18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,314 Blog Posts

Later Night Thought

I’m not a fan of the farmer. Never have been, never will be.

Fuck the farmer and his bushels of corn.

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Thank the Gods for Oil

If it weren’t for the sharp decline in crude, the market would have dived lower today. No one is believing the “long financial” story, as readily seen in the failed breakout of [[LEH]] today.

I’ll have you know, “The Fly” is too busy to fuck around with “rabble rousers” on the internet.

I did not add to any inverse ETF’s today. I was too busy helping corn dive lower.

Sometime soon, [[SRS]], [[FXP]] and [[SKF]] will be buyable again. Moreover, right now, [[FED]] is a sweet short, unable to stand up like a fucking man, in the face of a market rally.

I kick old men down open manholes, all the time.

I like ethanol, mainly because all of you fucktards dislike it. And, I like to bet against [[POT]], because the people who buy it over $200 are mentally ill.

Net, net, I gave back 1.2% today, bringing my year to date return to a mere 26%.

Fuck you, I’m better than you, in every way imaginable.

Should [[RIG]] trade to the $140’s, I’m diving in head first.

NOTE: Tomorrow we trade lower.

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Fuck Corn

Finally, corn is breaking lower. Do not misconstrue this post as some sort of endorsement for technical analysis– oh no. It’s just the easiest way to show you the pending doom and destruction those fucking farmers face.

Let corn come down and fertilizer costs gap higher, I always say.

Adequate ways to play the fall of corn is to short [[GRU]], [[JJG]] or [[DBA]].

However, the best ways to profit from a weak grain market is to buy the 200% inverse agriculture ETN: [[AGA]], which consists of corn, soybeans, sugar and wheat.

If you are a straight gangster, wanting to profit from the demise of all commodities, [[DEE]] is your play. DEE shorts crude oil, heating oil, aluminum, gold, corn and wheat, at a 200% clip. In other words, “fuck the farmer” and the oil guy.

The 200% upside ETN’s are [[DAG]] and [[DYY]].

NOTE: As you know, my favorite stock ideas, for a fucked corn tape, are [[VSE]] and [[AVR]].

NOTE II: If you’re interested, the prospectuses can be found here.

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Playing King Dollar

A confluence of events has given new life to the shitbag dollar. We have treasury yields sprinting higher, the Fed talking rate hikes and better than expected GDP growth. Be careful for what you ask for, dollar bulls.

With the dollar gapping higher, it will hurt the earnings of our beloved multi-national corporations. However, there are other ways to profit from this new paradigm.

For example: Indian IT service companies. This sector has been killed, due to rupee strength versus the dollar. It was eating away at their gross margins. Off of a strong dollar, [[INFY]], [[CTSH]] and [[SAY]] should thrive.

The most obvious beneficiary off of a strong dollar is Japan. They are a huge exporter and rely upon favorable exchange rates to bank coin. There are many ways to play Japan. I prefer, [[CAJ]], [[TM]], [[NMR]] and [[EWJ]].

In short, if the fucker exports to the U.S., they will benefit from a strong dollar, providing end user demand remains robust.

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13,000 Here We Come

According to the latest crude inventory report, we don’t have enough oil—coming in a tad under 9 million barrels short.

Fucking shocker.

On that news, the market is ripping higher.

Just face it, the market wants to go higher, regardless of the news. Once again, the market has morphed into a magical “pricing in” machine, where all bad news gets “discounted” and good news is treated as a surprise.

If you want to short a market like that, good luck; you’ll be out of the business in no time.

At the top of my buy list are two financials: [[BAP]] aka “The Bank of Cocaine” and [[AIZ]].

Also, you have to love crude here. I’ll stick with [[PCZ]], [[PZE]] and [[FTK]]. Also, on the news of a secondary, [[ARD]] is getting punched. Wait for it to stabilize, then buy it. It always comes back.

Don’t look now, corn is getting hit again—falling under $590. Should the drop accelerate, while ethanol remains high, “The Fly” will be buying [[VSE]] and [[AVR]] with both hands.

One of my spec/lotto plays, [[QTWW]], is behaving nicely. Frankly, I could care less about the fundamentals. It’s all about price action with bullshit stocks.

Finally, I am shocked to see [[BWLD]] going higher everyday. I thought the economy was in the shitter? Conversely, “Burrito King,” [[CMG]], has been getting slugged on a daily basis. It’s almost as if the two companies switched ticker symbols or some shit. It seems odd or unnatural that BWLD is outperforming CMG by such a large margin.

Something has to give.

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My Latest Investments

“The Fly” is an avid investor, in all things that have potential to appreciate in value. My latest and greatest investments are in the food space.

Like baseball cards, unbeknownst to many of you uncultured type, food is a very popular amongst investors.

Here are a few of my latest buys from my local “food show”:

1987 Snapple Iced T (rookie) (Gem Mint)

1971 Danish Maid Butter (Factory Sealed) (Excellent Condition)

1934 Old Dairy Farm Milk (Bottle) (Fair Condition)

1909 Old Hat Cottage Cheese Company (Case) (Poor-Fair Condition)

1886 Coca Cola (case) (Gem Mint)

As you can see from my above investments, I am sitting on a gold mine. Some of my other recent investments include: corn on the cob, antiqued mushrooms, spaghetti, hand crafted lasagna, orange juice and my favorite uncut sheets of seaweed.

Being that food is going up in value on a daily basis, I expect to retire a very wealthy man, sitting on mountains of vintage cottage cheese cases and sticks of classic butter.

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We’re in Stupidville, Again

Okay, it’s time to consider the possibility that fucktards are indeed running the trading turrets, unable to read news clippings or financial statements.

The market should not have traded up today, but it did.

As a result, I will look to overweight some longs tomorrow, providing today’s pattern persists.

On the top of my list, is the “Bank of Cocaine” aka [[BAP]]. And, as you already know, I like a variety of oil/gas stocks.

With regards to my shorts, I will add to [[FXP]] and [[SRS]], only on dips. And, I am keeping [[FED]], until the turd hits single digits.

All in all, today was a MASSIVE win for the bulls. If we are to follow the recent trend, the Dow will retest 13,000, yet again.

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