Fly Sell: HANS

I sold all of my [[HANS]], 2,000 @ $35.20.

I sold short 5,000 [[LEH]] @ $47.13 and 1,000 [[POT]] @ $186.

Disclaimer: If you sell short LEH or POT because of this post, your favorite blogger will morph into some fucktarded Ducatiesque asshat. And, you may lose money.

I bought 5,000 [[SKF]] @ $93.84 and 2,000 [[FMCN]] @ $38.33.

Disclaimer: If you buy SKF or FMCN because of this post, you will be on the receiving end of a homo hammer. And, you may lose money.

Shares of [[ASFI]] are receiving the “homo hammer of death,” on rumors of pending doom. As a result, other names are taking a hit, such as [[LAZ]], [[PNSN]], [[DSL]], [[GHL]] and [[WM]].

In my estimation, LAZ is a buy down here. However, in order to hedge that bet, I will go long some [[SKF]] down at these levels, in order to catch the “homo hammer” and bang it over the heads of some of you retards—who are long banks.

I’m not done making money on the short side. While it’s true, I was rudely interrupted with this rally of “death and cannibalism” by the bulls, being short. I still have it in the back of my mind. It eats away at me in my sleep. Just know, I have the motivation to “revenge trade” and slaughter all of you bulls in one sitting. It would make my life all the more glorious.

The latest Fed action disturbs me, like a drunken homeless man, inside my morning commute subway car.

Let me get this straight:

The Fed will now accept bullshit student loans at the window?

Ha!

In addition, they will take on all sorts of so called AAA paper. Quite frankly, if I wasn’t so high, smoking opium from my euphoria stock market pipe, I might be concerned.

Nonetheless, the job numbers come in at -20k, BANG ZOOM.

I really need to chill the fuck out.

As for oil:

Do not ever think it will go lower, in your lifetime. Oil will trade up to $400 per barrel. It’s some sort of transfer of wealth scheme, from west to east, that you and I were not invited to.

However, you can always crash the party, via buying some [[USO]] and putting the certs in your vault.

With my money, I do not fear [[POT]] trading higher. I will short more.

Also, I am quite pleased with the behavior of [[NVDA]], [[FMCN]], [[LAZ]], [[NILE]], [[HANS]] and [[ZUMZ]].

I am building up my war chest, in order to slay you later.

And may main street burn in their rice pots.

The “tale of two cities” has never been so blatant. I fear, if the market continues to climb, populism will grip main street and elect the wrong candidate for President.

Keep this in the back of your mind, when building big long positions:

Wall Street will “power dive” on news of tax increases and the reworking of free trade agreements. In addition, remember, market dives occur near tops, not bottoms.

So, as Wall Street celebrates for the fuck of it, be alert enough to avoid vast quantities of ambrosia or ingest too many deliriants.

In short, I will eat my steak, but remember the days when rice was expensive.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVc1ZoEAkEY 450 300]

NOTE: This has been a paid commercial by the “Elect Leonard the Monkey” campaign, partly subsidized by Dpeezy, since monkeys do not have any money.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68KLZCVFDQI 450 300]

I should have sold all of my [[SRS]] and [[FXP]] weeks ago—but I didn’t. The short story is dead, at least temporarily, until we get some really bad news.

In the meantime, it is imperative you go long, in order to stay in the game—providing you are short. Go nibble at some stocks that are down and have big short positions.

Just today, I bought [[NVDA]], [[NILE]], [[ZUMZ]], [[FFIV]], [[FMCN]] and even a little [[GSOL]].

Thinking about SRS, I remember making my worst trade of 2007, prior to my infamous “mountain vacation.” I sold out in the 70’s, only to see it catapult to $140, almost immediately following my sale.

The point: sometimes, when things look bad, they are good—and vice versa.

That’s why in markets like this, as irrational as it is, you must pair your shorts with longs, in order to live.

On a brighter note, “The Fly” kicked three old men into oncoming traffic, in mid-town Manhattan today. All three of them wore top hats and had mahogany canes. I suspected they were short the market. Why else would they dress in such an egregious manner?

NOTE: Stay tuned for Leonard the Monkey’s campaign commercial.

UPDATE: [[CSTR]] blew away numbers. What a no brainer. People are converting their spare change into dollars, then buying furry boots at [[DECK]].

I bought 3,000 [[NILE]] @ $52 and 5,000 [[FMCN]] @ $38.69.

Disclaimer: If you buy NILE or FMCN, you will be arrested. And, you may lose money.