iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,528 Blog Posts

Goldman Upgrades $MU; “The Fly” Wins Again

I bought MU on Friday afternoon while driving around like a fool in my car. Everyday I buy 1 stock for an overnight hold. The way it works is, I buy the stock lower and then sell it higher the next day. Those are the rules and no matter how much I might like the stock, I am forced to sell. For those of you bellyaching about churn and selling great stocks like MU, quit your fucking blabbering. Those are the rules.

This morning I sold MU for a 2.07% overnight hold. No big deal. On Friday, I sold CRWD for a +17% overnight hold. Before that, I traded APRN for +10.5% intra-day hold. And NUGT for +3.8%. I can go on and on. Really, not a big deal. This is my job. You know how some people go to work and pick up trash or tell funny jokes in front of live audiences? Well my job is to buy stocks lower and then sell them higher. The shorter the time period the better. This is what puts the caviar on thew table.

Should you be jealous of Le Fly for making this look so easy?

Answer: Yes, but you can mitigate that jealously by swimming along with him — like the chum fish next to great white sharks, by joining Exodus and shadowing his every move.

Is there more stock picks like this coming, an annualized +523% winner like MU?

Answer: You can bet your fucking balls there are.

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GOLD BUGS UNITE; TIME TO SHINE BRO

You don’t have to be ashamed to be a pathetic gold bug anymore. The dollar is being denigrated and gold is breaking noses to the upside and no one can stop it. You will hear via CNBC that ‘gold is for stupid fucking morons’ and that the only people who buy gold are ‘completely stupid and also assholes’; but let those people suck on your fumes as you rocketship into outerspace on your new lambo.

The next time someone tells you to sell your gold, you tell them to die in a fire — because now is the time to shine. Gold bugs have waited 7 long years, as stockFAGS got rich and fat. Even Bitcoin bros made some lambo money, all the while gold bugs hid in their dirt holes waiting for an opportune to scatter about for food.

I’m 20% weighted gold miners into tomorrow, dick swinging real low, gorilla balls the size of watermelons. I’d say ‘no fucks given’, but that’s sort of lame and played out. I’m into high octane, alpha trades, things that other people are scared of because fuck that.

Futures are soft tonight and everything else is a non-event. But tomorrow will be more of the same, grandiloquent madness towards new highs.

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Damn This Heat Wave

It’s really hot as fuck out here. I am stuck here preparing my move down south and not where I should be this time of year, in Newport, RI enjoying some champagne and the wide ocean views. This landlocked life is somewhat of a bummer. I could venture off to the beach and bake my skin until I get cancer, but it’s too hot for that shit.

Breakfast consists of a croissant and coffee. My diet has been complete shit in recent months and my exercises routine non-existent. I’m not exactly a ‘barrel-ass’ per se, but I need better conditioning — since I seem to break out in a sweat during minimal yard work.

Over the next month I expect my life to be sheet torturous hell. And this isn’t me complaining or whining. I gleefully accept this hell, as I am accustomed to adversity. One of my main questions floating around in my head is whether or not I should ‘risk it’ and drive my damaged engine Gl450 down to NC — an 8 hr sojourn in favor of a leased vehicle? This is classic gambler Fly trying to win when he should be losing. If I break down in the middle of nowhere, that would suck. But if I made it, that would show all of those stupid mechanics how stupid they all are. If I leased a car, I’d have to then return it after I got down there and that’s a pain. The logical thing to do is transport the car to a mechanic ahead of time, lease a car, and then pick up my car all fixed and ready to go. That’s probably what’ll do.

Not much going on on this lazy Sunday, other than Instagram fixing to ban likes on the platform, in order to ‘de-pressurize’ the platform. I have just about the worst content on IG and hardly anyone likes me shit — because it’s stupid and pointless. But I get why kids feel pressured to get likes — such a stupid thing to worry about in a world designed to kill you in so many ways. That was grim.

Go read a book, listen to some Al Bowlly, and make yourselves a Mojito and fuck off.

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On This Saturday In the Midst of Summer, I Grant Thee Gifts

Hot fucking day out there, believe me. So hot, it makes me want to send airplanes into Iran for purposes of bombing.

I realize ever since I stopped posting my FREE SUPREME ACE stock ideas here, many of you have gotten downtrodden and quite frankly depressed. Before you Cobain yourselves, rejoice in FREE GIFTS FROM Exodus.

Why does anyone need an algorithmically based system like Exodus? To save time and make money, morons. Instead of sifting thru charts like an imbecile from 1997, I do that work inside of seconds using our ranking system.

Top fucking stocks, top fucking industries.

That’s where the juice is, so get with the program. All included in the wonderful Exodus platform is The Pelican Room — a place and a time where Le Fly communicates with his underlings and insults them FREE OF CHARGE, and also pals around by offering FREE EGG RECIPES, how to cook like a proper gentleman, and random Hemingway quotes and the life and times of a certain F. Scott Fitzgerald. All of these things, and much much more, in addition to my Godly fucking stock picks, are given FOR FREE inside Exodus for a small fee.

On the agenda today: drinks and meats on the grill. Fuck going out and fuck driving.

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Oil Sucks, War With Iran or Not

*** QUIT BEING A FUCKING PIKER. JOIN THE LEAGUE OF DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMEN IN Exodus TODAY ***

Need I remind you that oil does not perform well during this time of year again?

Seasonality stats for oil exploration sucks this time of year. Keep note.

And here are the bullshit headlines. It seems Iran seized a British oil tanker or two. Didn’t they try to seize one a week ago and failed? What in the fuck do they think they’re doing out there? Crazy Trump is liable to unleash aircraft carrier onto their cities. Perhaps that’s the point — lure us into another war and get BOGGED down into it?

Jeremy Hunt “extremely concerned” after Iran seizes two British-owned oil tankers

One of the ships, which was Liberian-flagged, was allowed to continue its voyage

Iran’s state TV claims the vessel it is holding had turned its tracker off

UK Foreign Office has said it is urgently seeking further information

I was out all fucking day and haven’t had a chance to do anything. I have a headache and I don’t want to look at the fucking steering wheel for the rest of the day. I just want to drink some rum and listen to good music and tell people to fuck off.

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See Pal, This Is Who I Am and You’re Nothing

I just blew out of my CRWD position that I bought before the close yesterday for a +16.9% return. If you’d take your calculators out, you’d learn that I made 4,283% on an annualized basis. I know what you’re thinking: “Fly, how the heck can I annualize that return; that’s sheer madness.”

Fuck you, annualize it. I take out an overnight trade each and every day. My track record is astounding, quite frankly. Just the other day I kicked out of a day trade in APRN for +10.7%. This is easy for me, like mowing the grass — yard work that even a child could do. Some people have a difficult time peddling their bicycles or throwing a baseball, but not me. I can ride my bike without hands and throw a fastball at 95mph. See pal, that’s who I am.

What happens next — where do we go from here?

Stay tuned?

PS: How’s that gold/silver trade working out? Oh yeah, nailed that too.

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Let Me School You On Why Gold is the Truth

All jokes aside, the Fed is cutting rates into a smoking hot economy. This deviation is going to cause ripples in inflation, and not that bullshit crypto shit. With the perception of higher inflation, you should expect assets that protect against it to boom. The gold miners are trading at valuations not conducive with bull markets. The sector is trading in the ballpark of 1.5x sales. Back in 2006, it was trading 6x.

Does it means the miners can run 5x from here?

Answer: Yes

Your job is to make money, not have a bias. Gold is where it’s at, busting loose from a 6 year base. It cannot be defeated, as long as the Fed is leaning towards cutting rates.

You’re also gonna want to get long some value stocks — because lower rates is good for valuation expansion amongst shit companies that depend on financing to keep the lights on. My top distressed pick in all this, believe it or not, is GE.

Long a basket of high octane gold stocks — head out of the window with my middle finger up. Fuck off.

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Bitcoin to the Moon, Gold is the Truth, House Fly in Ruins, and Much Much More

Last night I was cavorting throughout the manor, enjoying a nice glass of cappuccino. The high ceilings permitted the orchestral music to permeate and echo throughout the halls — instilling a calming presence throughout the house — a bit haunting with the lights dimmed. Then all of a sudden, a lunatic storm approached out of nowhere, lightening and thunder with tornado styled winds — fucking up my yard in menacing fashion. I gazed out to survey the damage, but it was too dark and I didn’t want to walk around with all of those fucking trees swinging their dicks around.

This morning, as I sipped upon my cup of black coffee, I bore witness to a horrible specter. One of my fucking ash trees was completely destroyed and a 50ft limb snapped from the main part of the tree — crashing into my woodshed and completely destroying part of the fence 20 ft behind it. To make matters inexorably worse, House Fly is due for inspection tomorrow, which means I need to haul ass and get someone to remove the tree today, fix my fucking fence, and the woodshed, before the new owners start to think they’ve moved into a hazardous locale.

It could be me thinking all of this, but something inside of me thinks this fucking house has a vendetta against me. It has been twisting its knife inside of my guts for the better part of 7 years. I’ve dealt with all of its machinations, like the true gentleman that I am. But this shit, this fucking tree, is the final straw.

On the matter of stocks vs bonds, choose gold. Us in the gold trade, professional gold traders, know and understand that FIAT CASH is shit. Soon you will able to buy falafel sandwiches with gold coins. Also, Bitcoin is rattling higher today. Nothing can stop that animal from cresting the fuck higher. I dare you to stand in front of it.

Net net, for most people today is a boring day. That’s because you have no idea what you’re doing. For those of us in the gold trade, we’re living the life and getting ready for LAMBO TIME.

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BOOM: Extracted More $$$ From the Gold Trade

This is what sophisticated gold traders do. We have some longer term holds, and also short term. You know — for the pocket cash, the hooker and adderall money.

I bought NUGT before the close yesterday, a trade talked about in real time in Exodus and not here where the homeless vagrants beg for slices of pizza — and I sold it here for a +3.8% gain.

See, that’s how this works. Buy low, sell high. Rinse and repeat.

Try to keep up.

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A China Trade Deal Could Happen At Any Moment

There’s good news everywhere I turn. Last night NFLX missed because their programming sucks. Today, more than 50 American companies are moving out of China due to the trade war.

Is that a real headline? Probably not. They keep telling me all of this trade war business is really fucking bad for the economy, yet stocks are at record highs. So how can that be? If I was just this dumb animal and went purely off instinct, I’d think Trump was the greatest President in American history and having trade wars equalled more food in my stomach. The more war the better. Now you’re telling me 50 companies will move production out of China. How is that bad news? That’s good news, isn’t it?

Stocks can’t go down, even if they tried. Most of my stocks are flat today, just sitting around, waiting for something interesting to happen. One of you bitches in the comments section had the audacity to say I jinxed the gold trade with last night’s post.

Listen to me. I am a fucking Master Ace gold trader. Don’t you ever step to me with outrageous claims. I have profits coming out of my fucking ears with profitable gold trades. What have you done? Exactly.

Gold and silver will do what I tell it to do: King Precious here — you can call me that from now on.

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