Vincenzo “The iT Guy” Appears to be Doomed

Just so you know, Vincenzo is one of the many IT guys that iBC has under its tutelage. Vincenzo is well known for having unbelievable accidents in iBC’s server rooms, such as dropping balsamic vinegar on hardware or even entire bowls of “gravy” with meatballs.

At any rate, he lives in MN.

Enjoy.

After you are done with that, watch this vid and catch up on the queer state of California.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=put0KLV5gmE 450 300]

The yen is weakening on a daily basis. Money is fleeing treasuries on a daily basis. And, Chinese related names are robusto, as if they were built from parmigiana and basilico.

My position on the banks, as always, is best displayed by the clip below.

If you are trying to play this bounce, via the garbage, you have no right managing other peoples money, let alone your own. This rally will be led by non-financial related names.

Stocks like JRJC, PCU, FCX, CY, MT, FLR, ISRG or SIGM.

I do not mean to come off like a SHAM-WOW salesman, not to say anything is wrong with such people, but The PPT can help you losers become better men, at home and in the office, via making helping you bank coin.

QUIT BEING A LOSER; ACT NOW!!!

I have to run along and do some errands, I’ll have you know. I am in the midst of a major career move and will not have inordinate amounts of time to waste with you fucking ingrates, over the next 2 weeks.

However, while I am touch and go, feel solace in knowing “The Fly” is winning, all the time. He wins when you are awake. He wins while you are asleep. He wins when you are down. He wins when you are wearing a frown. He wins in the cold. He wins by kicking the old. He wins in math. He wins inside a rich bath. He wins in jest. He wins so much, people grate him for “winning zest.”

Do not fuck with “The Fly,” for he is what you are not. You are silly and stupid, watch what you say on iBankCoin for you can get shot.

While it’s true, the greatness that America once had is gone, like the Dodgers in Brooklyn or Khan in Mongolia. It’s also true that we are setting up for one hell of a stupid rally, barring an outright rout in GE.

The General Electric Corporation is operated by big booted ball lickers, who are more interested in selling military equipment to the idiots of Iran, than having their share price go higher.

Mostly everyone I know, “smart guys,” are betting against this rally, mainly because their balls are small and they do not want to be whipped to death by Mother Market.

I say “fuck you” to Mother Market. I take her whip and hit my trader/servant with it, while furiously eating large sandwiches of roast beef and potato latkes.

In case you were wondering, despite the irresponsible/unprofessional tone of this post, I am not out there in the market, with my hairy chest and brass knuckles, punching shorts in the trachea.

No.

Instead, “The Fly” is hiding under his desk, with a 70% cash position, dressed in camouflage, armed with a rambo knife.

I bought 30,000 TNA, between $12.60-13.

Disclaimer: This trade is for men only.

None of you bozos can hold a candle to “The Fly.” Look at my positions in WNR, ISRG and GLW and understand you are not in the same league as me. I’m over here, putting some money to work in some macro etf’s, but tentative, since GE is in the process of death spiraling to zero.

Watch GE and let it be your tell. All of the ingredients for a monster rally are present, minus our largest corporation on the verge of clownish failure. How stupid is this?

As you know, especially my cooler friends on PPT, I have an extensive list of stocks, ready for purchase. Should that fucker GE go green today, Senor Tropicana is allocating another 30% of his assets to longs. If GE continues to slide, well then, I might just take my ball and go home—eliminating most of my positions and raising my cash levels to over 90%.

In short, we are at the crossroads. Watch closely.

UPDATE: Due to GE slide, I halted all new buys.

UPDATE II: Due to GE‘s cocksucking weakness, I booked profits in WNR and GLW, selling at $12+ and $10.50+ respectively. My cash position is now north of 80%. My only shorts are in REW and DRR. And, moreover, my longs are in JRJC, ISRG, TNA and CY.

There was bullish news out of China last night. Frankly, it serves no use repeating it, since it’s a fucking lie. Nonetheless, expect Chinese related and basic resources names to sprint higher.

I am sick of keeping my balls in a box underneath my desk. I am prepared to allocate as much as 50% of capital to long positions, in an effort to bulk up on current longs or add new ones.

I will not initiate any longs in financials, no matter how tempting it is.

Bottom line: We should enjoy a signficant rally today. Let’s see if the assholes who trade stocks have the balls to stick a pen knife in the eyes of some bears today.

You Sir are an idiot. You walk around with your sack of banana’s and expect me to wear the monkey mask?

I will not.

Ever since the days of assholish SOUTHERN AGGRESSION, “The Fly” has been fighting for financial justice (The Fly was a money manager in all previous lives), via reading the tea leaves and eating them when done. It has come to my attention that the market is “on sale” and looks “cheap” from a “historical vantage point.” This message was relayed to me while on line at my local Whole Foods.

Thank the Lord for paper bags and organic oatmeal; I do not know what I would do without them.

As for your portfolio: Expect the government to have a hand, if you will, in furthering its demise. Let it be known, President Obama is to Wall Street what the Black Death was to Europe, circa 1348.

For electing him (not like we had a choice), all of you will get “GORILLA GRENADE’D.” I mean that in the colloquial sense, of course, as in “losing massive amounts of coin in rapid fashion.”

My current long positions are very, very stupid and I may need to sell them all, else risk losing a quick 5-10% of assets. Considering I am just 20% invested on the long side, my fears of “de-ballment” are rather grim. Nevertheless, since everyone’s demeanor is so macabre now, I am hoping the market will bounce and soon.

If not, “The Fly” shall resign himself to not giving a fuck, yet again, and kicking ugly/fat people in their stomachs, while shorting their retirement accounts to zero.

Indeud!

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8uFeTiAoio&feature=channel_page 450 300]

The rolling disaster known as the Obama administration has fueled the fires of uncertainty, amidst a full economic collapse. You may live to tell your children about the days of The Great Economic Collapse of 2009, but the market won’t.

Everything you know about finance is useless. All of your stupid charts and asinine spreadsheets are better served lining the floors of your local garbage trucks, instead of being put to use in this market.

If you are serious about surviving this period of tumult, I strongly suggest that you heed the warnings and listen to the prodigious advice of “The Fly” aka Senor Tropicana–nd do so with great vigor.

So you know, I have open longs in TNA, WNR, CY, JRJC, GLW and ISRG. However, aside from 3% of my assets short, I have nearly 80% of my book in cash.

We are too low to short and too fucked to buy.

Trade accordingly.