iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,565 Blog Posts

MARKETS WILL CRASH

At some point, you have to ask yourselves “what the fuck am I doing?” Nothing is in your favour, Sir. This is bullshit, personified. Having said that, the circle jerk continues. Markets flagged lower today by 330 NASDAQS and all of the absolute faggots are offering opinions on the tele today.

This is what I know to be true. We are embarking on a strong likelihood of RENEWED LOCKDOWNS. Hard hit industries, like commercial RE and consumer facing businesses, have endured 50-95% drawdowns in revenues. This is not a tailwind to get behind — because once that wind arrives at its destination — you will be tossed strongly into quickly moving helicopter blades.

I fucked up, gigantically, today.  I had SUNW and sold for a 4% loss and then it immediately jumped 250%. I wanted to kill myself. I ended selling EVERYTHING, booking losses of 3% for the session, and then I loaded up on shorts. I am down 0.34% for the week, closed the session at 70% cash, 100% eager to see this fucker burn to the ground.

Added bonus: BREONA TAYLOR INSPIRED BLM RIOTS TONIGHT. Also, I won round 1 of the FINTWIT elections, amongst rampant voting irregularities. Be sure to dispatch Uncle Rico with the same verve you cast away CORDOVA.

 

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Great Tragic Tragedies Strikes Traders Down

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Stonks, as they’re popular known amongst the idiot class of investor, are supposed to only go up. Lo and behold, the NASDAQ is now knifing lower — off by more than 200. Miserably, I only have 1 hedge, and I closed out my SQQQ when the NASDAQ was down 150. I too bought into the fervor, pretended that nothing was wrong and how wonderful stocks were, all because the Federal Reserve sucked its dick.

I am more than happy, in fact elated, to donate some of my 300% YTD gains in exchange for pain and misery amongst the TikTok investment class. To this end, I am 30% cash, triggered lower amidst a flurry of panic sales, eagerly awaiting the next leg to drop.

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STOCKS NOT DOING MUCH, BUT THE FLY WINS AGAIN

Let me explain something to you pal. There is a common thread in the long rich history of this site. You’ve bore witness to all of my ups and downs, MASSIVE CATACLYSMS and the like. But, as always, Le Fly finds a way to win — especially when he seems to be failing badly.

Last night during the overnight session, whilst you fat American bastards slept over pounds of chopped meat, my European fan base awoken to blackened coffee and croissants and VOTED FOR LE FLY in the all important FINTWIT MADNESS poll. I had been down 300 votes and now that is gone — no thanks to any of you American reprobates.

While Cordova is certainly a worthy enemy, it was never something to be concerned with and I am delighted to see her simp fanbase on suicide watch, voicing distress on Twitter with comments like below.

And for the record, Le Fly isn’t ‘ugly’ per se. I am in fact quite odious, in a gentlemanly sort of way — both malevolent and detestable, but a gentleman nonetheless. At any rate, I look forward to the next round of this ALL IMPORTANT FINTWIT contest, where I expect to douse “Uncle Rico” with some tequila and light him aflame.

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Grimly Painted Rally, Le Fly Barely Won

An interesting melt up marked by my own over-enthusiasm. Part of my underperformance, up just 0.25%, is due to overtrading. I bought and sold FROG and then it sprang for another 10%. In the morning I blew out of my losers and traded back to breakeven, erasing a 1.6% loss — but did little more afterwards. It was a lot of churning, but not much burning.

I closed the session 100% allocated. Fuck you and fuck my trades. I am tired of posting them. What difference does it make? Does me posting my trades help you? No. Does it encourage you to trade better? No. You are going to do whatever the fuck you do and that is most likely on par with losing VAST SUMS of money. I will tell you this now for your own good: quit trading. No one is going to teach you anything. Fuck those faggots. The best way to make money in this market is by copying SPACE ALIEN MAGICIANS (SAM) — sitting obediently inside Exodus and waiting for fresh fish.

More or less, I am trading in and out of complete fucking shit. My Quant, which is STACKED with “the best stocks”, moved higher by 1.7% today — but it’s down 5.8% for the month, whereas my self directed is +13%. Should I, dare I say, sell out of the Quant and do it all myself? Perhaps. But the whole fucking point of the Quant is to market perform on days like today — asshole +0.25% trading gains boosted by quantitative greatness.

Bottom line: go fuck yourself. Also, I am getting space stomped by a female trader on Twitter, with a vote count off the charts in comparison to the other faggots partaking. What is this poll? That is a poll of assholes, attempting to feeeeeel important. But seriously, I hate all of you and hope you lose all of your money tomorrow.

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MASSIVE GORILLA RALLY UNDERWAY

I extricated myself out from the hole I was in earlier, erasing a 1.6% deficit and now stand before you COCK-SURE, +0.2%. It isn’t much, but it marks my 10th consecutive day of gains.

The NASDAQ is +120 and this is easy. Get in and get out. Grab 2-4% for your troubles. It costs you nothing.

UPDATE: PLEASE RIG THIS POLL FOR ME, or else! Vote Fly multiple times.

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Needing to Climb Out From a Hole

I was out all morning, doing things completely unimportant. Sacrilegiously, I neglected to even look at my positions and as a result of said neglect, I found myself in a 1.6% hole when I got back.

Understand something, the vast majority of my trading stocks are piece of shit worthless pieces of paper — flimsy companies rising and falling based off the caprices of the moron trader. It is my job, as a superior intellect, to front-run those morons and subtract money from their accounts and place it into my own.

Since then I sold the biggest winners and losers — kept the stuff in the middle, and now I am attempting to trade back to green.

The high and low lights.

CVNA +32%
WPRT -24%
KCAC +6.1%
CRDF -11.3%

My opinion of the market is mostly immaterial. We’re neither here or there. Your job, if trading, is to capture moments. There are industries on the move higher today, such as online gambling stocks and degenerate pot. SAAS has been stable and I imagine many of the COVID-19 LOCKDOWN stocks, like ZM, and DOCU, will be fine. We are barreling towards another lockdown — but this time the markets will not be okay. We will cross that road when we get there. For now enjoy the market’s resilience and be sure to take advantage of its many whorish attributes, while you can.

At the time this post ended, I was down 1.1%

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ABSURD SEQUENCE OF EVENTS — NASDAQ CLOSES NEXT TO UNCH

There’s no bargaining with this sort of fervor. The Dow closed down more than 500, but the fag-heavy NASDAQ was only down 14, reversing what seemed like an endless pit of grease and fat — down 200 at the lows.

Midday, at the very lows, I felt like liquidating so I instead bought a fuckload of inverse ETFs, in order to “hedge my longs.” The result was instant loss. I ended up closing those trades for a 100bps loss. Other than that, I went on a 12 for 12 winning streak trading intraday and did a whole lot of shuffling back and forth for what is now a paltry 1.15%. I had been up 1.6%, but was raped by those “hedges.”

On my Quant side, I was up an astounding 3.4%.

What is the net result MTD?

Up 12.2% in my trading, down 7.4% in Quant.

I am, without question, better than the machines.

I closed the session 15% cash, all longs.

All my trades:

(LIVX -8.5%)
(JNUG -7.9%)
(APRN -4.9%)
(CLNE -3.7%)
(VERI -3.6%)
(PLUG -3.3%)
PIC +14.45%
ZM +8.6%
XERS +8.4%
PTON +8.3%
NLS +4.1%
OSTK +3.54%
SPOT +0.2%
STMP +1.4%
(BLDP -3.5%)
ACRX +14.75%
DOCU +3.16%
NLS +1.6%
SFIX +1.4%
QDEL +1.3%
AXGT +3.1%
PEIX +4.3%
ACI +2.25%
FSLY +2.1%
PD +2.9%
HOLX +1.2%
MVIS +4.1%
(SQQQ -4.4%) x3
(FAZ -2.7%) x2
(LABD -0.7%)

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It’s Probably More Nothing — Le Fly Wins Again

Markets are in turmoil. The breadth is rancid and all of the worst people are being interviewed on CNBC. FinTwit is lit aflame, as the TikTok cadre of specialized financial services file for Chapter 11. I, on the other hand, alongside my thousand traders in Exodus, stand before you unscathed, and triumphant.

It wasn’t always this way, lads. Before I upgraded to becoming “The Fly”, I was like you — a miserable sap — attempting to foray into trades — getting BTFO with explosive alacrity. I have worked at this for decades and can quit literally crush your fucking heads in my vice — if a vice was a trading contest. I have a precise idea what to do and those ideas have been AMPLIFIED by the steady and methodical building of Stocklabs. All of the metrics made available to me make it easier to identify the things I want to see; ergo, and this goes without saying — I fucking rampage throughout this marketplace like a loose gorilla in the midst of a field of peel bananas.

I am +1.4% for the day, up more than 2% on my Quant. How that is happening is beyond me — as I do not have control of it. But I will tell you this, the market is pricing in another lockdown. The numbers in Europe are getting dreadful again and although many of you FUCKHEADS believe this is all a global conspiracy to somehow take Bill Gate’s net worth over the trillion dollar barrier, this shit is something you have to contend with because as the weather cools and the capacity at hospital worsen, so will this crisis.

It’s worth noting, hospital and insurance stocks are down 8% today.

Today’s trades so far. At the open I was down 0.5%. When I went to 100% cash, I was down 0.12%. I have since traded in and out of several stocks and have a 65% allocation on the long side now.

(LIVX -8.5%)
(JNUG -7.9%)
(APRN -4.9%)
(CLNE -3.7%)
(VERI -3.6%)
(PLUG -3.3%)
PIC +14.45%
ZM +8.6%
XERS +8.4%
PTON +8.3%
NLS +4.1%
OSTK +3.54%
SPOT +0.2%
STMP +1.4%
(BLDP -3.5%)
ACRX +14.75%
DOCU +3.16%
NLS +1.6%
SFIX +1.4%
QDEL +1.3%
AXGT +3.1%
PEIX +4.3%

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MARKETS FINALLY CRASH THRU FLOORBOARDS — WALL STREET STRICKEN WITH SHEER PANIC

And we’re down 640 Dow, 150 NASDAQ, due to nothing more than a cumulative effective of trading poorly. We are in the early stages of a vampire like blood-letting on all of the plebs — the people who’ve taken to TikTok to declare themselves to be financial experts. All of those people, dare I say, are about to see The Black Flag.

Now you might see this pause in volatility as a sign of bullish things to come. But consider the fact that SAAS stocks and most growth stocks have been flummoxed in recent weeks. Today’s quickening has startled pikers and junior at the trading desk is calling mom now to get her to finance his margin calls. I predict this will deepen into a dark purple and the floodgates shall open and everything you see before you executed in a most heinous manner.

First thing I did in the morning is sell all of my losers. I was fortunate to have had “stay at home plays”, so my losses are very limited — presently only 0.35%. Also, my quant, led by FSLY, is higher by 0.3%. But I am not satiated by this rouse and will not sit idle as market consolidate a bullet to the brain.

In other words, it’s over. Trade accordingly.

Also, Trevor from NEEKOLAH has resigned, ending that chapter in the illustrious happenings in the EV/hydrogen cell world.

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COVID-19 SUCKS

Being that I’ve been quarantined since 2005, I never saw a discernible change in my quality of life after COVID struck down on the world, until now.

I sit here in front of you a disheveled man. I am typing away on my favorite Apple laptop, listening to the music posted below, and the battery is ruined, or perhaps it’s the fan. No one really knows. It’s all very sad, because now I cannot blog away of surf the net for an extended period of time without being tethered to a charging cord. As of right now, my cord is all the way downstairs and my battery is fast approaching the point where it simply turns off. Sometimes if turns off at 28%, other times 47%. No one really knows and it’s dreadfully startling when it happens, almost like a jump scare.

Under normal conditions, I’d simply make an appointment at the mall and bring it in — see the clerk and he’d tell me “you have to pay me $250 to fix this” and then I’d say “isn’t covered under my protection plan?” and he’d then say “no that expired, so now you have to pay me.” I’d pretend to hate the computer, calling it a “piece of junk”, but I’d ultimately acquiesce and hand in my computer and say “when can you have it ready — I really need this thing for work?” He’d then say “I don’t know — we will text you.” And then I’d leave feeling somewhat ripped off; but then I’d drink a latte and forget all about it.

But now, thanks to COVID-19, all of the Apple stores are closed and I am now forced to endure the pangs of a rapidly depleting battery. Life isn’t the same without a good functioning computer and only now do I realize that COVID-19 sucks.

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