A Whorehouse of Fun

Believe me, much of what I do is not appreciated. I’ve been bowling on fuckers for decades now, going back to when I was young. I remember throwing people out of trees and tossing people into the deep end of the pool, over minor quibbles. I’ve been running the “blog game” for 3 years now. Over that time, I have established a very recognizable presence, due to my “white robe” ways and diamond encrusted chalice swagger. I have defeated multiple TIM’s and made the dumbest of you, DEVILDOG, JOSH1ngU, etc, into my internet doormats.

It all started with my crazy thoughts on a blogspot site, which has evolved into a top rated financial website/powerhouse, hosting dozens of writers—and lots of crazy clowns.

I’ve been cutting carrots, while having my balls on the kitchen table, for quite a while now. I remember, back in the old days growing up in Brooklyn, playing tag in old abandoned factories—fucking with gravity. Fast forward to today, “The Fly” is unable to descend. I’m shooting so high, one might think I was retarded or some shit.

I digress.

At the end of the day, it’s my word against yours. I’ve been mastering my trade here, for hundreds of years (The Fly was a money manager in all previous lives), while you’ve been keeping busy polishing the evening silverware because your stupid wife ordered you to.

This blog is a gift. You have no idea how lucky you are, for even reading my insults catapulted into your laps, like a meatball attached to a fucking atomic bomb. I am long Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , ON Semiconductor Corp. [[ONNN]] —the list goes on and on.

To sum up this post: I am getting richer by the second, while you waste away in your bullshit pleather chair from Staples. Do not player hate. Instead, hate the game.

Top picks: Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]]

UPDATE: I sold out of [[PCBC]] @ $3.33

What’s with your obsession to be 100% right, all the time? The best investors out there get shit wrong all the time. However, it’s the level of “wrongness” that separates them from you aka internet tradebot. Case in point: into sharp rallies, most retail investors lever up and go “balls on the kitchen table–while chopping carrots” long the market. Unfortunately, often times they are helping institutions get liquid into a crescendo of selling.

I may be barking up the wrong tree with many of you, since the holding pattern of the people on this site seems to be shorter than the time it takes me to take a leak at my favorite urinal. However, God willing, there are some of you out there who still swing for the fences, hoping for the game winning Grand Slam in the bottom of the ninth (against the Mets, of course). To those people, I warn you: Senor Tropicana will miss the top, mainly because he will not attempt to catch it. In the past, I made every effort to catch big inflection points, just so that I could dance on the graves of my enemies, with a little more frequency. However, with more than half of 2009 behind us and my gains built up to obscene levels—not 300% obscene, but obscene nonetheless— I am opting to play small and bold, instead of large and scared.

Do the math yourself, you stupid bastards. If you have a 50% gain, year to date, take 1/3rd off the table and keep playing. You don’t need to go 100% cash at the sight of every fucking sell-off. People, that is rookie shit, foolishly running up transaction costs due to amateurish fear.

Man the fuck up and choose your position. If you think the market is a short, leg into short positions, NOT inverse etf’s. That’s so 2007.

If you are bullish, float in and out of your favorite stocks, if you must. But, keep the long exposure at a constant 65%+, at all times. In the event the market melts the fuck down, you will not be badly impaired holding a 35% cash position. Furthermore, you can always use 20% of your cash for hedges, going short assholes stocks, with asinine valuations. I can name more than a few right now, particularly in the coffee space.

In short, “The Fly” is having a banner year, with gains coming out of his ears and nose. Barring some sort of “40oz. cracked over your head” situation, I will be riding this fucker out (the bull), until the legs fall off.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8N3sB_YNOM 616 500]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzy2dgEUOhY 616 500]

It’s the sound of your money being transferred to me, Mr. Bearshitter. I don’t care if the market drops 1,000 on Monday. You, Sir, with all of your dire warnings, have failed to be a voice of reason, for the investing public. If you want to give opinions, be sure to know whatever it is that you are talking about—prior to going public. Do not make believe to be an authority, based upon wild theories or lines on charts.

Tell me where the money is going; then I will listen to you. Show me an earnings shortfall, then point to where you suggested going short ahead of the news.

Frankly, being on the inside looking out, I feel sorry for some of you clueless fuckers, unable to get even one call right.

Remember, investing is not for everyone. It has taken me 20 years of study to fuck with this market, the way I do, like a remote control car. Don’t think for a second that investing is easy, else bastards like me will fleece you of all of you coin, inside a short trading week.

Enjoy the weekend.

On my second bowl of oatmeal—horse style. I spent the entirety of my day doing meaningless/unproductive things—working smart instead of like a walking pig.

I see there is a little weakness permeating the market now. However, on a late Friday, following a week of non-stop bear fucking, we shall close at or near the highs.

Indeud.

I sold out of the rest of my Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , @ $3.36.

I sold 25% of my Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] position, north of $4.80.

And, last but not least, I bought 100,000 American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] , between $3.00-3.02—for an egregious squeeze.

The Kudlow Crowd, led by Larry himself, are tasering short sellers in the face this morning, on better than expected employment data. Senor Tropicana is making boatloads of coin this morning, with big wins in Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] etc. It pains me to see Central Pacific Financial Corp. [[CPF]] , UCBH Holdings, Inc. [[UCBH]] and Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]] fly higher than HBAN, but that’s life.

I intend to spend the rest of my day, sipping on some lemonade, while throwing chicken bones at some of my bearish colleagues.

The retail broker is dead, thanks in large part to inverse ETF’s. It’s an interesting story that is getting zero airtime. You see, most retail brokers are abject morons, only skilled in the art of sales, not investing. In previous bear markets, they got eaten alive due to their inability to effectively short stocks. Then came the inverse ETF’s. At first, they were a God-send for Captain Coldcaller and Co, enabling them to make money in a bear market— but then came the screwball. The recent implosion of [[SKF]] , [[FAZ]] , [[SRS]] etc. has skinned the average retail broker down to the bone. Right now, the lawyers are busy crushing brokerage firms, through arbitration, under the weight of multiple 7 figure ETF related losses.

Indeud.

If you are in the business, and find yourself to be very stupid, do yourself a favor and take them (FAZ, SKF, SRS etc.) off your screen. You do not need them.

With my time, I will pray for wilderbeasts to bite the lips off of the Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] shit talkers today. Generally speaking, I am having a great day and do not care to ruin it talking to the likes of you.

For your consideration.

Via The PPT:

Sector: Financials
% of shares sold short: 10%+
Price per share: under $5
Average Volume: over 500k
Hybrid Score: Over 2

I think I made the wrong trade, buying more Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] instead of my target Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]] . If you are curious as to my methods, I am looking for banks with big short positions and decent tier one capital (over 8.5%). My immediate buy list includes: HBAN, STSA and Central Pacific Financial Corp. [[CPF]] . As you know, I still own a little Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , but intend to sell that fucker at $3 or better.

I don’t feel like blogging anymore today. I am “blogged out,” with my mind on other things, such as: lifting large barbells over my head, eating stuff and drinking a few glasses of Pappy, courtesy of the venerable Mr. Swan.

So, to sum up my sentiments: I am cautiously long, with more than 30% of assets in cash. I am interested in short squeezes and may begin to trade with a bit more velocity. Some of my larger positions, like Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , are gay and needle me with daily losses. All in all, I am making more money than you because I am smarter, cooler and people give me stuff, out of fear of mustache removal.