18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,983 Blog Posts

FLASH: Chinese Tariffs Could Go to 100%!

This just in fuckers. Looks like trade talks are going swimmingly.

And for the Chinese side.


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Booking Some Gains, Moving Temporarily to Cash

I’ve got my cash reserves up near 50%, following a spate, mind you, of successful trades.

BZUN +2.4%
NEWR +5.3%
SPWR +5.4%

No big deal, overnight trading like it’s no one’s business. You can attempt to replicate this sort of winship, but you’ll fall flat on your faces and break your noses.

What else is new?

I’m looking into some new issues. Stocks like NET are poised. The question is this: do I buy now or wait to the end of the day?

Truth be told, trading between the hours of 10am and 3pm is amateur hour, trades executed by Johnny Nobodies trying to catch the wave they just missed. More often than not, Johnny gets BTFO and loses all of his coin. In rare cases, he catches an intra-day melt up. But how often do you see that? If you’re buying now, you’re anticipating a 3pm ramp. But a lot of shit can happen from 10am to 3pm. From my vantage point, you’re betting off buying after 3pm and getting those overnight trades AFTER 3:30pm, in order to insure you’re not getting fucked on prints.

Having said that, it’s possible I could buy before then. No one knows what I’ll do, not even me. I might buy some fucking stocks right after this post and dazzle everyone. But in order to see it, you have to be a member of Exodus. Membership does have its privileges.

Some people email me and complain about that and I tell them “you’ve had it good for too long, a fucking 12 yr free trial of free Fly trades, you fucking ingrate.” Hard to argue with me. You’ll never win.

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OECD Forecasts Slowest Global Growth Since 2008

Shitty western nations will grow at a tepid pace of 2.4% this year and a slothful 2% next year, down from 2.8% and 2.3%, respectively — due to global haranguing, much to do about trade wars and BREXIT, according to the OECD. But thanks to third world shitholes who enjoy greater growth, the global scheme will grow at a 2.9% clip this year — down from 3.6%, representing, however, the slowest growth since the financial crisis.

As such, panic should ensue.

“What looked like temporary trade tensions are turning into a long-lasting new state of trade relationships,” OECD chief economist Laurence Boone told Reuters.

“The global order that regulated trade is gone and we are in a new era of less certain, more bilateral and sometimes assertive trade relations,” she added.

We are in an era of ‘less certain’ and although you’re too stupid to see it now, we’re all fucked. The economy is slowing. Rates are getting slashed left and right. Gold is barreling higher, all the while Saudi oil fields are getting precision bombed by shit-shieks in Iran. Everything you thought you knew about the world is an absolute lie. Space is a painting and the earth is flat like a pizza. Antarctica is a fraud, etc.

Buy stocks.

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Betting Against QE is Sheer Madness

Getting bearish today isn’t brave. It looks like rage. The people who operate and run this market have much to lose and will not bend under the pressure of meaningless trade wars that affect the tax base of the plebs. The important and stylish folk do not care about higher expenses and do not sell their stocks, art, or win because the Fed is cutting rates and enacting a bond buyback programme.

They fucking buy shit — you dumb asshole.

Lower rates means easier access to capital, which in turn means companies who are distressed can be kicked on down the road to bury future shareholders, but not now. This is when you grab your balls and step in, not fade away, cowering in a corner like a girl.

“The Fly” will walk into the fire and come out the other end completely and entirely unscathed.

“In order to be a hero, you have to do brave shit.” -Fly, 2019.

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Market Recovers — Can’t Fight the Fed

It was supposed to go down. After all, the Fed admitted that things aren’t as peachy as they seemed, acknowledging liquidity concerns in the repo markets. The initial reaction to the hint of QE4 was sharply lower, ebbing towards -200. Then people started to remember the faded glimpses of their trading lives, involving the Fed and their meddling, and how it always led to disappointment when trying to bet on collapse.

The Fed is in control and always has been in control since World War 1. The idea that things will fall apart now is simply a reflection of personal disenchantment.

I had taken a hedge in LABD, but quickly recoiled from it and booked an intra-day loss of 2.4%. Today, on this day of infamy, I booked a series of losses, amounting to 6 bad trades of my past 10.

My past 10 trades.

NUGT +6.5%
(MNK -12.5%)
CCO +4.6%
(OAS -11.4%)
ENPH – wash
(CPE -10%)
DTEA +45.3%
(PAYS -9%)
(ECA -7.4%)
(LABD -2.4%)

Hardly inspirational and quite frankly an abomination. But bear in mind, Le Fly runs fast and hard, built from sturdier materials — impervious to the pangs that draw down and beguile mortal men. Just today, my new fridge broke, costing me $205, and to fix my infamous Benz, well that’s another matter all together. Upwards of $6k fixes it, mostly due to incompetence on behalf of my former mechanic. This of course is laying the groundwork for a grande market win. These small peon set backs are merely segues into a much larger narrative, one that has me reigning supreme over you with severed heads tightly grasped into my masculine hands — knuckles protruding outward, white and bruised, from the faces they were punching prior to your decapitation.

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During today’s slide in the Nasdaq, presently down 100, Trump took the time from running the country to tweet this.

More salt/shade on Powell.

Poor Powell, this man is being totally shit on continuously by Trump in a manner that is so persistent, one would believe Jerome fucked Melania.

This from the conference:

“If the economy does turn down, then a more extensive sequence of rate cuts will be appropriate,” he said during his post-meeting news conference. “We don’t see that. It’s not what we expect.”

“We made one decision today, and that decision was to lower the funds rate by a quarter percentage point. We believe that action is appropriate to promote our objectives,” he said. “We’re going to be highly data-dependent. I would also say as we often do that we’re not on a preset course.”

And this…

MOAR QE IS COMING, for no reason whatsoever.

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Fed Cuts Rates Again — A New Crisis Emerges!

Zerohedge has once again been ahead of the curve on bourgeoning crisis — this time in regard to liquidity shortages.

20 minutes after today’s repo operation began, it concluded and there was some bad news in it: as we feared, yesterday’s take up of the Fed’s repo operation which peaked at $53.2 billion has expanded substantially, and according to the Fed, today there was a whopping $80.05BN in bids submitted, an increase of $27 billion, or 50% more than yesterday.

It also meant that since the operation – which is capped at $75BN – was oversubscribed by over $5BN, that there was one or more participants who did not get up to €5 billion in the critical liquidity they needed, and that the Fed will see a chorus of demands by everyone (because like with the discount window, nobody will dare to be singled out) to either expand the size of its operations, implement a fixed operation and/or – most likely as per the ICAP note yesterday – transition to permanent open market operations, i.e. QE

Today the Fed slashed rates again by 25bps, injecting liquidity into the system.


Federal Reserve officials responded to this week’s tumult in the short-term borrowing markets by sharply cutting the rate it pays on bank reserves.

The interest on excess reserves now stands at 1.8%, a 30 basis point cut compared to the 25 basis point reduction for the benchmark funds rate.

The IOER, as it is known, as a guardrail for the funds rate, which this week jumped beyond the previous 2% to 2.25% target range. That move came amid a funding crunch in the repo market, where banks to go exchange high-quality assets like Treasurys for the cash they need to conduction operations.

The Fed conducted two repo operations itself this week, the first which resulted in about $53 billion injected into markets, while the second involved $80 billion.

Setting the IOER is a routine part of Fed business, and the central bank has had to make two earlier technical adjustments to the rate when it rose to the high end of the target range.

In this most recent move, the policymaking Federal Open Market Committee explicitly stated it was adjusting the range to “foster trading in the federal funds market at rates well within the FOMC’s target range.” That language was added from previous implementation notes that the committee tags on the end of its main statement.

The committee, however, did not announce more aggressive measures to address the difficulties. Some market participants had expected the Fed might tip its hand to more aggressive rate cuts or expansion of its balance sheet, where it keeps the assets it purchases, such as Treasurys and mortgage-backed securities.

This week’s funding crunch came amid a reserve level that has dipped to its lowest level in eight years. The events pointed to the possibility that the Fed’s estimates of how much in reserves the banks need to operate comfortably is wrong.

Now the knee-jerk reaction is to get bearish AF — because new crisis demands lower prices and panic. However, one could argue that the Fed is addressing these concerns and the market reaction is somewhat milquetoast. Bear in mind, we’re all living on borrowed time and it is the job of the Fed to keep this carnivale going. I do not think, even for a second, we are near the end of our  ebullient and big breasted and beautiful bull market.

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NO MORE DICK TEA PLEASE, An End to An Indecorous Era

I went long DTEA late 2018 in the fleeting hopes the company, Canadian and poor, would come to their senses and sell drugs inside of their teas, specifically pot. But no, they’re too haughty for any of that and have repeatedly rebuffed market requests. As such, one day following their earnings report, I am exiting the stock for a profit of 45%.

Sure, it was a fun ride, but the time to sell — for me — is now. Normally the stock is illiquid, trading by appointment, always in the dumps shitting on shareholders. This is a rare opportunity to exit at an enriched price with volume.

Will the stock go higher from here?

Who the fuck knows? I am not emotionally attached to Dick Teas and can only suggest that you extricate yourselves from emotionally driven trades. This was a binary choice and I chose to close this indecorous chapter in my life.

On a related note, I sold CPE for 10% loss and ENPH for a wash. I am, quite honestly, the most inverse Captain of the oil fields to have ever lived. Whenever you see me trading oil, do the opposite and enjoy the profits with my compliments.

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THIS JUST IN: We’re Doomed

FDX warned of a massive global slowdown. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Amazon fired their asses and they’re fucked like mailmen now. Trump is out there heightening sanctions on the economic powerhouse Iran and we’re over here starving in the streets, begging for brioche.

And now this, fresh off the shit presses of CNBC:

The Business Roundtable said its members forecast U.S. economic growth this year will clock in at 2.3%, down from last quarter’s estimate of 2.6%.

The group, whose chairman is J.P. Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon, blamed tension with China and the stalled free-trade agreement with Mexico and Canada for its members’ downbeat assessment.

This quarter’s survey asked members to rate the impact of the trade war on their businesses over the past year. More than half of executives reported a somewhat or very negative impact on sales.

Whoa, did you read that? “A downbeat assessment.” Whatever will we do?

The Nasdaq is down 27, but gold is higher. Crude is acting like nothing happened to HALF of Saudi Arabia’s oil production, so the only logical thing to do is to sell short — right? We’re fucked. Growth is fucked. Xmas is months away. October is right around the bend. You know market crashes always happen in October. So we’re completely and entirely fucked. Go grab your kids out from school and head for the mountain range to live off the land.

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Markets did great — yada, yada, yada. I bought a bunch of shit that is doing to pop the fuck off tomorrow.

Now let’s talk about something really important.

Exodus 2.0, presently in late stages of development.

You’re familiar with our overbought and oversold algos right? If AAPL hits a score of 1.35 it has a 74% chance of going higher by 1.4% over the next 10 days. Pretty neat, but how about if I could show you this?

Apple has a present technical score of 3.07. Dating back to 1984, Apple has gone up 53% of the time from this score. Also, since everything is streaming in real time, so are the percentages of win. You can apply this intelligence to new portfolio functionality to demonstrate what Exodus believes your portfolio will do over the next 1-10 days.

Below is a rudimentary snippet of Exodus 2.0 RT data for AAPL.

All scores, algorithmic and price, will stream in real time. If markets plunge by 1,000 points over a 5 min time frame, we will now be able to pick up on possible mean reversion trades in RT. Also, our data set is no longer constricted to the lifetime of the software, but decades. There’s gonna be a lot of new upgrades and features, all which will make you walk around with a fully erect penis for weeks at a time. But this dynamic upgrade opens the door for intra-day, RT, algorithmic greatness that will be able to score stocks on an intra-day scale and spit out winning probabilities.

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