iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,983 Blog Posts

Markets Set to Rally On Death of ‘Austere Scholar’, Founder of ISIS — Avid Soccer Player

Gents (this is a men’s blog only),

I am delighted to give you news of a great tragedy. The austere scholar and founder of the group formerly know as ISIL, al-Baghdadi, was killed last night in an American raid. While the loss of this avid soccer fan and religious icon will be missed, markets seem to like it, as Nasdaq futures are +28. Because of this, and I speak only for myself here on iBankCoin, I am celebrating the death of this man tonight, over some gimlets.

While other nations are disgusted by our American brand of media, I am incredibly grateful for all of their efforts, as I do admit finding joy and laughter in the psychosis of others. “The Fly” is a gregarious chap and sees the bright side in all things, which is why I am so amiable. In the olden days here on iBC, I was a cantankerous meddlesome force, dark and evil, always banning persons from commenting on the site. Not today. iBC is a beacon for freedom and expression. If you wanted to praise the evil man Trump whilst declaring al-Baghdadi to be an awful individual, you can do so here without reprisal.

Good evening.

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SAAS Had a Good Week; Markets Are SAFU

You might not know it, and that is why you read me and aren’t the one doing the writing, but the fate of SAAS stocks are indelibly intertwined with the destiny of the market. There is so much invested into this one sector that its survival and state of being is central to the risk appetite of the whole. You might eschew them in your portfolios, because you’re small minded miscreants, but rest assured you need them to profit from your other bozo stocks.

We are all friends here, are we not?

1 week returns for my select SAAS basket.

The Exodus Application Software oscillator, predictive when extreme levels are reached, as was the case a fortnight ago.

Not much else to say. I’ve got a lazy Saturday planned, started with some Barrel Ass Frenched Toast and Eggs in a Basket. I will probably read, maybe go to a park, and then cook some pasta for dinner. This evening I might go gimlet, dirty martini or maybe Irish Whiskey. This is still up for debate.

Enjoy your day.

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Worst +150 Day Ever

I lost money in my trading account and in my Quant. If I was new to stocks, like some of you younger punks soiling the comments section or worse — LURKING — I’d be scared. But I am not scared, because I am brave. I am brave because I am confident. I am confident because of my track record of resiliency. I am resilient because I grew up inside of a sewer and always wanted better things. I didn’t like the sewer because it restricted me to a sub-group of sub-humans who only enjoyed sex, drugs, and wanton degeneracy. I didn’t like any of that because I’ve always been introspective.

Stocks sucked today and the broader indices were deceptive.

My trades the past two weeks.

TJX +2.4%
SGEN +17%
(PIR -15%)
NAV +8.9%
(NET -13.5%)
STMP +19%
ARWR +6.4%
GME +5.1%
TROV +9.9%
TROV +9.9%
MNK +7.8%
BBBY +9.3%
(MLNT -10%)
CARB +2.7%
PDD +12.46%
LULU +1.5
(NVCR -10.3%)
LPG -3.6%

The losses are larger than usual, but the overall results are good. Since May I’ve closed out ~350 trades and have netted a percentage gain of ~22%. My win rate isn’t that good, about 64%. However, I’ve been able to produce solid returns due to my discipline in removing myself from bad trades quickly. That’s all it takes — slightly better than average win rate with German like discipline to guide you towards winship.

If you want to learn how to do this and how to turn your shitty accounts into something greater, so that you too can escape the sewers, start trading now and spend the next 20 years of trial and error and then you’ll be an expert. OR, you can join Exodus.

Your call.

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Downhill Running Thru Turkey Day

Although my stocks aren’t doing too great today, I can comfortably say, with a lot of comfort and ease, stocks are going to climb higher from here until Thanksgiving. People are so fat and greedy, they won’t be able to help themselves to another serving of gravy.

Breadth is only 66% today, fooling people with the market racing higher and middling internals. Days like this make people depressed and wanting to kill themselves.

“Why can’t my stocks go up too?”

Breadth is at 66% fucked face. Quit looking at the indices.

At any rate, I had a late afternoon, trying to get back into shape in anticipation of end of days. I need to get stronger and more vibrant, in order to kill people with my bare hands when the time comes. I now reside in a southern territory where roads are literally named after certain BBQ flavors. There is also a road called Jones Pork Sausages, or something close to that. Most of the people here are from the north, so that isn’t much fun. But every once in a while I run across some true southern gentry, and they are in fact entertaining — like circus animals clowns in suits.

I took a 10% loss in NVCR today and might trim some more in a few other non-participating names. Most of what I thought would play out today isn’t; but it is a Friday and I should temper my expectations.

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*** FULLY INVESTED ***

I bought a fuckload of high beta, scandalous trading stocks today — because we’ve bottomed. Although sour on the SAAS sector last week, today they look perfect, just like Trump’s call to the Ukraine. Because of this, I bought a variety of names. But I also hold onto several that I bought the other day.

I can ramble on about how awesome of a job it is to trade or how I’ve always known this to be the single best talent of mine, even greater than writing good prose. But that would be repetitive, so I won’t bore you with that. What I will tell you is that stocks are good, and do not call the “stonks” you fucking millennial retards. Also, let’s stop pretending technical analysis works — because it doesn’t. What you’re actually doing when examining charts is finding patterns based on human psychology. Look, the kerosene lamp produced light, but electricity did it better. You sifting thru charts, by hand, is stupid and you should be whipped at the gibbet for it. Real men, men of industry and substance, subscribe to Exodus to automate this process.

On this issue of Exodus 2.0, we are coming along. It is a very hard and arduous task to build a world class piece of software that will defecate on all others. We are perfectionist and I will ensure the launch will be nothing less than stellar.

Stocks are up. Spirits are high. Le Fly is fully invested.

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SAAS STOCKS BUST LOOSE AND BREAK OUT AGAIN

It has been a long haul for SAASFAGS out there. The predictable repeatable sages from San Francisco had a brief pause and subsequent plunge, those fuckers are back in style today. Look at those fucking gains.

Will this rally continue?

Absolutely.

There have only been a handful of -25% drips in SAAS the past decade. Look at the far right hand column of that picture above. We’re there and I declare, with the might and braun of a hungry lion trapped inside of a cage with weak beta males, this sector has bottomed.

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Nice Fish, Let’s Get More

I just sold PDD for a 12.5% gainer. Having held it for about a week, I felt it was time to harvest. My life is hard and my hands are grizzled from all of this malevolent work. Let me remind you once again, trading stocks for a living is the hardest job in America. Often times people ridicule us for having it easy, but truth be told — our jobs deserve more respect!

There are a fuck tonne of breakouts today. I am about to spill over into about 3 or 4 new names and would really appreciate it if the market would refrain from chopping it up today.

It has been busy busy times at House Fly and the blogging has been irregular. Getting situated down here has been a hassle. Naturally, Mrs. Fly had to donate nearly all of our own furniture and replace it with brand new stuff — just to keep up with the times and an another flaccid attempt at ruining me. I can keep this game up for a loooong loooong time, providing my fucking trades keep working.

Story of the day of course is TSLA, driving fucking nails into the feet and hands of shorts. Do not lament over your losses TSLAQ FAGS. Instead, acknowledge this is not the time to bet against Elon and move on. For the love of Christ, move on.

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And Up We Go Again

There’s no use trying to time the intra-data machinations of the market. You’d be wise to leave it to professionals, such as myself.

Observe my trades since yesterday.

STMP +19%
ARWR +6.4%
GME +5.1%
TROV +9.9%
TROV +9.9%
MNK +7.8%
BBBY +9.3%
(MLNT -10%)
CARB +2.7%

I got fucked on that MLNT on an intra-day ‘fuck you, you’re dead’ reversal. It’s important to note and understand that no matter how much you study, how hard you try, you will never be as good as Dr. Fly.

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WOOSH! And Back Down We Go

It’s real hard out there, being a trader, trying to read the tea leaves and sense which direction the winds are blowing. Believe me, I feel your plight. We were down, then up, and now back down again. How does someone, such as yourself, low IQ and also poorly equipped to compete, deal with these pangs.

CUT LOSSES QUICKLY. STOP THINKING YOU’RE SPECIAL.

I have three stocks I just bought today all knifing lower on me. Part of me wants to hold them — because I am “The Fly” and I cannot be wrong. XYZ was purchased at the price of my choosing and since my IQ is 155, I cannot be wrong. This sort of harebrained thinking is exactly what drives people into the poorhouse and beyond — homeless man walking the streets degenerately with tin cup in tow.

Listen to me now. Take it easy and quit trying to capture every move. Trade with honor and poise and you’ll be ok. Or, you can just eat my fish inside Exodus. Sometimes I serve bad fish and you might get food poisoning, soil yourself and violently vomit. But on the all, you’ll be ok.

My last 12 trades.

TJX +2.4%
SGEN +17%
(PIR -15%)
NAV +8.9%
(NET -13.5%)
STMP +19%
ARWR +6.4%
GME +5.1%
TROV +9.9%
TROV +9.9%
MNK +7.8%
BBBY +9.3%

See pal, that’s who I am. I haven’t closed out those bad trades on my ledger yet, so do not think for a second that I am some sort of super human sage. Like you, I am fallible and bald, and at times I get frustrated. But where I differ from the lot of you is in my resiliency. I am able to pick myself up and throw giant spears into the heads of my enemies, especially when said enemies believe me to be mortally wounded.

I am digressing.

We’re in a weird zone for stocks, best to have some cash and patience. I do not like gold yet and I really want to like stocks — but they’re behaving poorly. Let’s wait and see.

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Disaster Canceled — Markets Do The Opposite

This is typical, isn’t it? Markets looked wayward and decided “nah” and instead melted the fuck higher. Is there rhyme of reason to this sudden eruption of prices? YES! As a matter of fact, growth stocks were terribly oversold, especially SAAS, and we got to the point where negativity got so extreme it became bullish.

Why does this happen?

Humans are cynical assholes. When they see the herd leaning one way, the people with brains like to go the other, contrarians.

I missed a really big trade today — because I was out. I will make up for it today and already took 3 new stocks onto the olde ledger.

“Fly, why not feed us here your fish?”

Because the 12 year free trial for access to my calculator brain is ostensibly over. By giving you picks, I’ve made you lazy and ungrateful. By forcing you to pay for Exodus, I am elevating your game and making you take this craft more seriously. See, I am a generous man and always look out for the best interests of my readers.

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