18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,835 Blog Posts


I got some unexpected reactions to my previous post, where I casually stated I’d go without booze for a while. I hadn’t given it much thought and I certainly do not have a substance issue. I am keenly aware that when someone says that eyes immediately roll in the back of the readers head, solidifying the suspicion that the abstainer is, in fact, a fucking alcoholic.

The truth is far more simple and sincere. For the past year I’ve been a Chef at House Fly, eating well — but rich, very rich and decadent foods. My work has kept me from attending the gym at the level I enjoyed in previous years. My health is good, but I don’t feel great. Getting older, with my children older and more keenly aware of my actions, I felt this would be a positive thing to demonstrate, a discipline for the sake of doing it. There isn’t any downside to it. After all, alcohol is a poison and although it offers comfort and laughter, it is a malevolent friend, one that shortens lifespans and manifests itself incredulously — accentuating the worst in people. I simply want to do without it — mainly because I don’t. I hope that makes sense to you.

I will abstain from booze until the summer. I will not cheat or bend, because I’m stubborn and strong willed.

On the issue of stocks — a poor day for my trading account. I sold one stock for a 5% loss and another for a 1.5% gain. More or less, I am in a holding pattern. No rush — just holding and waiting.

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OFF TO FIX THE BENZ AGAIN; Plus a Few Movie Reviews!

I saw three movies this weekend. Here are my reviews.

Hobbs n Shaw — absolute shit — makes Fast and Furious look like a documentary. What else can I say, other than absolute shit. Review 3.9 out of 10.

The King — Presently playing on Netflix is a little awkward, mainly because this is a famous Shakespearean play — one that was produced famously by Orson Welles in Chimes at Midnight. This was a solid film. My only reservation is the young actors looked too diminutive to be imposing. The score was fantastic and I find myself listening to it at least an hour of every day since I’ve watched it. Review 7.6

Doctor Sleep: Holy shit I did not expect this to be very good. Boy was I surprised. There is a Kubrick atmosphere in this horror continuation. Yes, this is The Shining part 2, done fantastically. I loved almost everything about it. Maybe the ending could’ve been executed a little better — but it was a highly entertaining thriller and must see for any Shining fans. Review 9.4

Now I’m off for the Benz dealership to fix my Benz, which is giving me issues again. What will it be — another 10k fix? Who knows? I’m so emotionally invested at this point — the car is, more or less, one bad average down after the next. I’ve applied the Martingale Stratagem to the automobile, my good Sir. I shall win the day, even if it costs me everything.

Not much going on with stocks. I’ll be checking in later.

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Ready For a Week Filled With Great Trades and Austere Times

I’m voluntarily abstaining from all forms of alcohol for an undetermined amount of time, even beer and the occasional glass of wine. I’d consider myself to be a social drinker, typically guzzling down martinis at dinner occasions and/or the weekend beer. But all of that has come to an end, at least temporarily.

What is the reason for such austerity?

It’s just a feeling, something I wanted to do. Several years back I switched over to tea from coffee for a period of 12 mos because I felt coffee, for lack of a better term, was indecorous — the preferred beverage of homeless people worldwide.

This weekend has been marked by a visit from my Mother — who is here for 3 weeks, plus lots of dining out and of course wanton spending and deranged acts of consumerism. One doesn’t always obtain the life one imagines, but instead the one one deserves. Always remember that when lamenting your condition.

Twenty years ago I would never have imagined myself to be the world’s most prolific finance blogger, independent from the world, totally quarantined from Wall Street and a merchant of services catering to mom and pop investors. Thirty years ago, I thought I’d be a baseball player. Funny how expectations rarely meet outcomes once variables are thrown into the mix. For example, I had intended to droll on in a philosophical rant about life and keeping optimistic in the face of overwhelming fuckery — but instead find myself being summoned into the kitchen to help Mrs. Fly cook pasta, properly. This is precisely the poetic rhyme of life, encapsulated in an abrupt ending to a blog that could’ve been great — but instead ended up incomplete and somewhat disappointing.

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The Fed is Intervening in Markets Again and That’s Bullish

A good friend of mine, former financial advisor, is back to trading after spending the past decade as a chef in NYC. The last strong look at the market for him was 2008-2009, when he and I gamed the financial crisis and made some coin. He’s texting me these days about the Fed and how the repo markets are a sign of doom. But I rebut him and try to remind him that the reason why the financial criss happened was due to lack of intervention. It was only after the Fed intervened did markets bottom. Yes?

So here is the Fed’s balance sheet, an obvious QE in the making with rapid expansion.

You only have to ask yourself a few questions when looking at that graph.

Can they keep it up?

Will they keep it up?

Is intervention bullish or bearish?

And trade.

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Bagged a 7% winner in INMD — no big deal. My turnover is insane, but makes perfect sense now with zero commissions. Nothing can stop me from playing this video game until it breaks.

INMD +7.3%
ICPT +4.1%
FRPT +4.1%
UAL +1.1%

More or less, I am 100% long here, with periods of cash lasting no longer than 30 mins. I am into this bull market and truly do not think there is a better trade in the Universe, than me.

Having said that, I wouldn’t be surprised to see markets flash lower next week, amid all of this hubris and fucking bullshit. However, that theory has proven to be ridiculous and always a loser. Ergo, I just keep trading, like a fucking machine.

National Festival Day is just around the bend. Exodus 2 is progressing at a rapid pace. Fly is trading like Zeus. All is right in the universe, except for the fact that my enemies still breathe.

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Good news millennial faggots.

It was the fucking vitamins all along. I always knew those things weren’t any good for you.

U.S. health officials finally have a potential breakthrough in the vaping illness outbreak that’s killed at least 39 people, narrowing in on vitamin E acetate as a “potential toxin of concern,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention officials said Friday.

The compound used in supplements, cosmetics and vaping products was detected in all 29 lung tissue samples from patients that health officials tested, Dr. Anne Schuchat, the CDC’s principal deputy director, told reporters on a conference call.

“We have a potential toxin of concern from biological samples in patients,” Schuchat said. “We are in a better place than we were a few weeks ago in terms of finding a culprit.”

It should come as no surprise that pot stocks are ripping today.

Get out there kids and start vaping again — totally fucking safe sans the vitamins.

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The Trump Trade War Games Continue

My battles inside WallStreetBets continues, as I make my presence known — slapping the shit out of the other mods — applying punitive “flair” to their little names.

For now, the founder is still a fan, appreciative of my good work. This of course will end poorly — but I have no choice in the matter. There’s a lot of slackers over there, rookies, and retards who do not know how to properly corral an audience of autistic man-childs.

On the issue of the trade war, incredibly obscure. No one knows what the fuck is going on — not even Trump.

I sense some downside in the future.

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Markets Do Not Bottom on Fridays

Fully long — dick protruding outward into the transom — literally nothing in my way but the door. We’re late in the week and today’s rally was weak AF. I realize you’re all very nice people and deserve the best — because you’re all so smart and wonderful and immeasurably keen — but you’re going to lose some coin tomorrow. That’s just the way it has to be.

I progressed today, as it is my place to do so. I make an effort each and every day to enlighten those around me — through harsh words and kinetic force. Sometimes my good deeds go unnoticed — but that’s ok. “The Fly” is patient and waits eagerly in the tall tall grass waiting for his opportune to present itself.

One topic of note in Exodus today was dogs, and how it pertains to retail spending trends. The gist of the conversation went like this:

Fuck dogs. We treat them like shit. We feed them barely anything. We never spend money on them. In China rich people kick them really hard for barking. Etc.

Exhausting, really. Dogs should not be kicked, but eaten. We all know what a wonderful tasting animal The Dog is and how inexpensive they are. Why, you could go to the local rescue now and order 10 pitbulls and eat them by tonight!

Fucking off for now.

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We have such a wonderful juxtaposition between the wealthy and the broke-ass bitch-ass government. This relationship leads to us to one road, heavy taxation of the rich in order to subsidize the burdens of government for the purposes of grift and retention of power. How else does one explain how Elizabeth Warren is a presidential candidate? Eventually, and this goes without saying, socialism will grip its tiny wiry hands around America’s neck — out of necessity.

Mathematically, there is zero chance we extricate ourselves from the $23 trillion debt hole, not including the trillions more in entitlements. The idea that rates could go higher in our lifetime is a laughable idea — one that should be met harshly with leather whips to the back and neck. Do not ever suggest rates are going up in my presence.

Rates “bottomed” in an interesting spot, one that has marked the bottom several times the past decade. But it won’t last — because America is fucking flat broke.

Bear in mind, this doesn’t mean stocks go lower. As a matter of fact, stocks will continue to go higher — but the tax burden will too. Eventually there will be a major tax initiative when enough normies hate billionaires enough to seize their shit. Until then, we play the game of cat and mouse — pretending we’re not barreling down this path — celebrating “capitalism” in all of its grande fairness.

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Booking Losses During Big Runs is Important

Important reminder for you absolute faggots out there.

If you should happen to own stocks that are doing poorly in the midst of a big run, you’re in the wrong stocks. If you’re in the wrong stocks, you either need to elongate your time frame for a best ideas approach or you’re an idiot on the precipice of loss.

After going 17 for my last 19, I just booked three losses in a row. This is what happens when the bulls gets that exuberance.

(LK -10.2%)
(TEVA 7.9%)
(YELP -9.3%)

The worst part is TEVA screaming higher today — but oh well.

Truth is, I am a Master Ace stock trader and could never lose for an extended period of time — even if I tried. Some of you might take a foray into my world and get BOGGED out immediately during one of my downturns, but that’s your fault because you were stupid and didn’t know how to size positions correctly and only chose some of my ideas and not all. If you’re eating my fish, you need to eat them all in order to attain the full experience. By cherry picking my ideas, you are essentially being a stock picker of a stock picker, in one of the most volatile games in the world — rendering my craft, my modern living work of art, meaningless shit.

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