iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,375 Blog Posts

Banks are Being Robbed

Listening to the [[LEH]] call, I can tell you that firm is fucked, for quite awhile. Thus far, they’ve raised over 12 billion dollars (2008) in new capital, yet the firm continues to struggle with its balance sheet.

As a result, they have de-leveraged their balance sheet to 22:1. However, it’s worth noting, the graspy voiced moron of a woman on the call suggested they may up their leverage in the future. Their book value, which is a moving target, is now $33. Their hedges did not work, over the past quarter. And, finally, Lehman’s level three assets have not gone down.

To sum things up: LEH was “scared straight” and sold out of a lot of positions, in order to reduce risk. Ironically, their hedges, that are meant to reduce risk, actually increased risk over the last quarter— resulting in retarded losses. The fact that LEH was a monster seller of assets this quarter, means [[MER]], [[MS]] and [[GS]] are just sitting there with their fucking thumbs up their asshats.

With regards to other banks:

[[WM]] has slipped down the sewer pipe. Following “Wamu” is [[FED]], [[PMI]], [[ABK]], [[MBI]], [[RDN]], [[DSL]] and [[UBS]].

In general, banks are being walloped today. Stay away.

On the long side, I really like [[RIG]] here. The stock has been beaten up, because fucktards with jelly on their bifocals have been selling it. I like it, up to $155.

Also, I like [[FTK]], [[FXP]], [[SRS]], [[NOV]], [[PCZ]] short [[CHL]], short [[LFC]] and short [[COWN]].

The market looks like shit on a skateboard, rolling down a garbage heap of molded salmon.

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Lehman Gets Handout

As we know by now, [[LEH]] has manged to raise another 6 billion dollars, part equity, part convertible preferred stock. In my estimation, this is a net positive for the company, despite the dilutive terms of the converts, being priced at an 18% premium to the common.

Unfortunately, I do not have a short position in LEH at the present. However, it’s worth noting, I did tell you fuckers to sell it short on Friday.

Bottom line: If I were short, today is a good day to cover and wait to sell higher. I expect there to be a bounce here.

Click here to access 10am conference call.

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Lehman Begging for Fresh Capital

This is getting embarrassing.

I never thought I’d see the day when my country’s financial institutions were minimized to the equivilant of a homeless man aka bum, with cup in hand, asking for money from the tourists shopping on Madison avenue.

Fucking pathetic.

They get the fortune cookie.

In other news, “The Godly folks” at iBC have several monster wins lined up.

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The Perfect Fuck You

With crude “super spiking” and banks unable to raise capital, after blowing through 150 billion, I sense panic. I told you “The Fly” smelled panic the other day. It was in the air. The aroma of stupid, mixed with overzealous speculation, has resulted in a “fuck you, you’re dead” tape.

Quite honestly, “The Fly” is victorious. There is no need to explain my actions or what I believe might happen, over the next week, or year for that matter. My state of triumph cannot be matched and is too much for many of you haters.

At the end of the day, my blend of long energy/short everything else, resulted in a sharp gain of 6.2%, mind you.

Without doubt, “The Fly” will be eagerly awaiting the forthcoming carnage that awaits many of you “market participants” come Monday.

In closing, I am flush with liquidity and overwhelmed by accolades.

Off to celebrate over a fine Bordeaux.

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ROFL @ Crude

This is a fucking spectacular disaster for the global consumer.

Anyone have the balls to go long [[DEE]]?

So much for you retarded oil bears.

NOTE: 200% upside crude ETF, [[DYY]], is ripping.

NOTE II: The [[FTK]] squeeze is coming and ongoing.

NOTE: III: Get long gold, via [[AUY]].

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Fly Buy: FTK

I bought 3,000 [[FTK]] @ $18.68.

Disclaimer: If you buy FTK because of this post, your balls will fall off. And, you may lose money.

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Revenge of the Bears

Today’s tape is not too much different than the epic movie, “Revenge of the Nerds.” I’ll have you know, “The Fly” has never been a dedicated bearshitter, until this year. With that being said, I have met the acquaintance of many short sellers, overt the past year, and boy are they pissed.

They bellow, holler and scream over the “false data” coming out of the government shitboxes. They cried foul when the Fed tried to move equity prices higher, via emergency cuts and broker bail outs. They, my silly internet friends, are having their way today.

I can tell you, they will offer you no quarter. You shall and will, deservedly so, receive the black flag, if you choose to ignore the reverse momentum and resumption of the primary downtrend.

Sell the banks, especially really bad ones at $20, on their way to $5.

Some new names on my list include: [[TCB]] and [[WTFC]].

When in doubt, go with the “Reverse Four Horsemen” of death and destruction, via [[FHN]], [[CORS]], [[FED]] and [[DSL]].

On the investment management side, short ideas include [[COWN]], [[JEF]], [[SUSQ]], [[LEH]], [[MER]], [[CLMS]], [[TWPG]], [[WDR]] and [[JNS]].

Fuck Janus.

However, it’s worth noting, my baby aka “crown jewel short” is [[CHL]]. It shall suffer a fate far worse than what the great Samurai warriors faced, when the gatling gun took the battlefield, many moons ago.

On the long side, all I’m interested in is oil/gas. Pick from the litter, fuckball.

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EMERGENCY BREAKING NEWS ALERT

“The Fly” is playing his favorite short sale rap tune, in his office, while smoking two cigars and cordially sipping Monster Energy soda via his diamond encrusted chalice.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQbHAY1VSj0 450 300]

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Fly Buys: FTK, SRS

I bought 2,000 [[FTK]] @ $18.20. And, I bought 2,000 [[SRS]] @ $83.87.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, crude will spike to $1,000 per barrel, by Christmas. And, you may lose money.

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