iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,622 Blog Posts

Stocks Wander Lower — Everything is Safe and Wonderful

The NASDAQ is presently down by 85 but there isn’t any need to worry. The Fed will simply print more and when the junk bonds go down — they will simply buy more. An interesting note out of Reuters today shows recent junk bond offering getting FLAYED — down more than 20% since priced. I am sure it’s just an aberration and ‘market forces’ will soon correct this dislocation.

I am cashed up, but also hedged — just in case. I bought 3 stocks today and have high hopes for them. But to be honest, there isn’t anything I am passionate about anymore. It’s all a facade and we’re all playing a game of whack-a-mole. If I made money on XYZ — it’s only because I was crazy enough to buy.

We’re in a fairly stable and predictable upward channel. $140 on the IWM should be viewed with trepidation — maybe. We might offer a jocular look lower for a day or two — but rest assured — the market is controlled higher.

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Crude is +400% Off the Lows

Look at how fucking stupid it all is, now with the benefit of hindsight. Just a short while ago, I declared oil was a ‘worthless’ commodity. The only cost of it, frankly, was shipping it from point a to point b. Most of us on Wall Street flippantly laughed at it as the price struggled to remain above double digits. In less than a month’s time, the price has risen over 400% to $34, now pressing higher in an otherwise boring tape.

Oil stocks, however, are up about 30% over the same time period — because fuckery.

Stocks in general are healthy AF and if I didn’t know the reality on the ground, the joblessness and the specter of prolonged economic hardship, I’d say things looked great — based purely by the price action in stocks.

Once again, the stock market has proven itself to be its own entity, totally disconnected from fundamentals — a slush fund of liquidity gyrating rapidly whose purpose seems more political than a reflection of societal success. It is the all knowing, sum total of all of the thoughts and impulses that mankind has to offer and — right now — it’s suggesting things are ok — heading towards fantastic.

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SECONDARY RAPES AROUND EACH AND EVERY CORNER

The past week has marked a new low in degeneracy on Wall Street, men and women chasing shit stocks directly into the furnace. After each closing bell, secondaries have bedraggled these people and removed them from their limbs — tossing their core into pits of fire to be devoured whole by goblin investment bankers.

I am not immune to this, having felled victim to a most RARE RAPING — the old intra-day HALT and secondary announcement. These do not happen with normal companies, only the worst. Today I sold out of HEXO for a 21% loss — after they RAPED me via secondary offering. As a matter of fact, I cleaned out a whole mess of poorly timed trades today for losses.

Today’s results.

(HEXO -21%)
(KC -8.5%)
(AQST -6.2%)
OGEN – wash
(SDC -4.1%)
(LL -5%)
(W -4.2%)
MFA +2.5%
(BYND -0.7%)
CDLX +1.2%
(CPRI -1.4%)

Very bad fish indeud. Poisonous to some. I was out all day, attending to a medical issue, and bore witness to my trading room inside Exodus cavorting in peak vagrancy, discussing all of the 100%+ intra day runners and then CIDM fell victim to a raping of course. I am certain one or two, maybe more, inside of The Pelican Room caught that blunt instrument to the cranium.

The Nasdaq is all but 450 points away from new RECORD HIGHS. None of it makes any sense and we’re all just playing along because it’s fun and because why the hell not? At some point the rapings will be too much for speculators to bear and the collapse will commence. Until then, Disney is re-opening! Seaworld is re-opening. Re-hirings are taking place! Communities are getting ready to sashay to and fro the shopping malls.

NEW RARE ITEM IN THE IBC MERCH STORE. FLY ON WALL STREET ORANGE MUGS

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Ridiculous Absurdity — COVID-19 Has Been a Stunning Success!

The Dow has airlifted another 400, Nasdaq +200. Admittedly, my positions aren’t doing as well as I’d like to be, so I might need to doing a little redecorating. The notion that a total collapse of the global economy should press stocks lower is now viewed, widely, as a ridiculous absurdity. Why, COVID-19, for all of the death and misery and has wrought upon Main Street, has bee na STUNNING SUCCESS for Wall Street. Men in pinned striped suits and permanent cigars puff into the sunrise — leaving behind a world reduced to ash.

Since I am busy today, dealing with personal matters, I have been unable to trade and can only criticize my current positions as being wrong for this sordid tape. I can, of course, hold and wait for better optionality — or clean slate.

Into the late afternoon hours, I doubt we’ll see any major market turn. After all, WTI is back above $32, and the Dow is steam rolling towards 25,000. We’ve V-shaped the fuck up and that’s all there is to it.

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I ARE BE HOOKED (Extra Andrew)

Choosing to ignore my gut instincts and opting for more degeneracy, I now find myself 80% long, 5% short in an inverse ETF, and just 15% cash. My positions are something out of a horror movie. If we are heading back down, I will be annihilated on day 1. I am the front line solider with a rickety sawed off shotgun defending against a battalion of tanks heading my way.

Nevertheless, what can go wrong?

The Dow reversed lower and flatly fucked itself — off by 390. The Nasdaq dove 100 handles in the final hour to close down 50. I booked one trade, MARK +11.5%, and the rest was ALL BUYS.

Dare I say, I might be HOOKED? Stay tuned tomorrow for the final conclusion.

GET YOUR HOOKED Ts in the iBC Merch store now. Coupon Code PEEPEETEE

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DO NOT FEAR LADS — THERE IS MORE GAINS TO BE HAD AND ENJOYED

We look around us and nothing but cinders. The world is crushed into black smoke and shards of metal. But straight ahead into the light of our screens is a world of wonder and fantasy. The stock market is lush with rolling hills of green grass and wild strawedberries. Fellow traders gallivant naked with hands filled with berries, skipping merrily into what appears to be an active volcano of magma.

We ignore the volcano and try not to look at it — because SDGR. Nevertheless, it’s still there, a menace, gray and billowing black smoke. At the center of the volcano, at least from what we’ve been told, is another alternate world where markets never rallied from 666. It is hell and we want no part of it. The rolling green hills of naked traders and wild strawedberries will do just fine.

Into the bell, I am turning my back to the volcano and gazing into the castle straight ahead, built from pink marshedmellows and guarded by homosexual unicorns. I will be just fine where I am.

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Markets Cannot Be Stopped

Markets are once again climbing, with the NASDAQ up by 40. The Dow is still lower — but for how long?

For the first time in weeks, I awake without any tasty fish. My cupboard is bare and there isn’t anything in my holdings up sharply. I’m mostly cash, but I did manage to catch a PIECE OF SHIT into a secondary filing, so that’s down 25% now. I have two options — sell and lick my wounds or DOUBLE DOWN. Normally doubling down on a POS is a bad idea, but sometimes it’s a good idea — especially after a filing of shares. I haven’t decided what I’ll do; so for now, I am doing nothing.

Since I am not participating in this rally, I have to go fish now and try to make up lost ground. Markets look incredibly SAFU and it’s amazing because we do not have an economy.

Who needs an economy when we have the Fed, right?

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DO NOT SHORT THE CLOSE

Bold enough to place my balls where my mouth is (NO HOMO), I would be remiss if I didn’t warn you against the idle notion of betting against this tape. It’s a rare event to see a stark reversal one day following a +900 point day. There is wind in the sails of all leveraged bull-tards now and you cannot stop the buying.

With the nearly 4% gain in copper, it appears a V SHAPED economic recovery is what we’re pricing in now, even though none of the actual forecasts suggest such a thing is possible. Just yesterday Goldman said Q3 GDP would be -30% and they no longer sought a full recovery for Q4. But who are we to fight such trends and happenings? I am merely a servant to fashion and right now I am tethered to the long side.

Although tempting to short shit to zero, the time isn’t ripe and wayward bets only serve to succor fanatical fantasies fueled by weakened emotions, all thanks and praise to COVID-19 — a stunning success!

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My Enemies Have Been Dispatched

On Friday of last week I went into the market with my cock and bought a bunch of stuff — heavily long, leveraged ETFs — the works. There were some of you out there who questioned my sanity and my market prowess. After all of the delicious fish I’ve served over the past decade plus, some of you chose, willingly, to bet against me.

The Dow is up 700, Nasdaq +200, WTI +9%.

How about deez nuts?

YCBD +40%
NAIL +22%
FAS +12%
NAK +8%
OPK +2.6%
CARS +6%
INO +4.1%
RWT +3.2%
SDGR +1.7%
TENX +4.5%

See pal, that’s who I am and you’re nothing. In this world, there are two types of people — those who fuck and those who don’t. Le fly fucks.

Commentary isn’t needed. Actions speak for themselves. The good guys won again. Godspeed.

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Buffett Dumps Most of His Goldman Stake, Maintains. $BAC, $WFC, $USB and $BK — STFU

Lots of chitter chatter on Friday by all of the FUCKERS on Twitter about Cherry Coked Buffett dumping his stake in Goldman. More or less, people equated this to a cast of doom about to be wrapped around the necks of investors. Come Monday, these monstrous people wanted necks fitted with nooses and markets limit down — all because old man Buffett decided to liquidate a little of this and a little of that.

Listen to me you ignorant fucks: He sold 84% of Goldman, but kept his 925 million shares of BAC intact, as well as his AAPL, AXP, USB, BK, and MCO holdings. Sure, he sold out of TRV and trimmed a little JPM and maybe some SY — but he also increased his PNC stake.

A man like Buffett is not to be replicated or taken very seriously on a short time horizon. Buffett is the American economy and moves in small increments, slowly accumulating wealth like a GIGANTIC FAGGOT, all the while drinking cherry chokes inside of his bathtub — etching out deals to save the financial system.

I only say this, obviously, because I am long FAS and do not want fear to crawl its way back into stocks before I had a chance to sell.

By the way, Exodus flagged an OS late last week and look what we have here — another way to win.

The good guys can’t help but to win.

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