BREAKDOWN

If it weren’t for my largest position [[FTK]] being blown the fuck up, I’d be as happy as a fat fuck in a donut factory. Instead, “The Fly” is enduring uppercuts to the scrotum, as men with small penises sell FTK in size.

As an aside, I threw on a bunch of shorts, namely [[CYN]], [[CSE]], [[HRB]] and a few inverse etf’s—via [[TWM]] and [[REW]].

It’s bloody murder out there; all hands on deck. The idiotic managers of mutual funds and ‘value’ oriented hedge funds are losing their shirts. All of the cheerleading ham fuckers on CNBC are eating some serious shoe here, as the markets nosedive, without safety net. Note ever 10 point uptick, they say: “we’re stabilizing, well off the lows.”

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

What happened to all of the misfits who said “buy the banks”? Or, more importantly, what happened to the people who participated in dilutive secondaries?

My guess, those people are now dead.

“The Fly” warned you of pending doom, should the economy fail to recover in the 2nd half of 2008. Well, we are close to the 2nd half, let me ask you: has the economy bottomed, fuckface?

I thought so.

Finally, it’s important to note that buying dips is no longer a viable investment philosophy. The market is having its head sawed off for it, on a daily basis, without respite.

Do yourself a favor, and get short some bank names to pair up your energy longs. We’re not done going lower.

I bought 2,000 [[FTK]] @ $20.92.

Disclaimer: If you buy FTK because of this post, Guy Adami will deem your biggest position to be “pricey,” “based upon valuation.” And, you may lose money.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEHd-BCk29o 450 300]

Hop in bull fuckers.

Feel free to get drunk and short stocks.

Carry on.

Top pick: short [[HRB]]

Asshole Charlie Gasparino strikes again!

I just blew out of my [[WB]] for a 2 cent gain. Next thing you know, some greasy meatball thrower is spreading fucking rumors about Jamie “the street magician” Dimon being interesting in buying the company, “for a hefty premium.” As a result, the stock gapped higher.

This fucker is all about helping people get liquid. No fucking way WB gets bought out. And, if it does, no way will they receive a “hefty premium.”

Fucking egregious. Someone put that man in prison.

I bought 5,000 [[REW]] @ $58.75.

Disclaimer: If you buy REW because of this post, your boss will take steroids and throw a barbell at you. And, you may lose money.

I sold short 10,000 shares of [[HRB]] @ $22. And, I shorted 10,000 [[CSE]] @ $13.65. And, I shorted 5,000 [[CYN]] @ $42.

Disclaimer: If you short HRB, CYN or CSE because of this post, the collective IQ on CNBC will drop another 50%. And, you may lose money.

I sold 20,000 [[WB]] @ $17.37

This is a tricky time for the markets, On one hand, we seem to be heading down the shit pipe. On the other, buying stocks when sentiment is weak is usually a great time to catch a swing.

Due to an erroneous downgrade, [[FTK]] is trading lower. This, my friends, is what I call a buying opportunity. With oil shooting higher, I like my chances being long [[RIG]], [[ARD]], [[PCZ]] and [[DO]].

Some banks are bucking the downtrend, namely [[UB]], [[HCBK]], [[BOH]], [[HBAN]] and [[CMA]]. Conversely, big losses can be found in all of the brokers and select regionals, like [[EWBC]], [[FTBK]] and [[STI]].

If you must be invested, stay long energy and short everything else. The next big leg down is likely to be found in tech. The financials have been murdered and may bounce soon. In short, having an oversized cash position is not a bad idea.

If you have big gains, like “The Fly,” it makes little sense to press your bets here.

As we are told everyday, China and India are on fire, man. They’re just buying everything in sight. They cannot be stopped by price, supply or inflation. As we are told, ‘they are the future.’

China

India

If this is what runaway expansion does for their markets, I’d hate to see what contraction will do. I’ll stick with good ol’ boring US of A and its stupid fucking consumer driven playground of the nescient.