1,000 APOLOGIES TO THE HOUSE OF FLY

My email box is flooded with apology notes, written by halphazard bastards who doubted me. These creatures of the night were throwing coleslaw at me, no more than 1 week ago. Yet, today, they find themselves groveling for forgiveness at the feet of “Le Fly,” grasping onto my robe, pleading for help. I do not accept apologies, small men of the web. I warned you about betting against me, yet you chose to ignore the prophecy. Emphatically, I pointed to an instrument of mathematical precision, The PPT, which called another short term bottom in equities to the exact day, yet again. And, amusingly enough, you laughed at me.

You laughed, while stuffing your big fat faces with 80% hamburgers, on the way to your local cardiologist for emergency heart surgery. You laughed, while “The Fly” struggled, in the trenches, knocking off one mustache to the next. Finally, you laughed, while your head got smashed in with a claw-hammer doused with mustard.

There is a lesson to be had, good people of the interwebs; and I am here to teach it. I do it through wit and charm, with a little sarcasm and outright “round the bend” demeanor about me. In time, you will learn to respect me, else feel the wrath of my claw-hammer against your little pebble sized brain.

In short: “The Fly” wins again.

I bought 5,000 Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] @ $4.65 and 10,000 Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] @ $5.89.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you turn the your car ignition on, your car will blow up. And, you may lose money.

I’ve been busy tending to my oil wells all day, while you’ve been stuck in a “fag-box” long [[FAZ]] . I make fun of you because you’ve earned it. Don’t talk to me, as if we were equals. “The Fly” is bat-shit crazy about the stock market and will punch your mustache off if you get in the way of his destiny.

The website business is nothing to brag about or show off during holiday cocktail parties. The paltry earnings I make from iBC are easily spent on a night out in Manhattan. However, just so you know, I will not stop lighting the financial blogosphere on fire, until the iBC brand is feared by the idiots on my television box.

Aside from looking over my wells, I’ve been busy meeting with clients. “The Fly” has a busy schedule, and quite frankly, many of you have been spoiled by my availability, over the past three years.

With my money, I’ve been buying a variety of foreign stocks and some General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] and a little more Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] .

Finally, in case you are wondering, the Kraft Foods Inc. [[KFT]] for Cadbury plc (ADR) [[CBY]] deal is extremely bullish for stocks, namely beverage stocks—like Hansen Natural Corporation [[HANS]] and Dr Pepper Snapple Group Inc. [[DPS]] .

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZx3AxoTjzc 616 500]

I am an oil man. Talk to you later.

For all intents and purposes, the summer is over; now it’s time to get back to work. No more going out to bars, getting your faces punched in. It’s time to get “kick the dog into the high voltage fence” serious, especially for you home gamers who are into banking coin.

While most of you just sit around, fat and stupid, waiting for luck to hit, some of you have a sincere interest in mastering this market. Truth be told, I will tell you exactly what you need to hear, in due time.

The end of summer, for Senor Tropicana, means no more playing around with time wasting activities. I will not partake in afternoon walks or even talking to idiot friends on the telephone. Instead, I intend to pick up my trading activity, to better suit my highly caffeinated demeanor and swagger.

As you well know, the theme is “fuck the dollar” and “hello commodities and tech.” Moreover, as discussed earlier, I intend to allocate 20% of my assets to foreign stocks—all thanks and praise to the splendours [sic] of global growth, regardless of Vietnamese sweat shops.

In short: get to work.

If you recall, I was blogging from the future yesterday, thanks in large part to my plutonium powered time machine. While in the future, I was blessed with privileged information, regarding today’s melt-up, all thanks and praise to corrupt, bear eating robots, from Goldman.

Now, “Plutonium Petey” brings GOOD NEWS of future natural disasters, with regards to hurricanes and other such eventful things. Believe you me, I will be salsa dancing on your faces, once I blow out of my refinery trifecta: Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] and Holly Corporation [[HOC]] . As an aside, my position in Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] is cutting the livers out of those who sell it short.

Real quick, with the utmost sincerity and candor, get long egregious amounts of stock into the bell, then go drink yourself stupid, for the market is about to carpet bomb the short sellers into the pangs of an inferno funhouse.

Good Day.

Top picks: refiners, Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]]

I bought 10,000 [[RAX]] @ $13.70.

Disclaimer: If you buy RAX because of this post, your wife will leave you. And, you may lose money.

Aside from the cocksucking homos at Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , life is grande in Flyville, with positions flying off the handle—higher—and large cans of Monster Energy Soda flowing freely throughout the office. Once again, The PPT, nailed the bottom of the channel, when it registered a 2.25 score, for the Overall Hybrid score in the database. On the flipside of that coin, should the Overall score eclipse 3.00 again, look to take some stock off the table.

Look people, it’s all about the dollar sucking dick and how THAT pertains to higher stock prices. Much to my amazement, oil is not skinning the shorts alive. Howsoever, I anticipate such circumstances to change soon, all thanks and praise to the Godly folks at OPEC.

With my money, naturally, I might add to my burgeoning positions in Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] and TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , while slapping my trader/servant in the face with scolding hot slices of pizza.

There is no such thing as truth air castles, where assholes live out their days being honest with one another. Like all men, I fight, tooth and claw, to defeat my friends and enemies— at some sort of nonsensical game of life. If my neighbor has a big ass tomato farm, mines has to be bigger.

Some people get stuck on stupid, believing in others, whether it be a spouse, a colleague or some jerk-off business partner. When times are good, people let their guards down, via trusting the instincts of others.

NOT ME.

Fuck that shit. I sharpen my knife everyday, while preparing for the eventuality of doing something different. While it’s true, “different” is a very general term; it’s the state of mind that is important.

Having too much trust can also lead to outsized and “larged dicked” losses in the stock market. Hey, for the love of gay goats and pink umbrellas with feathers on them, people trusted Lehman—all the way to the shitter.

The point I am trying to make, especially to my younger readership: quit being such a malleable pussy and keep your eye on the big picture—son.

Dr. Fly signing out for the night.

UPDATE: Totally unexpected vid from Karl, along the same theme.

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