Woodshedder Endorses Cuervos!

Below is the official endorsement from first-tier blogger, Woodshedder.

“Woodshedder, with the assistance of the Committee for Southern Heritage, affirmed today the endorsement of Cuervoslaugh, as he is almost as smart as Ducati, yet only half as ornery.”

News Analysis:  In what can only be read as a “protest vote” Woodshedder has endorsed the candidate that is currently last in the polls.  Or, is there something more to this… could Cuervos get the Woodshedder bounce late into the evening?  Anyway, currently Cuervos has only 2% of the vote… perhaps Woodshedder is just being his savvy self and “buying at the bottom.”

Time will tell…

ENDORSEMENT FROM “THE FLY” IMMINENT… STAY TUNED.  

I just received the following wire from Barcelona.

“After exhaustive study and in accordance with Bilderberg protocol, the West Coast Trading Division of iBC, chair-manned by Danny, has announced its intention to endorse the candidacy of Dpeezy.

News Analysis:  Another endorsement for DPeezy.  I must say, DPeezy has collected a nice number of endorsements even if the polls are currently sliding away from him.  One must assume that Danny is dead drunk, stumbling around Spain, saying obnoxious things to pretty young ladies about his “skateboarding” abilities and such… In short, I’m not sure an endorsement coming from Europe will do much to sway the red meat eating crew that is the readership of iBC at this point.

As readers of iBC know, Jake Gint is the most prolific commentor on the site. He’ll sometimes string 4 or 5 comments out in a row, eating tons of bandwidth in an attempt to make his voice heard. Indeed, he even has a number of alter-egos on the site… so after doing some research, I figured out that a full 83% of the comments on iBC are from Jake.

Putting his flawed politics aside, I sat down with Mr. Gint for a rare, one on one interview.

DT: Mr. Gint… nice SUV by the way… I see you support our troops. Anyway, how long have you been frequenting “The Fly’s” blog?

Gint: For about a year now.

DT: Other than “the Fly” which tab do you visit most often? Remember, my blog doesn’t apply for this answer, because technically, I’m not a member of the gay iBC team.

Gint: I only visit your “non-tab tab” in order to harass you for your overtly communist banner ads. As for Fly’s “real tab” tabbers, probably Woodshedder’s tab, Ragin’ Cajun’s and of course “the Peeg.” I do visit everyone’s however, and my interest in Adam’s tab is growing.

DT: Liar. I don’t have adverts on my site. I’m rich enough. Meanwhile, is your wife hot?

Gint: Smoking. Southern Belle’s, you can’t beat ’em. (You’ll be arrested, for one thing.)

DT: Seriously?

Gint: Fuse-your-retinas, core of the sun type shit.

DT: Other than yourself, who is your favorite commentor?

Gint: Ottnot, followed closely by Calvino and Gapping and Yapping. “Amusing” followed by “smart” is very big with me, and in fact why I prefer Fly’s site over its competition. I should probably throw Boomer in there, but he’s not been as frequent a commentor since he went “Big Time Nash Vegas” on us. And since he pissed off God and all that.

DT: Yeah, that was completely fucked up when he pissed off God. He lost a few hundred thousand because of that shit, right? Well, every man is ultimately humbled I guess. Anyway, what are some other stock market blogs that you frequent?

Gint: Not as many as you’d think. Gary Savage’s “Smart Money Tracker” is probably my #2 visit, and Tim Knight’s “Slope of Hope” #3. After those two, the drop-off is precipitous. I used to visit “Tom2Oc’s TA World” because I believe he’s one of the best out there on the technical analysis side, but he became a less frequent blogger and also somewhat annoyingly paranoid and cryptic (he thought Goldman traders were stealing his system or something), so I don’t visit as much anymore. I used to visit “M.A.S. Trader” quite a bit, because he’s a good trader and funny at the same time (and from Jersey), but he became such an infrequent updater that a rumor went out that he’d died. Not true, fortunately, but as you guys know, if you don’t update, you lose people — and quick. Of course, there’s our beautiful friend the Trading Goddess who has segued somewhat into a “serious blog” to the disappointment of a lot of her original fans who enjoyed her authorship far more than perhaps even she understood. And then there’s your site filled with it’s agglomeration of embittered, union laborer penny stock traders all yearning for the day when they can loose their adzes and cudgels upon the skulls of the bourgeoisie. An observation — I’ve found I sometimes go to someone’s blog and say “this is very good,” but for some reason, I don’t end up frequenting it. Maybe it has something to do with the “hook.” I would put Ducat’s blog in that category. He really should have kept his tab at iBC.

DT: Actually, with the amount that you comment at iBC, I’m surprised you have the time to visit any other blogs at all, let alone eat and sleep. Sometimes, I compose poetry in my head… like, I’ll be eating a bologna sandwich and I start thinking of amazing couplets. Anyway… so do you trade for a living?

Gint: No. Hold on, let me amend that… “Fuck, no.”

DT: What are you looking for in a tabbed blogger? Humor? Stock market ideas? Porn?

Gint: I wouldn’t count myself as the “typical” reader, so don’t go by me, but I’m looking for entertainment first. In the world of the financial blogs, that often means humorous, or at least well written prose. Certain bloggers have a style I find amusing. Fly, obviously, and even yours to some extent. Danny is getting there. And I know I bang on the Hippy for his goofy politics, but it’s his writing that really needs work. Turgid meandering prose with little cadence of syntax is on my centerfold “turn-offs” section.

DT: Wow, “turgid.” On occasion, I’ve used that word to describe my “diplodocus,” but never another man’s prose. Okay, here’s a softball for you… is Hillary Clinton a “smelly pirate hooker?”

Gint: It’s been rumored. Truthfully, I think it’s a good thing she got that law degree, because I’m not sure even the drunker “many weeks out to sea” pirates would pay much of a premium to hit that — if you know what I’m saying.

DT: I dunno… she looks good in a pant suit. I’d tap that… just to get on the cover of Newsweek. So who are you endorsing to replace Gunner’s tab? And why do all the other candidates suck? Remember… I’m not a candidate, so you can’t endorse me…

Gint: I don’t think it should be much of a surprise that I am endorsing the Alpha Dawg, despite his boring (albeit historic) campaign ad. I think he provides a nice background in both technical and fundamental analysis (like Fly, he’s “in the business”) and he’s got some experience under his belt, unlike some of our younger tabbers. That should provide a nice contrast with some of the “hot tippers” and “system traders” we’ve arrayed on the site. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that everyone else “sucks” although some are more sucky than others. Who is this BEAS person, for example? Is this a Fly “inside joke” type of thing? I would say that DPeezy and Cuervo are both very good. Hattery as well. I even think GreenHippy’s investment ideas are good. However, as you now know, for me, it’s all about the presentation, and I think AD’s mixture of presentation and content make for the most solid “long term play” to put it in the parlance. He “stands out” in the crowd, if you will, and brings some stability to the blog at the same time.

DT: Interesting. I know you probably have something else on your mind, right?

Gint: A holistic comment regarding the overall site: I think if Fly wants to bring a mixture of steady investors to his blog — and not just the “go-go” OTB playing degenerate gamblers (as amusing as those commenters are ) then he’s going to need to continue to diversify the content to a degree that there is someone covering every aspect of the investment world. Perhaps someday there will even be a mention of “fixed income” on the site, perish the thought, and its attendant 47.5 + year old menagerie. One of the most important facets of the investment game, however is principal retention, so having some of your stash “risk sheltered” whilst the remainder rides the MaVIS-POTash exacta box (go Big Brown!) is not the craziest idear (sic) extant. Something to ponder for Fly’s 32nd birthday, perhaps.

DT: I’m sure “The Fly” will ignore your advice, but at least you were able to tarnish his site with it… a small victory.

With that, our interview came to an abrupt end, as Jake Gint flew into a rage upon hearing that Obama won North Carolina.

ELECTION NIGHT NOTE:  In short order, expect endorsements from Danny and Woodshedder, setting up for “the Fly’s” endorsement at 10:30. 

So I was in here, clacking away at my keyboard, working hard for my “dirty Internet money” when in rushed “The Fly” with a little slip of paper in his hand. He asked that I publish it immediately… in involves the demographic breakdown of the votes thus far.

With a little over 10% of the precincts reporting, here’s where we’re at…

BEAS is taking 79% of the Indian vote and 100% of the robot vote.

Green Writer is doing well with latte drinking liberals.

Alpha has the neo-con vote.

Hattery is holding the disheveled worker vote.

Cuervo is doing well in precincts that contain insane asylums.

DPeezy has an astounding 99.9% of the gangster vote.

Leonard is cleaning up in the zoos and interestingly enough, with coprophagists.

That’s it for now from voter central. Jake Gint’s interview will be published in short order…

Official Communique From the Office of Jeremy Picohp, iBC Webmaster:

“The office of Jeremy Picohp, consistent with its responsibilities as the janitor of iBC, affirmed today its readiness to endorse the underdog candidacy of Green Writer.”

News analysis: The man behind the man… the Dick Cheney to “The Fly’s” George Bush, Jeremy is not the iBCer you want to fuck with. Hence, I find this endorsement to be significant and possibly game changing. I mean, think about it… he knows who you’re voting for tonight, he knows how you vote in the PG, and he knows who you dole out those negative karma points to… Simply put, he’s like the Santa Claus of iBC, except he doesn’t give out presents and he may be able to shit all over your Internet reputation.

You just don’t know, so why risk it?

REAL WORLD UPDATE: Obama wins the North Carolina primary, Clinton has a small lead in Indiana…

In my role as “egregious moderator” I’ve been lucky enough to hear from a couple of the “regulars” around here. I mean, it’s the Internet, but even so, if you read this site daily, you almost get to know how people are going to weigh in on stuff. I was interested in knowing a little about some of these commenters, and how they planned to vote this evening.

So here is the first of two such interviews… the other, featuring the beloved Jake Gint, will be up a bit later.

DT: Tradercaddy, you’re one of the older visitors to iBC, and while that doesn’t necessarily make you wiser, it probably makes you a little richer, and hence, more important. I, for one, despise poor people. Anyway, how long have you been frequenting “The Fly’s” blog?

TC: For about 20 months.

DT: Other than “The Fly” which tab do you visit most often? Remember, my blog doesn’t apply for this answer because technically, I’m not a member of the gay iBC team…

TC: Adam and then Woodshedder… it was the other way around up to about 3 weeks ago.

DT: Really? Wow… do you want to say some bad shit about Woodshedder then?

TC: No.

DT: Fair enough… but just so you know, Woodshedder thinks you’re a “dick.” True story. Anyway, is your wife hot?

TC: Of course. She’s looking over my shoulder now.

DT: Seriously?

TC: Of course…

DT: Okay, before I get into trouble with that line of questioning, other than yourself, who is your favorite commenter?

TC: Calvino, then Jake.

DT: What are some other stock market blogs that you visit regularly?

TC: 24-Wall Street, Carlfutia, Notable Calls, Ducati (sorry Fly), One Bad Trade, and your illustrious third-tier blog.

DT: Nice selection. OBAT is a member of the VO, so naturally, I have a soft spot for that blog as well… anyway, do you trade for a living?

TC:  Yes.

DT:  What are you looking for in a tabbed blogger?  Humor?  Stock market ideas?  Porn?

TC:  I’m looking for both… I’m looking for humor from “The Fly” and the comments.

DT:  And the porn?

TC:  My wife is still here DT… let’s move on.

DT:  Okay, well… in a related question, is Hillary Clinton a “smelly pirate hooker?”

TC:  She’s just another politician willing to say anything to get elected- only JFK and Ronald Reagan have been worth a crap in my lifetime.

DT: Damn, you are old…

TC: Word.

DT:  Okay, so who are you endorsing to replace Gunner’s tab?  And why do all the other candidates suck?

TC:  It’s a three way tossup right now (honest)-GW,Alpha, Dpeezy (because I always wanted to vote for a gangsta from the hood for something).

DT:  Wow, so no real endorsement there… perhaps we’ll find it later this evening in the comment section then.  Maybe after “The Fly” drops his official endorsement at 10:30.

At this point, our “interview” was abruptly ended as Tradercaddy’s wife forced him to stop talking to “that weird reptile man over the Internet.” Alas…

ELECTION NIGHT NOTICE:  Up next, Jeremy’s endorsement…  

In my role as “egregious moderator” I’ve had the pleasure to interview a couple of the candidates. Below you will find the transcript of an interview that I had with Leonard the Monkey at the Bronx Zoo.

To help set the scene, he had just finished guzzling his own pee and had soiled a group of young children with a mound of his own steaming feces that he threw, underhand, outside of his enclosure.

DT: Do you trade for a living? Or is it just a weird hobby of yours?

Leo: I trade for a living…

DT: Speaking of hobbies, what are your thoughts on pornography?

Leo: It pays well, and supplements my trading income.

DT: Okay, seriously, what kind of trading do you do? How often? And what instruments?

Leo: Day, Swing, Options trading mixed with the occasional investment. I use a Magic 8-ball to tell me where the market is going and to figure out what to invest in. It’s very versatile.

DT: What kind of ideas do you have about your tab? What will make your tab “extra special” and worth reading?

Leo: I think my tab would provide a new type of service at IBC with “in depth” analysis of companies whose stocks have huge potential and probability to move. I’ll post an example Monday in the PG. I include the downside risks to the trade as well. I also have a home made video of Ducati and a sheep that I will post first thing after getting my tab.

DT: Gonzo journalism question… who won the first Peanut of the Month award at IBC?

Leo: You did, oh masterful one.

DT: Good… good… Okay, how old are you? Age discrimination applies here.

Leo: Younger than “The Fly” but not by much.

DT: I don’t like you much…

Leo: I can live with that, I’m DPD free.

DT: Just wanted to see how you faced adversity… Say something bad about another candidate. Go negative before they do… for example, hattery says you’re a “dick.” True story.

Leo: I don’t care if some fucktard called me a dick.

DT: Okay, now assuming you don’t win, who would you like to see win? Remember, I’m not in the running, so you can’t vote for me… go ahead, this is your chance to say something nice about another candidate.

Leo: DPeezy. He’s got a nice fucking pool, yo.

DT: Is Ragin’s blog gay? If yes, why? If not, why not?

Leo: Ragin’s blog is not gay. He has some great pocks and has been doing very well lately. I should listen to him more often.

DT: Maria Bartiromo or Erin Burnett?

Leo: Burnett.

DT: Paul McCartney or John Lennon?

Leo: Lennon.

DT: In a gay way?

Leo: No.

DT: He was really rich…

Leo: Okay… in a gay way.

DT: Is Hillary Clinton a “smelly pirate hooker?”

Leo: Yes.

DT: Do you like gangsta rap? As you know, should you somehow win a tab, you will be forced to listen to that shit all the time.

Leo: I don’t listen to it much.

Our interview was abruptly put to an end when one of Leonard’s handlers “monkey tazed” him and dragged him into a holding pen.

ELECTION NIGHT NOTICE: Up next, a conversation with Tradercaddy followed by Jeremy’s endorsement.

DT DRINK ALERT… on my first glass of pastis… since I’ll be here for another 4 hours, I thought drinking was in order.

DPeezy picks up his second endorsement in a row as Adam, the newest kid on the block at iBC, sides with his fellow options guy on a “hunch.”

News analysis: Adam, while new at iBC is definitely not “virgin new” or anything since he’s been running his own highly respected blog for some time now. This endorsement could pack some punch as word on the Internets is that the Adam’s Options tab is quickly gaining in popularity. However, graybeards wonder if DPeezy hasn’t bounced a bit too quickly in the polls as a result of his earlier endorsement. Is DPeezy overbought at these levels? Time will tell…

Green Writer is experiencing a little lift as well… perhaps because he is being vigorously supported by the VO. Meanwhile, hattery has seemingly dropped out of the race, following BEAS down the long, lonely road of Internet anonymity.

More coming shortly…

This just in, straight from the Gunners Memorial Library for Advanced Egregious Studies…

I Gunners, the former holder of the former ducati blog at iBankcoin.com, hereby endorse Dpeezy in his bid to be elected as the next iBankCoin tabbed blogger. The reasons are clear:

1. He’s an options trader.
2. He’s a gangsta.

If I didn’t vote for him, he said that he would strangle me, while straddling my wife or girlfriend. And he threatened to cover my call while naked, or something like that.

Lame puns aside, DPeezy is smarter than most. He has techniques, he trades based on a strategy. Unlike some of you bloggers that puke out stock picks, giving you very little chance of getting on a hot streak, DPeezy will be able to post about his strategy. Having a strategy will give a loyal reader the ability to track trades, pick out a hot streak, and bank coin. His current blog, while third tier, has continued the tradition of orange. The same orange that you have been missing in your daily iBankCoin visiting life.

So do yourself a favor, vote for DPeezy.

News analysis: Gunners, while his tenure at iBC was short-lived, did a wonderful job at patching up any “bad vibe” left behind by Ducati at his tab and grew to be much loved, as evidenced by the astounding 164 karma points handed out on his Farewell post.

In other words, he has a loyal following, and this endorsement should bring Dpeezy up a few notches in the race. Look for this race to tighten as more endorsements roll in through the night…

IMPORTANT ELECTION NIGHT NOTICE: I imagine a few of you may be waiting anxiously for “The Fly’s” endorsement. Just so no one misses it, I have decided to post his endorsement (which may surprise a few) at 10:30pm.

Most of you know me here, so I won’t make this too long.

I was hired by “the Fly” to help moderate this Godforsaken election. As you know, “the Fly” is quite taken with me and the wondrous ramblings of my third-tier blog.

Whatever you may think about my blog, know this, iBC is my favorite website to visit and I want to see the best tabber win this evening. I like this place and the bloggers here, and I want to see them prosper.

Here’s what you can expect from now until midnight… endorsements by each of the currently tabbed bloggers at iBC. After Gunner’s imminent endorsement, I will be posting the endorsements in reverse chronological order from the date of tab inception… so, Adam, Danny, Woodshedder and then “the Fly.” In other words, expect this race to develop and change throughout the evening.

(NOTE: Ragin has gone and posted his endorsement already on his blog, going “over my head” if you will. Accordingly, I bless Ragin with curses and pray for the destruction of New Orleans this hurricane season.)

I will also post two “getting to know” the candidate pieces, one featuring DPeezy and one featuring Leonard, and interviews with some of the more prolific commenters around here, namely Jake Gint and Tradercaddy, including their endorsements.
Much later in the evening, after I have drank enough cheap beer, a special “celebrity” endorsement will grace this page.

Finally, if time (and sanity) allows, I have more shit planned. So, stay tuned, and check in often, as the content will be thicker than Ducati’s head.