You’re All Cowards

I do not need to boast or brag about my win over Woodshedder, for it is not befitting of a gentleman.

That would be equal to taking playdoh from a baby or even worse: his starters guide to technical analysis.

With Gustav barreling down on worthless swaths of land, “The Fly” intends to bank a little coin in a variety of energy stocks. He does not need your approval or encouragement.

“The Fly” possesses the courage equal to 100 lions inside a laser tag gym filled with trapped zebras. I will bank my coin, then spend it on something stupid.

Thank you very much.

This morning, my “calculator brain” and I are enjoying large gains in Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] , [[DIG]] , [[IEO]] , Global Industries, Ltd. [[GLBL]] , Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] and Clean Energy Fuels Corp. [[CLNE]] .

Oh, I’m also up on some other stocks too, like Barnes & Noble, Inc. [[BKS]] , Southern Copper Corporation (USA) [[PCU]] and Yamana Gold Inc. (USA) [[AUY]] .

I’ll leave you all with this video, which will explain my position, rather vividly.

Long Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] , despite Wood Cheddar’s charts. May the best man win.

[youtube:http://ru.youtube.com/watch?v=8nTFjVm9sTQ 450 300]

Okay. After consulting with my personal weather man, I have decided to aggressively accumulate energy stocks, as if the last barrel of oil known to man was just filled.

Don’t worry. I have been buying shares of [[DIG]] and [[IEO]] with the utmost amount of quietness and sincerity, just in case you thought I was loud and insincere—God forbid.

In addition, I took some small/baby bets on Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] , Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] and even Global Industries, Ltd. [[GLBL]] .

Basically, “The Fly” has allied himself with Gustav and will “wishcast” that devil into the rigs, as if he had magical powers—which he does.

As an aside, I sold out of my [[REW]] position. Notice the trend of systematic reduction of short positions, going into the gayest time of year, late August.

At the present, for a trade, I like [[UYG]] , [[RKH]] , Southern Copper Corporation (USA) [[PCU]] , Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. [[LEH]] and all of the stunt dogged energy plays that I mentioned prior.

I bought 4,000 Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] @ $45.09.

Disclaimer: If you buy ARD because of this post, fat sanitation workers will spit on your car. And, you may lose money.

Pun intended, of course.

Aside from Gustav, we have a financial storm brewing in Fannie Mae [[FNM]] , Freddie Mac [[FRE]] and Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. [[LEH]] . The trillion dollar question is: when will it happen and how will the market react?

Judging by today’s trading, no one really knows.

Since it makes little sense to try to think like an insane Fed or Treasury guy, I believe it is logical to stay away from the financials, at least for a week. Instead, go play with the hurricanes or take a wild stab at some short positions in ‘global growth plays.’ However, my top pick is still short Legg Mason, Inc. [[LM]] .

Bill Miller is just too dumb to ignore.

It’s just real boring out there. To be honest, I feel like I am wasting my time working today. However, I want to be around when the bomb explodes. Therefore, I must work everyday until it detonates.

With my money, I sold out of my remaining [[FXP]] shares and I covered my entire First Horizon National Corporation [[FHN]] short.

Sometime today, I may up my exposure to energy stocks.

Just in case this new ‘Deacon of Death’ is able to muster up some circular activity into the Gulf and knock those stupid oil rigs offline, start getting long [[DIG]] .

Then, if you really want to get fancy, playing the oil/gas lottery, get long Global Industries, Ltd. [[GLBL]] , NGAS Resources, Inc. [[NGAS]] and [[PDO]] .

On the safer side, I like Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] , Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] and Southwestern Energy Company [[SWN]] .

Basically, the market is trying to trick everyone into making bad moves. Mother Market loves to bankrupt imbeciles with online trading accounts. And, even better, she loves to beat money managers to death, usually with their own charting rulers.

As you know, “Plutonium Petey” is still hedged and will stay that way until Wednesday. However, there are some stocks that he likes, such as: Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , Southern Copper Corporation (USA) [[PCU]] and National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] .

As an aside, I think Yamana Gold Inc. (USA) [[AUY]] is “homeless man going out on a date cheap.”

Separately, I believe Cramer pumped my Clean Energy Fuels Corp. [[CLNE]] , again. I refuse to sell a share. The shares that I still own are earmarked for long term investing, more than a 1 year hold.

Finally, it is quite odd seeing Fannie Mae [[FNM]] and Freddie Mac [[FRE]] spike like this. It’s almost as if the Government is prepared to enter the company at the equity level. If so, it would mean they (our gov’t) are dumber than anyone else thought, putting shareholders ahead of tax payers. However, it might give the market a short term jolt, until people with brains figure out how gay Paulson is. Then the market will trade down and make the cheese makers look like donut hole punchers.

Trade accordingly.

CRH today forecast a decline in full-year pretax profit similar to the 10 percent drop recorded in the first half. The company said last month it will fail to post a 16th consecutive year of profit growth in 2008 as banks curb lending, stifling demand for homes in Britain and the U.S., where the company derives more than 40 percent of its revenue.

Add CRH PLC (ADR) [[CRH]] to your infrastructure short list, which includes: Vulcan Materials Company [[VMC]] , Martin Marietta Materials, Inc. [[MLM]] , Texas Industries, Inc. [[TXI]] , Eagle Materials, Inc. [[EXP]] , Foster Wheeler Ltd. [[FWLT]] , Fluor Corporation (NEW) [[FLR]] , ABB Ltd (ADR) [[ABB]] , Terex Corporation [[TEX]] and Caterpillar Inc. [[CAT]]

UPDATE: Some love for Krull. Go check 4:40 for Godly jargon.

Stuff like this only happens to me. It is the only way I am able to bank so much coin in the market: egregious things must happen to me in real life, effectively balancing out the ying to my yang.

The blood work, that almost killed me, must be done again, due to “an inadequate barrier between the red cells and serum, Optimum barrier formation requires inversion of the barrier tube 5 times immediately after blood is drawn. Clotting in a vertical position for 30 minutes. Centrifugation for 15 minutes.”

In other words, these morons who nearly merc’d me with their needles likely threw my tube of blood on their desk for an hour, while they ordered chinese food or something.

Over my dead body, will I take another blood test.

Developing…

[youtube:http://ru.youtube.com/watch?v=7QlemZ32_xM 450 300]