18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,585 Blog Posts

Missed Another Giant Rally

Last year I returned 55% whilst missing out on 90% of the big rallies. It’s quite a feat unto itself — you must admit. Today was more of the same, reminiscent of 2023 with me doing triage into the latter hours of the day in an attempt to reduce losses to manageable levels, which I did.

I lost 80bps for the session — much better than my session lows of -190bps.

I caved into the transgendered bulls and paraded with them, hating every second of my existence throughout the ordeal.

Into tomorrow I am 100% long, which should be interesting, especially when taking into account I was just yesterday calling for the sky to fall.

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SIR — Why Can’t We Collapse?

Last blog I alluded to the fact I was eagerly awaiting COLLAPSE and held onto my shorts. Just after I published that blog, I covered them and markets literally dropped for 2 hours afterwards. I was racked with regret, a little somber, and filled with rage.

Since then, I fancied myself a bull and bought lots stocks — bulked the fuck up on $RUM — and placed my fate in the hands of the stock Gods.

So you know, I speak to you from a position of being DOWN 1.1% on an otherwise fantastic bull-market day. MY quant is +1.5% and my strategic portfolio os +2.8%. Ergo, being down on a rally day like this is disgraceful and the result of a bearish disposition that causes me to NOT BUY DIPS and instead lean into shorts during times of duress.

This risk aversion is the result of being a veteran in the worst market calamities in American history: 1997, 2000, 2008, 2012, 2020, and again in 2022. I think it’s fair to assume that anyone over the age of 40 has PTSD when it comes to trading stocks and although I am chagrined by today’s performance — I will still trounce all of you asshats in 2024 and again in 2025 and again in 2026 and so on and so forth.

Good day.

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Gonna Give Collapse One Final Chance

The morning action is bullish and I was close to covering my shorts and ending my foray into volatility — until I peered a look at bonds and saw they barely budged.

It’s true — all of the cool stocks are up and my olde man stocks and $TZA/$UVIX positions are tanking lower. But maybe I should give the specter of collapse a chance and let the market absorb all of the buyers to hopefully TRAP THEM long and destroy them!

This is probably delusional thinking on my part and my ego might be getting in the way of proper risk analysis. However, I did just buy 3 cool stocks to hedge my hedges and my losses, although regrettable, are still about than 1%.

If not short, I’d be boasting about the $LYFT numbers and how it meant my $UBER thesis to be correct and also telling you about $BTC and $HOOD — two strategic holdings of mine that I favor.

At any rate, I won’t add to TZA/UVIX and I probably won’t chase the devils going up here. Maybe I’ll just wait an hour or two to see if, perhaps, markets might cave in a little here.

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It’s Over: The Entire Bull Market Thesis Has Been Ruined

Elon Musk has capitulated to the censorship bureau. Joe Biden is the first President in American history to not undergo a cognitive test — mainly because he’s senile and would fail. He’s in charge of the alleged nuclear arsenal.

Israel continues to inflict massive casualties amongst the civilian populace, unabated, and without any force willing to oppose them.

The war in the Ukraine has taken on a perverted element of industrial genocide, guided intently by the US State Dept and their sock puppet Zelensky.

Migration hordes continue to swarm white dominant nations — because their failed states aren’t as comfy. They’ll now create society in Europe and America in a manner that was similar to what they were accustomed to in whatever shithole they migrated from.

The LGBTQ agenda is now the strongest religion in the west — a pillar of sodomy that shall be defended with the blood and the guts of the soon to be extinct straight white male.

MEANWHILE, markets plunged lower today on news that US inflation data, measured by the CPI, was hotter than expected. The entire bull market since November was predicated on the idea that rates will be cut in May and thereafter in order to satiate the devils who finance the construction of vacated commercial real estate projects.

But since unemployment is low and spending in America rampant — we’ve managed to paper over all of the sins and all of the follies up until now. But the rates matter and a 4.3% handle on the 10yr is catastrophic for anyone of modest means attempting to buy a home this spring. The entirely of the bull case was the specter of lower rates, heaving into a slowing economic backdrop.

In the past few months, we’ve enjoyed bearing witness to a sundry of bubbles — inflating up into the sky and floating around aimlessly in cartoon like fashion. It was a wonderful thing to see, shares of $NVDA, $ARM and $SMCI race higher without resistance or even a second thought about what is all meant. It will be hard to take down the bubbles — because so many have been initiated into their religions. Just like the LGBTQ cabal, they believe fun can be enjoyed without consequence and hedonism to be the preferred mode of living — and then you get aids and die and your accounts are at zero.

I see sharp downside follow through tomorrow, with volatility spiking above $20 and the transgender bulls coming to grips with the faint idea that maybe, just maybe, it’s all over and it might be time to seek for cover.

I closed the session +37bps, not tricked or fooled, net short into tomorrow.

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As predicted, the CPI came in HOT and Joe Biden and his band of bumbling fools are now fucked in an economy that is destined for the dust bin of history.

Meanwhile, $NVDA and $SMCI have bids and people are pretending it’s not really over.

I went to cash in the AM and now allocated about half my assets, some to risk some to low beta some to hedging. I am in the middle of a home project now, laying down tiles and doing some light millwork. I’m off to a run to $HD for supplies. When I get back, I fully expect markets to melt down into the close and beyond. I’d say there is a 75% chance that we follow through to the downside tomorrow, with very few places to hide.

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Hedged into Tomorrow’s CPI

I predict dark storm in the not too distant future, led lower by the fucking semiconductor index.

Tomorrow we will be entreated to a HOT CPI number, in my estimation — providing license to some bidless pin action. All of the chickens will run about the coop without their heads, in a dizzying panorama of confusion. Having been hedged properly in a beta neutral portfolio laden with cash, I would have escaped the fires and instead of burning in them — roasting those who revealed themselves to be flammable like marshed mellows.

America deserves ZERO BID pin action and we shall receive it soon. The idea this folly can continue is perversion.

All that aside, I am of course a servant to the winds and we are at RECORD highs and the bears are a pathetic cadre of hasbeens, so I will never hasten to join their side with any temerity, lest I felt the timing was optimal.

I closed with fairly conservative holdings, hedged by $TZA and $UVIX — hoping for the worst possible outcome for stocks tomorrow.

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$NVDA Briefly Surpasses $AMZN and Parity With $GOOGL in Market Cap

Good Sirs —

I’d like to remind you that computers are abundant and inside of those computers, whether it be a desktop, laptop, tablet or a phone — such devices requires the inestimable semiconductor chip. Such a marvel is boundless in its greatness and the market as a whole is appreciative. For the month of February, the $SMH is +11%, which is followed by a 7% gain in January. Such figures represent the largest returns for the industry in decades — perhaps ever.

Due to Wall Street’s insatiable desire for fast computers and Bitcoin mining operations, shares of $NVDA briefly surpassed Amazon in market cap today, as well as reaching parity with Google. Nvidia did an impressive $18b in revenues last quarter, about $70b from Google and $150b from Amazon — but the chips they make are so amazing that investors are willing to ignore any talk or chatter of valuation.

GUILTY AS CHARGED! as I posses positions in $NVDA from a basis of $120 in the trust accounts of my children. I tell this to you now and sincerely, I am not proud nor happy about it. The positions are mere trifles, small and inconsequential. Sure they’re the largest positions in the accounts now by virtue of their 300% gains — but to have such a winner in accounts that I cannot spend directly or have in abundance size greatly reduces my vigor for such grandiosity and the splendor of said victory.

Today I’ve spent my time doing mill work in my laundry room, tiling next, followed by painting. I’ve also been taking 5g of creatine per morning, ingesting 3500 calories per day, in an effort to build some mass — as my recent “Oppenheimer diet” made me weak and feeble. I am quite capable of losing or gaining 15lbs inside 2 months on demand. I will now gain 8 pounds over two months of pure muscle to attain the strength necessary to rip off the limbs of my enemies one by one if needed — followed by a tossing of their de-limbered bodies atop pikes.

I am still 100% cash, watching from afar.

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Small Caps Run Away

I had positioned for an ordinary melt up today but instead we have received a ribald on led higher by micro caps and shit stocks. This isn’t extraordinary, since the smalls have lagged. However, we are also seeing major volume spikes in dozens of momentum names. I don’t want to suggest blow off top — but anything can happen.

Micros are up 1.7% whilst large are down 0.2%.

We are also OVERBOUGHT in Stocklabs and based on the data — this is bullish.

In a sense, this is the type of tape that produces short squeezes and massive runs in beaten down names.

HOWEVER fun this might be, I moved to 100% cash in my trading since my returns were small and I had been positioned for a larger cap rally. Only +41bps for me.

I have two choices in front of me:

1. Be happy with the small return
2. Risk squandering it via chasing retarded stocks already +7% for the session.

SIRS — I am a professional of the highest order.

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For those of you betting interminably on oil stocks — last week was your Waterloo. Good Sir, you have been dispatched and do not belong in the cadre of important men in the field of finance.

Below are the top performers of last week. It should be noted the custom indices are of my own making and the high beta index isn’t comprised of low brow stocks like the Bubble Basket — but instead “cool stocks” with beta ratios above 1.5.

All of the data featured above make me feel even worse about my flat performance — once again missing out on the cool stocks rampaging throughout the meadow of Wall.

Some of the notable stocks of gallantry were $ARM +62%, $SMCI +56%, $PLTR +49%, and $NVDA up another 18%. Everyone who is mad decries grandiose bubbles and monstrosities of evil proportions. There are clarion calls to sink stocks for good and for shares of both $TSLA and $NVDA race to zero — revealing their decades long scam.

If I were to agree with those patriots who seek to destroy America, I’d curry the favour of a great many of you with cries of “CRASH THE MARKET FOR GOOD” — but I cannot in good faith speak with emote, as I am a person fashioned stoically and can only translate my opinions via ethical logic.

Having been through all of the finest stocked market crashes of all time, once chancing upon the 1987 carnage via a newspaper left on my floor which discussed the events as a cockroach traversed up my 11 year old stomach — I can speak plainly to you now that this “bubble” isn’t ready to pop. As a point in fact, we are fixed to trade up and can only be interrupted by the sudden death of Joe Biden or news that he was to be replaced as a candidate in the 2024 Presidential elections.

Investors remember the Trump days and harken for them, which is why the tape will receive bids throughout the year up until the fateful day when the next President is crowned King in the Americas for the next 4 years.

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Traded Like a Retarded Fucking Ape This Week

The NASDAQ pressed higher by 3% this week and the small capped Russell jumped by 1.9%, in what could only be described as accommodative pin action. I wasn’t short or sick with the COVID-10 virus, but managed to only achieve a gain of 0.10% for the week.

Conversely, my monthly allocated quant gained 1.2% and my strategic portfolio of long term holdings jimmied up 4.8%. I used to lament about these things, study where I went wrong — retrace my steps in a never-ending search to unlock the secrets of my fuck ups. But it’s all a waste of time, as I am fixed to go higher and just because I counter-correlated the market — that doesn’t mean it’s over for me.

Quite the contrary, as a point in fact. I am best followed and most profitable when diverging from the broader indices, as I posses an innate skillset to navigate markets and subordinate the indices to my personal returns.

I must admit, however, the allure of continuing to CRUSH markets has weakened in over time, since the time necessary to achieve high returns is great and making more money for myself isn’t something that is motivational to me. After all, I won’t ever pull my money out and I intend to leave my net worth to chimpanzees for banana provisions.

I once again closed fully long and with leverage, but focused only on very high priced stocks with exception to one or two other equities, like Rumble, that have my attention. I do not mean to sound glib or laissez faire about current ongoings — but the entire set up is uninteresting. There aren’t any collapses looming and Pax Americana and its regime of evil incarnate continue unabated, gleefully and gayly into the rainbow sunset.

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