iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,376 Blog Posts

America Has Been Saved…

…despite your bullshit youtube videos and incessant phone calls and intrusive faxes to local lawmakers.

Again, assholes, the government could care less what you and your idiot friends think.

On this bailout, I have decided to do nothing, until 3:30. At the present, I have boatloads of cash and nowhere to put it.

UPDATE: I changed my mind. I am buying blocks of [[SRS]] , [[SKF]] and [[FXP]] right here, right now.

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Your Hedge Fund is Being Redeemed

Above is the state of the Hedge Fund industry, as evidenced by the Global Hedge Fund Index. I have never seen or heard of so many funds getting “ape raped” by the markets, than right now.

Every manager got caught heavily long commodities and global growth plays. From Agrium Inc. (USA) [[AGU]] to Olympic Steel, Inc. [[ZEUS]] , hedge funds are fucked and many of them are going out. At the end of the day, many of you will be shocked to see how many funds close. Even popular CNBC guest hosts (Einhorn), who accurately nailed the credit crisis, are down double digits. If you are managing a fund that is deep in the hole, you are done.

Most will close.

Many people are banking on a 4th quarter rally to help save the industry. However, it’s just going to blow up more people, as everyone tries to catch the “hot trade.” The volatility is killing people; and it will continue.

As for the markets:

I am selling most of my longs here. I am more comfortable with [[SRS]] and [[EEV]] , than [[ROM]] and other bullshit longs. The stock Gods bailed “The Fly” out today, via Wachovia Corporation [[WB]] magic. I am grateful for such gifts of coin and will celebrate my “non-win” over a few 2 1/2 inch rib eyes. And, I will drink a nice bottle of Bordeaux.

It’s too late for a bailout. The banks are circling the toilet bowl. Proceed with caution.

Top pick: SRS

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The Wacky World of Wachovia

So I might end up making money on Wachovia Corporation [[WB]] , after being wiped out? Huh?

I had accepted my fate of being a victim of the FDIC, being a dumbass shareholder of Wachovia Corporation [[WB]] . Following the FDIC “arranged merger” with Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , I thought WB was done. Lo and behold, Wells Fargo & Company [[WFC]] stepped in, urinated on the FDIC and C and offerred $7 in stock for the whole company, which means it (WB) can go higher, depending on the stock action of WFC.

Pretty cool, huh?

The idiots from Congress will vote today, on that big old bailout package that most of you hate. You got all worked up, faxing and calling your local congressman, demanding the bailout be thrown by the wayside. Ha! I guess you thought we lived in a participatory democracy.

Hey jackass, focus on things that you are able to control.

With my money, I will celebrate the life of Bob Steel and look to buy more [[SRS]] , sub $85.

NOTE: “The Fly” wins again, even when it appears he’s been wiped out.

UPDATE: I sold out of all my WB at $6.75, for a loss. I am afraid of the morons from the FDIC. They can still award WB to C, believe it or not. This WFC-WB deal is the way bad banks are supposed to be dealt with. Good bank buys a bad bank—not the bullshit FDIC arranged funerals. I fucking hate the FDIC and their non-capitalistic ways.

By the way, there is ZERO support for the bailout in the GOP. Make sure you are not heavily long. This bill may not pass, after all.

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Naughty By Nature – Everythings Gonna Be Alright

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTQaocgjLqo]]

NOTE: Much to my chagrin, while getting lost driving the other night, I ended up in this guy’s neighborhood. I ate so many red lights, to avoid probable car jacking, the local drug dealers must of thought I was drag racing drunk.

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Don’t Let The Great Depression, Part II, Stop You

Look, there is very little to discuss. The markets are insanely gay. Many of you are suffering severe losses.

I rarely make big mistakes. I made some pretty sizable errors getting long a variety of commodity stocks, thinking I was God to the masses of stock idiots. The lesson learned is always the same.

However, this is why I am different than most of you faggots (that was brazen, wasn’t it?).

Over the last few days, I accepted my commodity defeat, like a man, and took the proceeds to buy more [[SRS]] , [[EEV]] and short a variety of auto plays, including Navistar International Corporation [[NAV]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , amongst others. As a result, I enjoyed big dicked gains today, much to your chagrin.

The trannies are so done, kudos to Carter Worth for that call yesterday. Short all the rails, including Burlington Northern Santa Fe Corporation [[BNI]] , Union Pacific Corporation [[UNP]] and FedEx Corporation [[FDX]] .

To sum things up, I took losses today in some names, including [[ROM]] , Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] and [[UYM]] .

As of now, I still have 25% long exposure, with the rest leaning on you bullish fuckers, via [[REW]] , [[TWM]] , [[SKF]] , [[SRS]] and [[DUG]] .

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The Great Commodity Crash of 2008

Jim “bowtie” Rogers is getting rolled on today, as everything from metal to corn gets tossed into a gasoline fueled bonfire.

The carnage is severe, following the shitty eps report from The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] .

In short, deflation has gripped hold of bullshit commodity stocks and killed them. For awhile, the faux inflationary effects of oil/gas/corn inflated commodity stocks, making people fear for their rice supplies. However, thanks to the kickass worldwide banking failure, farmers no longer have to worry about Monsanto Company [[MON]] ripping them off.

However, there is a severe price to pay for this bubble popping, such as massive deduction of tax revenue for the U.S. government. Hell, the oil industry was the only sector left standing. Now that they’re fucked, expect to see even further municipal shortfalls, causing more infrastructure projects to be canceled.

As for the farmers: those idiots will be participating in Farmaid concerts, within 2 years. The credit crisis is killing everything. God willing, the GOP will shoot down the bailout (spiteful Fly wants everyone to be punished for their ignorance), effectively causing unemployment to spike north of 10%.

Already, thanks to the The Boeing Company [[BA]] strike and auto meltdown, 4th quarter GDP will come in at -1.5%. Write it down.

Look, if General Electric Company [[GE]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] has to pay out 10% yields for a Buffett golden seal, what will General Motors Corporation [[GM]] or Citigroup Inc. [[C]] have to pay?

Look out below.

Finally, the carnage in ag plays is spectacular, which includes: CF Industries Holdings, Inc. [[CF]] , Potash Corp./Saskatchewan (USA) [[POT]] , The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , Monsanto Company [[MON]] , Lindsay Corporation [[LNN]] , Valmont Industries, Inc. [[VMI]] and Agrium Inc. (USA) [[AGU]] . In addition, all basic resource stocks and mineral are being ape raped. I cannot find it in me to buy this dip, after get “coal holed” in Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] .

The fucking farmers are screwed.

NOTE: [[SMN]] is north of $60.

NOTE II: This commodity sell off further emboldens my bearish position on Vulcan Materials Company [[VMC]] , Eagle Materials, Inc. [[EXP]] , Martin Marietta Materials, Inc. [[MLM]] , Texas Industries, Inc. [[TXI]] and Caterpillar Inc. [[CAT]]

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Your Car is Going to Zero

When you think “auto,” I bet you only conjure up thoughts of bullshit General Motors Corporation [[GM]] or Ford Motor Company [[F]] cars. But, there is so much more to bet against.

With the credit markets seized up, the auto industry is in crisis. Not only do American cars suck, but its potential buyers are not able to get loans.

Mike Jackson, CEO of AutoNation, Inc. [[AN]] , said only 80% of prime borrowers are getting loan approval, while a mere 20% of subprime idiots get the honor and privilege of owning a new or used car.

People, we are going back to the horse and buggy.

Short candidates for the credit aspect of the auto industry include: AmeriCredit Corp. [[ACF]] , CompuCredit Corporation [[CCRT]] and [[CACC]] .

Parts and dealers include: AutoZone, Inc. [[AZO]] , AutoNation, Inc. [[AN]] , Advance Auto Parts, Inc. [[AAP]] , CarMax, Inc [[KMX]] , Penske Automotive Group, Inc. [[PAG]] , Group 1 Automotive, Inc. [[GPI]] , Sonic Automotive, Inc. [[SAH]] , Asbury Automotive Group, Inc. [[ABG]] , [[CRMT]] , Copart, Inc. [[CPRT]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , BorgWarner Inc. [[BWA]] , Tenneco Inc. [[TEN]] and [[LAD]] .

Auto makers include: General Motors Corporation [[GM]] , Ford Motor Company [[F]] , Toyota Motor Corporation (ADR) [[TM]] , Daimler AG (USA) [[DAI]] , [[NSANY]] , PACCAR Inc [[PCAR]] , Navistar International Corporation [[NAV]] , WABCO Holdings Inc. [[WBC]] , Oshkosh Corporation [[OSK]] and [[VOLVY]] .

Look, even the Japanese auto industry is saddled with 25% decreases in unit sales. Take a basket of bullshit auto stocks and short them to zero.

In other news, insurance stocks are in dire straights. Any company with credit exposure is getting blown out, including MetLife, Inc. [[MET]] , Willis Group Holdings Limited [[WSH]] , XL Capital Ltd. [[XL]] , Financial Federal Corporation [[FIF]] and World Acceptance Corp. [[WRLD]] .

There is just so much to bet against.

With my money, I took some bearish positions on a variety of auto names and, as always, increased my [[SRS]] holdings.

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Poof. The Good Old Days Are Gone

Everyone I speak to feels as if we are living through special times. We are making history, in a very bad way, mind you. It’s not like “The Fly” to get all sentimental and shit; but I kind of miss the days of egregious excess, when people just ATM’d their houses and went long QUALCOMM, Inc. [[QCOM]] for shits and giggles.

Gone are the days of the cool new Motorola phone and it’s flamboyantly gay CEO.

Gone are the days when assholes went to Best Buy to purchase the new Garmin Ltd. [[GRMN]] device or better yet a TomTom.

Gone are the days when it was cool to buy Sirius Satellite Radio Inc. [[SIRI]] because Howard Stern was an employee. Or, better yet, buy XMSR, because their satellite shit was better.

Gone are the days of homebuilders acting like dot coms and dot coms accepting egregiously high take over bids (YHOO).

Gone are the days when soda stocks were cool: [[JSDA]] , Hansen Natural Corporation [[HANS]] , Cott Corporation (USA) [[COT]] , [[REED]] .

Gone are the days of stupid post 9/11 security stocks and asinine bomb detection companies.

Gone are the days of Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] and Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] dominating Jim Cramer’s Mad Money program and people getting all giddy over the iPod.

Gone are the days of storage plays like VMware, Inc. [[VMW]] or NetApp Inc. [[NTAP]] . All we do now is store warehouses full with worthless CDO’s.

Gone are the days of people in India eating 1 1/2 meals per day, effectively making Ag stocks skyrocket. Now, those fuckers are back to starving again.

Gone are the days when T. Boone Pickens was a successful money manager and oil was going to $1,000.

Gone are the days of absurd pricing power for the mineral and basic resource companies. Now they just suck.

Gone are the days of greedy private equity ballers and takeover specialists—buying companies for $100 billion out of thin air.

Gone are the days of endless Chinese industrialization. More importantly, gone is the notion that Chinese stocks can go up forever because they are surpassing the U.S. as King Cobra.

Gone are the days of cool euro’s. Now, the euro is some sort of bullshit 3rd world currency.

Gone are the days of lunatic seminar stocks like iMERGENT, Inc. [[iiG]] and pyramid plays, like USANA Health Sciences, Inc. [[USNA]] .

Gone are the days of making money off fat fuckers, via NutriSystem Inc. [[NTRI]] , Buffalo Wild Wings [[BWLD]] , Panera Bread Company [[PNRA]] and other restaurant names.

Gone are the days of powerful Wall Street brokerage firms, who could move a stock 10% on a morning upgrade. Now all we have is third tier bucket shops, like Oppenheimer Holdings Inc. (USA) [[OPY]] and Jefferies Group, Inc. [[JEF]] left.

Gone are the days of Mozilo and his kick ass tan. Add to that, his entire mortgage industry.

Gone are the days of BRIC.

Gone are the days when Carlos Slim from Mexico was the richest man in the world because his grotesque cellphone stock America Movil S.A.B de C.V. (ADR) [[AMX]] went up everyday.

Gone are the days of Google Inc. [[GOOG]] being cool. Now they’re just a bunch of dorks with a lot of free shit to give away.

Gone are the days of yoga and organic being “in.” Stocks like [[LULU]] and Whole Foods Market, Inc. [[WFMI]] can lick my dogs balls.

Gone are the days of “Jamba Juice” being a semi-cool place to buy a beverage.

Gone are the days of $200 jeans and $300 sunglasses, at least for Main Street. Now, all Main Street can afford is a pair of “Crocklers” from their local Walmart.

Feel free to add your own.

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