iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,376 Blog Posts

Rally or Die

None of you bozos can hold a candle to “The Fly.” Look at my positions in WNR, ISRG and GLW and understand you are not in the same league as me. I’m over here, putting some money to work in some macro etf’s, but tentative, since GE is in the process of death spiraling to zero.

Watch GE and let it be your tell. All of the ingredients for a monster rally are present, minus our largest corporation on the verge of clownish failure. How stupid is this?

As you know, especially my cooler friends on PPT, I have an extensive list of stocks, ready for purchase. Should that fucker GE go green today, Senor Tropicana is allocating another 30% of his assets to longs. If GE continues to slide, well then, I might just take my ball and go home—eliminating most of my positions and raising my cash levels to over 90%.

In short, we are at the crossroads. Watch closely.

UPDATE:
Due to GE slide, I halted all new buys.

UPDATE II: Due to GE‘s cocksucking weakness, I booked profits in WNR and GLW, selling at $12+ and $10.50+ respectively. My cash position is now north of 80%. My only shorts are in REW and DRR. And, moreover, my longs are in JRJC, ISRG, TNA and CY.

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THE ULTIMATE BOTTOM!

There was bullish news out of China last night. Frankly, it serves no use repeating it, since it’s a fucking lie. Nonetheless, expect Chinese related and basic resources names to sprint higher.

I am sick of keeping my balls in a box underneath my desk. I am prepared to allocate as much as 50% of capital to long positions, in an effort to bulk up on current longs or add new ones.

I will not initiate any longs in financials, no matter how tempting it is.

Bottom line: We should enjoy a signficant rally today. Let’s see if the assholes who trade stocks have the balls to stick a pen knife in the eyes of some bears today.

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GET GORILLA GRENADE’D

You Sir are an idiot. You walk around with your sack of banana’s and expect me to wear the monkey mask?

I will not.

Ever since the days of assholish SOUTHERN AGGRESSION, “The Fly” has been fighting for financial justice (The Fly was a money manager in all previous lives), via reading the tea leaves and eating them when done. It has come to my attention that the market is “on sale” and looks “cheap” from a “historical vantage point.” This message was relayed to me while on line at my local Whole Foods.

Thank the Lord for paper bags and organic oatmeal; I do not know what I would do without them.

As for your portfolio: Expect the government to have a hand, if you will, in furthering its demise. Let it be known, President Obama is to Wall Street what the Black Death was to Europe, circa 1348.

For electing him (not like we had a choice), all of you will get “GORILLA GRENADE’D.” I mean that in the colloquial sense, of course, as in “losing massive amounts of coin in rapid fashion.”

My current long positions are very, very stupid and I may need to sell them all, else risk losing a quick 5-10% of assets. Considering I am just 20% invested on the long side, my fears of “de-ballment” are rather grim. Nevertheless, since everyone’s demeanor is so macabre now, I am hoping the market will bounce and soon.

If not, “The Fly” shall resign himself to not giving a fuck, yet again, and kicking ugly/fat people in their stomachs, while shorting their retirement accounts to zero.

Indeud!

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1oveKiOMZg&feature=related 450 300]

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Robsterless Market

The rolling disaster known as the Obama administration has fueled the fires of uncertainty, amidst a full economic collapse. You may live to tell your children about the days of The Great Economic Collapse of 2009, but the market won’t.

Everything you know about finance is useless. All of your stupid charts and asinine spreadsheets are better served lining the floors of your local garbage trucks, instead of being put to use in this market.

If you are serious about surviving this period of tumult, I strongly suggest that you heed the warnings and listen to the prodigious advice of “The Fly” aka Senor Tropicana–nd do so with great vigor.

So you know, I have open longs in TNA, WNR, CY, JRJC, GLW and ISRG. However, aside from 3% of my assets short, I have nearly 80% of my book in cash.

We are too low to short and too fucked to buy.

Trade accordingly.

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Fly Buy: ISRG

I bought 2,000 ISRG @ $88.20.

Disclaimer: If you buy ISRG because of this post, someone will throw paint on your brand new mink coat. And, you may lose money.

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No Rally Without GE

Let’s not play games, shall we not? There will be no rally with GE in the penalty death box. There are all sorts of reasons to sell this market. However, none are as compelling as a GE failure.

On a very private level, I think the share price of GE is bewitched by demon sorcerers, who endeavor to see the end of America, via financial collapse. In the meantime, we must deal with trading ranges and other stupid things, prior to the ultimate “mushroom clouding” of American society.

Believe it or not, I executed zero trades today. As you know, I am mostly cash, so the daily fluctuations of the market are not of great concern to me. Sometime soon, I will sell out of the remainder of my SDS and DUG positions. I will keep my CPT short.

My longs consist of GLW, JRJC, WNR, CY and TNA.

In short, I expect to have my balls boxed around in any longs, until GE firms up and stops acting like it’s going out of business. My top recommendation: raise lots of cash and sit this fucker out.

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Asshat of the Month Award: January

Yes I know, we are 1 month behind. It’s rather fashionable to be delinquent you know.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDzvduOheTs&feature=channel_page 450 300]

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