iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,963 Blog Posts

WE’RE BACK

I was supposed to be out. The market was toasted, after Jim Biden’s rumor of annihilating all investors, especially the SHITCOIN fucked for brains — marble heads. But alas, a new day brings forth new vigor and ferocity. We are climbing now as if it were Jan of 2021 and nothing can stop it.

The Gods favour the bold and the beautiful. Since I resemble an Orc, I can only admit to you they prefer my boldness.

Having said that, I threw away my hedges at the open and climbed up the ladder and DOVE RIGHT THE FUCK IN. As it happens, it’s a long way down and I still haven’t hit the water yet. From my vantage point, it’s bright and glistening with the sun’s warmth. I imagine myself hitting the water and curving under and coming up refreshed and proud of my flawless form.

More on that later.

I am 70% in, mostly degenerate stock, higher by 2% for the day.

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WHIPSAW’d

I’d like to forget about today. I went from +240bps to down 90bps, finished at -35bps. I basically hedged, sold everything, bought everything back and more — and closed out the day more confused than how I started.

Big assed new taxes is of course a negative for stocks. CNBC can eat a bag of dicks trying to spin this in a positive light. However, nothing is definite and we haven’t even heard the official news yet. For all we know, this is FAKE NEWS.

Long story short: a doubling of the cap gains tax will be RUINOUS for trading. Let’s hope Jim Biden isn’t that fucking stupid. If he is, then we have to get net short.

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PARTY OVER: MARKET COLLAPSES AFTER NEWS OF BIDEN’S PLAN TO DOUBLE CAP GAINS TAX

I had to drive my son to the airport and then run some fucking errands with Mrs Fly. While that happened, news hit the tape that Jim Fucking Biden wanted to HIKE cap gains taxes to 43% or higher for richer fucks. This might seem like nothing to you because you’re an idiot. But it is CATACLYSM.

Bear in mind, it was the idiot Bush who lowered cap gains during the pangs of the dot com collapse and then Trump lowered them some more and we all enjoyed glamorous gains. If cap gains is to DOUBLE, well then, FUCKED.

I had stepped back into the market before I left — because fun and games ha ha ha, suck my dick. But now I am regretting it and my 2% gains have dissipated to 0.2% and my appetite for risk is near zero. I feeeeel like shorting and I might do it. The only things that holds me back is the fact that it’s so obvious — so a Constanza trade might be in order.

We’ll see.

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Moved to Cash

I’m thinking I’d best not press my luck, following a massive bump. I liquidated all but one position and now sit and watch to see and to make sure we have a follow through on yesterday’s rally. All too often during bad markets rip days are followed up with gaps higher and then collapse. The last thing I need is another collapse.

In other news, ETH is at record highs. I am bullish of course.

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NO BOOZE, NO CARBS, ONLY TOIL

Most people seek their own downfalls thru superfluous caprices. They afford themselves luxuries and grow accustomed to them and with that newly found verve, recklessly curve their lives into an abyss. Life, sometimes, isn’t easy. And sometimes the cards we are dealt are dreadful — sickness, loss, bad luck are usually the underlying causes of deep melancholy.

But things do not have to go wayward, young chap. You can of course choose a different path. You can, instead of gouging your faces into pizza pies, opt to work out at the gym, eat healthy, and take up a clean avocation. Perhaps you’re low on funds — but are you also low on curiosity? You can quite literally envelope yourselves into a wonderful rich world of art and literature, the best achievements of mankind, right now. There are endless paths you can take to cure your doldrums. Watching movies is one thing — but have you tried to pursue true excellence in cinema? This must all sound obnoxious to some of you — but I don’t give a shit. One of you out there needs to hear this.

STOP DRINKING. It destroys men. Never ever drink while sad.

STOP EATING SHITTY FOODS. You find too much pleasure in the finer things in life. If it tastes too good — it’s bad for you so spit it out.

WORK HARD, at the gym and also in your career. If your career is shit — be frugal and save money and make smart choices with your money.

The relationships you have do not have to define you. They need not break your spirit and cause you to waste away into nothing. I am eternally bullish on mankind — because I can see past the grift and the pettiness and see wonderful things all around me. I am not a religious man — but if I was I would feel blessed for being able to live in these interesting times.

Cheers.

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StockLabs Wins Again

This will be my first of many victory claims here, regarding the mean reversion algorithms of Stocklabs, formerly Exodus.

We flagged on our RARE 6mo oversold algorithm yesterday and here we are today, ripping.

Shut up. I am not telling you this for new subscribers. WE ARE CLOSED TO ALL NEW CLIENTS for a period of perhaps months. I tell you this — not only because I can — but also to fulfill my quota of self-aggrandizement. Yes, I was long a pastiche of TRIPLE UPSIDE ETFs and yes I FESTOONED my portfolio was an array of runners this morning — thanks to our AWARD WINNING volume tools.

Some of my booked trades today

sold $SKLZ +16.2%, $MVIS +13%, $CAN +7%, $SOXL +5%, $DM +4.7%, $RIO -1.5%, $AZN +2.3%, $KO +0.7%, $ORCL -3.8%

There are more — but I don’t care too much about your opinions.

Bottom line: this is an oasis in a vast winding desert of shit. Be sure to take some gains off the table, or press the envelope if you can in order to extract maximum gains now — for the fires are still coming and the doom is certain to cast its ominous shadows over Wall before summer.

Thus far, I am +320bps for the session.

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Oversold Bounce — Mean Reversion

We are entreated to a bounce this morning, one which I hope sticks. Breadth is strong at 80% and all of the small capped stocks are participating. This of course could go sideways and lower — should the weak hands being to flee via margin liquidations later on today.

But it’s important to remember something on bounce days. These are temporary respites. The party isn’t back and will not return for the balance of 2021. You might get a month, if you’re lucky, of 2020-early 2021 trading action. But rest assured, money should be allocated into old man stocks on days like today, slowly but surely, preparing for the fires that are undoubtedly coming — burning bright and furious — reducing portfolios across the nation to cinders.

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Menaced, Mocked, Mauled

I shed 433 bps today, my largest drawdown in quite some time. The market stopped ebbing and just went all the way. After the close, NFLX missed — which will dislocate the FANG trade tomorrow. In Stocklabs, we are most oversold since the March 2020 lows. What this means isn’t clear yet. But what is clear is the market is different now — a new trading paradigm filled with black smoke and charred out brokerage accounts.

I stand before you down 4% in my trading for April, but flat in my Quant. The Quant is heavily positioned in financials, which have bucked the trend. My best guess is for mean reversion bounce tomorrow. If we do not bounce tomorrow, I will execute myself in the public square by way of jumping into a pool filled with sharks.

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Dreadful Pinaction

The death of the momo-trader is in full swing now, masked by benign moves in the general indices. You get these pops and you think it’s like before — but it’s not. It then collapses onto your face and you either have to fess up to your stupidity and cut losses or preside as it wafts lower.

This is the after-effects of a combustible market, led by a bunch of GME-DOGECOIN fucking morons. We have the weakest hands of all time — people on welfare, playing the market with their stimulus checks. The indecorous mess we are in is only matched by the absurdity of the COVID debacle. Far and wide, stretching out as far as the eye can see, people are racing, clamoring even, for a dose of vaccine to be safe and to avoid being stricken by the aerial aids.

It’s a somber somber day at House Fly, off by more than 300bps, losses exasperated by my attempts at recovering from an opening of -150bps. I am officially in a slump, off 2.5% for the month now and there isn’t an end in sight.

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We Almost Rallied

You almost lost your virginity when you were 15, but had to wait ’till 20 — didn’t you? You almost made coin today, but instead fell victim to the pangs of hell. I, myself, shed 129bps, in a rather uneventful turn lower. I gathered up all the gumption I could gather and parlayed myself into risky bets again.

What can I say? I have a penchant for danger.

MTD I am now FLAT — totally immune to the dangers most plebs have succumbed to in the recent weeks and months of tumult.

I am open to changing my mind at any time.

Also, Jim Biden might limit the levels of nicotine in cigarettes. MO and BTI got forked late in the day. There isn’t any place to hide, of course, in a cancel all orders type of pin action.

Let’s pray to the Gods out cryptos rally tonight, offering is a small semblance of normalcy and free money.

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