18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,016 Blog Posts

Keep Waiting

The much anticipated bounce is near.

With my money, I’ll risk being wrong short term, for right long term, by staying short.

Before I go, just know, it takes balls to hold onto big dicked gains.

As all of you know by now, “The Fly” has balls the size of whole planets or large moons.

Have a lukewarm weekend.

Off to celebrate, via 2 1/2 inch rib eyes and an aged bottle of Bordeuax [sic].

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More of the Same

For those of you who are young/stupid traders, listen up.

If the economy is in the tank, all Federal Reserve cuts will be met with selling. It will not matter, until economic growth recovers.

Keep in mind, we have yet to see a big spike in unemployment. If you think the market is bad now, wait until that shit brick hits the fan.

What’s amazing to me is the bullish sentiment of all my bearish friends. These fuckers have been waiting for this moment, forever. Yet, here we are, down a mere 7% YTD, and they’re trying to catch upside trades.

Unlike them, “The Fly” is able to bank coin in all kinds of tapes, with the marked exception of summer time tapes. As you know, by summer, “The Fly” will be fat and lazy, from living off the fat of the land, during the colder months.

It’s worth noting the annoying rally in [[XOM]], which is keeping my [[DUG]] lower.

How dare they.

If the Fed doesn’t cut rates by 3:00 today, we will close at the lows, no doubt.

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Late Day Thought

Tech companies will not withstand a general economic slowdown.

What kind of crack pipes are the fuckers on CNBC smoking?

I mean, really.

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I ask myself, what kind of horse shit is this?

Then, I realize, it’s stock market horse shit. The kind of shit that falls on your face, while you’re on a hot date—in a high end restaurant.

Do the above sentences make any sense? No, of course not.

Is it important to be coherent at all times?

No, only when your Mother is around.

Looking at today’s tape, I genuinely feel bad for people who are long stock. I know the pain they are feeling in their gut right now— and it hurts and it sucks.

The stock God’s are fucked up like that. Do you know how many goats and Romanian lions I had to sacrifice, in order to get in their favour (sic)?

Quite a few, might I add.

Just when you think the market is going to break the fuck out, it punches your balls in, with the strength of 10 Marvin Hagler’s.

Sadly enough, many of you were probably celebrating, drinking champagne, eating low-end shrimp. Declaring final victory over the bears; because today was the bottom.

Then, all of a sudden, some jerkoff, with gold chains, broke into your office, punched your eyebrows off, drank your champagne—then stole your wallet.

That’s the market. Enjoy.

The problem with the market is simple:

Our mortgage insurers are on the brink of disaster. Keep an eye on [[MBI]], [[ABK]], [[RDN]] and [[MTG]]. Oh, and now people are speculating that the CFC-BAC deal will not get done. Frankly, I think it’s absurd; but the share price doesn’t lie.

If this market confuses you, just ask yourself one question:

With everything that has transpired in our economy, namely our banks, do you believe, in 11 months from now, the Dow Jones will be down a mere 7% or where it is now?

If so, fear nothing but empty manholes and go long.

In my opinion, we still have another 7-10% of downside left.


NOTE: The banks are just getting annihilated here. Hence, I’m banking a profuse amount of coin in my [[LEH]] short and [[SKF]].

NOTE II: When stocks like [[S]] start tanking like this, you know the market is fucked.

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Desperate for a Long?

Remember [[CMO]]. They own a portfolio that consists of 99% gov’t agency bonds.

As rates drop, spreads will widen, enabling them to bank coin, which in turn will be passed along to shareholders via dividend hikes.

Look for the dividend and share price to appreciate on every rate cut.

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Your Invoices Will Arrive, Shortly

Hell, don’t ever doubt “The Fly” and his fucking “calculator brain.”

With today’s carnage, I banked coin, up more than 6%—for the motherfucking day.

I spit on those of you who said my time machine was broken.

As a result, with the help from the Godly webmaster at IBC, I’ve taken the liberty to track all of you down, mainly home and business addresses, in order to mail out invoices.

Fuck, not only did “The Fly” save your nest egg; he helped you de-bank your neighbors 401k plan—via shorting his stocks.

All in all, the Fed must act. Fade the rallies. Take some profits. Drink some expensive liquor.

NOTE: Oh, by the way, sell short oil.

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Fly Sell: DECK

I sold short 1,000 [[DECK]] @ $121.

Disclaimer: If you sell short DECK because of this post, Shorticus will buy every house on your block, bulldoze them, then build a temple in his honor. And, you may lose money.

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