iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,309 Blog Posts

Death to Equities

God willing, of course.

If you’re long stocks, prepare to feel the “hot blade of equity machine gunning.” I’ll have you know, “The Fly” made several moves today, namely shorting [[AAPL]] and buying [[FXP]], [[FTK]] and [[RIG]].

If this reversal in crude doesn’t teach you [[DUG]] lovers a lesson in life, nothing will.

I’m very busy at the moment. Don’t bother me any more.

Kind Regards,

Fly

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May I Interest You in a “Skinny Steve” Trade?

Let’s just put it on the table, shall we? Howard mentioned it earlier this week.

Is Steve Jobs, CEO of [[AAPL]], sick? We know he had pancreatic cancer, that he hid from shareholders for 9 months. God forbid, but if he is sick again, AAPL will take a severe hit.

After all, Steve is a fucking genius. Without him, Apple is just crapple.

In other news, I just got back from Dunkin’ Donuts. This one had a drivethru. It always amazes me to see the assholes line their cars up, 10-15 deep, in order to get a cup of coffee. At the same time, “The Fly” abruptly rushes into that God forbidden “coffee and donut shop of satan” and gets his large iced coffee, within 2 seconds. In others words, get out of your cars, you lazy fucks. Damn people are fat and lazy in NYC.

Regarding the market, I like AAPL here as a short, thanks to the “Skinny Steve” trade. And, I will add to my [[FXP]] and [[FTK]] positions.

Also, now it a perfect time to do some homework, trying to identify the next [[LEH]] or [[FED]]. You want to sell short these fuckers when they’re up, not spiraling down.

God willing, I will be able to buy [[SKF]], under $115. However, for some reason, I do not think God is that kind.

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Fly Buy: FXP

I bought 2,000 [[FXP]] @ $78.

Disclaimer: If you buy FXP because of this post, your biggest position will be featured in the infamous iBC fortune cookie. And, you may lose money.

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The Stimulus Check Rally

Wow, the market just about erased yesterday’s losses, within 15 minutes of trading, thanks to nothing.

Come on people, retail sales were up 1%— only because of the government’s “stimulus” checks were spent by shopaholic fucktards, who enjoy to poleax their checking accounts. Why else would they name it “stimulus checks”?

Take the numbers with a large grain of salt.

What’s interesting to note is moderate strength in energy stocks, despite crude being busted out, down more than $3 here. Also, gold is getting a fortune cookie to the head, due to “King Dollar” rallying.

With the ridiculous [[LEH]] news hitting the tape, I would expect the bagholders, who signed up for stock at $28, to back out of the deal. Or, it will be reworked.

I have every intention of fading this rally with stupendous sales. However, I will be sure to check my emotions at the door, while trading. There is a remote possibility the market can sprint another 200 points from here.

With that in mind, I will look to add to my short positions into strength. I like short [[CHL]], above $70 and long [[FXP]] @ $78 or lower.

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Lehman Liar Ousted

The raspy voiced moron, Erin Callan, just got a can of shit thrown at her aka she’s been “reassigned.”

In addition, the COO, Joseph Gregory fell on his plastic sword.

[[LEH]] is done.

UPDATE:

Lehman Brothers: David Faber on CNBC suggests buyers of this week’s offering at $28 per share may be looking at ways to get out of purchase given today’s mgmt changes being considered a material adverse event (23.75 ) -Update-
Stock is trading at 21.90 in pre-mkt.

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How’s That Bottom?

Where are all you bottom callers? Much to your chagrin, “The Fly” is near an all-time high, up about 40%, year to date.

See, you thought I’d lose, didn’t you? Admit it.

You were sitting there, in your bullshit pleather chair from Staples, thinking: “look at this market rip. That Fly guy is an asshole and will lose it all.”

Fast forward one month and I’m punching your head in, like Mike Tyson in a gay bar.

Today, I had egregious gains in [[FXP]], [[SRS]], [[REW]], short [[CHL]], short [[FED]], short [[LAZ]], short [[COWN]] and a variety of other “secret trades.”

Just know this: the market is my bitch. On occasion she runs away, until I back smack her, while exclaiming: “where the fuck is my money, ho”?

Top pick: FTK

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THE RECESSION IS BACK

How convenient.

Top picks: [[FTK]], short [[LAZ]]

Update: Mr. Mortgage May Foreclosure report

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJOJYUJi4n8 450 300]

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