18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,146 Blog Posts

Retail Sales Non-Existent

We just booked the worst retail sales since the recession of 2002.

Very nice.

Aside from that, [[CHL]] and [[AAPL]] have officially ended discussions, essentially assuring the iPhone will not be sold in China. On that news, [[FXP]] is shooting higher in premarket trade, as CHL swan dives.

And finally, [[C]] only lost 10 billion and change, while cutting the dividend. However, investors are keen to their stupid games and are dumping shares in the premarket.

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China Not Interested in Citi

The good news is, there is still dumb money in the middle east to float their [[C]] boat. The bad news is, China is no longer interested in investing in Western banks.

Hmmm, I wonder why?

While Chinese investment groups have bought big stakes in Wall Street firms like Bear Stearns and Morgan Stanley, the scuttled deal suggests there may be limits on how much the Chinese government is willing to invest in the Western banking system. The exact reasons for the breakdown are unclear, and it is possible the two sides may return to the negotiating table.

It’s a disgrace that we have been reduced to third world status, while they’re the rich fuckers.

Reverse roles and shit.

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Enjoy the Bounce—For it Will Be Short Lived

With today’s move up, I lost 0.10%. Gee, I wonder how I will recover from such carnage.

Please help.

Without doubt, the [[IBM]] news was exactly what the bulls needed. The shorts ran for cover, while natural buyers stepped into ag, hard.

Aside from ag, other commodity related names were hot, particularly in basic resources.

With financials about to lose a fresh round of billions, I am contemplating bulking up my [[SKF]] position.

Frankly, the only thing that will change my bearish sentiment is blowout numbers, amongst the retailers.

I don’t care about tech, ag, energy or industrials—just retail. The economic health of Joey Bag-o-Donuts is vital for this markets recovery. Without him, we’re just running on fumes, waiting to get car jacked, then rolled on with our own vehicles.

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This is NOT the Bottom

I sit here amazed at the fucktards who are calling a bottom in the market.

Get this, since 1970, after going lower in January, the market has averaged a loss of 11.5%. If we bottom here, it would represent the smallest decline EVER, in the month of January.

Fuck that.

With gold rocketing higher, financials shitting the bed and the consumer in the septic tank, there is no reason, aside from a short squeeze, to go long stocks.

Use this rally to reduce your long exposure. Otherwise, before you know it, we are diving, hitting the lows again, and you’re over there crying like a little bitch.

Today, I will do nothing. My largest short position, via [[FXP]], is up. Therefore, there is no need for me to add to the position.

If anything, I may sell [[LEH]] short, again.


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I must say, that fucker “Sierra Water,” prominently featured at the top of this months leaderboard, has been knocking the cover off the ball. Thus far, he has recommended [[COIN]], [[SEED]], [[FEED]] and [[GRO]]. All of them have killed shorts, while enriching the gambling longs.

It’s worth noting, Green Writer, who has also been on fire, brought SEED to the table first, in the low 7’s.

As for today’s trading:

Before my meetings, the market was showing signs of fatigue, with key stocks losing momentum. However, looking at shit now, I am impressed with the staying power of the bulls. Apparently, they do not read history and are doomed to repeat it.

Anyway, the financials are still getting the “knife to the gut” treatment, with losses in [[NFI]], [[DSL]], [[FCFC]], [[PMI]] and [[FMD]].

Also, within retail, [[HAR]], [[TIF]], [[SHLD]], [[RL]], [[NILE]] and [[COH]] scream economic hardship.

On the upside, I like the bounces in the beaten down semi’s, specifically, [[SNDK]], [[NVDA]] and [[WFR]].

The only sector with real buying interest is Agriculture. Right now, [[FEED]], [[COIN]], [[GRO]], [[NOEC]], [[ARTW]], [[TNH]], [[CNH]], [[POT]], [[LNN]], [[AG]], [[MOS]], [[SYT]], [[CF]], [[MON]], [[DE]], [[ADM]], [[AGU]] and [[BG]] are exploding—dot com style.

Frankly, everything besides Ag is just dead cat bouncing. At the moment, Ag has all the momentum.

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Citi to Writedown 24 Bill/Market Set to Surge

In retardo land, when your biggest bank is being rumored to have lost 24 billion big ones, betting on degenerate lotto tickets, stock futures go up.

Of course, there is a “ton of good news,” mainly circled around the [[IBM]] chuck wagon. Then, we have other “good news” out of [[SHLD]], fucking itself again, getting ready to dive down another 10 spot.

What’s another 10 spot between friends? After all, aren’t we all friends with Cramer’s buddy/pal/money manager Eddy Lampert, CEO of SHLD?

Considering the severe oversold condition of the market, investors are piling into this “good news” environment, scared to miss out on some important sea change & shit.

With my currency, I’d rather buy cheap whores and vodka, than try to hitch a fucked ride on the “guess who will lose 15 billion plus tomorrow” shit train.

Aside from that, [[AAPL]] looks ripe for a bounce, going into Macworld.

NOTE: Today is Lindsay’s last day hosting Wallstrip. She did a great job hosting the show. I wish her the best. The new host will be Julia Alexander. Another win for Howard and those CBS fuckers.

UPDATE: I have meetings to attend. However, before I leave, I’m calling this bounce dead. Sell it twice and buy some [[FXP]], if that’s your style. [[CHL]] cannot get a deal signed with AAPL. They’re all assholes at CHL.

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How Much Lower Will We Go?

Most of you aren’t worth the ketchup on my meatloaf. Keep in mind, when I say “most,” I mean professional money managers, alongside pedestrian gaytraders.

Anyway, the zillion dollar question (not to be outdone by low-end trillion dollar questions) is: How low will we go?

I can tell you this, very simply: When the markets dip in January, they DO NOT recover right away.

Also, it’s worth noting, the fucktarded theory that states ” the market always goes higher in January,” enabling investors to celebrate by “sparking blunts,” is a misnomer.

As a matter of fact, thus far, during the 21st century, January has been an abysmal month for longs.

One thing is almost a certainty, based upon past Dow Jones performance data: when the market starts the year firing automatic rounds at bulls, it fucking dives.

Dating back to 1970, the market has endured some pretty fucked “January effects.” Take a look:

What you low ranked wrestlers know is “the market is getting killed.” However, what you don’t know, we are going significantly lower. Not because the average dip, based upon bad market starts over a 38 year stretch, is -11.5%.


In my opinion, the economic troubles that we face today are unprecedented and deserve a “special decline.”

Keeping in mind past occurrences and utilizing time machine data, I say the DOW will get clipped to the tune of 13% by April, with hardly any real rallies or bounces. That’s almost 3x the current decline.

Do you think this is pain? You’ve not seen anything yet.

The game plan is simple: get short.

NOTE: This is your last warning.

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