Murderhole Pending

You know damn well the market is set to make a decisive move, significantly lower or higher, soon. I must say, as much as I would like to see us reflate like a motherfucker, it looks like we’re about to enter “vaporlock” mode, if there is such a thing.

We have no leadership on Wall Street. None of our executives have the balls to go to Congress and say “Assholes, you need us to finance your bullshit.” Because of this vacuum of leadership, stocks are subject to all sorts of fuckery.

Nonetheless, I am TRYING to give the long side another whirl here, via long GLW/WNR. However, in all fairness, my WNR position is more of a hedge against my big DUG/ERY positions, if anything.

I am still short ESS and FRT and will initiate new cre shorts soon. I was waiting for a bounce, prior to doing so. However, much to my chagrin, it does not look like the market has the stones to go up.

With my money, I like short oil, short commercial Re, long refiners and lots of cash.

With oil up 5% and gasoline up nearly 10%, there is a nice crack spread situation to exploit, good Sirs. As you know, I stepped in this morning, buying a few blocks of WNR, south of $11.70. Aside from being a PPT standout, I like the fact that there is a large short position in the name. Going into the driving season, with oil under $50, expect the refiners to catch fire, at least temporarily.

Other refiners work a look include HES, TSO, DK and of course VLO.

Aside from that, I am still loving my “fuck gold position,” via DZZ. And, I’m long GLW until $11.

In short, this market is boring as hell. Never short a boring market and never bet against HORATIO CLAWHAMMER.

Finally, I might buy a little more DUG/ERY towards the end of trade, based upon my fervent hatred against XOM.

UPDATE: I sold out of LNN, south of $24.75. And, I sold out of DZZ, in order to raise cash, north of $21.25

I bought 35,000 WNR, between $11.60-11.70.

Disclaimer: If you buy WNR because of this post, you will be “chemically castrated.” And, you may lose money.

Take your trades and move the fuck on. I just sold out of most of my SWHC, north of $3.95 trade and all of my RGR, north of $8.80, for a handsome profit. For now, I will let the proceeds linger in some stupid money market account.

I still like GLW here. I will not marry the name. However, I am pretty sure the stock will go to $11, short term.

Oil is up, as stupid people, who eat peppermint patties for breakfast, buy oil stocks, as if crude was $100. Fuck that.

I still like my gold short, via DZZ. And, I like LNN down here, up to $30.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, the market is buoyed by yen weakness. Take a look at the FXY. That cocksucker has been rocked this week to the tune of 8%. It’s obvious, with exports in the shitter, The Bank of Japan is intervening with the currency trade, making the yen weaker.

For now, I think the rally can survive, if only for another day. I will be looking around for a new name to accumulate, within the hour.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3rpSByoC6g&feature=subscription 450 300]

UPDATE: Banking guru caught on tape.

I am going to take your horses and turn them into unicorns. I will scratch the land that you walk on and make large corn plants appear. I shall climb mountains and urinate on your head.

I am “The O Man.”

I know I can, take a tin hat and turn it into a bank loan. I have powers of enchantment that will make you cut your cocks off and dive into large vats of Chinese chicken.

I am “The O Man.”

The stock market is down because Wall Street CEO’s are in planes. I have a plan that will amaze. I will, I know I will take large loans and make the economy grow. The cock you cut off will magically reappear, once I get done kicking the Taliban’s derriere.

I am “The O Man. I am “The O Man.” Oh boy, Sir Lancelot, I am “The O Man.”

See ya later.

UPDATE: I’m Back.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0fVQ3i90zg 450 300]

In case you are wondering, yes, I am bringing my A game to The PPT, only for those who find it in their black hearts to buy Woodshedder a new toilet bowl, via subscribing.

NTGR took the fuck off. SWHC and RGR are going gangbusters and, yes indeed, my gold short, DZZ, is making you gold bugs look stupid. Apocalypse gun plays, BGFV and CAB, are starting to go and my egregious short in the euro, via DRR, is behaving rather well.

In short, I am winning.

Today, I initiated a new position in GLW and intend to sell it north of $11. In addition, I am encouraged by dollar strength to tell you, asshole, oil is most certainly going lower. Eventually, the market will go higher. When it does, stocks like GLW, INTC and NTGR will rip to the upside.

With my money, it makes sense to get long, providing I keep a short leash on the positions. Ultimately, we will collapse and the S & P will touch down on 500. However, before it does, I intend to have fun, by making it interesting and eventful, every step of the way.

Top picks: DUG, GLW

I bought 100,000 shares of GLW, between $10.15-10.31.

Disclaimer: If you buy GLW because of this post, Obama will NOT cure cancer in your lifetime. And, you may lose money.

Believe me, I am fully aware that every time I rant and rave about how stupid XOM is, oil stocks rip higher. Nonetheless, I must say, oil is an ass. All of you goat fuckers going long oil should be rounded up and tossed into horse stables. Seriously, Japanese exports get cut in half and you’re over there buying oil, as if you can drink or eat that shit.

We’re being vaporized by a financial murderhole, yet some people feel it makes sense to bid up the share price of XOM. I know the game. XOM is the market. All of the cheerleaders, who want the market to trade up need to boost XOM. I get it.

But, what I don’t get is how you are over there buying crude, amidst the fuckery. Soon enough, bankruptcies will unveil themselves in the oil and gas space and you will remember the cold winter days of 2009 when Senor Tropicana warned you of pending doom.

I’m still long a lot of bullshit. But it only makes up about 15% of overall assets. I’m looking for potential value plays. Doing quick screens, NTGR and KBR look cheap. As a point in fact, I have a number of stocks, trading near cash, that may be worth accumulating.

In closing, I’m looking forward to some sort of Chicago Tea Party, where I will be sure to bring my fucking boxes of tea. I don’t like stocks here and I don’t like gold. Short oil, gold and long guns is how I’m playing this market.