BREAKING: “The Fly” Has Been Rebuffed and Denied His God Given Rights to Luxury and Decadence

I had my life all planned out. I was going to eat dinner this evening, sporting a bowed necktie with napkin tucked firmly into my shirt to protect against the occasional, accidental spill, dining on the finest of mutton–topped with mint jelly. I was going to drink one of my finer 2005 or 2009 Bordeaux’s–because both years represent the very best vintages in over 300 years. After supper, I was going to retire to my parlour to finish reading a 17th century book (original copy), accompanied by a cup of tea.

Instead of all that, “The fuckhead Fly” is going to eat a hotdog and swig down a hot beer, because to be able to drink a cold one would mean I deserved it somehow. The stars and every planet in our galaxy have moved against me, cursing me to the dungeons of mediocrity. My enemies are laughing at me in stentorian tones, poking fun at “The Once Great Fly” while DMing some homosexual retards on Stocktwits.

You are permitted to scold me now–because I intend to scald you later. Being long a checking account known as VHC and the very worst silver stock on the planet (EXK) was not enough for yours truly. I had to fire a pistol and make sure that the gunpowder exploded in my face. Aside from all of that, life is a peach and I hate every single one of you.

I’m not mad, believe you me. Even though SWHC is a 20% position, I’m not mad. This is the game, win some or win all later. Just like WNR, there is a process that needs to be completed before people understand that the stock is going higher. The valuation is fantastic, but people are selling SWHC because the hot money was long for the catalyst-an upside earnings report.

So what happened?

I hate to be coy, but it’s simply a case of more sellers than buyers. This isn’t exactly a household name, so when the hot money leaves a stock that is not supported by institutions, the result can be jarring. However, this is where the small pleb, the unwashed retail troll, can capitalize.

Arb the pikers who are selling through big purchases of the stock into the blood. My hands are plenty dirty, long an amount of SWHC that is excessive already–so I won’t be adding to my position here. Nevertheless, should some of my other holdings reward my patience, I might consider upping the ante.

It’s a great long term story, one that will attract a slew of value investors who seek opportunity. Since I was boasting about my position when it was up this morning, I thought it was only appropriate of me to update you on my thoughts post sell off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g8cjYTIVes

There’s a lot of like about SWHC. They have the hottest product in the world, next to Michael Kors’ stupid bags. Their margins are expanding, up 9% year over year to 37%. Revenue growth is through the roof and the stock is trading just 11x 2013 numbers. When compared to any number of retailers, whose FPE’s are in the mid 20’s, one could make the argument that SWHC is indeed the cheapest retailer in the world.

If you’re interest lies in apples to apples comparisons, take a look at RGR. It’s a fine company with a terrific catalog of weapons to be sold to the disenfranchised southern confederacy. Their FPE is 18.

Based upon the laws of economics through the expansion of gross margins, I declare SWHC to be inexorably attractive to all value/growth investors across the globe. Moreover, I declare the stock will double in price from here, just like WNR, but only quicker and without pornographic delay.

This is a core position of mine and I have no intention of selling anytime soon.

Congrats to the final 6 winners of the iBC tabbed blogger elections. We will be holding FINAL ELECTIONS next wednesday at midnight.

Here are the results:

The winners are

CHUCK BENNETT
RHINO
ELIZAMAE
RAUL3
MAXIMUS
DCHSN6 (that’s a fucked up name son)

For all of those who lose, do not lose heart. I am sure whoever ends up being elected will be fired in 3 months, for failing to attain the required minimum traffic share of 3%. At that time, we will hold elections, yet again.

Top pick into the bell: SWHC

You really have to take this action with a grain of salt. This is end of year bullshit, a time when stocks get whipsawed for a number of reasons. Tax loss selling hits down stocks. Window dressing helps stocks that are the flavor of the moment and hedge fund liquidations cause disruptions–causing panic amongst the unwashed. Case in point: AAPL.

The majority of funds did poorly in 2012, underperforming the indices by a wide margin. Unfortunately, those managers might be calling it quits, as redemptions come in. Investors love to judge their managers at the end of the year, like the true calendar retards they are. As a result, whole funds need to be liquidated and the ripple effects can be jarring.

This all sets up for the real move in January.

Have a look at the monthly data for the SPY, in December, since 1993.

Aside from 2010, which was a roaring bull market, the month of December is a snore fest.

Now have a look at January.

Every year since 2008 has been psychotic. Why should 2013 be any different?

I am warning you, both longs and shorts, this lack of volatility is coming to an end. I am not making the case for a VXX trade. However, I can promise you the calm waters that your little boats are enjoying will soon be over-flooded by the hand of Poseidon himself, thrusting famished sharks onto your decks, upsetting your existence to the point of financial extinction!

I started a small position in CROX.

Disclaimer: If you buy CROX because of this post, Michelle Obama will be elected President on 2016. And you may lose money.

I’m riding in a space rocket, scooping up farmers in 0hio and dropping them into blackholes. According to my time machine, SWHC is scheduled to smash earnings, fueled by the resurgence of the confederacy. Do you think gun sales slowed or quickened prior to the elections and why?

Here is what RGR and SWHC have done to EPS estimates (hint: they’ve shit on them) over the past 4 quarters.

RGR

SWHC

Despite all of the bad news, AAPL losing $35 billion in market capitalization in just one day, the markets are benign. I will prove to you later why markets shouldn’t be feared in December, but instead January.

Bottom line: I’m holding SWHC into earnings because I believe in the 2nd amendment and a heavily armed southern United Steaks. Also, I’ve noticed some of you partaking in a little good ol’ fashioned Tammany Hall election rigging. Need I remind you “The Fly” sees all and will disqualify you for soiling these fine elections with your filthy fat fingers?

Cast your vote. Speak your piece.

I gather many of you are huddled up around the fireside, toking from your favorite pipes, discussing the iBankCoin elections. Well read up and educate yourselves about the candidates, for elections begin at midnight, lasting until tomorrow’s closing bell (I changed my mind on the whole midnight to midnight thing).

I will not be endorsing anyone, instead letting the people decide for me. I am sure you will not let me down.

Rhino
Maximus
Frozenman
Republicat (he dropped out and endorsed Rhino instead)
Xtrade
Raul3
Zenhunter
Young Gun
Greedfeed
Ggarbacz
Eyewall
Elizamae
Chuck Bennett (The Devil’s Advocate)
Bradjd
Dchsn6
The Letter P
Fryguy
Ingsoc
SELLsellSELL
Prospectus
Zenhunter
Fastprophet4u

BEAS (currently domiciled in South Ossetia)

NOTE: The top 6 vote getters will advance to the second and final round of elections, to take place next Wednesday at midnight.