18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,329 Blog Posts

Long Time Coming: America Burns

I’ll try hard not to virtue signal about the events of last night. I was transfixed by the widespread riots, just like everyone else. I catalogued them on my Twitter account for 8 hours straight. Feel free to peruse those videos to get a taste of what America’s largest cities felt last night.

America has been a tinder box for as long as I’ve known her, vast income inequality, poorly trained law enforcement officers, lack of inspirational leadership, obvious fuckery in DC for decades supporting wars for the purpose of death and profit. The events of last night, on the surface, looks like a response to the murder of George Floyd — but that was merely the proverbial straw that broke the camels back and now with the levies broken — wanton criminality and discord are permitted freely to raze America without reproach, save NYPD, and it’s happening during the very worst time in American history — financially speaking.

Watching malls burn and neighborhoods reduced to ash, I couldn’t help but to think they’d never be rebuilt. Municipalities are already broke. Government cannot keep tapping debt markets and/or creating funny money to support this rigged system of profligate spending — the verisimilitude of success.

For two months America has been in lockdown — forced to adhere to the strictest social distancing rules in her history. Jobs were lost. Government sent out checks to placate the citizenry and encouraged obedience. Austere rules were respected and people ZOOM’d one another instead of enjoying each others presence. And then the country exploded — forgot all of that — and mobbed in the streets by the thousands — conveniently donning their COVID-19 masks to shield them from conviction for the crimes they committed in the name of injustice. The irony is rich with absurdity and we shouldn’t just discard the events of last night as “more left wing discord” financed by Soros. There is a sickness in the country, a melancholy sadness that is at the root of all this. We’ve bore witness to interminable acts of violence the past decade, and as horrible as it is to see a shopping mall looted and burned, it’s preferable to a crowd of concert goers being mowed down by a lunatic perched above with a machine gun in Vegas.

And still…markets will likely gap higher on Monday — based off some newly minted stimulus scheme to help cities rebuild.

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NO FEAR AGAIN! Markets Roar

A quick rundown of the news flow from today.

Hong Kong special treatment being nuked.

On all of this shit, Nasdaq ran from negative values to +120. Any questions? It’s a hard thing to believe in the tooth fairy — but that’s exactly what I am telling you to do. There is a fairy and she will visit you whenever you have a tooth for sale and she will give you thousands of dollars per tooth, or more. I bought a bunch of shit earlier this afternoon and have been busy building StockLabs for the people.

You can monitor our progress on our Twitter account.

Sign up for beta trial here.

Or buy a fucking mug or other MERCH here.

I am a man of many things, different to all people, both dynamic and static at the same time — consistent yet evolving. My best trading advice to you is to stop trading and join us inside Exodus, where you can sit down for $2 per day and eat all of the fish your greedy hearts could possibly desire.


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Ok, Maybe Fear A Little Bit

There are days in the market when everything seems clear and simple. Other times I have no idea what I’m doing and I realize this and trade small in order to prevent myself from exploding. The past week, in spite of my grandiose winning streak, has been mostly luck. I bought some stocks, closed my eyes, and Mother Market did the rest. The past two days, however, we’ve been seeing wide divergences between small caps and the overall market. Right now the Dow is off by 200, Nasdaq only 10 — but the Russell is off by another 1.5% on top of yesterdays -2.5%.

Small caps are owned by weak hands and they are getting flushed the fuck out. We all know the issues with the economy and how this entire rally has been one giant fever dream. So the second I start to see some momentum to the downside, I am immediately on the look out for afternoon rapes. We might find ourselves accosted, severely, by sellers this afternoon.

Presently, many of my PIECE OF SHIT positions are higher, incredulously — more luck involved there. I do have a HANKERING for gold and sense the fear building up slowly as the tide recedes and the swimmers of this rally are revealed to be hideously deformed monsters with mangled bodies and faces.

WE ARE ON THE LOOKOUT for bowling balls rolling downhill towards us at all times. I haven’t seen enough to get net short again. But honestly, I really want to see it soon.

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Markets Reverse Lower — Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself

When markets geek out like they did today, I like to disconnect myself from the main stream and dive headlong into pools filled with blue water. While your DIS got its face lit on fire, the niche areas of the market were lit. I made enough money to buy your house 10 times over today.

Here were today’s fish.

RNWK +31%
RIOT +5.4%
OTLK +8%
SGMS +3.8%

I can’t help it if I win all the time. It’s just the way I was built. 55% cash into the close, ready to buy all morning dips — no fucks ever given. I guarantee you a 10%+ winner by morning.

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As the Final Hour of Trade Nears, There is Only One Thing to Do Now

Listen to me, stocks will go down after they’ve exhausted the upside and enough people get rigged into fucked positions. You look at me and must wonder ‘how the fuck does he buy those stocks — they suck?” Look here bucko, I have 50%+ cash most of the time and each position is more or less 5% of my holdings. I can afford blowups. My gains YTD are off the fucking charts. I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve been trading superb for about 5 months straight, nothing ordinary about it at all.

I used to wait a week for a 10% winner, now it’s all in a days work.


The Russell is still down 13.5% for the year. That’s a big amount and could equate to further upside for a number of stocks. As much as we HATE this rally and what it stands for, disconnect yourselves from the reality of the situation and treat it no differently from a night in Vegas.

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The Show Continues

I kicked out RNWK this morning for an overnight +31% profit. I know — boring that I come here to talk shit. Deal with it. I also sold RIOT for +5.4% — upping cash to about 70%. Markets only go up now, which makes me reticent of intra day RAPES. It’s best to hold off on the 10am purchases for a bit in order to see if this market wants to sell off first.

I am now 25 for my last 28. Full disclosure.

EB +7%
SOXS +1.5% x3
VTIQ +9.2%
MARK +5.5%
RVLV +7.6%
ZFGN +24.4%
ZIOP +4.1%
SONO +1.8%
HTBX +9.7%
ORGS +3.6%
LK +16.1%
SPCE +6.1%
(FAZ -9.4%) x2
X +4.5%
GNC +12%
MARK +17.6%

SIG +9.1%
NYMT +2.8%
RUBI +2%
FRSX +9%
AMC +6.4%
BZUN -wash
(TLRY -11.4%)
RNWK +31%
RIOT +5.4%

How’d I do it? Pffff — fucking magic that’s how. All it took was some balls, sane position sizing to spread out my bets, and a good sense when to sell. I cannot teach you these things — once again. Just sit back and enjoy the clown-show.

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Didn’t I warn you before? You are not smarter than everyone else. You cannot time the top. Quit trying to be a hero by making outrageous trades and fall in line. The problem with most people is generational poverty, coupled with aspirational thinking. You all want MOAR, fame, success, WHORES — drugs etc. You do not want to work hard, but smart. You think you’re smart because you’ve achieved a modicum of success and now you think you can parlay that ‘it factor” into trading — because the world is your oyster and your eyes do not deceive you.


The answer to your ideas is always WRONG.

No more ideas. No more schemes. Away with your biases. FALL IN LINE and shut the fuck up.

I closed out the session 65% cash, 35% wanton degeneracy.

I am 23 for my last 26, with 6 positions on the books now — positioned for further profit. I have achieved these results, not because I am better or smarter, but because I am compliant and I’ve adapted to the market — humbled myself into neutrality, and traded with the winds.

Market was up 550, Nasdaq more than 70, erasing a 190 point deficit.


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BEHOLD: Another Grande Winning Streak Approaches

Shut the fuck up.

Here were my fish from yesterday.

X +4.5%
GNC +12%
MARK +17.6%
SIG +9.1%
NYMT +2.8%
RUBI +2%
FRSX +9%
AMC +6.4%
BZUN -wash

All of those fish on top of the previous days fish place me 23 for my last 25, my only loss being FAZ x2. Stock picking game is on point and of course 100% fire. You can go into the kitchen yourself and try to whip up something to eat. Or, you can sit down and eat the fish you are served. The choice is yours.

Market reversal looks nasty, both tech and oil in the dumps — black candles everywhere. I am 90% cash.

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Not Fearful of Buying Into COLLAPSE

I am closing out my day 45% cash, the rest long a sundry of low brow momentum stocks. This portfolio I’ve concocted deserves to the whipped across the gibbet. But I am not afraid. Nothing can stop me and my gains are ordained by God himself. There is nothing in the way of MOAR and greatness is something all of us can claim title to and enjoy the fruits of no labor.

The market is showing some weakness in tech late day — BUT FEAR NOT — because everything else is fine. If you are selling short here, you are all but guaranteed to be made into a fool. Everything you learned in school and at your firm is meaningless now. Present market conditions only value the power of MOAR. Do you understand what I am saying to you?

The summer climes are here again and gentry of the south do not wear masks and cough on one another because only God can grant COVID-19 to people, not blue state FAGLORDS. Plus anyway, we all know CORONAHOAX and how all of the sick died from other ailments. They are all crisis actors, paid by GEORGE SOROS, who is merely creating GLOBAL DEPRESSION just to elect Joe Biden.

I wish I had more insightful things to say, other than “just rest easy and sloppily and buy shit stocks” but that’s exactly what I prescribe you do now.


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Thank You Mr. Trump For This Great Big Beautiful Stock Market

It looked a little dire a few weeks back. But then Trump got our his whip and slashed Powell across the back with it and made him reduce rates and buy it all. Heck, they even own Hertz bonds now in bankruptcy. This is the new normal people — nonstop incessant feverish melt ups in between periods of rest designed to lure in FOOLS back into the fold for expeditious annihilation.

You can point your crooked fingers at a lot of things done wrong by Trump. He’s mainly crazy, but for the market — crazy is in fact good. I have no doubt in my mind his megalomanic personality has gifted us 10,000 Dow points. By summer of 2016, we were BARRELING lower without seatbelts. Now look at us, fully erect and ready to blow thru record highs amidst 40% unemployment.

For the balance of my day, I intend to unwind my hedge and get long some real degenerate shit for an overnight ripper.

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