iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,422 Blog Posts

Fuck the Banks!

I just escaped from my local mental institution. As you know, they were holding me against my will, forcing me to write bullish commentary. Upon completion of my previous post, I ate a can of spinach, then proceeded to punch all of their mustaches off.

With respects to this market, Cramer has tofu for a brain, if he thinks there is a bidding war for [[BSC]].

Please!

Everyone in the business knows BEAR STERNS [sic] is doomed, due to their business being eliminated from existence.

Look you, I don’t have time to explain every single detail. Just know, the banks are a triple sell. Sell, sell, sell—sell, sell, sell.

For now, I will continue to do nothing, with the exception of throwing idle marble paperweights at my trader/servant.

I’ve had a banner start to the new year. I do not intend to fuck it up with bad trades and unnecessary risk. Instead, I’ll wait until next weeks Fed meeting to make up my fucking mind, with regards to my reentry of choice inverse etf’s.

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The Bear Market Has Been Postponed

In the meantime, let’s all have a ball killing a few million bears, while smoking crack pipes outside CNBC’s global headquarters.

It must have been a tough night for the European and Asian bankers, who are allegedly in the midst of a heated and contentious bidding war, for the corn can fuckers over at BEAR STERNS [sic].

Everyone wants a piece of the BEAR now, as the balls from the bull slap the bears—on its way higher.

What credit crisis?

That was so early January 2008. Ever since our politicians “saved us” with the stimulus package, coupled with Bernanake’s rogue trader induced 75bps EMERGENCY cut, the markets have nothing to fear, with the exception of homo-hammers on a Friday afternoon.

Fuck it, with my money, I’ll just wait a couple hundred more DOW points, then dive in head first. Whether there will be water in the proverbial pool I’m diving into is irrelevant. What’s important to note is that [[BSC]] is “TOO GOOD” to stay independent.

You heard it here second.

As for the markets:

[[MSFT]] had great numbers. [[BRCM]], and other fuckers, beat lowered expectations. What we’re witnessing now is a caffeinated short squeeze. Quite honestly, you don’t have to think, in order to bank a little coin in this market.

Look, if some asshole wants to get in your way, when trying to go long 10,000 shares of [[FSLR]], you tell him to go “fuck a goat” or you will “punch his eyebrows clean off.”

It’s that simple.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a bull market.

NOTE: At the time of this post, “The Fly” was under the care of the friendly people at his local mental institution.

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Wink, Wink, Nod, Nod

According to a coked out man on CNBC, [[BSC]] is gonna get ripped the fuck out, at a high premium. He believes there is a fucking bidding war at hand, despite the fact that Bear is a piece of shit firm.

More asshattery later…

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Behold: GREATNESS

You didn’t think I sold everything, did you?

Just in case my bearish scenario didn’t pan out, I kept many longs. As a matter of fact, because I sold all of my inverse etf’s yesterday, with the exception of [[SKF]], I have a lot of exposure to the upside.

As of right now, my largest long positions include (in size order): [[RIMM]], [[CLX]], [[AAPL]], [[GME]], [[GD]], [[HANS]], [[VLO]], [[GILD]] and [[FMCN]]—just to name a few.

For now, I will milk these upside bets and sell them into resistance. My guess, the market can run another 300-400 points, before dropping.

I know, “The Fly” gaming this tape like a “space alien magician” annoys you (internet leech).

Just be at peace knowing, genetically superior men blog on the internet all day, while banking profuse amounts of coin in the market.

At the very top of that list of great men, as you know, sits “The Fly,” in his diamond encrusted throne.

That is all.

NOTE: I’m still short [[DECK]] and [[LEH]]

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Waiting For My Stimulus Check

With my rebate check, I will go out and spend it on hoes and clothes.

After all, the stewards of our economy (politicians) want us to “go out and spend it as soon as possible,” due to severe economic distress. Fuck yeah, if I was some poor dude, living off of Rice Krispies, upon receiving my rebate check I’d go out and spend it on a new pair of sneakers or gold chain, instead of paying bills and shit.

That’s the American way, after all.

Thus far, today is a decent follow through day for the bulls. If your bias is to the downside, I suggest waiting for higher prices. The market has a feel and look of wanting to go higher.

With regards to Societe Generale, I love how some low-end trader had access to so much capital, enabling that stupid French bank to lose 7 billion plus.

Ducati makes a good point on the matter.

If the futures knifed lower due to SocGen unwinding contracts, causing world markets to plummet, our Federal Reserve did an emergency rate cut (only) to stop the correction of equity prices. Essentially, that low-end trader, who fucked up unroyally, is responsible for Bernanke cutting rates.

Truly a fucktarded sidenote in his prestigious career.

NOTE: Two things: I suspect there are many more losses to be revealed at SocGen. And, the proposed bailout of [[MBI]] and [[ABK]] is a loser.

NOTE II: If the rogue trader theory is true, the Fed will not cut rates next week. No?

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Waiting for the Recession to Return

I’m eating a giant bowl of oatmeal now. I felt you should know that, considering its market moving implications.

Being in cash, I really have nothing meaningful to do, aside from throwing darts at Bernanke’s beard— for fucking up my stock market crash party.

Looking at the constant pressure the bulls are under, with bear raid after bear raid, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a late date sell off. Some of the financials are still blasting off, such as [[RDN]], [[PMI]], [[FMD]], [[ACF]], [[FIG]], [[LAZ]] and [[BEN]].

However, it’s worth noting, the fucking monolines, [[SCA]], [[MBI]], [[ABK]], are sucking wind, thanks to a delay in the NYS proposed bailout. Perhaps the bailout stems from the lack of funds? Just a thought.

Look, we’re getting a nice overdue bounce back, especially in heavily shorted stocks. Make no mistake, we are in a bear market. On this bounce, instead of looking for long set ups, you should be looking for shorts.

In my opinion, the size of the recent decline is unimportant—to an extent. I will not be convinced the market is due to rally, unless weakness persists until mid to late February.

Sorry, but as gut wrenching the recent decline was, it was too short. For a real washout to occur, most of you bullish fuckers need to get debanked, entirely.

For now, I will wait for a cheaper prices to reenter [[SMN]], [[DUG]] and [[FXP]]. I will not average down in [[SKF]], unless it dips to $90 or below.

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The Recession is Over

So Cramer says it’s time to buy “early cycle stocks,” like shitty retailers or banks. He exclaims: “the worst they are, the better.”

I must admit, the recession of 2008 was plain ol’ vanilla gay. I mean, it had no teeth. During the entire recession, I witnessed only one soup line and three boarded up buildings. Other than that, my neighbor’s kept buying shit, without fear of job loss or house depreciation.

God willing, the next recession will bring some ol’ fashioned homelessness.

Bring back the soup lines and the low-end dock jobs.

Anyway, with regards to this market:

Following yesterday’s terrific bounce, I expect to see follow through. However, unlike other ‘tards, if I were giving advice to people who actually invested real money, as opposed to excess cash—post cocaine expenditures,  I’d suggest buying stocks with good fundamentals, such as [[CLX]], [[RIMM]], [[GILD]], [[FMCN]] or even [[VLO]].

Currently, as you know, I have a gigunta cash position, with a decent sized short position in the financials, via [[SKF]].

Listen to me: I will live this trade. I will not walk away from killing a few “early cycle” bank plays. My game plan includes sitting around, drinking some Monster Energy soda, taking short naps, going for egregious walks, then nibbling at SKF—until the banks fuck themselves, again.

Waiting for the proverbial “shoe to drop,” if you will.

Aside from that, I hate [[DECK]] and the assholes who buy their boots. I shoulda, woulda, coulda covered my short yesterday, when it was down $17. However, now I own the bitch, for better or for worse.

Finally, I may try my luck on a few long side trades, specifically within financials, despite hating them. I might hedge my hedges with [[UYG]] or worse [[SAW]].

Developing…

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Buy, Buy, Buy, Buy, Buy, Buy

Off we go like a motherfucking rocket ship.

I just got home and had a chatt [sic] with my neighbor, Steve. Dude, that guy is so fucking amped that Bernanke cut rates, coupled with Bush’s stimulus package, he just bought a new plasma. A.Brand.New.Plasma.

No kidding.

Aside from that, he’s telling me he just refinanced his house, “at significantly lower rates,” enabling him to tap that shit for a little vacation and Macy’s money.

I’m like, holy fuck, we’re gonna have a rocketship market soon. Clear the deck bitches, this market is ready to pop off, leaving every bear dead—like slugs in a salt mine.

Also, the retailers are going to take off. Shoot, forget about the “tapped out” consumer. All of a sudden, thanks to the proposed NYS bailout of [[MBI]] and [[ABK]], people are flooding my local Best Buy for the newest shit. Apparently, most of them were worried their muni insurance would go away.

Not any more.

And the banks, they’re enfuego. Everyone is refinancing. I mean everyone.

They’re so busy, my local Countrywide had to fire all of the lazy fuckers, because they were using up all the excess cocaine. As you know, excess cocaine allows the mortgage brokers to work 18 hours shifts, without lunch.

They’re just “banging out refi’s.”

A bearish friend of mine asked me: “hey Fly, what about all of the credit risk at the banks? And, how about all of the resets, while housing prices are dropping”?

I replied: “yo asshole, have you seen what the fuck is going on? Bernanke just shaved his beard on those subprime fuckers—giving them access to cheap rates again. And, with super low rates, all of those coked out mortgage workers can bang out a few million fresh mortgages for lower-middle income families, who desire 500-900k Mcmansions—effectively depleting all of the inventory at [[HOV]].

Yes, it’s that simple. Although things looked really tough for the past 3 weeks, everything is back on track.

Nasdaq 5,000 here we come!

Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy!!!

NOTE: That was one tough recession. I never want to go through that again. I’m so glad it’s over.

UPDATE: Classic CNBC.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGkrNJ19DSU 450 300]

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