Stupid Jumps to Tech

All of the hot oil/ag money dove, head first, into the retarded shares of tech stocks. I’m talking [[CSCO]], [[NETL]], [[FFIV]], [[RACK]], [[IVAC]], [[NIHD]] and [[QCOM]], amongst others.

Truly, investors are due for a severe beating. The market has been too predictable and is bound to start fucking people. I mean, how stupid do they think we are?

During today’s tape, “The Fly” stormed the corroded beaches of China and banked a little coin in [[FXP]]. My only meaningful setbacks were in [[VSE]], [[COWN]] short, [[PCZ]] and [[PZE]]. All in all, I ended the day up 0.3%.

I must “dehedge” myself, by the way. Due to the gayer than gay run, from March to May, “The Fly” hedged his shorts with a multitude of longs. The result: my beta is way down, disabling me from banking profuse amounts of coin. As you know, this is unacceptable.

Sometime soon, I will place large bets. For now, I’m content with life. I’ll have you know, “The Fly” has a trading hand made from granite and a head made from gunpowder.

Bottom line: my trading results is of no concern to you. Whatever conclusions you may draw from my “Picasso-like blogging” are likely inaccurate, as a point in fact. Just know, “The Fly” remains in a state of victory, until I decide otherwise.

Top pick: [[FXP]]

I’m over here, sitting in my glorious leather chair, in front of a highly egregious mahogany desk, buying shares of [[FXP]], whenever I look or glance at it.

Also, I’m throwing bombs at my trader/servant. Fucking bombs.

Developing…

I bought 500 shares of [[FXP]] @ $72.25.

Disclaimer: If you buy FXP because of this post, your neighbors will spread wild rumors regarding your erroneous pending foreclosure. And, you may lose money.

First, they (Moody’s) neglected to identify the systemic risks to the system, keeping [[ABK]] and [[MBI]] with AAA ratings. Now, they found religion and are threatening to downgrade them.

Fucking shocker.

The real question we should be asking ourselves is: Why do we need these ratings agencies, anyway? They all have conflicts of interest. They all are corrupt.

I’d rather own a bag of asshats, than shares of [[MCO]].

My guess, the market will die a terrible death.

With my money, I sold short some [[FED]], north of $16. I couldn’t resist. And, I’ve been nibbling at [[RIG]], which has greatly underperformed [[NOV]].

Still, I must admit, my top pick has to be [[FXP]]. I predict its largest component, [[CHL]], will soon be in more danger than a flamboyantly gay Jewish man, with a “Vote Bush” bumper sticker on his car, driving slowly in the mountainous regions of Pakistan, while blasting gangster rap music.

I bought 1,000 [[FTK]] @ $17.10.

Disclaimer: If you buy FTK because of this post, your neighbor’s landscaping will make yours look like a fucking junkyard. And, you may lose money.

I bought 2,000 [[RIG]] @ $144.85.

Disclaimer: If you buy RIG because of this post, your wife will begin a campaign to annoy you, on a very high level. And, you may lose money.

I’m just about all out of my bank shorts. Apparently, the price of crude is heading back down to $10. As a result, I thought it might be a good idea to reduce my bear bets. Keep in mind, all I had was [[FED]].

It’s interesting to see energy stocks hanging in there, despite the weakness in the underlying commodity. Basically, most investors think crude will, eventually, snap back.

For me, I am taking a small nick in [[SRS]] and [[VSE]]. This ethanol shit is really grating me. Nonetheless, I like the contrarian aspect of the trade. I’ll stay with it for awhile longer.

On the long side, I like [[CTSH]], [[RIG]] and [[FMCN]].

On the short side, it may be a good time to reenter [[FED]], if you covered lower, like the Godly one.

In short, they’re giving houses away in California, via 2 for 1 sales. What the fuck?

At the present, I’ve decided to start eating large quantities of oatmeal again. Over the past 6 months, “The Fly” has operated flawlessly, without the “luxury” of food, during work hours. In replace of food, I’d regularly drink a Monster or two, then guzzle some fucking coffee. But, now, I think it makes sense to eat oatmeal again. Don’t you?

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OMG, You guys are dicks. You, you must buy a little [[LEH]] and [[WB]] in the morning, else we’ll poison your tap water and make the icebergs melt.

Hank Paulson, U.S. Banking Crisis Team, Goldman Sachs

Hey, guess what, asshole? We’re in a bear market. You didn’t think the market would be up in 2008, did you?

Unlike some of you, I have traded through a bear market, of epic proportions, and it’s not fun. Bear markets are chockfull of misdirection, where asshole dip buyers constantly give hope, but bearshitters crush them.

I have no interest in trying to figure out the daily machinations of the market. Instead, I’m geared, better yet, built, to endure over the intermediate term.

During today’s tape, banks got “deballed” in early, mid, and late day trading—spearheaded by the fortune cookie morons at [[LEH]].

I have a short list of banks/brokers worth keeping on deathwatch.

They include, “The Fly’s Reverse Four Horsemen”: [[FED]], [[DSL]], [[CORS]] and [[FHN]].

On the brokerage side, I despise: [[LEH]], [[MER]], [[TWPG]] and [[COWN]].

For good measure, I spit on: [[FITB]], [[HBAN]], [[WM]] and [[SUSQ]].

On the long side, I am losing patience with my ethanol plays. However, it’s worth noting, [[BIOF]] is being walked up like a motherfucker.

While it’s true, oil is at the bargain basement level of $125ish. It’s also true, natty NEVER trades down. That fucks America, in a preposterous way, too.

My favorite natty plays are [[ARD]], [[TXCO]], [[SWN]] and [[NGAS]]. I no longer sanction long trades in the refiners, after this recent run.

You’ve been warned.

All in all, we’re in a bear market. Don’t look now, we are quietly edging near the March lows. A few hundred points to the downside, then all of the assholes will come out of the woods to declare: “We’re gonna fucking retest the lows.”

Now, the market can get inside a little hand basket and venture off to hell.

“The Fly” is about to enter a few meetings. I’ll be back, later on this evening. While, I’m gone, make sure my positions cooperate.

Top pick: [[FXP]]

NOTE: In no way is this post an endorsement of Senator Obama. I’ll have you know, “The Fly” will be voting for Calvin Coolidge, yet again (think time machine).