18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,309 Blog Posts

Bank Stocks are for Losers

Using Cramer’s logic, seeing the old momentum stocks bust caps in the bears, one could make the argument that “late cycle” plays are being bought—due to the end of the arduous recession of 2008.

Some of my old positions are blasting higher, such as [[RIMM]], [[AAPL]], [[RS]], even [[MVIS]]. On the other hand, all of the coveted “early cycle” plays are being beat up and stripped of their lunch money, such as [[SCA]], [[MTG]], [[FHN]], even [[AXP]].

Back on earth, us humans who do not like to gamble with money say “fuck the banks,” as we drink florescent green soda from diamond encrusted chalices.

Ag stocks are very strong, as wheat and other food commodities press higher. Should wheat stay “retardo high,” I want to be short [[PZZA]] and [[DPZ]], due to their inability to pass along cost. [[DBA]] and [[JJA]] are excellent ways to play the boom in food commodities.

Pizzeria’s are fucking doomed.

Finally, I will use this rally in [[RIMM]] to sell. And, I will take advantage of the spikes in [[FCX]] and [[MON]] to buy more [[SMN]].

NOTE: Eric “the oil barrel” Bolling is on Wallstrip today. Special bonus: He says all you global warming believers are asshats. Good stuff.

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Supreme Asshat of the Week Award: Cramer

I know, it’s too easy to pick on the hyper-active bald guy on tv. After all, it’s a tough racket; not many can muster the energy to wear all of his fucking hats. Unless, of course, you snorted an eight ball of coke off of your Red Bull can, every morning, before coffee.

However, I should let you know, Jim is well deserving of severe criticism for his constant fucktarded market calls, while pounding his chest—like a spastic King Kong.

For example: Three weeks ago, Cramer was calling for the end of the stock market, as we know it. Shit, things were so bad, he said we could drop 2,000 points in a single day. Talk about alarmism.

However, immediately following Bernanke’s rate cuts, the once hated Fed in “Cramerica” became a “friend,” enabling Jim to say we were going straight up and shit, “without any pullbacks.”

My favorite “Cramerism” is his recent story about foreign bankers in a bidding war for the worthless assets of [[BSC]]. Shoot, that comment right there deserves immediate asshat awards, no matter how low supply is.

Finally, he’s already discounting the recession, before it happens, suggesting his viewers pile into “early cycle plays”—such as banks, brokers and retail. Then, upon a dip, he tells people to expect these stocks to trade lower?!?!

As you know, I could go on and on—forever. I mean, just today, he pounded the monkey drums on retail, following today’s short covering rally. Anyone who reads his blog, on realmoney.com, knows he contradicts himself three to four times per day.

Sometimes, on special days, he reverses positions within an hour or two—making my realmoney.com subscription entirely worthwhile, yet meaningless

Hence, Cramer gets a “Supreme Asshat of the Week Award.” Take it bro, and run with it.


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What Happened to the Tech Safe Haven?

Just a few months ago, the sub 100 IQ’ers on CNBC told the unwashed (you), “tech is a safe haven. This time it’s different.”

Fifty percent lower, they all concede being wrong, in a big way.

In short, aside from select drugs and utilities, there are no safe havens in bear markets.

As you know, “The Fly” is quite pleased with the current order of things. His portfolio’s are rich, his Monster Energy soda supplies are plentiful and his staff of “illegal Mexcians” are jubilant over “Señor McCain’s” big win.

Typically, I would spend inordinate amounts of time, scouring the market for good stock picks. However, ever since the bear market has befallen us, I have no need to do such asshattery, since everything trades lower in a convoy.

In closing, expect more bad news to inflict severe blows to the small men who buy stocks.

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Fly Buy: SMN

I bought 1,000 [[SMN]] @ $44.75.

Disclaimer: If you buy SMN because of this post, your favorite baseball player will be traded to the Mets or Yankees for a few minor leaguers. And, you may lose money.

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Classic Reversal, part II

Well, that was fun. The intra-day reversal is over. May lower prices infect your portfolio’s.

As you know, our banking system is a complete mess. We have fiat currency, jerkoff CEO’s and an alarming lack of liquidity.

In other words, we may get spikes along the way to 11,000 DOW. However, every single spike should be faded, due to the longer term trend, which is down.

I understand the temptation to “catch a bottom” and make buckets of coin, effectively allowing you to replace your bullshit Staples chair for a real one. The problem you will have, each and everyday, is headline risk.

Being a bull is like being pinned down in a WWI trench, as 50 mm machine guns buzz past your ears. Before going long, just know, that asshole with the 50 mm gun is aiming for your head and will continue to give you bad news.

Aside from that, our politicians are hell bent on raising taxes, while socializing healthcare.

Should the cap gains tax be raised to 28% or higher, kiss your 401k plans goodbye.

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Fly Sell: LEH

I sold short 2,500 [[LEH]] @ $61.

Disclaimer: If you sell short LEH because of this post, your portfolio will follow the dollar to zero. Odd, no?

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Classic Reversal

Everyone thought the market was going lower; so it spiked higher. Frankly, I’m not a bit surprised and welcome a fucking huge rally, in order to redouble my shorts.

Thus far, I am looking to sell more [[LEH]] above $60.

The reversal in [[CSCO]] is very impressive, which tells me there is significant support in the low 20’s. However, the headwind of a weak CSCO will hurt many other companies who are dependent on them, such as [[NETL]] or [[BRCM]].

Being short the semiconductors, via [[SSG]], is not a bad idea.

On the long side, I like the reversal in [[RIMM]] and stubborn action of [[BWLD]]. Wouldn’t that be something if BWLD smoked numbers?

Finally, the banks have support at these levels. I would not add to [[SKF]] above $100. Let it come in.

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Retest the Lows

When I was long, I’d hate when people would say “we need to retest the lows.” However, now that I’m bearish, I welcome such fucktarded commentary.

In all fairness, the recent low was nothing more than a blip, due to the fact that we reversed hard off of it. We need to sit at those lows and wallow—causing immense stress and angst amongst asshole dip buyers like Dennis Kneale.

Currently, this is that way I’m playing the downside:

[[SKF]] [[FXP]] [[REW]] [[SMN]] [[TWM]] [[EFU]] [[DCR]] [[DUG]]

Short [[LEH]]

Short [[DECK]]

Short [[EWG]]

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