The Keurig Will Save Marriages

I was at dinner with a couple today who disclosed their early morning quibbles. She said “he just sits down while I get the kids ready for school. It simply isn’t fair.” He retorted “She makes me coffee and then complains when I sit down to drink it.”

“The Fly” queried: “Why does it take so long to drink?”

He responded: “I have to sip it slowly, since it’s so damn hot.”

PRESTO!!!!

With a grin on my face and a chest full of pride, I interjected, saying: “I got the answer people. Do yourselves a favor and buy a Keurig, so that he can make his own coffee and drink it right away, since it’s served at a comfortable 192 degrees.”

The charming couple looked at each other and said “that sounds fantastic.”

From the luxury of a five star restaurant eatery, “The Fly” saved yet another marriage, by way of a subtle and helpful Keurig coffee machine recommendation.

“Being loud and stupid is a great benefit to others, with regards to knowing not to waste time on you. For that, I thank you.”

-Fly, 2009

Gold crashed. Stocks went up and “The Fly” wins again. I got shares of [[CBD]] and [[MWW]] coming out of my fucking ears pal: don’t talk to me about your economic forecasts. You want to talk about the economy? Join a think tank. If you are interested in banking coin, visit my blog daily.

Off to eat some clams.

It’s homosexual opera Friday, as investors sashay in and out of stocks. Everyone is a skeptic. Therefore, as a result, no one makes money.

I have a theory. All of this fast trading shit has infected the minds of the average retail investor. It’s like they are inundated with so much information, so many different points of view, that they effectively churn themselves into oblivion. Most “traders” I know have little to no idea what the market is doing 24 hours into the future. They base their decision on “now,” and, as a result,  get fucking whip-sawed like midget clowns being shot out of carnival cannons.

Losses are part of the business. If you are unable to stare down a million dollar loss, as if it was nothing more than a mosquito, you should not be trading on behalf of others. If you are a trader and find yourself confused, more often than filled with convinction, do yourself a favor and tuck your money away under the mattress or a nice mutual fund.

I’m disappointed with today’s action; but most of my stocks are still up.

More at the bell.

Do not scoff at my charts; I am trying to make a point here. You want to be long MWW into the teeth of the joblessness; because that’s when you will get real value for the stock. MWW is a top 5 position of mine for the following reasons:

1. They are leaders in internet staffing solutions.

2. Everyone hates the stock.

3. When employment firms up, investors will race into the stock, sort of like today.

Here is a historical chart of MWW :

Now here is a historical chart of U.S. employment over the same time period:

It will take years to get the unemployment back down to 5%. However, it will take a few short months to get MWW back into the $20’s, based upon an improving employment picture. Also, let’s not forget, MWW is constantly rumored to be a prime takeover target for a number of internet companies.

In short, being long MWW with a 10%+ unemployment rate is hard. But, providing you are not addled with ADD and have the staying power to endure volatile swings, this fucker can turn out to be a homerun in the long run.

The jobs numbers came in much better than expected, sending the gay opera crowd packing with losses. All of you “Peggy the Panickers” can go suck on some “political franks,” as this market spirals higher today. I might have been wrong about an imminent “Broken Robot” melt up higher, but at least I didn’t shit the shower, by way of selling into yesterday’s homofied session.

The bottom line: big productivity gains always lead to job creation. We are seeing the first signs of real improvement in the jobs market. The next leg up in this market will be built around the idea of job creation. As a result, stocks like [[MWW]] will be richly rewarded.

There are many different ways to compile a top 10 list on The PPT. This is the unedited Overall Hybrid Top 10 list, without minimum market cap requirements.

As of now, the Overall Hybrid score is mid-range, after hitting a high of 2.97 yesterday, which incidentally was the near term top. After this post, “The Fly” will head downstairs to inspect and then make himself 20 consecutive cups of Kona (extra bold) from his fucking Keurig. In other words, he’ll be “K-Cupping” all night long. Awww shit.

Who needs to party when you have a Keurig in da house?

May Satan strike down those fuckers, who are arb-ing Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] to death, immediately.

Good talk.

Today was a bad close, ahead of tomorrow’s employment data. However, don’t expect Senor Tropicana to be right all the time. My call for a BROKEN ROBOT melt-up was and is wrong, as the market slides here, down nearly 1%. It seems people are somewhat tentative with all of the bullshit talk of Fed tightening into the teeth of double digit unemployment. If that occurs, down we go, no net. But it’s my belief, the Fed and our Government want to keep the carousel ride going for as long as possible.

Nonetheless, it’s days like today that remind you how awful it feels to trade on emotion and get it wrong. Just yesterday, I went “all in,” buying a variety of stocks, only to see them drop here into the bell. Granted, my losses are muted, with W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] , Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] and [[YONG]] not too far away from yesterday’s purchase price. The point is: being overzealous is always a killer.

If tomorrow’s employment data is bad, we will sell off. If good, we melt-up. It really is that simple, unfortunately.

The highlight of today’s session was the harsh reversal in the banks, despite Bank of America Corporation [[BAC]] paying back TARP.

To sum up today’s tape: more of the same market fuckery. Better luck tomorrow.

Chinese related stocks have gone ape shit to the upside again. Back in the old days, I’d call such stocks “Chinese Burritos.” I’d encourage you pikers to “get your share,” and I still do.  The great thing about Chinese Lotto is that everyone is a winner. You simply deposit coin into the Chinese Lotto machine and a small fortune is won, nearly every time, thanks in large part to sweet unabated communism, coupled with nefarious accountants. I joke. I kid.

Some of the household names that Dad discusses at the dinner table are Baidu.com, Inc. (ADR) [[BIDU]] , Sohu.com Inc. [[SOHU]] , PetroChina Company Limited (ADR) [[PTR]] and Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] . But they’re old hat. We want new lotto winners.

By the way, today’s lotto winner is [[FFHL]] .

Some chicoms to monitor ever so quietly include: [[HEAT]] , [[YONG]] , [[CMFO]] , Fushi Copperweld, Inc. [[FSIN]] , [[GFRE]] , China Medical Technologies, Inc. (ADR) [[CMED]] , [[GSI]] , VisionChina Media Inc [[VISN]] , AirMedia Group Inc. (ADR) [[AMCN]] , [[CTFO]] and [[CHNG]] . I could go on and on. I have a great PPT screen here (oh, you’re not a sub, so fucking sorry. har, har, har. No robster for you).

The point here is this: eat your supper while it’s still hot. Don’t live your life always wanting. Chinese Lotto will not last forever. But it’s here now you stupid bastards.

At any rate, aside from that, the market looks fine at these levels. I am not scared of double dips or poor employment numbers. I am sorry but those sort of things are irrelevant at a time when BROKEN ROBOTS and coked out traders are running this market higher.

Chew on this Cramer: EQIX .

Can you say “$100 roll?” Say it you son of a bitch.

The air smells good today. Can you smell it? I walk around with a chestful of energy this morning, ready to punch a few dozen holes through the bullshit sheetrock that surrounds me. The market is poised to trade up and there is nothing you and your stupid friends can do about it.

“The Fly” will work diligently this morning on making reckless amounts of cash, in the name and honor of proper asset management. My only agenda is to make money. If you suckers benefit from that, so be it. As long as you come to the site and tell your retarded friends about how fantastic I am, I have no beefs with you.

It’s spring weather in the deep fall, here in NYC today. I have multiple errands to run, all to do with immediate family related events. However, in the meantime, take a look at a few small float scorchers, namely: EFUT , YONG , CMFO, HURC and GROW .

Additionally, PLAY CHINESE LOTTO. I will touch on that topic later on today.