18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,704 Blog Posts

Futures Steamroll the Fuck Higher — Thanks to Trade War Victories

Trump did it again, notched another line in his fucking kill club. Remember when markets dropped last week because the Chinese trade delegation cut their trip short? Most people thought they hated our guts and wanted to go back home to Beijing. But the truth is a lot better. At the bequest of Mnuchin, the Chinese trade delegation was kicked the fuck out and their farm tour canceled.

The rationale was as obvious as it was sublime: the Chinese need to be buying fucking ag products, not visiting our farms. Trump was very surprised by Mnuchin’s gangster; but the point was made clear to the Asian savage: buy our shit, or get the fuck out.

With fear and piss trembling down the Chinese leg, Trump has, once again, declared another trade war victory, one desperately needed in order to boost stocks to record highs.

Dow futures are +140 and mostly no one knows what the fuck is going on here but me.

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Peloton is a Piece of Shit

First off, let’s get this out of the way, We Work. Piece of shit.

“A few weeks after Mr. Neumann fired 7% of the staff in 2016, he somberly addressed the issue at an evening all-hands meeting at headquarters, telling attendees the move was tough but necessary to cut costs, and the company would be better because of it,” the WSJ says in the article.

“Then employees carrying trays of plastic shot glasses filled with tequila came into the room, followed by toasts and drinks,” the profile says. “Soon after, Darryl McDaniels of hip-hop group Run-DMC entered the room, embraced Mr. Neumann and played a set for the staff. Workers danced to the 1980s hit It’s Tricky as the tequila trays made more rounds; some others, still focused on the firings, say they were stunned and confused.”

Uber is a cab company that employs kidnapping rapists. Piece of shit.

The next company to attempt to IPO is Peloton and I hate this company with every fiber of my soul.

What the fuck is the point? These bicycles have been around since the 60s, house moms taking to the bike, exerting themselves into a fucking mental illness. Now they’ve rigged these same 1970s machines up with interactive television and all of a sudden, these motherfuckers think the concept is worth over $8 billion? How about no and go fuck yourself?

Losses have recently QUADRUPLED from $48m per annum to $250m, as they attempt to scale this motherless whore into an IPO payday. Do not be fooled by the gimmick or mass promotion of this piece of utter and complete shit. I am promise you this, it will be a serial underperformer post IPO.

How do I know this?

Because the concept is moatless and also complete shit.

In other news, I sold GME for an overnight 8.6% gain.

Thus far for today

JNUG +8.3%
IAG +11.4%
GME +8.6%

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Taking a Little Morning Profits Off Gold

Some might argue and say “Fly, I thought you loved gold. Why the fuck are you selling it?”

Watch your fucking mouth, youngster — or I’ll slap it for you.

I am taking profits on some gold here because that’s what players do. We take profits and don’t get sentimental on trades.

I booked an 8.3% overnight score on JNUG and +11.4% on IAG, held 3 days longer. My last 10 trades.

DTEA +45.3%
(PAYS -9%)
(ECA -7.4%)
(LABD -2.4%)
BZUN +2.4%
NEWR +5.3%
SPWR +5.4%
(FSLR 1.3%)
JNUG +8.3%
IAG +11.4%

6 out of 10 with some outrageous percentage wins. This is me being fully transparent. I’ll post my last 10 trades anything you fucking ask for them. Why? Because I have nothing to hide, but my innate talent that provides me with the wisdom to execute winning strategies without expiration.

Is gold still good here?


Will I buy back in later?


Now fuck off.

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Bond Yields Plunge

It’s over, faggots. US 10yr yields are Mcplunging this morning — down 6bps to 1.69%. The idea of reflation has been killed. The idea of morbidly low interest rates is alive. As such, you’d be wise to get long gold and silver, with your cock and your balls.

The recent trade has been correlating gold with yields. As yields dropped, the price of gold soared. During the recent downturn in gold, which caused all of the fiatFAGS to declare gold dead again, making fun of the “men of metal” as if this were 2015. WRONG, fuckers. This is not 2015. The year is 2019 and we’re fixing to peel off your faces with the rubbers from our spinning tires.

Futures are soft, but gold is hard. Take what you will from that.

Happy Monday!

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Futures Are Sharply Fucking Higher Again

Let this be a lesson to you Zerohedgers out there: never misconstrue terrible news as tradeable.

Here is how you should view markets and news in this post-modernism era.

Good news is good.

Bad news become good.

Terrible news ends up being extraordinary good.

Apocalyptic ends up being the best.

There are trading dips along the way. But ultimately, the central banks have complete control of markets. I know what you’re thinking: “one day they’ll lose control and the WHOLE kit and caboodle will come tumbling down — people will be fucked inside fires and their faces shot off by angry mobs. If you’re betting on that sort of thing, you might as well become a professional lottery player and bet on the ultimate luck by struck by lightening events known to mankind.

Nasdaq futures are +33. “The Fly” is preparing for another fun episode of Succession. All is well on the southern front.

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Fed’s Bullard wanted a 50bps cut last week — due to “getting ahead of the curve”, the storm that is coming.

The US manufacturing sector “already appears in recession” and overall economic growth is expected to slow “in the near horizon,” St. Louis Federal Reserve Bank president James Bullard said on Friday, explaining why he dissented at a recent Fed meeting and wanted a deeper, half-percentage-point rate cut.


Sure enough, as Goldman wrote in its FOMC post-mortem, “we took this as a fairly strong hint and now expect the Fed to resume trend growth of its balance sheet in November with permanent OMOs. It is possible that the FOMC will take that opportunity to also reach a final decision on possibly shortening the maturity composition of its purchases, which it discussed at its May meeting.”

ZH 2

This is precisely what we said last Friday would be the Fed’s first line of defense, when we laid out what may happen after the dollar funding shortage arrives:

  1. repos, i.e. temporary ad hoc reserve adding open market operations,
  2. Treasury purchases, i.e. permanent open market operations, similar to outright UST QE only without a clear QE mandate (for now), and
  3. standing repo facility (SRF), i.e. a new facility that could “automatically” add reserves to the banking system when GC or fed funds reaches a threshold above IOER.

We are now at 1. If and when repo rates continue to rise even with the Fed’s repos in market, the Fed will have no choice but to launch either QE or start a standing repo facility.

For those who may have forgotten how repos work – which is to be expected in a world where all the excess funding was provided by QE – here is the explainer we provided last week:

1. Old school funding pressure lessons: repos & outrights

Pre-crisis the Fed relied on two types of open market operations to manage funding markets and their balance sheet: (1) temporary repo or reverse repo operations (2) outright UST purchases. Repo operations were used to “fine tune” the amount of reserves in the banking system to hit the fed funds target rate while outright UST purchases were used to offset currency in circulation growth. As a reminder, currency growth – of which we have seen a dramatic increase in recent years as the amount of $100 bills in circulation has soared – eats away at reserves in the banking system; this would pressure fed funds higher if the Fed did not growth their balance sheet to offset this (Exhibit 1).

  • Reserve adding operations: both repos and outright UST purchases have the same impact on the Fed’s balance sheet: on the asset side they increase SOMA holdings and on the liability side they increase reserves (Table 1). The only difference is that repos are relatively short-lived and unwind on an overnight or short-term basis; outright Treasury purchases have a permanent impact on the Fed’s balance sheet.

  • Reserve draining operations: pre-crisis the Fed only ever engaged in open market operations to drain reserves as a “fine tuning” fed funds management exercise. Prior to 2008 the Fed never engaged in any permanent open market operations to drain reserves (such as UST sales) since they only ever used this tool to offset currency growth.

Bottom line: Because of the pressure in the repo markets, the Fed are going to be forced to start buying bonds, ergo QE4. This might be feared at the onset, due to “MUH END OF WORLD”, but will soon be embraced as incredibly bullish for equities.

In short, buy stocks.

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You stupid shits.

I’m not even going to brag about gold BARRELING higher. It is what it is. This is what I do and that’s what you do. Look at the name of my website: iBankCoin. That’s what I do. What is the name of your website? EXACTLY.

I am a professional and my trades should be followed closely, because they are professional. When I say “professional”, I do not mean a series 65 fucking retard who couldn’t trade himself out of a paper bag if his life depended on it. And I don’t mean a CMT — chart FAG who hides and cloaks his fucking trades in order to make up for his lack of ability to trade truly good, which is what I do — trade truly good and well.

I bought JNUG today. Let that be a freebie from me to you. I also bought 5 other stocks — all small cap pieces of shit — because I felt like it. I will post the results here next week.

I’m heading out now — bank meeting. I will try to see Downton the movie this evening — because nothing says spectacular entertainment that Mr. Carson decanting wine for his dinner guests. I do believe the King and Queen will be making an appearance. Hopefully Mary’s new husband dies in a horrific automobile accident and she gets to play the nightlife scene again — always a pleasure to see her whoring it up.


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NO DEAL: Markets Dive Lower After Chinese Trade Officials Cut Their Visit to U.S. Short

News hit the tape that Chinese officials told America to fuck off and cut their visit short and stocks dove lower.

Is this disaster?

No, it’s more of the same horseshit. Trump has been bullshitting us about a prospective trade deal with China for years now. There will never be a deal, just more tariffs.

Is this the end?

No, but it does mean gold catches a bid and we might possibly meander lower for the next week or two.

Act now?

Possibly. I wouldn’t be opposed to hedges or even some gold here.

Can we reverse higher into Le Bell?

Yes, which is why I prefer to buy stocks towards the end of the day.

Good luck.

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Generous Trump Offers Exemptions From Tariffs on These Important Industries

Greetings lads.

Yes, this is a male blog only. If you happen to be of the female orientation, I would ask that you kindly become non-binary and identify as a thing in order to be welcomed here. Violators will be thrashed at the gibbet.

GOOD NEWS for tariff haters out there. Generous Trump lifted tariffs on the following industries.

Single-cup coffee filters, plastic straws, dog leashes, patio torches, Christmas lights and skateboards are among the products to be exempted from tariffs.

After all, those who do not use plastic straws are environmental “nut jobs” — global warming believers — ordinary morons who still believe we landed on the moon. Sounds preposterous — but it really isn’t.

Stocks aren’t doing much today — but bitcoins and other SHITCOINS are soaring. Are you fellows with mustaches and beards getting involved? BTW: I will soon grow a beard and begin lifting weights again, so the dress code here will change with my caprices. You will have to grow out a beard in order to visit iBankCoin in the future, so get it cracking.

For those of you who identify as non-binary and do not have the eternal fortitude to grow a beard, due to dastardly genetics, you will be asked to leave. I am very sorry — but you wouldn’t walk into a Michelin rated eatery dressed like a homeless man — would you?

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Former CEO of Overstock Publishes Missive: “I know enough to fry the Deep State to ashes”

The flamboyant CEO of OSTK, the man who took on the short sellers a decade ago — recently stepped down from OSTK in order to do final battle with “The Deep State”.

Mr. Byrne recently sold his entire OSTK stake, valued at about $90 million.

An excerpt from his missive.

You think me controversial now, but you ain’t seen nothing yet. I know enough to fry the Deep State to ashes. The Deep State and the oligarchy are entwined, and they won’t die quietly. There is going to be an enormous amount of return fire directed at me: the blather of the hedge fund choagies in the financial press against Overstock since I came forward is a manifestation of that (look back at what happened when I first came forward: there was silence for two weeks as the Bosses readied a new party line, then it came at us simultaneously from all directions at once). The agitprop press does not bother me (I hope it is helping you with traffic, though I have 0 idea, as I cut myself off from all information within the company the day I left). But wherever they go the organs of the Deep State (including the SEC) will surely follow. If I had stayed at Overstock or even remained a large owner of OSTK, they would try to break Overstock as a way of crippling me. With me no longer an executive, a board member, or even a shareholder, it becomes pointless for them to try to get at me that way. There are other ways they will come for me, but there is no edge for them to come through Overstock to do it.

Read full blog post here (please wear your tinned foil hat before clicking in)

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