iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,146 Blog Posts

FLAGSHIP DAY UNDERWAY

So many things popping off I have little specific advice for you other than to pay attention to the stocks trending on Reddit and those with heavily shorted small floats. We have palpable short squeezes taking place now and the momentum is severely against those who think stocks will go lower.

The idea that WEN is now a meme stock is somewhat hilarious, but makes sense.

I can hardly position myself with utmost confidence now since of course all that you see before you is shit. The crypto market has been up-ended and I need to point out cryptos are in crisis mode, as the Gods punish the likes of Max Fucking Keiser severely for being cringe. I hate everything about the people who shill for BTC — but of course like the concept of ETH and the COCKCHAIN.

Into the closing hours, expect more squeezes. I am keeping cash upwards of 70% as I meander in and out of short squeezes for short term gains — which stand at +400bps now.

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MEME STOCKS RUN ABSOLUTELY WILD

It’s happening. Shares of WEN have finally joined the meme stock parade of extremest winners +12% on a fever that is infecting just about all stocks heavily shorted. GME is touching down on $330 again — $AMC $60 and today’s big winner is CLOV — +65%. The common thread in all these is % of shares sold short in excess of 15%.

You can do some scans on your own but I will tell you your screens will not be as good as Stocklabs. Presently, I am up nearly 300bps, playing stocks like VLDR, RMO, WKHS and KODK — just to name a few. I don’t know when this ends — but I know it’s stupid. Deep down, you’re all just really dumb and stupid, vapid boozehounds in search of a glimmer of hope. Why not partake in wanton degeneracy? Take 5% of your assets and buy a stock with it. Play the game until you stop winning.

I can tell you without pause that trading is as important to me as anything in my life, save my family. It offers me a puzzle each and every day to attempt to solve and I am blessed with a great community of traders who have the same goals. If you’re doing it on your own — you’re doing it wrong.

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HOUSE FLY INTERRUPTED FROM GRANDEUR

I was having a splendid day, trading magnificently, in and out with a restless normality commiserate with a person accustomed to gains largess. But then Mom Fly entered the fray, as she is visiting me for a period of 25 days. I could not escape the lectures and the incessant chatter and soon begun to trade desperately and then stupidly. At the apex of my meltdown, I doubled down in HOTH and booked a loss in it at -5% only to bear witness to an incredible spectacle as it sashayed higher with the greatest alacrity, halted trading for upside chicanery, higher by 30% on a contract news item.

My trading was thereby cursed for the balance of the day, as I registered 110 trades on a day that I only needed a few. I walked away +67bps, down 130bps from session highs, morbidly depressed and angered by my lack of presence in this tape, one custom designed for my market hand. We had great movements and volatility in a variety of industries and I only managed a pedestrian gain. Even worse, I closed out the session on full tilt, nearly fully invested into the blades of what will sure be a sharp downside reversal — since my trading is both now cursed and harangued by Mother Fly.

On the brighter side of things, I am on pace to gain 30% for June, presently and obnoxiously +8.6% MTD.

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Massive Lift in Biotech Stocks Broadens the Party

Alzheimer stocks are on fire today after Biogen got FDA approval for their drug therapy, the first break thru in decades. This trade has been simmering for weeks with largess gains in SAVA, LGVN, ACIU to name a few. Soon after, the entire gene editing sector lit aflame before cooling down a bit. I managed a few solid trades and increased my gains to +190bps. I am presently 26% cash, looking for new trades.

Interesting stat via Stocklabs. It appears buying the morning dips is an extremely profitable avocation.

Hourly returns since late May.

Bitcoin dipped a little bit this morning after FUCKED FOR FACE backwards pants man said Bitcoin was a scam and the dollar should be the world currency. I cannot express to you in simple terms how annoying Trump’s financial advice is to me. Just know, I am glad he’s out, even if I have to deal with the pangs of Jim Biden’s nonsense.

Dow is off by 150, NASDAQ +10 — but there are extreme pockets of strength in innumerable trading venues.

More on that later. If you want real time access to my calculator brain — join Stocklabs you cheap son of a bitch.

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In the Process of Breaking

Short squeeze stocks have stolen the show again, let by the pavement apes buying AMC. This moronic display of verve has spread into other names and I of course am playing them. Stocks like WKHS and CLOV have lifted the fuck off, in addition to traditional moron plays like BBBY. I am anticipating runs in other “meme stocks” and have purchased a handful just in case. I realize that what I am doing is on par with burning cash in a flaming barrel of garbage — but I just don’t care.

If perhaps I was a younger man again, filled with perverted thoughts and thought about life and went about it stupidly, I too would own AMC. But for now, I cannot get myself to do it, not even for a trade. That being said, it’s easy to make fun of the meme stock warriors — but look at AAPL: an absolute fat and disgusting display of a ticker symbol who once wore former glory. It’s all over now for traditional tech. You might as well get used to see PETS trade higher, all the while your tera-cap stocks pang lower.

I opened down 70bps but have since traded back to green, or slightly red, depending on the moment in time. I am more or less flat with 68% cash.

Yes, Stocklabs has launched. Feeeeeel free to come on in.

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Piece of Shit Elon Musk Strikes Again — CUM ROCKET EDITION

Once again Elon Musk took to Twitter to play with his marionettes. He tweets and his little minions with sub 100 IQs react and make sooooo much money. Yes indeed, life is grande when Elon tweets in your favor. However, some times bad Elon tweets mean stuff and that causes sad faces amongst the marionettes, causing them to lose large sums of crypto cash.

Today’s shit-post is CUMMIES! Yes, Elon has broken up with Bitcoin in favor of Dogecoin and is now cheating on Dogecoin with a crypto named after sperm — that does nothing and has zero utility. I hope you realize that Mr. Going to Mars Soon is playing an insidious game of undermining the crypto space by eschewing the real cryptos in favor of the one’s who everyone knows are all just fun and games. This is the best form of undermining something, equivalent to Consumer Reports favoring a make believe electric vehicle while panning Tesla for being a piece of shit that is cause for concern since they run on blood batteries that wreak havoc in the poorest places in the world.

If you’re long CUMMIES — HOORAY. Your God has made you jump over a rainbow and into a pot of gold — you little Leprechaun son of a bitch. This price movement, sort of unusual dare I say, must’ve gotten big laffs out of acid tripping Elon and his bitch wife.

 

Related: Cryptos careen lower after latest Elon pump.

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BEHOLD: StockLabs Has Launched

A remarkable day at House Fly, as we’ve finally, after two years of painstaking development, launched Stocklabs.

I will not make this too pitchy — but I have to at least address the product launch.

What to expect inside SL?

A very fast, real time algorithmic based data platform with products stemming from our featured overbought to oversold mean reversion signals to the all new Intelligence signals designed to catch momentum. We have over 1000 paying members inside, many of which are active in providing ideas in real time. My trades are broadcasted live in the chat and via alerts system. I am +205% YTD. We also have a Quantitative strategy for longer term players, re-balanced once per month, +25% YTD. And I have my new YOLO account, which goes all in on one ETF per day based upon the Intelligence Algos.

If you’re into fundamentals, we pipe in all sorts of data and provide valuation statistics and extrapolate price targets based upon median valuations over a 3 yr time frame. Everything is screenable and we’ve upgraded innumerable features that was in Exodus — like seasonality. We now show seasonal data by day and also hours of the day.

Lastly, we are still in development and have not gone into marketing mode yet, as I have 12 months of upgrades that I intend to add to the platform. These upgrades will come at no additional charge to you. This is the only platform that I use and the screening system is so good I have not used a chart in over a year. As a matter of fact, I have not even looked at one.

My returns

JOIN NOW!!!

INDEUD.

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Short Squeezes Abound

The AMC-PETS-BB-BBBY squeeze extravaganza is likely to continue into next week, possibly even melting higher to new fresh highs. The needles are going haywire today on a variety of squeezes, namely PETS, VLDR, CHPT, DQ, CLOV, EYES just to name a few.

Over in Stocklabs, my trading has been going flawlessly, currently up 200% YTD. I know, but fuck off — everything is transparent. I started this account at $100k in the summer and now look at it.

We are on the cusp of launching SL today. As a matter of fact, if you click on the Stocklabs link here you might access the landing page. Let me describe what happens inside SL. You visit and become enamored with the tools — because they’re so great and the future looks bright. You toil and work really hard and try even harder. You share ideas and cavort inside of our chat room and discuss your ideas and everyone is happy and great and appreciative of your ideas. And then I come along and simply bowl on you. My picks outpace yours to a degree that makes yours useless. Soon enough and not before long, you’ll sit down obediently inside of the Pelican Room with an empty plate, eagerly awaiting me to serve up fresh fish. The idea that you could trade better, more efficiently, than me is laughable.

Don’t you know who the fuck I am?

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The Market Will Break Soon

Whenever the slothful plebs run amok in the market they soon run aground. The drift-less nature of the market portends a doom just around the bend. If you’re curious what it is to be very young and rich and then lose it all in a market run aground, buy my two short books about House Fly during the aughts.

I was out most of the day helping Fly Jr find an apartment in Raleigh. I am done with that — but will soon play host to my mother for a month. Aside from that, we are trying to get Stocklabs released to the public by tomorrow. If you’re wondering how much better SL is than Exodus — try thinking about walking up 100 flights of stairs vs an express elevator. I hate to shit on Exodus because I’ll always love her — but Stocklabs is the truth and my life’s work, up until this point.

I closed out the session +130bps with a very high cash level. These meme stocks are in the process of ruining the market again, so be prepared for broken elevator pin action very very soon.

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MEME STOCKS COLLAPSE AMIDST A FRESH ROUND OF DILUTIVE SECONDARIES

This could not happen to a better crowd. Just when you thought AMC was going to “moon” — the moon cracked in half and disintegrated into dust and now you’re left with moon dust all over your fucking face. Shares of AMC, EXPR and others have been taken to the woodshed after announcing a fresh round of dilutive offerings, as they should. Because in the real world, people work at AMC and the company is burning $500m per qt. What a blessing to enable them to sell more shares at such rich and lofty prices. The executive committee at AMC would like to thank you for your generous donations — helping the struggling retailer of Hollywood dreck emblazon its balance sheet with your cash donations. How very generous of you.

In other news, the market is fucking broken. Happy? You fucked for brains keep doing dumb shit and then another Bill Huang will appear to rape momo stocks for another 50% and then you’ll wonder where it all went wrong. Why can’t you just buy and sell tech stocks like normal human beings? Gun them up to 30x sales — see if the fuck I care. But these meme stock gambits are annihilating all facets of life in the market — sucking everything out of normal stocks and into these fucking meat grinders, now used as cash donations to struggling video retailers.

I don’t know if you can be stopped — probably not.

I liquidated it all today, +65bps for the session and +185bps in my YOLO — thinking about getting back in but not feeeeeeling it.

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