iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,689 Blog Posts

GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE

Gobble gobble

Gob gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gob, gobble, gobble gobble gobble; gobble gob gobble gobble.

Gobble.

Gobble.

Gobble.

Gob gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gob, gobble, gobble gobble gobble; gobble gob gobble gobble. Gob gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gob, gobble, gobble gobble gobble; gobble gob gobble gobbleGob gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gob, gobble, gobble gobble gobble; gobble gob gobble gobble. Gob gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gob, gobble, gobble gobble gobble; gobble gob gobble gobble. Gob gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gob, gobble, gobble gobble gobble; gobble gob gobble gobble. Gob gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gob, gobble, gobble gobble gobble; gobble gob gobble gobble.

INDEUD!

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Markets Ease into National Festival — MOAR Gains Ahead

Do not misconstrue this morning’s parlay as weakness. The market is doing what it always does after a hearty meal: digest. The underpinnings of a hair on fire rally are still present, so don’t go anywhere.

I have deployed some extra cash into the market place, once again barreling towards growth — eschewing the value proposition that I was so keen about last week like it was some sort of crumb at the edge of a table.

It looks like Chinese Burritos, SPACs, and stay at home plays are lighting up the momo screens today, in addition to ancillary crypto stocks.

Thinking ahead to the all important Black Friday, yours truly offers you a NEW MUG — apply special coupon code RIGGED for a most generous discount.

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DOW SHATTERS 30,000, AS THE MOST BUBBELICIOUS BUBBLE OF ALL TIME CONTINUES TO INFLATE

I closed the session +336bps and I cannot take credit for it. The market is on auto-pilot to outperspace now, where the painting is surreal and the scenery all fake. As we cascade and fall towards it — I imagine a blackhole will appear at some point, a gravity crushing void, and annihilate us for good. I’ve always taken a fatalistic view on things, perhaps as a defense mechanism from being melancholy.

Some people walk the black dog and wallow somberly with it. I tend to take a more violent approach and view everything in decay and it saves me from the doldrums. I can never truly be happy — because there’s too much to do and too many things needing repair.

These are the best of times and I feel like I’ve written that before. We are in a continuous melt-up and it’s eternal, something to behold and savor because when this deck of cards collapses…you’re all gonna be in the streets swimming in your own feces.

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Let Me Explain to You the Type of Person that I am

I woke up this morning and most leisurely, with extreme equanimity, sold out of the following stocks for profit.

NKLA +16.6%, AMC +16.6%, NBAC +11.1%,PEIX+10.9%,EH +9%, SABR + 7.9%, RMG +5.2%

I then made myself some coffee and toast, a bit of brioche, and have been listening to classical music, whilst reading a book, ever since. In between refilling my mug, I casually glanced upon the oils and said to myself “I am an oil man”, so I bought SLCA. I just sold SLCA for a 6.6% profit.

Life is easy as a stock investor. I create nothing, but merely transfer money from someone else’s brokerage and into mine, very fast and very clean. I don’t punch clocks and I most certainly do not have a boss. I swing as far as my dick will permit and if it weren’t for the fact that I have kids and an aversion to ruin, I’d be a fucking degenerate. But I’m not, just like a dog isn’t an underwater mammal, or how women aren’t funny at stand up.

Into National Festival, now with the Dow above 30k, a MOST SACRED NUMBER according to our leader, I want to trade small but smart. I want to be tactical, but mechanical. I want to win, whilst also enjoying being the underdog. Trading well requires a delicate balance, in all things. One must have a certain disposition to do this effectively, which is why I profess most of you shouldn’t even try it.

You could live 1,000 lifetimes and never be as good as me, so why bother? Eat the fish that I provide and live well and comfortably under the bosom of House Fly.

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DEPRAVITY INTO THANKSGIVING

This is it, fuckers. The moment you’ve all been waiting for. We are going to make so much money from now util Friday, you’ll be punching people in the face for looking at you sideways in no time.

I made 260bps today, on a day when the Nasdaq was barely up 20. Scores of low market cap crap ROARED higher, led by EV sector lighting up 10% for the day. This is complete fuckery and I am glad to be part of it.

Into the bell my top picks are NBAC, PEIX and a mix between NKLA and AMC. I love movie theaters without movies and can really see potential for COVID hospices or homeless shelters to take up some of the valuable AMC space.

Off to tennis.

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The Current Bubble, Dare I Say, is WORSE THAN the Dot Coms

We’re at the point in the narrative when stocks like BLNK aren’t leading anymore — because BLNKW are. The SPACs are on fire today — because who’s gonna make the next meaningless “EV” purchase to fail in head to head competition against Tesla?

Moreover, and this goes without saying, the current logic of the tape is bullish for both oil and alternative energy — because nothing say rip roaring oil markets like eliminating the need for crude. On day 1, Biden will ban drilling in the Arctic. On this news, oil drillers are soaring. Look at RIG.

Also, solar plays are all the rage — because MUH POWER PLANTS use devilish blackened coal that clog the skies with ugly fumes and cause the sun to rage its fires into the wooded lands of California. Once we have enough windmills going, the hurricanes will stop wiping out poorly placed geological islands in the Caribbean.

There’s so much to love and hate about this market — I could go on for days discussing the idiosyncrasies and how betting against them have might’ve led one down a path of VINSANITY. Dare I say, stocks are much worse of a bubble today than in 2000. In 2000, we had a brand new invention to jerk off behind — the internet. It was going to make us all into big fat rich men — puffing cigar smoke into the beta-cuck faces of the brick and mortar guys. Nowadays, people think Go-Karts will replace SUVs — an entirely different subspecies thinking — small brained and also retarded.

Nevertheless, I remain a humble servant of the markets and continue to drag my large balls into this muck to partake in a little chicanery, now and then and always.

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LOOK AT ME

Outrageous returns this morning, especially for yours truly. I booked a 16% gain in RIOT, 11% in WKHS and 5-6% gains in several others. Overall, I’m higher by 200bps and we’re just getting started. Big dicked moves in Biden plays, electric cars, windmills, and fucking solar panels — all shooting higher like the estrogen in the men who voted for him. No offense to the nuMale. I have love for all of you, especially if you’re a member of Exodus.

The big story is cryptos, massive upside moves over the weekend. I tried to convince my daughter to buy some ETH — but she flatly told me “Ether is a scam.”

But the scam is now the truth and that narrative is making people rich. Ether touching down on $600, BTC approaching $19k means people are flush with gains and the momentum is back in a very big way. This move wasn’t coupled with videos of morons and their lambos — but a slow and steady crawl leading to a full breakout and affirmation of hypo-bullish trends. I still think ETH should be bought every month for the next two years. I don’t have a price target — because I don’t know how to value an alt-currency.

I’m 20% cash, very bullish heading into national festival.

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How Much Crypto Do You Own?

Imaging living thru an era When oil traded down to negative $39 per barrel and not thinking the same collapse could happen to the dollar one day. Imagine that.

The upwards meltup of cryptos continues, as BTC encroaches on $19k and ETH above $500. Even XRP is partaking in all of the glory.

I was a stalwart skeptic in cryptos years ago, only because of the unchecked enthusiasm. Since then, the world has gone fucking crazy. Is it so far fetched now to believe Amazon will join OSTK in accepting purchase using BTC? Considering there is barely any mainstream adoption to B2C transactions, I’d argue we’re literally in the early innings of this run.

My favorite is ETH, due to its ICO exposure. If afraid to buy now, dollar cost average every month, like I’ve been telling you fuckers to do for more than a year.

Most importantly, understand that this run will dissipate and then flag and falter. The point here is to diversify your store of value away from dollars into something alt. Gold is also a fine example, but BTC-ETH is by far more preferable due to its dominance in the black markets and money laundering venues where expeditious transfers are part and parcel of a modern criminal enterprise.

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See Pal, This is the Type of Person that I am

I just got back from shopping. I had picked up my mother in law from the airport this morning and have been busy ever since. We also launched Stocklabs Alpha trials today, which means we’ll be moving to beta within the month. I know this sounds crazy, but demand from you grifters is too high. I get 50 new daily beta requests via my Twitter page alone and we now have 5,000 clamoring for access. I cannot accommodate much more — because for one the servers cannot take it and for two, it will delay our rollout.

I will be withdrawing beta trial offers soon, so this is your last call.

For the session, I was up more than 300bps, a magnificent day all around. For the month, my cock grew 3 inches.

Look pal, there’s a million people out there telling you to sign up for their fucking newsletters or to join their trading rooms because they’re gonna teach you how to trade. I will never teach you anything. “The Fly” is a MASTER FISHERMAN, who navigates the seven seas daily in search of food. As a member of Exodus and soon to be Stocklabs, all you have to do is sit there all day long gobbling down vats of custard while eating the fish I provide for you. Why trade inferiorously when you can simply latch onto a great white and eat the scraps that fall out of his mouth?

I’m a generous shark, might I add, and I regularly spit whole fish directly into the faces of my membership base.

I’m roasting a chicken now, so I need to stop blogging.

Drinking begins Monday morning.

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THE FLY WINS AGAIN

I’ve been busy all morning — but I will have you know, my trading account busted loose today, up more than 330bps, led by gains in CAN, OSTK, and JKS. As a matter of fact, mostly all of my stocks are banging higher. I took gains and immediately reallocated — because when I win I do so in droves — streaks that defy logic or gravity.

As you sit there stupefied by an ascendent Fly, let me remind you fuckers my quant, which has 50% of my liquid assets, is +22.3% for the month, led by gains in UPWK (94%), MGNI (+55), FVRR (+27%), and ENPH (+28%). I have 11 others stocks up between 10-25% for November.

This is what happens when high IQ meets work ethic in the markets.

Still bullish, incredibly so, heading towards National Festival.

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