iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
16,851 Blog Posts

What’s Your Excuse for Not Owning $COHR?

They make lasers for the pistol hot OLED market, which is now enjoying the comforts of having Apple as a brand new customer. This new demand is causing major disruptions in the demand/supply dichotomy, prompting massive investment in the field, building new factories in an effort to ramp up supply.

You can see it in the shares of OLED and UCTT. But COHR is rarely discussed — because of the esoteric nature of their business.

Pray tell, what is your excuse for not including COHR in your portfolio of long term holdings?

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Important Question for RetailFags Out There: Do We Buy Macy’s?

I know it’s unpopular to discuss the once important topic of retail in America, since everything is now automated and controlled by Amazon. But what of Macy’s? The stock is now trading at 2008 crisis price to sales levels of 0.25x sales, down roughly 60% over the past two years.

While the decline in revenues have been somewhat of a downer, they’ve been gentile and still produce free cash flow.

Do we buy now, in anticipation of a robust holiday season, given the stocked market and crypto gains? Or do we simply watch and wait for their demise?

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Banksters Return to the Fray to Bask in Glory

It must feel good to be a bankster today.

Bank stocks haven been consolidating for the past month and have now broken higher, based upon zero news or motive. Year to date, credit rating agency Moody’s is higher by 59%, naturally. And, MasterCard and Visa are higher by ~50% — because people are eschewing cash for cards. Didn’t you know that, silly goose?

The mighty Goldman have been hampered by losing to Morgan Stanley all year, only managing to gain 1% for 2017, while MS is +20%. You’d be amused to learn that MS is just $6b in market cap away from GS. When MS surpasses GS in cap, everyone at GS will kill themselves.

I was going to buy VERI when it touched down in the $20s. It did so this morning and subsequently shot higher like a rocket ship shortly thereafter. I missed my entry point because I was busy doing something else.

On my stock front, YELP, COHR and FIZZ are moving higher, while XXII and HMNY dive lower. I’m not making an excuse for the XXII loser, but I am waiting for news to materialize, so the day to day grind is not all that important — same with HMNY. People are hating HMNY’s guts now — but they’ll come around.

Retail is truly a waste of time. The ups and downs are virtually untradeable and only serve to trick people into ruin. While discretionary trading is fun and great, there’s something to be said about my systematic approach using the quant. It’s care free and does the job just fine. Then again, if I was long VERI in size right now, I’d probably be telling all of you to suck my dick.

Related: Nothing to worry about.

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Degenerate Dutch Father Forces Family to Sell Everything So He Could Trade Cryptocurrencies

This is akin to a family of five selling their home, cars, and personal belongings, in order to finance Dad heading off to Vegas in order to play the fucking slot machines.

What can go wrong, after all? Bitcoins only go higher.

Source: CNBC

Didi Taihuttu, his wife, three kids and their cat bet all they have on bitcoin. The Dutch family of five is in the process of selling pretty much everything they own — from their 2,500-square-foot house, to their shoes – and trading it in for the popular cryptocurrency. They have moved to a campsite in the Netherlands, where they’re waiting for bitcoin to really take off.

It’s only been a few months, but the 39-year-old father of three says he doesn’t regret a thing. “We were just like – sell it, sell it, what can we lose? Yeah, we can lose all the material stuff. Yeah, we can lose all our money. Yeah, we don’t have three cars anymore. We don’t have the motorcycle anymore. But in the end, I think we, as a family, will still be happy and just enjoying life.”

He once mined for bitcoin, but now only trades it, along with other cryptocurrencies like ether, ripple, neo, dogecoin and XLM. The family is still in the process of liquidating assets and investing the proceeds in cryptocurrencies as they go. The income from trading is enough for food and necessities, which the family says is all it needs right now.

He’s a fucking degenerate, making believe all that matters is MUH happiness.

Taihuttu’s brother, sister and in-laws call him crazy, but that hasn’t stopped them from taking their experiment public. The Taihuttus are documenting their experience on social media, and they are even taking donations in bitcoin. “A lot of people have lost their faith in the current monetary system,” he says. “And I think that cryptocurrency is a big alternative for those people.”

The family decided to make the gamble on bitcoin this summer, after seeing its swift climb this year. It’s already surpassed $5,000 a coin, and Taihuttu thinks it could quadruple by 2020. Tom Lee, head of research at Fundstrat, has made the same prediction.

Not only is he a degenerate, but he’s also an attention whore, using this gambit in a flaccid attempt at achieving stardom.

His rationale:

“We’re going through a revolution that’s changing the monetary system. … We are just lucky to realize that we are in the middle of it right now,” he says.

Oh, fuck off. You’re a vulgar wastrel and you know it.

Some say this underlying technology holds even greater potential than the cryptocurrencies. For Taihuttu and his family that potential seems well worth the risk — even if it means having to all sleep in the same room.

“I was shocked,” says Taihuttu’s wife, Romaine. “I was like, ‘What the hell is bitcoin and crypto coin?’ It was a lot for me to handle. But then I got into it, and it made me believe it was a good change in our lives — for my children, for my husband, and for myself.”

Stockholm syndrome is real. Seek a good divorce attorney. The slipper slope never ends.

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Morning Poppers (There Ain’t No Tomorrow Edition)

Good morning faggots. Did you have a leisurely rest? I slept a solid hour, thanks to an anti-biotic pill gone wrong that nearly gave me a heart attack. Never mind me and enough of that, let’s discuss the stocked market — because that’s what you all want to read about — greedy little fucking slob bastards, rotten and miserable, working like little engines of evil towards profligate profits.

Dow futures are +71, Nasdaq +6, even Europe is higher today — +0.3%.

As usual, gold is a loser, off by 0.3%. Devilish bitcoiners souring a bit this AM, down by 5.2%. I hope they lose it all, and more. Yields are climbing too, with the 10yr spiking. 3bps to 2.33%.

Courtesy of Briefing.com, one heck of a service, here are analyst moves this morning.

A lot of press reports about China’s President Xi, talking in loud, colorful, tones about how great it is to be a communist insect this morning, attributing that to the early going gorilla run, but they’re all lying. Stocks are jogging on simply because they can — and there is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

How about that, pal? Fucked face.

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VEGAN LIFESTYLE ON SUICIDE WATCH

This experiment or crucible or penance that I’ve been conducting on myself, resorting to a vegan diet, would make sense — providing I actually gave a fuck about my lifespan. To be clear, my fatalistic, blowing up in a cloud of black smoke persona is very real and does not mix well with a health conscious diet. Ergo, and this goes without saying, I am ebbing towards quitting this RIDICULOUS diet in order to only eat meat.

That’s right, I’m gonna attack the fucking deer in my yard and eat them alive, fur and all. The problem with vegans, in my brief experience knowing them, is that they’re mainly assholes. Anyone who precludes themselves from foods, based upon the premise of wanting to be healthier, should be shot. Now I don’t mean that metaphorically; I actually mean get shot.

Look at Bill Clinton. He used to look good; now he just looks like a GIGANTIC FAGGOT.

On the matter of part 2 of my story, I intend to write it, even though it’s a grande giant waste of my fucking time. There’s no money in it for me, so I do it solely for the pleasure of documenting and creating good prose. I intend to make this one longer, mix in new characters, like The Devil and Chuck Bennett, and discuss the grimness that I endured during the blow up, the very worst of times that presided over a 78% decline in the Nasdaq in 30 short months.

For those of you who read part 1, what would you like to learn about in part 2? Any feedback is appreciated, since this long form of writing is all new to me.

UPDATE: I just started part 2. Opening paragraph, subject to change.

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Marc Faber’s Racist Newsletter Causes Outrage, Plus Scaramucci’s Holocaust Tweet

Dr. Doom just fucked himself by making racist comments in this month’s newsletter, which also cost him board seats and CNBC/Fox Business gigs. At this stage in his life, I doubt Faber cares. Then again, maybe he does? Either way, one has to wonder why he, all of a sudden, felt the need to “thank God” that white people settled in America and not “the blacks.”

Faber argued against the removal of confederate statues in America, saying they distracted from more important topics. Then he unloaded this gem.

CNBC reached out for comment; naturally, Faber defended his statements, saying, “If stating some historical facts makes me a racist, then I suppose that I am a racist. For years, Japanese were condemned because they denied the Nanking massacre.”

In other news, Anthony Scaramucci’s new media account tweeted out this puppy today, a pop quiz of sorts — testing his followers on the total death toll of jews in German camps.

Scaramucci claimed he wasn’t tweeting from that account and someone else had done it. He is furious and someone will be fired, according to his statement.

Jake Tapper was the first CNN’er to be outraged.

Then he tied in holocaust denial with nationalism.

‘Merica.

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Here Are the Best Looking Revenue Charts (Bonus Edition)

The sum total of the stocks I posted under the ‘Best Companies’ tagline is, without question, the very best assemble of stocks possible. They’re the best, not because their charts are nice and the trends are up — but because they’re revenues make them so.

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