Welcome to The Great Spectacular of 2011

Come one, come all. Watch Senor Tropicana aka “Plutonium Petey” aka HORATIO CLAWHAMMER aka “The Fly” perform great feats of magic and amazement. Watch him, live, as he turns a small sum of money into a “fuck load” of cash, right before your very eyes. The Great Spectacular of 2011 is upon you and there is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

Backed by insane fundamentals, refiners gained ground again today, led by share advances in WNR, TSO and HOC. Let me tell you why people are short WNR: they are idiots. It’s the same reason why 25% of the shares of FTK were sold short @1. For the most part, money managers are just like you: weak and never in control. The difference between me and the others, Le Fly knows his shit and is guided by the stock Gods for the explicit purposes of creating wealth, on a grande scale.

As always, it’s not important that you agree with me, for you will have no choice but to respect my overcasting shadow. There will come a day, long from now, when you realize the type of mastery taking place on this here bullshit website. Everything posted here is done intentionally, down to the retarded music. It’s mathematical harmony being performed for all to bear witness. Compared to the shit slingers from other websites, you are in the company of living legends and do not even know it.

In closing, I gained another 1% today, pressing my gains to new highs. More impressively, my personal/aggressive account is now up north of 33%, full leveraged, not giving a fuck about anything but the margin rate.

Just make sure this snooze-fest doesn’t transform into some sort of fucked up noose-fest. For the most part, I am up today, thanks to my outsized WNR. However, most of my stocks are down, reversing lower after opening green. I fucking hate that.

Breadth is negative, with just 49% of stocks inside of The PPT green.

I don’t have a sense of urgency to do anything just yet. It’s early April and equities are supposed to trade up. Should we trade down for a few days, so be it.

In the interim, I will continue to accumulate refiners, as their prospects have never looked brighter. Did you know that WNR stands to make more $$ per barrel, in 2011-2012, than all domestic refiners? So, tell me, small pleb, WHY THE FUCK IS IT THE MOST HEAVILY SHORTED?

Answer: to be continued.

It’s time to eat 2 1/2 inch thick rib eyes, heavily salted, lightly peppered. It’s time to drink some single malt scotch, neat. For the love of God and small nuclear devices, it’s time to bank coin.

News doesn’t matter, especially when peace activists are deploying AC-130 gunships to kill and maim for humanitarian purposes. The world as you knew it, as a kid, is over. Welcome to the new world, one where FOXCONN murders people to manufacture the cheapest iPAD device, so that AAPL‘s share price can soar even higher. Welcome to the world of high oil prices, higher gasoline prices and ridiculous as the mustache on your girlfriends face corn prices, dominating the investment memes of billionaire cocaine addicts.

Essentially, the little guy is fucked. So, it is your jobby, as a tax evading citizen of this 3rd rate nation, sans military machine, to avoid being “the little guy.” Take whatever resources that you have available to you and multiply it many times over, investing in the stock market. It’s so easy, even a fireman could do it.

With my money, I love the oil story. For the month of April, historically, oil and gas stocks do very well.

Let me keep it simple for you. I am long OXY, WFT, WNR and VLO in great size. To go with that, I am long DAL, LCC, MWW, FORM, X etc. There are many stocks on my watchlist, like food safety play NEOG (think Japan) or oil sands equipment play WG. However, for now, considering the run we’ve had, I am sticking with my holdings and will be taking profits whenever my pet alligator snaps at my shoes.

There is no better swing trading service out there, bar none. I put my reputation on the line with both Chess and Rc, both top shelf traders who know how to trade and teach.

Fuck basketball. I am interested to see who is going to win the annual iBC March Madness contest.

As you can see, “The Fly” won the 1st annual contest, in order to set the tone. He has been letting you retards win ever since. However, this year’s contest is especially meaningful since it started with 256 participants. And, I am also gifting $1,000 to the winner.

This rally is really fizzing out here, with just 62% of stocks in The PPT universe up. It’s also worth noting, we are, once again, at extreme overbought conditions. However, don’t let that get you down. There is plenty of shit that can go higher in a weak market, like oil and refiners. Hell, for my personal account, I sold out of DAL and added to my WNR. I wanted to make it longer. Going into merger Monday, it’s always a smart idea to be long acquisition targets, like WNR.

At any rate, it’s not the end of the world if we totally wash out here. Life is good. Go eat some snails and wash it down with some sparkling wine.

It’s Friday. Quit micro-managing your fucking 4 figure accounts.

Top picks: WNR, WFT, MWW, OXY

NOTE: The March Madness contest is boiling down to “The Final Four.” Remember, the winner will receive $1,000 from me, no strings attached.

I’ve been busy counting all of my money. As you could imagine, it took my awhile. I wasn’t fucking around when I said “I am going to show you something spectacular.”

Full disclosure: I sold half of my WNR, only in my personal account, yesterday. I sold some in order to finance other purchases, namely MWW and WFT. As of now, I am saddled with a mere 75,000 shares, fully leveraged, riding my car made from dynamite into the sun.

April fools day suckers. America ain’t got no damn jobs. However, futures are up anyway and people are snorting long lines of cocaine off unemployment checks.

I got good news and bad news.

The good news is, the economy is on fire, likely creating 1 million jobs in February. The bad news is, you’re all gonna starve anyway. ROFLMAOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Corn

But I have a solution. As we speak, “The Fly” is drafting up a 50 page power-point presentation, Bill Ackman style, regarding my proposal to peg the dollar to the price of corn. In other words, yes, I am suggesting we go on “the corn standard.” I will present this detailed plan on CNBC, as soon as I am finished.

I am confident this plan will resonate with policy makers and bearded clams alike. For one, it will bring stability to our whacky, third world style currency. We can walk around in sheep’s skinned coats, comfortably knowing and bragging about our currency being backed by “hard, tangible assets.” We make shit here and will be the envy of the world.

Secondly, the Federal Reserve, backed by The First Bank of Corn, can always ask the First Bank of Corn to simply plant more corn. The more corn planted, the more money we will have (i.e. “rich as fuck”).

Third, we can walk around with nibblets in our pockets and either pay for shit or have an afternoon snack. Win, win.

Lastly, after the corn standard is installed, we can control government spending by demanding those fuckers on capitol hill “show us the corn.” No corn, no tomahawks. Plain and simple.

Failure to adhere to my plan will result in the eventual starvation of 75% of you corn can fuckers out there. So, I strongly suggest you support my “creamed corn” plan to prosperity, else your bones will soon be used to fertilize my corn crops.

To celebrate my 12% return for Q1 of 2011, I took my space rocket to the moon and took some footage to show you fuckers how it’s done.