORTEX, EQUAL TO SOME SORT OF FUCKED UP BLACK HOLE IN SOME SORT OF FAR AWAY GALAXY THAT JUST SWALLOWED 10 PLANETS AND 50 MOONS.

What was I thinking, going long with my cash?

Bottom line: I still have year to date gains of about 6%, with very little existing market risk. God willing, I will time the next inflection point perfectly and springboard to double digit gains, yet again.

An XOM miss tomorrow can certainly help my cause. Indeed.

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Don’t worry about what “The Fly” was doing, the last 4 hours. As far as you’re concerned, he was was out dog sledding, throwing jumping jacks at innocent bystanders.

Truth be told, had I sledded past Dennis Kneale, I would throw a few dozen block busters at him.

How the fuck is that idiot still apologizing for the banking executives, for taking 100’s of millions in bonuses, at this stage in the game? I mean, it’s pretty obvious now that those idiots bankrupted the world and have led to the unemployment of about, oh let’s see, 60 million people worldwide.

And yet, Kneale says Wall Street “needs to retain talent.”

When I was young, I was a huge baseball fan. I remember watching a NY Mets game and hearing, Hall of Famer, Ralph Kiner talk about his contract negotiations with his former team, the Pittsburgh Pirates.

He said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “I hit 50 homeruns and want a raise.” The ownership replied “absolutely not. We finished last place with you and will be able to finish last place without you. Good day.”

It’s a rather crude way to look at things; but it is spot on, if I may borrow of phrase from the idiots across the pond.

There is no accountability today. Everyone wants to be a Caesar. All CEO’s feel entitled to live a life of luxury, despite not doing dick for shareholders. Bob Nardelli comes to mind.

Anyway, as for the markets:

I am glad to see GS do the Lord’s work and downgrade XOM. And, I am pleased to see DUG, ERY and SRS move higher, following yesterday’s death match with Obama. However, now I have all sorts of long positions going down. What a mess.

In a market that whipsaws 200 points up then down, on a daily basis, it is next to impossible to trade flawlessly, unless of course you are trading in and out of one position.

One thing to take note of is TBT. I must admit, I am a bit surprised to see TBT run higher so quickly. I would not be chasing it up here, not even with my neighbors money.

To sum up my market position, I am a long term bear on energy and commercial Re stocks. I have not sold any of my SRS, DUG or ERY positions. I refuse.

On the other hand, I will take opportunistic trades in some names, when the voices in my head tell me to buy. Right now, I own CHL, BUCY, FXI, TS and MT, just to name a few.

NOTE: Because my overall bias is bearish, I will keep longs on a very short leash.

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1. Thou shalt not fuck with “The Fly.”

2. If you are not going to update your blog everyday, quit wasting the internets bandwidth and get a fucking diary instead.

3. Be sure to have a modicum of respect for the laws of proper grammar usage.

4. Quit being so fucking boring.

5. Resonate with your target audience, not your own sick, twisted, demented mind.

6. If you operate a small blog, don’t email big blogs asking to “link exchange.” You’re just embarrassing yourself.

7. If you operate a third tier blog (less than 10,000 page views per day), do not bother arguing with superior 1st tier bloggers, for you are irrelevant.

8. Hire an IT guy to design your site. Quit “blogspotting” it.

9. In order to build traffic, be sure to get the attention of larger blogs, so that they will link whore to you.

10. Be original. Quit stealing from people, you fucking faggots.

And so goes The 10 Blog Commandments.

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Original Version

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bSTKx6Vp5g&feature=channel_page 450 300]

iBankCoin Remix Version

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElFHR4qbaa0&feature=channel_page 450 300]

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