FUCK YOUR MONEY

The United Steaks of America is truly a classic place to live, trimmed with all of the fuckery you’d expect from an empire on the decline. Do you really think these degenerates in Congress will not raise the debt limit? I mean, how stupid would that be and what purpose would it serve? You don’t take away the water when the house is burning. You are supposed to starve the fire of oxygen and douse it. All these idiots care about is getting elected and using the moronic tax payer to fund the projects of their corporate sponsors. Believe me, I am not hating on this particular form of oligarchy, since I rather enjoy it. But, do not think for a second that they care about you.

They most certainly do not.

The market is ripping tits to the upside and silver is down. If you are wondering how my day is going, just take a look at my cock: WNR. When it is up and vibrant, I am good. When it is down and depressed, I am punching people in the face with mustard gas. At the end of the day, plebs, everything has a way of working out.

Quick update for you Fly followers: Mortified by the cicada news from the south, our summer road trip to the land of pig and gravy has been postponed until next year. So, as you could imagine, this throws my road trip plans into flux. I did the whole New England thing last year. So, unless I am willing to drive into the Atlantic Ocean, it looks like I am heading west. Unfortunately, the midwest is filled with the most reprehensible creatures this country has to offer. For the most part, anything between Ohio and Wyoming is littered with pasty idiots, who either tip cows for Saturday night fun or pray to magical creators to kill all sinners through fire.

In short, I may just travel up to Canada and call it a day, eh?

NOTE: I am long lots of TLT

With the IMF actively raping people and Portugal on the front burner, I’d rather sit around the house all day, watching reruns, than fuck around with this murderhole of a market. I realize there is plenty of money to be made and I need to make up lost ground. However, these are not ideal conditions for me, so it’s better that I excuse myself, cordially, than make matters worse. At the present, more than half of my assets are tied up in cash and treasuries (long dated). The rest of my liquid assets are long refineries and flamboyant silver stocks.

Frankly, a lot of this stuff is making less sense, as time progresses. Silver is no longer trading with the dollar or gold. It’s just sort of winging it, dramatic opera style.

The market is afraid, but wants to go higher. It always “wants” to go higher. Remember that. However, there are periods of “rest” or consolidation that allow for insane clown raping rallies, later down the road. For the most part, I am all about insane clown raping rallies.

In short, I am waiting to see how the market responds to a bit of adversity, prior to reinvesting. In the meantime, I will build a list of stocks worth buying on dips.

NOTE: The Reformed Broker nails the Red Collared Crime Wave

The drop in the major indices is underway. Whether it will last for one week or one year is not relevant. The purpose of this blog is to tell you how to play it. A great man once said “I’m not selling you anything. I’m telling you everything.”

Lower equities means lower commodities.

SCO, ZSL, ERY and DUST will get the job done.

Also, banks, tech and real estate will get poleaxed. Get some:

FAZ, DRV and TYP

Volatility

TVIX or VXX

Long Treasuries

TLT or TMF

Long Dollars, Short Euro

UUP, EUO

Fuck China

FXP, CZI

Ladies and Gentlemen, regrettably, I am here to inform you the end of the world aka “The Mother of All Black Swans” is upon you. You will make a glorious amount of coin shorting stocks, and comically find yourself incinerated, all at the same time. You will be like “oh shit I’m rich,” then in the very next second you will get smashed in the skull with a cinder block, just prior to burning down to a cinder. It’s the comedy of all comedies, dying while at the apex of life, emotionally.

As for me, fortunately, I’ve secured proper seating inside of Space Station #3, located just north of Greenland. I depart tonight, by zeppelin, and will be blogging from there until you are reduced to a pile of ash.

Good night.

Big hat tip to ChessnWine for inventing the BTD. I’m stealing this shit, for it is too funny.

“I’m a terrible investor. I am probably the worst trader in the world, Maria. I am buying any commodity that is down. Whatever is down is a buy because Dr. Bernanke is an idiot. He has no idea what he is doing and he should resign now.”

-Jim “Bow Tie” Rogers

CEO of The Bow Tie Diaries (TBTD)

This just has the look and feel to a broken elevator market. I am not buying anything else until I get some real low PPT scores. Until then, I am 10% TLT, 40% cash and the rest in equities, with a little ZSL as a hedge. Silver was fucked today, with stocks lower but the ETF up. Go figure that one out.

All in all, it was another horrendous week and I am no longer in the jovial mood to talk about its many nuances.

Regardless of your disposition, this is a hard tape to trade, with various cross-currents mucking up sentiment. To hedge my overweight silver positions, I bought some ZSL. And, to park my 50% cash position, I took 10% of my assets and bought TLT aka “The Hugh Hendry.”

My stated goal is to slow down the beta, in order to not get blown to pieces. Therefore, it’s imperative that I live to fight another day.

The upside is obvious: this blip gets bought and everyone is back to sucking tits again. Or, perhaps this is the beginning of the ending, with commodities leading us down. Frankly, there is no way to know which way this market will turn. And, we certainly will not resolve these issues on a slow Friday afternoon. Therefore it makes sense to go to cash, hedge or trade quickly.

I bought ZSL, in an effort to bank coin.

And, I allocated 10% of my assets in “The Hugh Hendry” aka TLT

Too slow.

Back in 1996-2000, “The Fly” was quite the prolific internet stock investor. I was buying dot coms before any of my friends. Granted, I had little to no money and my ideas weren’t worth as much back then as they are now. But I knew the internet would represent something special, which is why I took my entire life savings at the time ($6,000) and bought AMER (if you don’t know what company that ticker represents, leave the site now). In less than 4 years, my 6k turned into 250k and I actually sold.

During the Asian crisis of ’97 and LTCM shit in ’98, I built my business from the ground up on stocks like SEEK, GCTY, ATHM and BYND. Actually, come to think about it, there was a point when my entire book was in BYND, albeit a very small book at that. I remember watching the markets decline, in horror, as my entire livelihood was invested in one stupid stock. I was leveraged to the hilt and accounts were getting pinged for margin liquidation. My timing could not have been better, as the market bottomed the fuck out and went straight up to Nasdaq 5,000. I had accounts that were 10% equity, at 4k, go to $200k inside of a year. For those of you who did not trade the dot com bubble, you missed out on the best market of all time.

I was so young, making so much money, literally, I did not know what to do with it. From the second I stepped into the office, I was busy writing tickets (back then, trades had to be done via ticket and walked over to the trading desk) There was no such thing as lunch and I didn’t go home until 11pm, every single night.

But then all that shit changed, when the markets crashed in 2000, utterly destroying  jerk offs like me ad hoc. I remember wiping out my entire personal trading account, inside of a few short weeks in May of 2000, just in time for my birthday. My wife and I were planning to buy a great big house and she had no idea what the fuck I was up to at work. Needless to say, we didn’t buy that great big house, as I descended into “broker poverty” and depression for the remainder of 2000-2001. From 2001-2003, I dedicated my career towards building assets, safely, which entailed fixed income and little to none equity investments. I was baptized through fire and didn’t want to be cold calling at 40. Literally, back then, a big win was 10%. Equities were to be shorted, never bought. There were some winners. However, they were hard to find, sifting through the Bloomberg terminal. Believe me, if I had access to The PPT back then, life would be exponentially easier.

In early 2003, I sensed a shift in sentiment. I remember the day when I decided to sell all of my fixed income and buy stocks. I specialized in semiconductors, being an avid reader of EETimes, The Gilder Report, Digi Times etc. That market was just as good as 2009 and it put me back on the map. I had a brief hiccup in early 2004, during the great semiconductor shake out in January of that year. But, for the most part, its been easy peasy since then. We had the crash in 2008 and that turned out well, for me at least. We are now almost 4 years removed from the greatest credit bubble in the history of mankind, yet the economy is still teetering.

Back in 2000, in the midst of the melt down, my friends Father told me “you’re fucked. This market will not get back to Nasdaq 5,000 for another 15 years.” I thought he was fucking nuts. However, here we are, 11 years later, and we are nowhere close to Nasdaq 5,000. Back then I was too stubborn and full of hubris to heed his dire warnings. I viewed him as an older guy, disconnected from the “new economy.” Little did I know, there is no such thing as a “new economy” or old. It’s the same shit, evolving over time, raping people along the way.

This market cannot be sustained at these levels, unless we get some more crack. We need that jumbo, in order to get high and bank coin in stocks. Dr. Bernanake, as the Big Headed man in the Bow Tie likes to call him, needs to consider QE3, else we will descend into the deflationary vortex, for the 5th time over the past 14 years.