Stock Trading Portfolio and Watchlist Management

Humbly trying to navigate my way through the stock exchange. Also, to eliminate confusion...I'm a dude.
Joined May 9, 2012
276 Blog Posts

Stock Trading Portfolio and Watchlist Management

Joined May 9, 2012
276 Blog Posts

Portfolio 02/21/13: BEARDED MANDATE

1,484 views

We all should have been aware that this brief “retreat” on the stock exchanges was a perfect opportunity to buy more shares of all of our favourite (sic) stocks and ETFs at reduced prices.  Looking at the futures this morning, I am seeing lots of green…big surprise.

The country was obviously starting to crumble at its very foundation upon the thought of three consecutive days of stock market losses.

Rumor has it that normally clean shaven men (and women…though I can’t speak to that) have been seen roaming the halls of the Federal Reserve, faces adorned with the first signs of stubble.  Evidently a mandate has been passed down from on high that, for the love of man and country, beards will be required for the foreseeable future as a sign of “solidarity” in the face of this latest economic calamity.  Members of the 1982 New York Islanders have been hired as consultants to help guide them through this transition.

As an aside, I would love to join in the cause, but Mrs. ElizaMae (an oxymoron, no?) has passed her own anti-beard mandate following the 2011 Super Bowl, stating that “growing a beard out of superstition is stupid idea” (forgive me, I’m paraphrasing a bit here).

My portfolio continued to receive clawhammers to the skull in quaint early-day trading yesterday, though things stabilized later in the day, but I still finished the day off by a decent margin.  Aside from my idiotic mistake of holding a full GTN position through earnings, an oversized position in MDY has been a significant contributor in the violent fluctuation in portfolio performance since Wednesday morning.  Here are some brief notes regarding my positions:

  • If my cost basis on ALJ wasn’t in the mid 20’s, I would be much more enthused by this pullback as a buying opportunity.  As it stands, I’m not all that eager to average down on an already underwater position, so I am more likely to wait this out than I am to buy more shares…probably to my detriment.
  • I really should be buying more shares of CBI, but earnings are next week and I’m more content to just hang on with what I currently own versus buying more, only to have to sell by next Wednesday.  Unless we are looking at an extended pullback here (and I don’t think that we are), data from The PPT suggests that this would be a good place to add.
  • There was some interesting post-earnings action yesterday in ESV.  Now that is out of the way, this could be a buyable dip, though I would like to see the range of prices lessen significantly before feeling better about adding shares.  My cost basis could be lowered nicely here, but I’m still feeling a little nervous following Wednesday’s bloodbath.
  • I am content with my positions in MRH, PCL and RWT and will just let the market do what it wants with them for the time being.  The patterns they have etched out with “markets in turmoil” are not those that I have a great amount of confidence in trading…so like I said, I’m going to sit and wait.

There are a number of other stocks that I am interested in buying…you will be the first to know if and when that should happen.  Try to contain your excitement.

-EM

Assessing the Damage (Top 10 List)

2
1,974 views

I was interested to see how this list would look after we finally received some selling in the market.

I’m amazed at how quickly the sentiment toward the economy shifts based purely on how the stock market is performing.  While that is great for what we do here, I’m growing increasingly concerned with how this perception is forcing the powers that be to continually prop the markets up.  Well, truth be told, I’m well beyond “growing increasingly concerned” to “I hope that it doesn’t hit the fan while my kids are still really young”…but that could just be the paranoid parent speaking.

Anyway, enough “jawboning”, let’s get on with it:

Stock, Watch Price

10. CNO, 11.10

09. EWBC, 25.10

08. GDOT, 14.80

07. CLMT, 37.00

06. GE, 23.60

05. ACAS, 13.90

 

04. MBFI, 23.40

03. CBI, 52.40

02. RWT, 19.40

01. MDP, 38.10

-EM

Portfolio 02/20/13: EMASCULATED

990 views

So much for keeping a relatively large cash position.

So much for choosing a nice mixture of high, mid and low beta stocks.

So much for dutifully taking profits on positions that are up as a form of protection.

So much for checking major finance websites upon buying shares to make sure that I’m not holding a large position into earnings.

It is all folly.

I gave back MORE THAN HALF of my YTD gains in a session that was fitting for the general atmosphere surrounding my life yesterday.  Sure, things could be much much worse.  However, I have spent so much time crafting this portfolio with such a conservative bent, that I thought I could sidestep such egregious losses in a single day.

Walking up the stairs for almost two months, slowly moving ahead to +2.5%, and more than half of that is gone in a day?  It certainly makes one question what all of this is for.

We all think that we can “beat” the market…dreams of making “Maybach money”, buying 1.725 million dollar 2 bedroom, 2 bath condos, but then we realize that this is all one big (I’m really really tempted to start using some fouled language here…) joke and we are the punchline.  Nevertheless, I shall carry on in my most masochistic manner, cutting losses, trying to eke out miniscule gains and using this “dip” as a buying opportunity

Obviously one day of heinous losses will not deter me and this blog will carry on…mostly as a forum for your entertainment, because it certainly is not for the benefit of my financial well being.

I see no reason to try and rationalize with my positions after yesterday.  I have my stops in place and I shall adhere to them should they be reached.

BEHOLD THE FOLLY:

Note, I sold a bunch of ESV at 63.15 near the close yesterday in preparation for the earnings release prior to today’s open.  Let me translate what this means for you: they will crush it and the stock will rip.

-EM

Portfolio Bludgeoning, aka Sell: $GTN

4
485 views

Thanks in part to Yahoo Finance initially reporting (when I started the position) that GTN was to report earnings on 2/25 and part due to my own stupidity for not checking multiple sources (or rechecking with Yahoo, as it were), I have taken a most heinous loss in GTN this morning, selling at 3.29 (from an average of 4.36).  Seems fitting, considering my physical well being.

This is why, unless it is your primary strategy, you don’t play with earnings, kiddos.

Blech.

-EM

Portfolio 02/19/13

3
550 views

Instead of regaling you with tales from the House of “ElizaMae” aka: The Infirmary, lets speak for a moment about the current state of affairs on the stock exchange and how it relates to my portfolio.

Last winter I missed out on the incredible move in AAPL…errrr the stock exchange, from October – March.

In 2013, I was not to make the same mistake.  After “solving” the fiscal cliff, the only trade was to go long.  To my detriment (in performance only), I have remained relatively cash heavy throughout this perpetual melt up.  Not out of being defensive mind you, rather because I was implementing a new strategy and am waiting for the setups to come to me.

As an aside,  I think “paper trading” is a bunch of baloney (aka “jumbo”, for those of you familiar with the Western PA colloquialism).  You can never experience the pain of losing through paper losses.  If you have ideas, start with small positions to test your theories.  Make sure that you can scale them into larger positions should they prove to be successful.

Leading back into commentary about my portfolio, this is the essence of why my cash has been “heavy” and my positions “light”.  Granted, it is not difficult to gain confidence when EVERYTHING goes up every day.

I am 100% sure there are new geniuses anointed amongst the pikers on Twitter each and every day with their epic “calls” of market winship.

Nevertheless, we have been in the sweet spot for a while, my only hope is that my fellow compatriots here have benefited from this incredibly easy market and can realize some gains.  It won’t last forever, so “get it while the gettin’s good”.

Some notes regarding my positions:

  • Since breaking through 20, ALJ has used that level as support on two occasions now.  If you have read my blog with any frequency, you know that I respect the power of round numbers.  I think this is meaningful in either direction (support, or if it breaks below 20 with emphasis on a closing basis).
  • CBI continues to “sashay” higher, and I continue to sell off parts of my position to lock in profits.  I am comfortable letting the remaining shares that I have run for now and will look to buy this stock back on dips.  If you follow these updates and/or are a subscriber to The PPT, you will know when a good time to buy/add to this name.  Earnings are next Wednesday (2/27).
  • I wasn’t able to have my limit sell order filled in ESV last Thursday and then had to sit by and watch the stock retreat on Friday.  Yesterday provided me another opportunity to  realize some gains (at an even better price than I had originally tried to sell at), and I did just that.  This afternoon I will continue to reduce my position as ESV reports earnings before the bell tomorrow (2/21).
  • From the looks of the daily chart, I was a day early on my GTN add.  I really like this stock here. UPDATE: DAMN YOU TO HELL YAHOO FINANCE FOR INITIALLY TELLING ME THAT EARNINGS WERE ON 2/25.  My apologies for the tenor.
  • MDY is doing exactly what it is supposed to be doing, namely, giving me significant exposure to a segment of the general market.  This is the anti-EEM this month.
  • I may look to add to my boring MRH position on this consolidation.  Having locked in a nice profit prior to earnings and being nicely in “the void”, I feel good about adding some exposure here.
  • PCL finally perked up yesterday, but I’m not going to read much into it until it breaks higher (>49) or lower (<47).
  • RWT is overdue for a pause and I will look to add should that opportunity present itself.

-EM

Portfolio Sell: $ESV

334 views

I sold off about 20% of my $ESV position at 65.37 (from 63.64) as a preemptive measure toward lightening up into earnings which are scheduled for Thursday.

-EM

Portfolio Sell: $CBI

246 views

I took a little more off of my CBI position this morning at 54.55 (from 50.85) to lock in a few more bucks profit.  I still hold over 50% of my original shares in the name and will look to add more on a pullback.  Earnings are next Wednesday, so I’ll likely wait until after that event to add.

-EM

Portfolio 02/15/13

1
411 views

Getting sick sucks.  Getting sick while having to take care of 2 young kids (who are also sick) sucks exponentially worse.

I have little time or energy to write a thoughtful post this morning, so I will present you with a portfolio update as of Friday:

-EM

Best of “The Fly” 02/11-02/15

282 views

MIKE PIAZZA IS A COWARD

“The Japanese economic minister all but said the government is manipulating stocks and would like to see the NIKKEI at 13,000 within a few weeks. Why, that’s only a 17% lift from here, in the world’s 3rd largest economy. “

“What the hell is going on here? Have people lost their minds, all at once?”

Wall Street is Minting Coin Again

“Don’t be that guy, the homosexual at the cocked-tail party who proclaims doom and gloom is upon us. Even if it were true, no one wants to hear it. Successful people are attracted to positivity. It’s too hard to get the short trade right for the average millionaire, whose sole interest is to outperform the S&P. If that’s your stated goal, look no further than the asset managers”

Guaranteed to Win

“90% of the “hard part” is showing up and not doing anything stupid. I am avoiding outlier stocks like the god-damned black plague. I want nothing to do with a stupid stock that can’t go up in the midst of this lunacy. If your portfolio was down today, shoot yourselves in the freakin’ head.”

ENTER KURODA!

“The fact of the matter is, as the Chinese build phantom cities to keep their pathetically poor vagrant farmer class content and away from the pitched fork, the Japanese are living a life of luxury, with unemployment in Japan at its lowest level since 1999.”

Housing is About to Take Another Leg Up

“There is no better way to play the housing recovery than wall board. Warren Buffett knows it and will likely buy the remainder of USG, keeping its future profits to himself.

Why don’t you?

Get your heads out from the pickle jars and buy a house.”

IT’S TIME TO SHUT YOUR BIG, FAT, STUPID, FACES

“A pathetic man once said “officer, some man in a black cloak just walked in here, with a giant bowling ball, and threw it at all of us, knocking us into the back of the lane.””

Intent on Milking the Stupid Farmers

“We are now in the planting season, small men reading the internets. Last year farmers received rail spikes through their stupid faces, thanks to mother nature bestowing dust bowls upon their property and livelihood.

To be clear, nitrogen and potash are going to be needed in great quantity this year, to stave off catastrophe. Yields need to be better this year, else prices are going up again. The Chicken Gods and King Obama will not like that.”

AVOIDING THE PANIC

“Panic is our #1 enemy. It is the very worst characteristic of man. It makes us do things we would never do under normal circumstances. When panic sets in, our brains turn off and we transform into cavemen, cannibals even, fighting for survival like stark raving mad lunatics. Pray tell me, if the majority of man believes in God and the afterlife, why do they become so desperate to save their lives?”

The Amazing Market

“The point that I am trying to make is– don’t limit your horizon to the view from your window. Sure, the volume stinks and not every sector is ripping. But we’re steadily climbing higher, while volatility and bonds get crushed. This is the proverbial sweet spot of investing.

From refiners to airlines, there have been countless winners. Find the next winner, or at least try your hardest. I know I will.”

The Gentleman’s Guide to a Happy Valentine’s Day

“Remember, once you discard or divorce your present valentine, you can always execute a “claw-back” and resell the diamonds for at or near cost.”

Love is in the Air

“Old man Buffett is buying ketchup. He’s a cynical type. Perhaps the government will begin inserting drugs in our ketchup, in order to maintain a docile mob. Either way, I think it’s fair to say mergers and acquisitions are back.”

SHORT CARNIVAL CRUISE TO ZERO

“If I was on that ship (“The Fly” doesn’t travel on cruise ships, but privately owned aircraft carriers), I’d sue CCL until every single member of their counsel died. I’d sue them for the rest of my life, for an unprecedented amount of money. With the wins, I’d take the money and short more CCL–until it hit $00.00.”

IT’S OFFICIAL: CARL ICAHN IS GOING TO DESTROY BILL ACKMAN

“What’s more dangerous than a 76 year old man with $15 billion in the market, hell bent on putting you out of business? Let’s face it, Carl isn’t going to quit. He just made $600 million saving NFLX; now he’s going to place Bill “Mars Attacks” Ackman inside of a “Brazen Bull” to see him cook–ever so slowly.”

ANNOUNCEMENT: “The Fly” is Making a Big Bet

“With today’s buys, I am now at a record 140% long, meaning I am heavily levered to the upside. I am putting my money where my mouth is, foot firmly pressed down on a gas pedal inside of car made from dynamite sticks–headed for the sun.  I intend to maintain a constant and belligerent state of warfare against all sellers, good and bad, until tax day.”

Stock Trading Portfolio and Watchlist Management

Humbly trying to navigate my way through the stock exchange. Also, to eliminate confusion...I'm a dude.
Joined May 9, 2012
276 Blog Posts

Stock Trading Portfolio and Watchlist Management

Joined May 9, 2012
276 Blog Posts

Portfolio 02/21/13: BEARDED MANDATE

1,484 views

We all should have been aware that this brief “retreat” on the stock exchanges was a perfect opportunity to buy more shares of all of our favourite (sic) stocks and ETFs at reduced prices.  Looking at the futures this morning, I am seeing lots of green…big surprise.

The country was obviously starting to crumble at its very foundation upon the thought of three consecutive days of stock market losses.

Rumor has it that normally clean shaven men (and women…though I can’t speak to that) have been seen roaming the halls of the Federal Reserve, faces adorned with the first signs of stubble.  Evidently a mandate has been passed down from on high that, for the love of man and country, beards will be required for the foreseeable future as a sign of “solidarity” in the face of this latest economic calamity.  Members of the 1982 New York Islanders have been hired as consultants to help guide them through this transition.

As an aside, I would love to join in the cause, but Mrs. ElizaMae (an oxymoron, no?) has passed her own anti-beard mandate following the 2011 Super Bowl, stating that “growing a beard out of superstition is stupid idea” (forgive me, I’m paraphrasing a bit here).

My portfolio continued to receive clawhammers to the skull in quaint early-day trading yesterday, though things stabilized later in the day, but I still finished the day off by a decent margin.  Aside from my idiotic mistake of holding a full GTN position through earnings, an oversized position in MDY has been a significant contributor in the violent fluctuation in portfolio performance since Wednesday morning.  Here are some brief notes regarding my positions:

  • If my cost basis on ALJ wasn’t in the mid 20’s, I would be much more enthused by this pullback as a buying opportunity.  As it stands, I’m not all that eager to average down on an already underwater position, so I am more likely to wait this out than I am to buy more shares…probably to my detriment.
  • I really should be buying more shares of CBI, but earnings are next week and I’m more content to just hang on with what I currently own versus buying more, only to have to sell by next Wednesday.  Unless we are looking at an extended pullback here (and I don’t think that we are), data from The PPT suggests that this would be a good place to add.
  • There was some interesting post-earnings action yesterday in ESV.  Now that is out of the way, this could be a buyable dip, though I would like to see the range of prices lessen significantly before feeling better about adding shares.  My cost basis could be lowered nicely here, but I’m still feeling a little nervous following Wednesday’s bloodbath.
  • I am content with my positions in MRH, PCL and RWT and will just let the market do what it wants with them for the time being.  The patterns they have etched out with “markets in turmoil” are not those that I have a great amount of confidence in trading…so like I said, I’m going to sit and wait.

There are a number of other stocks that I am interested in buying…you will be the first to know if and when that should happen.  Try to contain your excitement.

-EM

Assessing the Damage (Top 10 List)

2
1,974 views

I was interested to see how this list would look after we finally received some selling in the market.

I’m amazed at how quickly the sentiment toward the economy shifts based purely on how the stock market is performing.  While that is great for what we do here, I’m growing increasingly concerned with how this perception is forcing the powers that be to continually prop the markets up.  Well, truth be told, I’m well beyond “growing increasingly concerned” to “I hope that it doesn’t hit the fan while my kids are still really young”…but that could just be the paranoid parent speaking.

Anyway, enough “jawboning”, let’s get on with it:

Stock, Watch Price

10. CNO, 11.10

09. EWBC, 25.10

08. GDOT, 14.80

07. CLMT, 37.00

06. GE, 23.60

05. ACAS, 13.90

 

04. MBFI, 23.40

03. CBI, 52.40

02. RWT, 19.40

01. MDP, 38.10

-EM

Portfolio 02/20/13: EMASCULATED

990 views

So much for keeping a relatively large cash position.

So much for choosing a nice mixture of high, mid and low beta stocks.

So much for dutifully taking profits on positions that are up as a form of protection.

So much for checking major finance websites upon buying shares to make sure that I’m not holding a large position into earnings.

It is all folly.

I gave back MORE THAN HALF of my YTD gains in a session that was fitting for the general atmosphere surrounding my life yesterday.  Sure, things could be much much worse.  However, I have spent so much time crafting this portfolio with such a conservative bent, that I thought I could sidestep such egregious losses in a single day.

Walking up the stairs for almost two months, slowly moving ahead to +2.5%, and more than half of that is gone in a day?  It certainly makes one question what all of this is for.

We all think that we can “beat” the market…dreams of making “Maybach money”, buying 1.725 million dollar 2 bedroom, 2 bath condos, but then we realize that this is all one big (I’m really really tempted to start using some fouled language here…) joke and we are the punchline.  Nevertheless, I shall carry on in my most masochistic manner, cutting losses, trying to eke out miniscule gains and using this “dip” as a buying opportunity

Obviously one day of heinous losses will not deter me and this blog will carry on…mostly as a forum for your entertainment, because it certainly is not for the benefit of my financial well being.

I see no reason to try and rationalize with my positions after yesterday.  I have my stops in place and I shall adhere to them should they be reached.

BEHOLD THE FOLLY:

Note, I sold a bunch of ESV at 63.15 near the close yesterday in preparation for the earnings release prior to today’s open.  Let me translate what this means for you: they will crush it and the stock will rip.

-EM

Portfolio Bludgeoning, aka Sell: $GTN

4
485 views

Thanks in part to Yahoo Finance initially reporting (when I started the position) that GTN was to report earnings on 2/25 and part due to my own stupidity for not checking multiple sources (or rechecking with Yahoo, as it were), I have taken a most heinous loss in GTN this morning, selling at 3.29 (from an average of 4.36).  Seems fitting, considering my physical well being.

This is why, unless it is your primary strategy, you don’t play with earnings, kiddos.

Blech.

-EM

Portfolio 02/19/13

3
550 views

Instead of regaling you with tales from the House of “ElizaMae” aka: The Infirmary, lets speak for a moment about the current state of affairs on the stock exchange and how it relates to my portfolio.

Last winter I missed out on the incredible move in AAPL…errrr the stock exchange, from October – March.

In 2013, I was not to make the same mistake.  After “solving” the fiscal cliff, the only trade was to go long.  To my detriment (in performance only), I have remained relatively cash heavy throughout this perpetual melt up.  Not out of being defensive mind you, rather because I was implementing a new strategy and am waiting for the setups to come to me.

As an aside,  I think “paper trading” is a bunch of baloney (aka “jumbo”, for those of you familiar with the Western PA colloquialism).  You can never experience the pain of losing through paper losses.  If you have ideas, start with small positions to test your theories.  Make sure that you can scale them into larger positions should they prove to be successful.

Leading back into commentary about my portfolio, this is the essence of why my cash has been “heavy” and my positions “light”.  Granted, it is not difficult to gain confidence when EVERYTHING goes up every day.

I am 100% sure there are new geniuses anointed amongst the pikers on Twitter each and every day with their epic “calls” of market winship.

Nevertheless, we have been in the sweet spot for a while, my only hope is that my fellow compatriots here have benefited from this incredibly easy market and can realize some gains.  It won’t last forever, so “get it while the gettin’s good”.

Some notes regarding my positions:

  • Since breaking through 20, ALJ has used that level as support on two occasions now.  If you have read my blog with any frequency, you know that I respect the power of round numbers.  I think this is meaningful in either direction (support, or if it breaks below 20 with emphasis on a closing basis).
  • CBI continues to “sashay” higher, and I continue to sell off parts of my position to lock in profits.  I am comfortable letting the remaining shares that I have run for now and will look to buy this stock back on dips.  If you follow these updates and/or are a subscriber to The PPT, you will know when a good time to buy/add to this name.  Earnings are next Wednesday (2/27).
  • I wasn’t able to have my limit sell order filled in ESV last Thursday and then had to sit by and watch the stock retreat on Friday.  Yesterday provided me another opportunity to  realize some gains (at an even better price than I had originally tried to sell at), and I did just that.  This afternoon I will continue to reduce my position as ESV reports earnings before the bell tomorrow (2/21).
  • From the looks of the daily chart, I was a day early on my GTN add.  I really like this stock here. UPDATE: DAMN YOU TO HELL YAHOO FINANCE FOR INITIALLY TELLING ME THAT EARNINGS WERE ON 2/25.  My apologies for the tenor.
  • MDY is doing exactly what it is supposed to be doing, namely, giving me significant exposure to a segment of the general market.  This is the anti-EEM this month.
  • I may look to add to my boring MRH position on this consolidation.  Having locked in a nice profit prior to earnings and being nicely in “the void”, I feel good about adding some exposure here.
  • PCL finally perked up yesterday, but I’m not going to read much into it until it breaks higher (>49) or lower (<47).
  • RWT is overdue for a pause and I will look to add should that opportunity present itself.

-EM

Portfolio Sell: $ESV

334 views

I sold off about 20% of my $ESV position at 65.37 (from 63.64) as a preemptive measure toward lightening up into earnings which are scheduled for Thursday.

-EM

Portfolio Sell: $CBI

246 views

I took a little more off of my CBI position this morning at 54.55 (from 50.85) to lock in a few more bucks profit.  I still hold over 50% of my original shares in the name and will look to add more on a pullback.  Earnings are next Wednesday, so I’ll likely wait until after that event to add.

-EM

Portfolio 02/15/13

1
411 views

Getting sick sucks.  Getting sick while having to take care of 2 young kids (who are also sick) sucks exponentially worse.

I have little time or energy to write a thoughtful post this morning, so I will present you with a portfolio update as of Friday:

-EM

Best of “The Fly” 02/11-02/15

282 views

MIKE PIAZZA IS A COWARD

“The Japanese economic minister all but said the government is manipulating stocks and would like to see the NIKKEI at 13,000 within a few weeks. Why, that’s only a 17% lift from here, in the world’s 3rd largest economy. “

“What the hell is going on here? Have people lost their minds, all at once?”

Wall Street is Minting Coin Again

“Don’t be that guy, the homosexual at the cocked-tail party who proclaims doom and gloom is upon us. Even if it were true, no one wants to hear it. Successful people are attracted to positivity. It’s too hard to get the short trade right for the average millionaire, whose sole interest is to outperform the S&P. If that’s your stated goal, look no further than the asset managers”

Guaranteed to Win

“90% of the “hard part” is showing up and not doing anything stupid. I am avoiding outlier stocks like the god-damned black plague. I want nothing to do with a stupid stock that can’t go up in the midst of this lunacy. If your portfolio was down today, shoot yourselves in the freakin’ head.”

ENTER KURODA!

“The fact of the matter is, as the Chinese build phantom cities to keep their pathetically poor vagrant farmer class content and away from the pitched fork, the Japanese are living a life of luxury, with unemployment in Japan at its lowest level since 1999.”

Housing is About to Take Another Leg Up

“There is no better way to play the housing recovery than wall board. Warren Buffett knows it and will likely buy the remainder of USG, keeping its future profits to himself.

Why don’t you?

Get your heads out from the pickle jars and buy a house.”

IT’S TIME TO SHUT YOUR BIG, FAT, STUPID, FACES

“A pathetic man once said “officer, some man in a black cloak just walked in here, with a giant bowling ball, and threw it at all of us, knocking us into the back of the lane.””

Intent on Milking the Stupid Farmers

“We are now in the planting season, small men reading the internets. Last year farmers received rail spikes through their stupid faces, thanks to mother nature bestowing dust bowls upon their property and livelihood.

To be clear, nitrogen and potash are going to be needed in great quantity this year, to stave off catastrophe. Yields need to be better this year, else prices are going up again. The Chicken Gods and King Obama will not like that.”

AVOIDING THE PANIC

“Panic is our #1 enemy. It is the very worst characteristic of man. It makes us do things we would never do under normal circumstances. When panic sets in, our brains turn off and we transform into cavemen, cannibals even, fighting for survival like stark raving mad lunatics. Pray tell me, if the majority of man believes in God and the afterlife, why do they become so desperate to save their lives?”

The Amazing Market

“The point that I am trying to make is– don’t limit your horizon to the view from your window. Sure, the volume stinks and not every sector is ripping. But we’re steadily climbing higher, while volatility and bonds get crushed. This is the proverbial sweet spot of investing.

From refiners to airlines, there have been countless winners. Find the next winner, or at least try your hardest. I know I will.”

The Gentleman’s Guide to a Happy Valentine’s Day

“Remember, once you discard or divorce your present valentine, you can always execute a “claw-back” and resell the diamonds for at or near cost.”

Love is in the Air

“Old man Buffett is buying ketchup. He’s a cynical type. Perhaps the government will begin inserting drugs in our ketchup, in order to maintain a docile mob. Either way, I think it’s fair to say mergers and acquisitions are back.”

SHORT CARNIVAL CRUISE TO ZERO

“If I was on that ship (“The Fly” doesn’t travel on cruise ships, but privately owned aircraft carriers), I’d sue CCL until every single member of their counsel died. I’d sue them for the rest of my life, for an unprecedented amount of money. With the wins, I’d take the money and short more CCL–until it hit $00.00.”

IT’S OFFICIAL: CARL ICAHN IS GOING TO DESTROY BILL ACKMAN

“What’s more dangerous than a 76 year old man with $15 billion in the market, hell bent on putting you out of business? Let’s face it, Carl isn’t going to quit. He just made $600 million saving NFLX; now he’s going to place Bill “Mars Attacks” Ackman inside of a “Brazen Bull” to see him cook–ever so slowly.”

ANNOUNCEMENT: “The Fly” is Making a Big Bet

“With today’s buys, I am now at a record 140% long, meaning I am heavily levered to the upside. I am putting my money where my mouth is, foot firmly pressed down on a gas pedal inside of car made from dynamite sticks–headed for the sun.  I intend to maintain a constant and belligerent state of warfare against all sellers, good and bad, until tax day.”

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