BEHOLD

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I am posting my closing comments 30 minutes before the close, mainly because the market is a lying whore. The late day price action is absolutely asinine, all thanks to margin clerks. I know these people and they are ruthless bastards.

However, as the market firms up, with time, the margin call selling will stop and volatility will decrease.

You know my game plan, which is to buy egregious amounts of The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , [[TBT]] and [[UYG]] , while holding ample supplies of cash.

While it’s true, I own a variety of stocks, but none as important as the ones above.

The credit markets are easing and that is definitely good. However, at the same time, global growth is collapsing, as demonstrated by the dot com-ish drop in the dry bulk shipping index.

Next week, in my opinion, the most important data is Chinese GDP (Monday). Should those red fuckers come in with a 7%+ numbers, saddle up, we’re going higher. However, anything less than 7% will scare the markets into panic.

Any gamblers?

On a strong Chinese number, get long Joy Global Inc. [[JOYG]] , Peabody Energy Corporation [[BTU]] , Bucyrus International, Inc. [[BUCY]] and other coal players. As you know, coal is the filthy fossil that keeps the Chinese engine running.

On the short side, any disappointments should be met with massive [[FXP]] and [[EEV]] buys.

Expect the market to whipsaw all around, due to the imbeciles who call themselves “option traders.” These people are not traders; they’re fucking gamblers.

With the Dow giving back here, I have halted any new buys. Who knows what this stupid market will do?

In normal markets, when the breadth is this good, we should not reverse lower. No fucking way.

There are solid gains amongst most Dow and Nasdaq 100 components. Typically, when stocks are 3%+ green on the day, they do not go negative, barring some sort of new release.

In short, I am not selling, regardless of how we close. Should we “enjoy” an ugly close, I will buy the Monday dip. Should we close strong, I might sell a little on the Monday rip. Either way, sometimes it’s important to think big picture and ignore the 15 minute fluctuations of the stock market.

Think big and you will destroy all of your enemies.

You fuckers are besides yourselves due to my egregious winning percentage, aren’t you?

While I’m over here rejoicing in the blood of deformed bearshitters, you sit there pussified about the end of the world.

Fuck that. My senses are on a much higher level than most, if you haven’t figured it out by now: I am a pimp smacking “space alien magician.”

Currently, my cash position is 30%. As I said before, I will hold 25%, no matter what, mainly because I am up nearly 60%, year to date, mind you.

For you rookie idiots, keep note of my legging into positions, as opposed to your nonsensical all in approach. You lose money in the market for two reasons: 1. you are a bad stock picker. 2. you do not know how to build positions.

For example: had you gone long Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] earlier this week, you’d be down more than 10% already. However, if you were patient, and kept cash aside for an average down, you would have the firing power to lower your cost basis here.

As for hedging: I find no reason to hedge, down at these depressed levels. Should the market goose step to 10,000 or higher, I might consider a little [[FXP]] or [[SRS]] . Basically, if there was ever a time to have balls, via egregious stock buys, it is now.

Luckily for me, I am already up big; so I don’t need to go all out here. Instead, I will just roam around my office dumping cigar ashes on Tim Knight’s bullshit blog.

UPDATE: “The Fly” gets his revenge.

UPDATE II: I bought 10,000 [[M]] @ $10.15

I bought 3,000 The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] @ $33.62, 3,000 National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] @ $25.19, 5,000 [[UYG]] @ $10.27 and 5,000 [[TBT]] @ $63.14.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you visit the bullshit state of Florida, you will be eaten by an alligator. And, you may lose money.

I am sure many of you bearish type were doing lines of blow off of your keyboards this morning, as the market swan dived. Much to your chagrin, there are strange, yet fascinating forces at hand, deliberately making stocks go higher. Don’t you just love those guys?

Due to your abject stupidity, you will blame these mysterious/dubious people when your bullshit 5 figure online brokerage account is at zero, crying “No fair. The Gov’t is a scam.” Then, you will develop an absurd case of tourettes, walk around the shopping mall wearing hat made from foil; and, finally, you will die with grotesque deformities of the face and  hands.

As for me, I’ve been on a mission (from the Gods) to bank as much coin possible, prior to the world ending. This way, when we are all dead and shit, I will be richer than you fuckers in the after life. After all, that’s what it’s all about, right?

With my money, I’ve been buying [[ROM]] , The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , [[TBT]] and National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] . I believe the market is 1,000 points cheap and will use my cash horde to buy stocks, whenever moronic money managers are forced to give them away.

Seriously, both National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] and The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] are homeless man cheap. There are others too, like Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] , United States Steel Corporation [[X]] , Southern Copper Corporation (USA) [[PCU]] , Exxon Mobil Corporation [[XOM]] and Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] . However, for some reason, I find my self gravitated, mind you, to just a few names. With all of the volatility— it gives me peace of mind to only have to worry about a few names. If they go down, I nibble, like a small rat inside of a box made from sugar.

In other words, trade small and keep buying as these fuckers trade down. When the market turns, you will be rewarded for your space alien magician-like position management.

This is a must read. Hat tip Howard

So … I’ve been buying American stocks. This is my personal account I’m talking about, in which I previously owned nothing but United States government bonds. (This description leaves aside my Berkshire Hathaway holdings, which are all committed to philanthropy.) If prices keep looking attractive, my non-Berkshire net worth will soon be 100 percent in United States equities.

Oil has bottomed.

Carry on, young pleb, carry on.

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