18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,622 Blog Posts

BEHOLD: Another Grande Winning Streak Approaches

Shut the fuck up.

Here were my fish from yesterday.

X +4.5%
GNC +12%
MARK +17.6%
SIG +9.1%
NYMT +2.8%
RUBI +2%
FRSX +9%
AMC +6.4%
BZUN -wash

All of those fish on top of the previous days fish place me 23 for my last 25, my only loss being FAZ x2. Stock picking game is on point and of course 100% fire. You can go into the kitchen yourself and try to whip up something to eat. Or, you can sit down and eat the fish you are served. The choice is yours.

Market reversal looks nasty, both tech and oil in the dumps — black candles everywhere. I am 90% cash.

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Not Fearful of Buying Into COLLAPSE

I am closing out my day 45% cash, the rest long a sundry of low brow momentum stocks. This portfolio I’ve concocted deserves to the whipped across the gibbet. But I am not afraid. Nothing can stop me and my gains are ordained by God himself. There is nothing in the way of MOAR and greatness is something all of us can claim title to and enjoy the fruits of no labor.

The market is showing some weakness in tech late day — BUT FEAR NOT — because everything else is fine. If you are selling short here, you are all but guaranteed to be made into a fool. Everything you learned in school and at your firm is meaningless now. Present market conditions only value the power of MOAR. Do you understand what I am saying to you?

The summer climes are here again and gentry of the south do not wear masks and cough on one another because only God can grant COVID-19 to people, not blue state FAGLORDS. Plus anyway, we all know CORONAHOAX and how all of the sick died from other ailments. They are all crisis actors, paid by GEORGE SOROS, who is merely creating GLOBAL DEPRESSION just to elect Joe Biden.

I wish I had more insightful things to say, other than “just rest easy and sloppily and buy shit stocks” but that’s exactly what I prescribe you do now.


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Thank You Mr. Trump For This Great Big Beautiful Stock Market

It looked a little dire a few weeks back. But then Trump got our his whip and slashed Powell across the back with it and made him reduce rates and buy it all. Heck, they even own Hertz bonds now in bankruptcy. This is the new normal people — nonstop incessant feverish melt ups in between periods of rest designed to lure in FOOLS back into the fold for expeditious annihilation.

You can point your crooked fingers at a lot of things done wrong by Trump. He’s mainly crazy, but for the market — crazy is in fact good. I have no doubt in my mind his megalomanic personality has gifted us 10,000 Dow points. By summer of 2016, we were BARRELING lower without seatbelts. Now look at us, fully erect and ready to blow thru record highs amidst 40% unemployment.

For the balance of my day, I intend to unwind my hedge and get long some real degenerate shit for an overnight ripper.

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I’ve Been Trading Shit Stocks For Some Time Now

I am 13 for my last 13. Although reticent and extremely careful not to be wholly in, I’ve been trading piece of shit stocks for some time now. I’ve established quite the comfort zone in the stocks of ill repute, the underbelly of capitalism. They are neither here or there. They aren’t real or fake — just emotion running wild.

EB +7%
SOXS +1.5% x3
VTIQ +9.2%
MARK +5.5%
RVLV +7.6%
ZFGN +24.4%
ZIOP +4.1%
SONO +1.8%
HTBX +9.7%
ORGS +3.6%
LK +16.1%

The last one I just took 15 mins ago in Exodus and kicked it out for a spectacular gain. Don’t envy me just yet. As I write this I am getting ready to visit the fucking BENZ dealership for another $3k fix and my fridge and dishwasher broke last week, as I am cursed in all manners except stocks. This is the way the Gods tease me. I am nothing but a blunt instrument for finance, and perhaps blogging. Other than that, I lost my hair when I was in my early 30s.

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Dow Futs Explode Higher; America is Open Again

The cliches are so absurd they do not deserve repeating. Nonetheless, Dow futs are up 280, NASDAQ +120 and there is nothing we can do about it, as they market is closed to observe my birthday.

My gift to you of you tomorrow will be a half dozen slimy fish served in a newspaper, first thing tomorrow. I hope you enjoy seafood for breakfast.


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Hang Seng Crashes Again Amidst Chinese-American Row Over Hong Kong

Quick rundown.

China is trying to pass new laws in HK that all but eliminates the country. People in Hong Kong are going APE SHIT and protests are resuming. Trump is equally perturbed, threatening sanctions on China should they go ahead with the new laws. Taiwan, another ARCHED ENEMY of China, just said they would provide the people of HK with assistance, if needed.

This of course is an issue of national sovereignty and the right of the people of Hong Kong to rule themselves. Will they muster up the STEEL to rule themselves and defeat their Chinese overlords — or will America intervene and get fucked in another Asian theatre?

One thing is for certain, the Hang Seng does not like it one damn bit — presently down 1.5% and sinking.

US futs don’t give a shit, presently +18.

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You Just Bore Witness to the Largest Short Squeeze of All Time

None of it made sense, which is why it happened so viciously. The global economy stopped dead in its tracks, due to a deadly contagion, and stocks rallied because of it. Barely anyone can tell you with a straight face things are going back to the way they used to be — but it doesn’t seem to matter — at least not yet.

Word of advice, look for distribution days. The good olde boys club won again and will now reopen the economy and take refuge at their summer homes, while the plebs seek adventure on cruise ships and “amusement parks”, public pools, get sick and drop dead. A second wave is already happening in areas of the country filled with flu-bros and hydroxyFAGS, including my state of NC.

While I do believe we will trade higher on Tuesday, I also believe, rather fervently, we will RETEST THE LOWS and much much more. Time has been short and the violence of the counter-intuitive nature of the rally will dissipate. In its place, by fall, will be apathy — global depression, and indifference. Once the violence ends, so will the rally.

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And the Melt Ups Continue — Cheers from House Fly

It was a typical day on Wall — morning fade led by foam mouthed buyers. I closed out my SOXS trade for +1.5% and went long a sundry of wonderfully horrible stocks. The net result, as you could imagine, was winship — on a scale you’ve rarely seen and most definitely have never personally endeavored to achieve.

Today’s gains.

SOXS +1.5% x3
VTIQ +9.2%
MARK +5.5%
RVLV +7.6%

Admittedly, MARK ran 10% after I sold — but we do not look back and we never regret anything we do. It is what it is and we don’t give a shit.

Into the closing hours of trade, I hedged and simultaneously bought a HEAP of shit. I closed out the day 55% cash — careful not to fuck myself — but aggressive enough to truly make a dent in my portfolio. When trading small capped stocks of low integrity, it’s important to have methods and rational thoughts. Only if I could share these ideas with you — why you could make some money on your own without assistance. However, that is not the case, for I do not TEACH ANYONE HOW TO TRADE. I feed people fish. Would you approach a neurosurgeon without any medical experience and say “teach me how to operate on brains?”

Of course you wouldn’t, so quit asking me to teach you how to trade.

Enjoy the weekend and be sure to celebrate my birthday, coinciding with the reopening of the economy. Maybe envelop yourselves with the prose of Le Fly via the purchase of his two AWARD WINNING books. Or, dare I say, consume some of the iBC Merch — maybe a Merlin mug or two, alongside ANNUAL Exodus plans for all of your loved ones. Either way you decide to reward House Fly for its unbelievable efforts, I tip my hat.


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Stubborn Market Doesn’t Want to Trade Lower

Rule #1 in the short sellers handbook says “Ye shall not short boring stocks that do not go down, especially when they should.”

If something doesn’t seem right, that’s because it isn’t. Had you listened to the advice in rule #1 in the short sellers handbook — you would’ve saved yourself a small fortune over the past 2 months. Sure, stocks “should’ve” traded lower — but they didn’t. Here we are in a boring Friday, post massive melt up, and the Dow is off by 120. But the VIX is flat, in spite of oil down 5% and the smallest of the smallest of caps are still catching bids. Dare I say this market does not want to trade lower?

I really want it too, especially since I have a 15% position in SOXS. Today is a Friday we all know markets do not bottom on Fridays — but the morning move has concluded and if we’re going to trade lower — it won’t happen now. If it does, it will trade lower after 3pm.

Ergo, time to cover said shorts and look for some reversal to the upside trades. What else is new?

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Bullshit Day — Taking a Sojourn into and Against Semis

Fuck NVDA. I am 3x long SOXS now and proud of it. Today I did nothing but waste time.

(ATOM -3.3%)
(NNDM -3.2%)
EB +7%

Net net, I am having fun. I would be having a lot more fun should the semis crack lower — as they should.

Pot stocks broke higher today. Everyone thinks CBD oil cures COVID-19. Time to get short.

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