18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,791 Blog Posts

Feeling Like a Genius in This Here Bulled Up Market

At one point I rattled off 13 consecutive successful trades today. You have to understand something, I am and always will be the best trader you’ll ever meet. I am mostly infallible and hard to beat down for any period longer than a few weeks. I adapt to any tape in any decade in any trend in any country in any emotional state. I’ve traded while enraged, elated, content, enraptured, depressed, sullen, and boisterous. I’d consider my mood now to be very excellent, feeling as if I could, if I wanted to, punch holes through solid concrete.

I’ve been at the gym again lifting heavy weights and drinking nothing but whey — washed down with some Celsius Energy soda pop.

I closed the session +168bps in fantastic trading — fully free from any shackles I had previous encumbered myself with and with strong intent to aim for very high returns. I sense, if being honest, now is the time to press the envelope. We have the bears laid out with their guts hanging out the side. All we have to do is pull up a chair and eat them alive!

All trades broadcasted live inside Stocklabs. If you’re retarded and can’t make money, join.

NOTE: If you want to get a feel for the platform, C2 does retarded updates on our channel.

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The Russell is up nearly 3%, leaving entrails and a path of blood strewn with the remains of short sellers in its path. It was over before it started and now it’s just getting worse for them.

I advise you strongly to cover shorts now and BEHOLD the GRANDE DICKED RALLY of 2023.

It doesn’t have to make sense. Quit being so logical.

As for me, I am KEENLY positioned in and out of these IWM type stocks, Chinese burritos and the like. I am +120bps with 82% cash, deploying cash tactfully and with honor and grace.

Presently I am long BTC, GDRX and FUTU.

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Just Back From Walking of the Dogs

I was trading from my dog walk — selling stocks ripping higher whilst dodging out from the way of the Mexican lawnmowers. I see the market is rallying like a great whore today and this suits me just fine. I’m up 65bps and have 66.6% cash — because I too like to play games with numbers.

I added to my Bitcoin today — because fuck the US govt. I finished reading Camille by Dumas last night and truly hate him for writing such a sad novel. It was excellent — but very sad — like WTF sad. I’ll probably sober up to a Hemingway book next. I’m also listening to Grant by Chernow and the more I listen the more I hate Grant — what an alcoholic piece of shit.

On the war front, it appears the Ukrainians broke their own dam and blamed Russia for it. I see a lot of people tossing around the words “war crimes” when referring to this war. I’d like to remind you there is no such thing as specific war crimes. War itself is a crime. Ergo, when partaking in war there are varying degrees of severity but all is a crime. Do you mean to say, for example, the fire bombing of Dresden which targeted civilians is less of a ‘war crime’ or even in the same league with busting of a dam in an area mostly evacuated? I think not. The whole scheme is coming to a head soon. You can sense the desperation of the NATO homos attempting to paint rainbow nazi flags onto willing sacrifices in the UKR army.

Back to stocks: still bullish.

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Chopped Up and Spit Out

In this blog, I’ll attempt to make a number of excuses for today’s poor trading performance.

I was awoken last night to a sick dog, my coyote, who decided to vomit on my rugs. I then had to take her for a walk at 2am. It was my responsibility because Mrs. Fly is already in nightwear and it’s ok for me to appear outside in robe and slippers because my odious visage cannot scare the neighbors anymore than it already does.

I was then entreated to a 6am dog walk and finally 9:30am — right at the market open. By this time I was fortunate to enjoy the company of Mrs. Fly who was properly showered and made up, perfumed, and very well rested.

When I got back I was informed my youngest son wasn’t feeling well and asked, or rather informed, that Grandmother Fly would like her morning coffee. I chose the slow pour over method for maximum flavour.

Mid afternoon following a watering of my garden, I was then informed that the vomitted rug had not been properly cleaned and asked if I might see to it. Mrs. Fly doesn’t really like to lift heavy things or get her hands dirty, especially since she just got her nails done. Already down for the session, I agreed and lugged the steamer upstairs to clean it. On my way up, she reminded me that “last time you didn’t clean the steamer of the dirty water.” I just called her a “liar” and went about my business.

This is unusual behavior for me now. In my younger years I would’ve thrown a fit over most of these happenings. But as life drags on and you get tired of conflict, you learn to internalize most disagreements because what exactly will I achieve by informing another person who will never change that “I AM OF COURSE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD NEVER ATTEMPT TO INFORM ME OTHERWISE.”

So see I was distracted and that’s why I lost 110bps for the session. Perhaps tomorrow I will be free to look at the market without having to worry about dog shit/vomit and instead of eating a morsel of crackers and dry tuna — I might enjoy a proper meal — a meal perhaps designed for a space alien magician (SAM) who reigns imperial in the stocked market and who bowls on his foes who attempt to derail him in between running inane chores about the house.

No, but seriously, marriage is fantastic. I highly recommend it.

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Summer of SAAS?

We all want to know why tech is leading on the way higher, and not the beloved oils and copper. Maybe because inflation is dead and the nerds are firmly back in control, in spite of what you believe. As crazy as it seems, the tech rally has even made a believer out of me — adding to ENPH in my kids’ trust accounts with AMZN on deck.

The past month has resulted in only tech outperforming led by NVDA — thanks to AI.

It’s the next big thing, after all. AI is gonna make the world a better place!

I am often tricked into very bullish tapes near the top and that’s because I am Mr. Momentum. But do not worry, for my overall miserable demeanor protects me from falling too far in love with trends and quickly helps me hate stronger and with greater fury than the previous times — helping me to sell short and save the day.

BUT, for now — I am warming to this whole rally thing and want to believe. I am pretty sure I like the lies and fantasy world we all live in and hope to die before the fantasy is ended.

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A General Update on House Fly

One of my two dogs had me up all night, vomiting and needing to liquid shit all over the neighborhood park. It was fun raising my kids from the tender age of 21, forgoing a life, then to become a parent to two dogs that prefer to lick their butts all day — rather than read a good novel. Incidentally, none of my children like to read either. In addition, since we returned from our grande trip to the olde continent, two out of 3 of my children have been plagued with a stomach virus. I think one got it from airline fare and the other perhaps the country club hamburger special.

It’s all very enjoyable.

My Mother in law, all of a sudden, after knowing her for 28 years can’t stand me. My wife says it isn’t true — but it seems the idea of sitting next to me or me helping her with anything is blasphemous. These things happen and I suppose I have this effect on people.

On brighter news, I have finally solved the dirty grout in the kitchen issue. If you didn’t know, I am somewhat of a fanatic when it comes to cleaning the kitchen tiles and have gone through innumerable remedies to get the fucking grout clean. My previous fix was bleach oxygen. However, after using it I sometimes felt a little ill. LO AND BEHOLD, all I had to do was have it steam cleaned and doubled sealed. Maintenance should include only light soap water and wipe. Now some of you reading this must either be thinking “what a moron” or “cool trick.” But you have to accept this when I tell you, I didn’t know.

The Russian war is apparently heating up with slews of Ukrainian men being tossed into enemy fortifications without air support. Any idea how fucked up this is? I often wonder about the war and if the average Ukrainian knows what awaits them once the GLOBOHOMO officially occupies their nation after a potential Russian defeat? Since I do not believe nukes actually exist, I am not in the camp that the end of times will come should Russia lose. Armies get routed all the time and it all depends on how anxious a general is to spend his soldiers to determine the outcome of a conflict. Neither side seems capable of winning, so we are stuck in a quagmire with Ukraine wholly dependent on the US to supply it with enough weapons to maintain a stalemate. At some point, however, the Ukrainians will run out of troops — just like the south did in the Civil War.

As for stocks: still bullish.

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I won’t bother to offer human sentimentality, but today will simply show you what the very intelligent Stocklabs machines are saying about this market.

We are now OVERBOUGHT on our 3 month algorithm, which is the most sensitive of our algos. While I prefer to look upon the 12 mo as a stronger signal — in recent months we’ve gotten zero of them. In its place, as the market adjusted to new realities, the 3 mo has been crushing.


What the fuck does this mean?

We rank stocks on a 1 to 5 scale for both fundamentals, by reading balance sheets and earnings reports, and technicals. The aggregate score is tallied for all stocks and with those scores we produce mean reversion algorithms, in this case the band is stretched far and wide towards OB. Now being overbought doesn’t always mean we’re due to go lower. In many previous instances the OB was the most bullish of signals — because it meant, as a fact, that stocks were strong.

The last time we were OB was Jan 2023, when a series of a dozen plus signals popped off to start the year. Note we only count the first signal in our stats per 10 trading sessions.

The OB kicked off a serious rally in stocks that steamrolled shorts.

The current stats over the past year show just 5 signals at this elevated algorithmic level — but that doesn’t mean there was just two signal. As I mentioned before, we only count 1 signal per 10 days.  On the hybrid score, we have progressed higher 4 out of 5 times when elevated up here.  If you look back in this post at the algo chart, you will also notice the oversold working too on the 3 month.

Bottom line: We are extremely bullish and leveraged +118% long here, confident and comfortable in the AI to invest with a carefree demeanor and possess a candor that is both obnoxious and gratifying to the person in possession of such advanced toolz.

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You thought The Fly was finished but then out of nowhere — BAM! — he punches off your eyebrows.

I am getting too old for this shit — but I will once again remind you of my victorious nature — +320bps for the session. Not only that, I actually closed LEVERAGED LONG at +117% equity without a hedge. It appears the retail investor is back and spending is on fire. It also appears the FOMC and Jim Biden have managed the economy with space alien magician authority. We seem to be, if I might say so, barreling towards growth — in spite of all of the headwinds.

How does this happen?

Simple. The marginal guy isn’t important in the big scheme of things. The wealth up top is so extreme, so dramatic, 20% of the workforce can get fired and LULU will still beat earnings thanks to Yoga moms and faggots (happy pride month).

My gains are +35% for the year and I am trading freely again without the constraints of the quant. For those belly laughing at my shit talking in light of me yesterday being suicidal due to losses — FUCK OFF.

In all seriousness, I really do deserve more. Think about how nice of a person I am and the charity which I provide to people and then compound that over my entire lifespan to date and really think about my +35% in the larger context of earned success. Look at me blogging to myself and a few stragglers from 2009, 3 times per day, every day, since 2007: that my friends is commitment on par with insanity. I could be doing other things, much more profitably — but I choose to come out here and toil day in and day out.

Also, inside Stocklabs, I provide members with white gloved service — the epitome of generosity and kindness.

At any rate, time for me to fuck off and play some pickled ball with some vodka in the sports container.

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Yesterday’s foray into pain caused me great anguish, as the Gods toyed with me to let me know they were still in charge. But today is a different story entirely. As many of you languish and struggle against the current, “The Fly” is speed boating fastidiously and throwing rocks at the people on the shore — hoping to hit one in the head at the same time one of my stocks halts trading for upside surprise activity.

I stand before you vindicated, +300bps.

I have many irons in the fire and I am certain you think you do too; but you don’t, believe me.

Life is like an oyster. Some of us produce pearls of wisdom and others simply get sucked out of his shell and into the mouths of some loser in Long Island — washed down with swill.

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Exercising Futility

This is your daily reminder that 7 stocks making up $8 trillion in market capitalization has returned 75% YTD and is the preferred investment mode over any hedge fund in the world.

I destroyed myself today and knew it would happen. I had one chance at reversing my plight and instead of seizing upon the moment, I felt entitled and got greedy and was annihilated into the close. The market crested at session highs at the very moment I bought my last stock. I closed DOWN 2.14% for the day. Disgusted with myself, I kept every single position and opted not to flip out of them to remind myself of my abject stupidity. I will undoubtedly awaken to another DOWN 2% at the open and then take the entire month attempting to get back to 0%.

OR, I can just buy FANNGT stocks and fuck off forever.

So what exactly happened today?

Well, it’s simple. I capitulated with my SQQQ position near session highs and this event caused an avalanche of sellers to get aggressive into the close. Knowing I was fully leveraged long, these sellers targeted my stocks and drilled them lower.

Unbeknownst to them, I don’t give a fuck. The entire account can zero out and I wouldn’t give a shit. I’ll never remove the money from the market, so it’ll have no bearing on my already spartan lifestyle.

After the close one of my positions, MDB, beat and is soaring. Big fucking deal.




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