iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,545 Blog Posts

Bank Shorts Step into Murderhole

FAZ and FAS are on the verge of swapping places. I’ve been warning you fuckers of such happenings for the better part of 2 whole days. To be honest, not having skin in the game sort of disconnects me from the reality of trading. I’m like some remote control General, 10,000 miles away from the battlefield.

Quit your fucking bellyaching. A. I don’t need the money. B. Whenever I choose to step back into the market, I will own it.

So, pretty much, I am here to throw meatloaf at you fuckers, who are long or short this market.

The declines in SKF, FAZ, SRS and EEV are absolutely hilariously horrid. Do yourself a favor, keep your exposure to those bastards minimal, especially when counter trend trading.

For the record, I think the Federal Reserve’s plan to buy $1trill + in treasuries is a ponzi scheme. It is the Godfather of all ponzi schemes, purposely crafted to manipulate the market, via setting rates. It is NOT the way capitalism works. As a result of their fuckery, I predict the corporate bond market will suffer mightily. And, I believe TLT will go to new highs.

Comments »

Too Much Debt

The Fed just announced a massive expansion of their fucking balance sheet. They are in danger of causing of run on the dollar, as their stupid printing presses run until the ink dries out.

As a result, the dollar is getting murdered. Watch it via UUP. And, treasuries are sprinting higher, as big money flees for safety. The initial market reaction is bullish. However, should treasuries continue to melt up like this, coupled with a crashing dollar, the market will get nailed to a crucifix.

If you are short stock here, beware of a blow off top, as the market presses your pain threshold.

The Fed cannot continue the reckless path of monetizing everything. This is NOT bullish for the markets. Do not be suckered into this rally.

However, if reinflation is the current theme, commodity related stocks may bounce here. The only commodity related stock I am comfortable with here is gold, via GLD or DGP.

Comments »

Beware of the Shit Storm

We are seeing classic examples of short covering today, with a myriad of low quality names running— no sprinting—higher.

Stocks like ETFC, C, BAC, AIG, GGC, RT, BEXP, SEED, BBX, HIG, GNW etc.

Once again, I want to be in cash, while shit is floating to the top, as the country collapses from within. It’s a very dangerous game to play here, considering the circumstances. We are in a depression. Anyone who says otherwise is either too stupid to understand the numbers or Larry Kudlow.

This rally, like all others before it, shall end. It will likely last for another month or even two. However, when it ends, you will regret being born into this bastard of a world.

The gist of this article is to alert you to the fact that low end names are running higher; the market is chockful of degenerate OTB guys. And, furthermore, you need to head for the hills. These are the weak hands invested, who will sell at a drop of a hat. So, as you sit there, watching your 4 figure accounts appreciate, remember to put strict stop losses on your positions, considering the casino-like demeanor of this market.

NOTE: If you bought KIE on my suggestion, consider taking profits here.

Comments »

Stocks Are For the Birds

I must say, I am thrilled to be in cash, not participating in this fuckery. Like I said before, I expect this rally, one way or another, to last until May. It most certainly will last until tax day. You know those government fuckers will try to boost confidence, in order to suck some more money out of your checking accounts.

If I was investing, I would be buying select health care names, like CI and UNH. And, I would be building short positions in HME, ACC, WRi and MAC. In other words, I’d be setting up pair trades.

In addition, I think shorting a little oil here makes sense, since we are still in a deflationary vortex. Then, I’d nibble at names with rich balance sheets, like TTWO or AAPL.

One thing you fucktards need to understand and hear this well: “The Fly” doesn’t need to be invested at all times, since he is not addled with spastic retard syndrome and has enough gains, year to date, to placate all parties involved.

I’ll be back to tossing you fucking faggots into active freeways sometime next week.

Comments »

The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me, part 2

I could not find a salaried job, so I had to make due with being a piker stockbroker, getting paid 100% by way of commissions. The only problem: I only had a handful of clients and the market was knifing lower daily.

Despite being a destitute poor guy, I had a little money in the market. A few years prior, using all of my savings (6k), I bought stock in a company called America Online, ticker AMER. I needed money desperately; but I was adamant about keeping AMER, for it was my lottery ticket.

I began cold calling a corporate directory. Actually, I was obsessed with opening new accounts with partners of this prestigious firm. I worked long hours and was buying one stock for almost all of my clients: Beyond.com, ticker BYND. I didn’t know much about the market back then. However, I did get a sense that the LTCM induced sell off was about to end. After all, the internet was brand fucking new and everyone was ecstatic over the potential growth prospects.

Nonetheless, times were tough for me at home. I remember going 3 months without making any money. And, when I did get a pay check, it was so small, it hardly covered my monthly nut, which was only $1,200, including rent ($400), food and travel. At work, I didn’t eat lunch, because I could not afford it. And, I didn’t dry clean my shirts; because, well, that shit was expensive. Instead, my wife washed and ironed them at home. I had two suits, both were purchased immediately after I passed the series 7 examination. I thought, like most new brokers in the business, I was going to make a million dollars, right away.

The summer of ’98 was a long arduous time, for me, and most people in the business. I started to experiment with margin, since my assets were bullshit and my clients believed in my internet stock strategy. Aside from BYND, I was buying SEEK, GCTY, AMER, CMGI, and all of the fun, high growth, albeit death spiraling stocks.

I cannot remember exactly what the catalyst was, maybe a special Alan Greenspan interest rate cut; but the market bottomed in the fall of ’98 and never looked back. My position in BYND, inside of a week, went from $8 to $14. SEEK went from $18 to $30. I could not believe my eyes. I had accounts, fully levered into the teeth of the decline, all of a sudden explode to the upside. One small account, which had been beaten up badly, went from $3,000 to $12,000 in a single day. That same account, eventually, went to $90,000.

My largest account, at the time, was about $250,000. That too, within a week, exploded higher— to north of $400,000.

Basically, I got lucky. I was positioned at the right place at the right time. My new clients thought I was some fucking oracle, nailing one trade after another. I remember going on a 20 out of 20 streak. As a matter of fact, I still have some of my old book pages, where I’d log my trades, to prove it.

At my firm, I became the “go to guy” for hot stock tips. I knew the internet sector inside and out, like no one else, and always knew which stock would take off next. I bought At Home, ticker ATHM, before anyone else heard about them, and enjoyed a 200% run inside of a few short months.

I played them all, from YHOO to AMZN to BCST.

Within 6 months of being told to “throw in the towel,” I was doing $45-50k in monthly production. The money came so fast and furious, frankly, I didn’t know what to do with it. First and foremost, I paid off the $25k in credit card debt that I built up. Then, I bought myself a few nice suits a respectable pair of shoes and a $3,000 watch.

Soon enough, I was given an office at my firm. I was more than happy to leave the boardroom, where pikers talked shit and old men slept. I had big plans. One of them entailed seeking revenge on a certain former asshole sales managers. Trust me when I tell you, in no way was I grateful for getting shit canned, immediately following my Grandfathers death.

To be continued…

Part 1

Part 3

Comments »

Early Cycle Melt Up?

Head fake or not, people are buying into the resurrection of the consumer theory.

Via PPT, top ranked retail names, all ranked “buy” or higher.

HOTT, JOSB, ROST, CTR, BKE, SSI, ARO, NWY, WTSLA, URBN, GES, DBRN, DSW, CACH, KSS, AMZN, LQDT, CONN, BBY, RSH, RSC, HGG, NKE, COH, WWW, VLCM, DECK, TBL, KSWS, SHOO, PSMT, FDO, DLTR, BJ, FRED, NFLX, PETM, BKS, TSCO, UGP, JAS, KIRK, LL, WFMI, TIF, HIBB, BGFV.

Choose one.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cnzstOtW2k 450 300]

Comments »

Dubliners – Seven drunken nights 1968

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKc4fwyYpHo&feature=PlayList&p=0335E943565EEA39&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=3 450 300]

Comments »

Get Drunk. Buy Stocks

Despite not taking advantage of this melt up, being in a 100% cash position, I am livid with joy, seeing the bears get tossed into dirty canals. Let the bulls have their fun, particularly on the most holiest of days: St. Patrick’s Day aka “Beer Day.”

Truth be told, “The Fly” is decked out in green, ready for a healthy serving of beer, with a side order of corned beef and cabbage. Remember, I am 100% cash and you are nothing. You are out there, like a homo in a Texas gun club meeting, trying to game the market, using stupid charts and shit.

I, on the other hand, am in possession of vast quantities of cash, laughing at you bozos, while drinking beer and other egregious beverages of men and brawn.

Truth be told, I needed this hiatus from the fucking market, after dealing with the emotional roller coaster for 18 months straight. When I roll back into my positions, write it down, I will fucking nail whatever trade I endeavor to partake in.

Time to get drunk.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jujqyVez2jw 450 300]

Comments »

Leprechaun Raped

People are getting drunk and buying stocks again. It looks like the bulls are pressing the envelope here, making life difficult for the bears. As a result, expect to see first class short squeezes.

Look for names with high short interest per share ratios. Match them up with decent technicals; then BAM, start cutting off some fucking bear heads.

Despite Dr. Death visiting AA and NUE, UYM is almost flat for the day. That’s amazing. If I was into buying stocks and shit, I’d buy UYM, Ci, UNH and maybe a little KIE. However, I’d do so in small numbers, considering this market is one bad press release away from a down 500 day.

Keep in mind, people want the market to go higher. Spring is here; the smell of money is in the air. Can you smell it?

Answer: Of course you cannot. Fucking pikers.

Comments »

The Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me, part 1

My Grandfather died and I was distraught with grief. I took 5 days off from work, mourning the loss of Grandpa Fly, a young stockbroker at a bullshit firm. I had been there for about 6 months and my production numbers sucked moose cock, approximately 3-5k per month.

So, after taking a week off from work, I returned to the office and began packing my shit. I knew that taking a week off, no matter what the excuse, would get me fired. Lo and behold, like clockwork, shortly after I was finished packing my stuff, the sales manager called me into his office.

He was a burly Irish man, short on talent, long on work ethic. He was the type of person who always seemed jovial; yet at the same time, everyone knew he’d stick a knife in your back if given the chance. Also, he was known for hiring young reps, only to fire them shortly thereafter, in order to take their books. A regular fuckface, if I might be so bold.

Anyway, I sat down in his office and he said: “Fly, just throw in the towel.” I just sort of looked at him, all cow eyed and shit. He furthered: “This business is not for you. You can make more money as a dishwasher or paper boy. Just hang it up.”

Still depressed over the loss of my Grandfather, coupled with the fact that I was poor as fuck, meekly, I agreed and handed over my book (prior to entering his office, he asked me to bring in my book), without an argument.

Planning ahead, I had secured a place of employment at a small NYSE member firm, where a good friend of mine worked. He allowed me to share an office with him. However, upon transferring over, the market was so bad, due to the LTCM bullshit, hardly any of my clients followed me to the new firm. As a matter of fact, only 3 clients had the balls to come with me.

A few months passed and the market was in idiotic full crisis mode. I was young and overzealous and could not fathom what the fuck was going on. It was surreal. My work hours were consistent, 8am to 11pm. I worked like a fucking slave, often times slacking on the sales front in order to sponge information from the bloomberg terminal. I was an information junky, always reading, studying my trade.

Shortly before the LTCM crisis ended, the owners of the firm asked me to ” go work in the boardroom,” since I was undeserving of an office. They were right and I hated them for it.

By that time, despite being in the business for little more than 1 year, I was burnt out. I spent a week or two looking for a salaried job. My interviews were egregious, mainly because I really hated myself for failing and it showed. I wore it on my sleeve. The fact that I was being forced to find alternative employment, due to early set backs, ate me up inside. Needless to say, because of my poor interviewing skills, I was unable to land discount house gigs, or anything else for that matter. I had a new baby at home and I was living off of credit cards, in stupid basement apartment, Brooklyn, NY. My back was up against the wall.

I went back to work.

Almost immediately after “throwing in the towel” (again), in search for “steady employment,” my life changed for the better.

To be continued…

Part 2

Part 3

Comments »