Nothing Extraordinary

This sell-off, although disheartening, is nothing to worry about. About a week ago, when I went to 60% cash, just prior to putting some money back into the market, most of you threw meatloaf at me. Now, all of a sudden, you are licking the meatloaf off your monitor. See how that works, Jack?

Young people, I have more than 40% of my capital in cash and I will use it to make timely purchases. This is EXACTLY what I wanted to happen, AND MORE.

In an effort to reiterate an already redundant point: I like Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] , [[MWW]] , [[ENTR]] , ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] and Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]] —amongst others. Did you imagine I would turn sour on said names because they are dropping in price? If so, you are a primate and belong in a zoo, in the rain, not under a roof.

In closing, I feel as if my lungs are filled with black smoke. I have no time to partake in pissing contests with the likes of you. Do what you think is appropriate, not what I deem reasonable.

Y’all primates ’round these parts are have-n-a hell ovah days ’round here. In b’tween turkey salad banquettes, ya’ll gettin’ the stuffin’ knocked the hell out-of-ya.

I told y’all to raise some currency out of ya’ll pissant brokerage accounts, so that the market makers don’t take back all that cold-hard cash. YEEEEE-HAAAAAWWW.

Anyways, have yourself a merry time shortin’ this darn market. I’ll be at back, shootin’ at the deers, steers and queers, over in Texas-land. YEEEE-HAAAAWWWWW.

My absence today was due to my spontaneous desire to travel NYC, in my 1980’s style limousine, in order to throw quarter sticks of dynamite at people. Do not get me wrong, I am not a terrorist or anything like that— just a prankster. I do it for laughs, then I move on.

There are said rumors floating around, on twitter, from an individual named “Andy Swan,” regarding my involvement in rib eye consumption, followed up with drinks. Let me tell you something, it is a complete and utter fabrication. He also claims to have a shadowy picture of me: another said lie and fabrication.

So you know, in the event that you think you are meeting Le Fly, you really aren’t. I have hired actors to “act” on my behalf, in order to meet people and talk about small things, such as sports and politics. The real Fly would never waste his time with such things, so you know.

At any rate, I see the ADD addled crowd is out and about declaring Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] another Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] because it was down today. For the love of Nike slave factories, my investment timeframe is longer than two days. Get back to me on X-mas and let’s see where she trades then.

I’ll get back at you suckers tomorrow.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and people are about to gain weight again. Slothy fat people across America will stuff their faces with foods that will kill them, or leave them too fat to do anything other than waddle. Wall Street bankers will take a day off, from cocaine binges, to spend some “quality time” with the family. You see, there is no time to sell the market. This is the time of year when people celebrate their slowly depreciating life expectancy, via large bottles of whiskey and through gluttonous consumption of very large turkey legs.

I do not expect the short sellers to give up losing money, for they are experts in that field. The probability of them making money is equal to witnessing a lunar eclipse, with the naked eye.

I have a game plan, good Sirs, and I shall press my rights, as “coin operator,” over the coming weeks and months to come, indeud. I know you realize that I am different from many of you, which is treu [sic]. For example, I can write, eat and sleep better than all of you combined, AND MORE. It gets better.

I have a few stocks that are preparing to go higher. What do I mean when I say “preparing?” Well, I do not suggest they are preparing the battlefield by way of lacing it with flammable fluids, soon to be ignited by flaming arrow point, in order to “host” some overzealous short sellers; that would be archaic. Instead, they are simply biding their time, organizing, while waiting for the proper occasion to jump on the faces of those who bet against them.

I offer three names, of the most distinguished quality, worth your perusal and careful consideration.

1. Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]]

2. W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]]

3. U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]]

Pardon my abruptness. I must be going now. Good day to you all.

You grizzled bastards are rejoicing today. I know it. I can smell it. But before you go about, all gay and stupid, just know: I am still winning.

An exercise in simple mathematics, shall we?

We shall.

Investor A steps into the market and buys $100k worth of Idiot Corp., @ $2.35. Much to Investor A’s chagrin, Idiot Corp. misses estimates (shocker), sending shares spiraling lower, down to $1.22. Unfortunately, because of the decline, Investor A lost—on paper—$48,081 for the day. The good news, it only represented 6% of his overall holdings. Away from the world of Idiot Corp., Investor A has $1.7 million in the market and his other stocks were up about 1% for the day. In total, he lost a mere 2% for the day.

Always remember, I am not as stupid as you and I do not hang out with the morons that you think are “smart.” My losses make me harder and stronger, which ultimately leads to bigger and better wins.

Life is all about winning, even in terribly dire losing situations, good Sirs.

Top picks: U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] , Bio-Rad Laboratories, Inc. [[BIO]] , Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]]

…is not in my office today. Instead, I am filled with regrets and quick flashes of rage, in between snacks of course. There was no reason to hold Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] —but I did. I mean, it goes against all of my rules and silly little mantras, holding a stock with poor fundies and in a downtrend, while in a bull run, is more than stupid: it’s downright gay. The premise or thesis behind the trade idea was valid: go long a commodity related stock with financing issues, in the midst of a commodity and credit recovery. It made perfect sense. The stock even had a big short position to boot, which could be used as tinder, at a later date.

However, it did not work out, as some stocks/companies are bound to fail or just mess things up. It was a bet worth taking, considering when it was done (8 months ago) and why (reflation). To be honest, it takes great skill to pick such a loser in this market. For this gift of “loserdom,” I am eternally grateful.

No matter how many times I get hit with losses, they always sting. The gut wrenching feel in my stomach makes me want to punch somebody’s face off. At any rate, it doesn’t serve any purpose crying over an empty milk carton. What to do now?

Well, first of all, I do not believe the company is going out of business, just yet. Once they get another waiver from their creditors (weeks), they will have enough cash to survive another year. Add to that, the burn rate does not take into account the remote possibility of revenue growth. What the company needs, desperately, is for natural gas prices to rise above $5, in order to revive U.S. natural gas drilling operations. If that happens, in my opinion, the stock can recover, big time. If not, unfortunately, it will go by the wayside.

Aside from that, I am focusing on other ideas, like Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] , W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] , Bio-Rad Laboratories, Inc. [[BIO]] and U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] .

As I sit here this morning, bedazzled, by the audacity of Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] management and their ability to blame their short comings on “the economy,” I am reminded of a man named BIN RU KAI (most definitely the wrong spelling). A long time ago, when I was starting out in the business, BIN RU KAI sat three rows ahead of me and he was a very stupid man.

Everyday, while the market was climbing to new heights, BIN would call his moronic clients and ask for 100 share orders. Then, every single God damned day, he’d eat food of the grotesque kind, that consisted of steamed vegetables and hard boiled eggs. BIN RU KAI wore Chinese delivery man clothes to work and had a foul smell about him. And to top it all off, BIN RU KAI was a f****** a******. He’d mouth off to everyone, not even knowing the words that were coming from his mouth. Then he’d get back on the phone and ask for another $3,000 trade.

As time went on, people around BIN were getting rich as hell, due to the dot com bubble. Complete imbeciles were landing million dollar trades, while BIN RU KAI dropped 100 share orders of $10 stocks, while eating oversized bowls filled with steamed broccoli and hard boiled eggs. Soon enough, BIN RU KAI was fired and never heard from again; but his legend lives on.

The moral of this story is: quit being BIN RU KAI and stop thinking so damn small. The monstrous people from Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] have the BIN RU KAI syndrome and they should all be fired for it.

As for you little people, with regards to this market: go long young man, for the skin of the bears are about to be peeled off, yet again.

Top picks: W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] , Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] , U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]]

Go ahead, mention Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] and see if you make it out of this blog alive, chuckles.

There is no need for discussion.

Cheers to those who made money today.

Break open the barnyard doors you hillbillies; we’re gonna have us a party, celebrating the demise of America!!!! Yeeee-hawwww.

For real, my Foreign index is at a new high, up nearly 20% in a week.

I am aware of numerous communication tactics that can coerce the readers of this blog to listen to me, ever so quietly. I have aligned myself with men, who adorn themselves with cotton, silk and most definitely cashmere. One year ago today, “Dr. Fly” was hanging out with abject neerdowells, who ate food from garbage canisters, dressed in burlap suits, waiting for the planet to crash into the Sun. However, because my profession dictates nothing less than perfection, I calibrated my “calculator brain” to adapt to the actions of the most sinister of men the world has ever known: The Federal Reserve.

Going with my “sinister Federal Reserve” thesis, the following basic material stocks must be monitored closely, and bought outright, providing they gain further mojo:

Global Industries, Ltd. [[GLBL]] , Stillwater Mining Company [[SWC]] , Century Aluminum Company [[CENX]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] and Superior Well Services, Inc. [[SWSI]] .

As for gold, I like asset management firm U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , who specializes in commodities, especially gold. It’s worth noting, one of their largest positions is [[JAG]] . It goes without saying, the more money U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] raises under its management, the more shares of [[JAG]] they will accumulate. Think, young man, think.

Finally, I am tentative about going “all in,” after running scared from the market a week ago. Nonetheless, with year to date gains upwards of 85%, I can afford errors, as long as they are not catastrophic. The lion share of my dollars are going towards $100 roll plays, like W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] , Bio-Rad Laboratories, Inc. [[BIO]] and maybe Companhia de Bebidas das Americas (ADR) [[ABV]] or Siemens AG (ADR) [[SI]] .