The Treasury Indicator Wins Again

I’m too lazy to pull up charts; do that shit yourself.

I have it plugged into The PPT rankings, automatically rewarding all stocks with a nice technical bonus, when treasuries go +10% ytd. I warned you fuckers earlier; God bless brand new Treasury dudes and my brain.

NOTE: That [[FXP]] hedge didn’t work out too well. I will buy more at $60 or lower. Should Citigroup Inc. [[C]] raise capital, the market will turkey dance all the way to turkey day.

More Bob Fun:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZZRHlhViiE 450 300]

A good friend of mine has confirmed, via psychic messages, that the devil himself, Lucifer, is actively short selling the market to zero. This makes sense, since “The Turkey Gods” have been found dead, near an orange dumpster, with all of their feathers plucked out.

There’s no need for me to give you financial advice, at the present. We’re in Armageddon trading; every man for himself—son.

However, I am willing to “opine” on a few matters, to borrow a phrase from a great man on Fox news. I would like to talk about treasuries and gold.

It is my belief, the pending failure of Citigroup Inc. [[C]] is causing large corporations to wire funds out of the bank, into alternative investments, safe havens if I may be so bold as to say so.

Hence, it is no surprise to see treasuries and gold boot stomp higher, while Citigroup Inc. [[C]] blows goat cocks.

Just know, after Citi folds, Bank of America Corporation [[BAC]] is next, with a side dish of Morgan Stanley [[MS]] . Then, all of a sudden, Chesapeake Energy Corporation [[CHK]] and National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] will go under, due to their lines of credit and counter parties being cut off, alongside many companies, like [[M]] , who rely upon credit.

In short, I have a sharp blade near my desk and war paint on my face. Also, it’s worth mentioning, I might grow a beard again. This way, whenever my neighbors say: “Hey Fly, how’s the market ?”, I can snarl at them and show them my rambo knife, as if to say “I will kill you soon.”

I know, I know, “The Fly” is acting all crazy again, with bazaar late night posts and erratic postings. Just have faith in knowing that America, as we know it, will never be the same. And, the dairy lovers from Russia are fucked “communist style, circa 1997.”

In closing, I’ve cut loose a variety of longs, demonstrating a little bit of discipline. And, I’ve been adding to General Electric Company [[GE]] , whenever I get an itch. To hedge, I’ve been buying [[FXP]] in the low 80’s.

Life is good. Off to BBQ a few hotdogs over a flaming barrel of trash.

NOTE: I am 90% long equities. Back to that hotdog.

…this time is different, I am buying back [[FXP]] —down $10.

UPDATE: Understand, FXP is something I am obsessed with and has nothing to do with my feelings on the market, which is: we go higher.

Pointless Video Update:

At yesterday’s close, it was official, treasuries were up more than 10% for the year. I realize things are dicey and the world is ending and shit. However, in my studies, whenever you get this type of move in treasuries, the market bottoms. It’s almost as good as gold, with reference to reliable indicators.

The sharp bone in the chicken soup: Citigroup Inc. [[C]] .

If that can get resolved, relatively smoothly, this market will murder all short sellers. That’s why you need to cover your shorts, right now, for the love of money and flaming barrels of garbage.

All Paulson has to say is “we’re buying Citi’s toxic assets,” and the Dow will spring shot to 30,000.

Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration, but you get my point.

Now, instead of fucking around with individual equities, you might as well get some broad based upside etf’s, like [[BGU]] or [[TNA]] —providing you are into that 3x sort of thing.

So, to sum things up, eat a sandwich, raise cash, wax your car and make sure you have zero shorts. With a small percentage of the portfolio, I think it makes sense getting long. We’re about to pop higher, or die. Either way, we’ll find out soon.

Happy trading.

We’re deeply oversold, amidst a Citigroup Inc. [[C]] meltdown. Who could write such a horror story?

This is “the no trade zone,” especially on a Friday afternoon.

Frankly, nothing else matters, but the fate of Citigroup Inc. [[C]] . Most likely, they will become the proud recipients of a “government deal,” a la AIG. Aside from that, everything is peachy. The world is round and my television is a rectangle.

Commodity stocks are bouncing, but I don’t trust them.

One thing to note is weakness in treasuries, thank God. Once this whole flight to quality love fest is over, [[TBT]] will be a dunk shot win.

Until then, go eat a sandwich, raise cash and go wax the car.

As the cold autumn NYC winds are whistling outside, the hobos roast marshmallows over flaming barrels of garbage. While everyone sleeps in NYC, the sound of sanitation workers spitting on the cold cement run rampant. Janitors are busy mopping the floors of the NYSE, while listening to meringue music—ignorant to what had transpired there the day prior.

In the NYC subways, young criminals are riding the train looking for a few iPods to steal. God willing, they may find someone stupid enough to flash an iphone, if only life were that good.

All around NYC, people scrounge around with hunched backs, worrying about margin clerks and how they will be able to retire off of such little capital. The drug dealers in Washington Heights are upset over the sudden lack of rich white kids, who once flooded their neighborhood in BMW’s, looking for blow.

The mood is somber and the times are desperate.

Once well to do Wall Street bankers find themselves without pay for the 6th consecutive month. And fledgling stock brokers, with an arrogant book of business, are suddenly saddled with large losses and several meetings with the frolicking faggots from FINRA.

In some dark corners of the city, old Asian men sell gremlins to old white guys, in order to put food on the table. And at the local sperm bank, the lines are long and the literature appears worn.

There is a certain seriousness to the city, as men with ski masks flash 357’s on liquor store cashiers and pundits, with oversized heads and undersized brains, crowd the studios of Fox news to say NO to more government bailouts.

At the 24 hour Pathmark, men with bad habits and a lot of debt stock the shelves with peanut butter jars and make sure the produce section is stocked with fresh bok choy, for the old Asian men who enjoy eating it with dinner.

Inebriated single, middle aged, women hurry themselves home, following another night of nothingness. And, at the zoo, the retarded nice goat, named Leonardo, pecks away at Lester the monkey, as if he were made from grass.

And in a far away land, many miles away from where indigenous marshmallow lovers knife each other in the scrotum, over the “nice flaming barrel of garbage,” men eating bok choy are putting a bottom in the world equity markets.

Now you can talk.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSZnAN2YzQI 450 300]

As I sit here amazed at what I just witnessed, I began to reminisce about this business and my experiences in the market. I remember, working as an intern, back in 1997 when the market broke 7,000. Everyone in the office was elated, high fiving each other, then going to the stairwell to do an 8-ball of blow.

Being young and rough around the edges, the significance of that moment went over my head. The only thing I could think about was how rich I was going to be and how much better I was than all of the old dudes around me.

All of those guys survived the crash of ’87 and knew a thing or two about bear markets. They embraced the window of market upside, as if it was their first blow job. Unfortunately, for them, they are probably readying to let off howitzer shells to their fucking faces right now.

I look at this tape and almost feel sorry for all of the people in the money management field. Almost.

Since 1997, the market has been one big fuck job after another. We’ve been through scandal after scandal, forcing investor attitude to deteriorate to the point of madness.

Almost 12 years later, shockingly enough, the Dow Jones is about to break 7,000 again— this time on the downside. For the regular Joe, relying on his mutual fund manager to build his nest egg, 2008 has been horrifically tragic.

People ask me “what now, what will happen next”? My answer is always the same: “who the fuck knows.”

Back in 1997, the internet was first being introduced to America and stocks were as hot as a pistol. Even after the Asian contagion and the LTCM crisis, deep down, everyone knew the market would rebound, because—fuck— we’re America, that’s what we do.

This time around, people are overlooking their staggered portfolios and wondering if they will have a job in three months. Confidence is nil.

One thing is certain: whatever these fucking imbeciles have been doing, over the past 12 years, is 100% wrong. Hopefully, despite what your political leanings are, Obama can offer better leadership and put a bottom in this market.

As for the market:

I sold out all of my National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] and 50% of [[UYM]] for a massive loss. I don’t even want to think about it. I am still holding everything else, despite rumors of coked out brokers shooting their faces off with howitzers.

All of a sudden, I find myself a bailout lover.

Congress is not into helping out during times of duress. Those players have a vacation to partake in. After all, the democrats already won; why should they stick around and work?

We’re fucked every which way but loose. In light of a market meltdown, auto industry failure, banking crisis and a plain ol’ vanilla gay employment market, those cocksuckers are going on vacation. Don’t worry, they’ll be back December 8th to ask more stupid questions.

I don’t know what to say. You can’t go from down 200+ to up 200 to back down triple digits. The market is not able to take that much stress. Eventually, we’re going to have a fucking epic washout, unless we get some real leadership.