Fly Buy: DPTR

Total Lotto here, with oil sprinting.

I bought 10,000, personal, $1.07ish.

In order to properly put you in my shoes, I’ve recorded the events or ongoings at Le Casa del Fly, over the past 12 hours, and posted them here for all to read. Enjoy.

9:00 pm (3/3/2010)

Fly: Honey, I just called Herb Greenberg, the man inside the television box, an asshat.

Mrs. Fly: Who is Herb Greenberg?

Fly: Oh, it doesn’t matter.

(several hours elapses)

1 am

Fly: (talking to the shadows near his favorite urinal) Hey, so what do you think of tomorrow’s jobs report? I’m thinking a smidge over 190k.

Urinal Shadow: Only pussies use the word “smidge.”

Fly: Fuck you asshole (punches urinal shadow in the face)

(Mrs Fly walks in)

Mrs. Fly: Why did you just punch the wall?

Fly: Oh nothing.

4am

Fly: (cordially reading over research reports, while laughing profusely)

5am

Fly: (tucks self into bed. Done for the night)

7am

(Alarm ringtone of artillery shells awakens Le Fly)

Mrs. Fly: Shut that nonsense off.

Fly: Quit hating.

Mrs. Fly: I’ll be back soon. The kids are gonna be late for school.

Fly: Don’t mind me, I’ll be prepping for the ever-so-important February jobs report.

Mrs. Fly: What’s that?

8am

(Fly showered, shaved and dressed)

Mrs. Fly: Why are you wearing a tuxedo and top hat, with a cane, while watching CNBC?

Fly: I mustn’t sully the importance of the February jobs report. Hey, hon, Herb Greenberg seems a little upset that I called him an Asshat last night.

Mrs. Fly: Who’s Herb Greenberg?

Fly: Nevermind. Hey, do we have pickles in the fridge?

Mrs. Fly: Yes. Why do you want pickles now, in the morning?

Fly: (awkward silence)

Mrs. Fly: I’m going upstairs.

8:25am

Fly: (talking to himself) Okay, I am all set, ready for the report. (He now begins to review a checklist) Proper dress code. Check! Bowl of fresh pickles, ready for consumption. Check! Favorite cologne. Check! Take a look at the ever so important Twitter steam to see what Herb Greenberg is up to. Check!

8:29am

Fly: (phone rings. It’s a colleague) Fuck you I’m busy. (hangs up)

(Fly begins to chew on pickles with fierce intensity)

8:30am

(jobs report is announced!)

Fly: (in the kitchen, getting a cup of coffee, away from television) What the fuck are they saying? I can’t hear shit with these pickles.

Mrs. Fly: Can you lower the tv? The entire neighborhood can hear your stupid CNBC.

Fly: (yells upstairs) I can’t hear anything. I’ve been chewing on these damn pickles and I missed what the imbeciles said on CNBC.

Mrs. Fly: You’re ridiculous.

Fly: (races over to living room to see report)

(CNBC cuts for a commercial)

Fly: WHAT THE FUCK!?! (throws bowl of pickles at his 60 inch LED-LCD tv)

Mrs. Fly: What’s going on down there?

Fly: Oh nothing.

Mr. Greenberg aka “The Grinch”

Okay, this has been irking me all day long, ever since I saw, much to my chagrin, this fucking retard spew bullshit on CNBC this afternoon, regarding OPEN. Look, if you want to talk shit about OPEN, say its p/s or FPE ratios are out of whack, just like the perpetual short CRM/AMZN crowd have been whining about for, oh I don’t know, 300% of upside now. But DO NOT go on the teevee and disseminate lies.

For example:

Brad Safalow, fucktard who writes for none other SEEKING MOTHERFUCKING ALPHA, as well as his own hovel Please Act Accordingly.com, claims Yelp and Urbanspoon are ardent and hard charging competitors to Opentable. Really? Are you sure about that pal?

Dated 6/3/2010 on Yelp’s blog:

If you’ve followed this blog long enough, you know that many of our product features are driven by user feedback. You probably also know that restaurants make up around 29% of the reviewed businesses on Yelp.

What you didn’t know is we’ve been hard at work integrating OpenTable into Yelp so our users can book reservations with ease. One click and BAM! It’s that easy.  Logged in Yelp users are now able to easily book a reservation using this feature and you don’t need to have an OpenTable account. Already have an OpenTable account? Groovy! If you used the same email account to set up your Yelp and OpenTable accounts – you’ll automatically receive credit to your OpenTable account, for your reservation — no need to log into both sites. We’ve got your back.

You fucking imbecile, Yelp is a partner of OPEN‘s. And, to top it off, the only relevant website that could ever threaten OPEN‘s dominance, Tripadvisor.com, have a partnership as well. He claims two other absurdities, during Herb “The Short Sellers Favorite Conduit” Greenberg’s softball interview, such as Urbanspoon being a competitor and get this: PEOPLE REVERTING BACK TO THE OLD FASHIONED WAY OF BOOKING RESERVATIONS, VIA CALLING THE RESTAURANT!!!!!

You cannot make this shit up. That’s like saying the internet is a fad or electricity will soon give way to the pleasures of wax candles.

First of all, people aren’t going back to the “old ways” Brad. And, lastly, Urbanspoon has booked just 50,000 seats, from a grand total of 150 eateries, since inception.That’s like comparing Joe’s Corner Coffee Shoppe to Starbux. Perhaps you should take a gander at OPEN‘s latest milestone, dated yesterday:

OpenTable seats 200 millionth diner; diners have spent approximately $8 billion at partner restaurant (85.21 )

Co announcs that it seated its 200 millionth cumulative diner during the first quarter. Diners seated via online reservations through OpenTable have now spent an estimated $8 billion at partner restaurants.

QED

OPEN goes to $175 by 2012.

Dastardly drop in gold/silver, while the market goose stepped higher. A person, such as myself, benefited a great deal from today’s market, as I salsa danced on the faces of my enemies— long OPEN (fuck you Herb), BORN (fuck you Citron), BZ, CENX, APC, FLWS, WFC, ADBE, FORM etc. I was up, get this, a little more than 3% aka “pissing on the heads of those who bet against me.”

I warned you that Chinese people like to drink “edible alcohol” vis a vis BORN. And, I am warning you again, the bastards who are running OPEN will unleash a fucking monster of a stock, over the next year. This monster will be so heinous, so egregious, it will grab people’s heads, with its giant claws, and squeeze them until they explode, like grapes. This monster will enable rich people, from around the world, to make reservations to fine dining resort locales without worry or confusion. Embrace the rich fat fucker and get some OPEN.

As an aside, I am now whole on my personal/aggressive account, looking to draw some blood in the coming days and weeks to come.

Top picks: BORN, OPEN, BZ, FLWS, ARO

I’ve been gifting you plebs with jewels of wisdom for 5 years now. Over the past 5 years, I’ve made money, consistently, without interruption. Knowing what you know about me (man travels in fucking space capsules, keeps time machine in bedroom closet etc), why the fuck do thou bet against me?

It’s fucking lunacy. Betting against me is like frantically playing with liquid nitroglycerin on a roller coaster. Fools, I done did crack the code.

Back to my space rocket.

I took my money and bought the above stocks. Fuck with me; lose your car.

UPDATE: I added to my OPEN position.

Futures are “going HAM” on the bears this morning. You haters don’t have a wooden leg to stand on here. We’re going up despite reason. Never try to convince a madman to vote democratically, for he is accustomed to stabbing people in the head for loose change.

BORN reported earnings, better than expected (.41 vs .38) They beat on revenue and have guided earnings above expectations to $1.67. Well, get your fucking calculators handy, ’cause this bitch is trading 7x earnings, while getting red Chinese drunk in the process. Dare I say this stock is worth at least $25? I mean, if this was an American company, there is no way it would be trading at $12.

I anticipate to make a great deal of money today, even though I have a 25% cash position. I sense the snowball rolling downhill, picking up mass and speed. Before you know it, an avalanche of buyers are in this bitch, overwhelming and clowning the shorts into submission.

Best ideas: retail. Look towards PSUN and ARO for starters.

(found 12 matches)
(Includes long and short, average volume > 25k. ETFs included.)

No. Ticker Industry 2-week Return
1 GPL Silver 56.16
2 CDE Silver 28.15
3 AG Silver 22.44
4 SLW Silver 20.86
5 EXK Silver 20.77
6 SSRI Silver 14.52
7 SIL Silver 14.43
8 PAAS Silver 13.71
9 SVM Silver 13.54
10 MVG Silver 7.53
11 HL Silver 2.50
12 MGN Silver 1.71

The above are the returns of silver stocks listed in The PPT, over the past two weeks! Unlike Senator Cement Head, who was saying to sell silver near recent lows and shit, I am suggesting to take profits and let the proceeds sit in cash. This, as you know, is conservative and responsible money management. Frankly, some of us are cut out for the job, others are better off sticking to dogmas.

Good day.

I’d be lying if I said “I know exactly what is going to happen over the next 48 hours,” so I won’t. The market is throwing out mixed signals. Therefore, I’ve put a freeze on all new buys and have opted to sip on high end champagne, whilst the market decides a clear direction.

You must understand, with today’s wins, “The Fly” is now up to the tune of 10%, highs for the year. I am conducting myself as any decent gentleman would, with dignity and honor. iBankCoin is the 5 star resort of this fucked up financial web, routing fuckers from Muddy Waters as if that shit made any sense in the first place (see CCME).

The bottom line: I am 25% cash, heavily long OPEN, APC, BORN and PSUN. My next move will be my greatest move of all time. Bank on it.

Whether I am early or exactly on time, it doesn’t matter. I have decided to take profits on my precious metal trades, based upon the laws of the rubberband. I still hold a minor position in EXK. However, with the majority of the proceeds, I went to cash. Speaking of which, my cash position is now 25%. Although I did nibble on some OPEN, ARO and PSUN, my cash horde is so much more impressive. You should see me now, marching on top of millions, ripping out vertebrae for sport.

On the subject of spines, BORN is scheduled to report earnings today. I have no idea what the numbers will look like. However, I do know Chinese people drink a lot. And, I do know that wealth creation correlates well with beverage consumption, so does rural to urban migration. All of these trends are in favor of BORN annihilating numbers. However, they’re Chinese, so who knows?

Since my last post, the shares of CCME erased a 15% deficit and are now up 3%.

Bottom line: “The Fly” is rotating, as planned. He endeavors to outstrip you in every sense of the word. Bet against him, lose your house, kids and ability to maintain an erection. Fuckers.