Served Cold

You must be patient, if you intend to make a career out of this stock game. The battle for market dominance will not be decided today. Hell, it may take a week or more of jarring volatility to iron out all of the excesses and establish a new leg higher.

Sitting here, under the lavish settings of The iBC Axiom, I am down more than 3.5% intra-day aka a punch in the cock. If I sold now and walked away, I’d lock in year to date gains of more than 70%.

However, only pussies make moves like that.

Instead, “The Fly” has decided to rest in the tall grass, waiting to bite the heads off of numerous piker brokers. I will pick and choose my next moves carefully, for they might determine my fate.

As of now, I am opting to do nothing, just sort of waiting out the correction with ample supplies of sword fish steaks and some African coffee bean beverage. Just know, I do not mix the sword fish steaks in with the coffee: that would be disgusting. Personally, I like to dip the fish into the coffee, then proceed to throw it at people in the streets.

Anyway, there is more downside left in today’s tape, as commercial Re and banks, amongst everything else, gets lit up like a bar mitzvah party in the middle of Baghdad. Be patient and prepare to serve your dish of revenge very, very cold.

Dollar strength is just an excuse to sell stocks. It is a symptom, not a cause. The real reason why stocks are selling off is because of “profit taking” and fear that world growth is not rebounding. There are many who believe that the sharp increases in commodities are due to the restocking of inventory, instead of real demand.

While it’s true, it’s too early to tell if world growth is back; it’s also true that there is no way of disproving it, at least not yet. I suspect we will know the answers to these wonderful questions and more, going into September.

With regards to this sell off: buying opportunity.

I know it is a ballsy move. But, until there is hard evidence that can prove China is storing rusted metals in some egregious warehouse, the dips will be bought.

Look you, it’s not time for you to die yet. Chill out, go eat some peanuts and listen to the NY Mets lose another game, in epic fashion.

As for me, I will use the 10%+ cash that I have to buy some of my favorite names, on the cheap. Right here, I like FTK, ARD and ERX, providing they go a little bit lower. In addition, I will keep my eyes open for other market disconnects, by starting new positions—if needed.

NOTE: Despite today’s meltdown, UNG is sprinting higher. I will accumulate UNG into the hurricane season and will not sell it before August.

Early reports indicate the vampires at Goldman Sachs are readying to suck the life force out of the world and transfeur it to its moonbase, which by the way was built USING TARP FUNDS!?! Here at iBC, we’ve documented, over and over again, Goldman’s obvious intent to mush the faces of lower class American tax payers with lumpy mashed potatoes, by way of “heavy duty” short selling, specifically in “401k favorites.”

It is a well known fact, the vampires at Goldman are in fact making markets in stocks. On top of that, some people have actually seen some of their fat faced traders execute short sales. Folks of middle America and of the bible variety: DO NOT LET SUCH TRANSGRESSIONS GO UNCHECKED!!!

We at iBC have done our part in documenting Goldman’s fuckery, via the fuckers who told us they got fucked by the caped vampires over at “The Sachs.” Let it be known, true Americans shall not stand for this type of bastardization any longer. We shall rise up and take our money out of banks, in exchange for large gold coins or heavy silver bricks. We will buy ice cream, from ice cream trucks, using bouillon; it is the future, indeed.

We will cancel our telephone service, in exchange for “The Magic Jack.” Folks, do the math: you’ve been raped by Verizon 20 ways till Holy Sunday.

Good cross kissing folks of the confederate, let us all sing a prayer for a successful nuclear detonation, by our good friends in N. Korea, on American topsoil, so that we may rid ourselves from such “illegal” banking executives. Post nuclear holocaust, we will all become friendly farmers, who pick beans and readily chop each others legs off— with pitch forks and shovels— in order to settle territorial skirmishes, fighting one another over idle bags of Scott’s Miracle grow. That shit makes your carrots grow cartoon big.

In short: Fuck your banks; I’ll see you next time.

Sorry folks, this post is for closers only (and Distinguished Gentlemen, which most of you are not!)

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI2INBQVpwk 616 550]

Just in case you’ve been unsuccessfully trying to visit this Goldy website wondering: “WTF is going on with this geocities type, slow, piece of shit offal of a site,” I can tell you the problem.

VINCENZO.

We have two IT guys on iBC: Jeremy and VINCENZO. Jeremy created all of the good stuff: web design, widgets, PPT etc. VINCENZO is in charge of the server and bandwidth concerns. We keep him holed up in a “cold room,” where he keeps busy with his spaghetti and meatball meals, large vats of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. From time to time, he causes catastrophic, irreversible damage to iBankCoin, such as now.

Early reports indicate that VINCENZO dropped an entire pot of gravy on our servers, slipped on the scattered pasta, then accidentally kicked an entire basket of bread crumbs into iBC’s server rack. As a result, the site as been intermittently offline. As I write this, VINCENZO is mopping up the gravy and picking out small pieces of embedded sausage from iBC’s expensive hardware. I authorized the purchase of new equipment and the suspension of VINCENZO, for an undetermined length of time.

God willing, the site will be running smoothly, able to handle all of the auto-refreshing cocksuckers, who bog down CA’s busy trading room, first thing Monday morning.

As an aside, I blew out of 50,000 FITB, north of $7.90 and I bought another 25,000 FTK, around $2.60. Into the bell, I like stocks, but feel comfortable raising a little more cash. I will sell out the remainder of my FITB position, north of $8. And, I sold out of my ATHR position, north of $18.85.

UPDATE: I sold out of MWA, north of $4.25.

UPDATE: I have been raising my cash levels, through various sales, and now possess a cash position just north of 10%. Over the weekend, I will post my top 10 positions and strategy, exclusively, on The PPT.

This market is very hard to keep down. I would not be surprised to see a late day rally punch the chest hairs off of overzealous bearshitters. Already, I am seeing signs of strength amongst numerous industries. ATTENTION BEARSHITTERS: You’re better off letting off a few rounds of a howitzer, into your face, than fuck around shorting this market.

I have numerous chores to attend to today, such as dealing with asshole general contractors. Needless to say, this post has to be brief.

Just know this: I will buy FTK, FNSR, OVTI and GME on dips. Into strength, I like FITB, ENTR, ARD and SD. Bottom line: we rally hard into the bell, much to your chagrin.

I was on the phone with Mr. Woodshedder this evening, when all of a sudden, a loud thump echoed throughout my office. I told Wood “it was likely a painting that fell off the wall.”

Upon further inspection, I was correct. A painting did indeed fall off the wall.

The bad news: IT WAS A PAINTING OF A RAGING BULL, as in BULL MARKET.

EEEEEKKK. Hide the kids. Lock the doors and quit molesting your birds. An ominous sign of apocalypic proportions has befallen Senor Tropicana. I felt is was my duty to inform the underbelly of the financial community, aka you, of such enormity.

Nah, I’m just fucking with you. Alphadawg is going on vacation/life journey and will not have time to fuck around with the internets. Despite never speaking to Alpha in real life, I greatly appreciated his efforts to iBC and PPT. He was a true professional and will be missed, in a very non-gay, testosterone laden way.

Should he decide life just isn’t the same, without the internets, Alpha can have his blog back whenever he wants. In the meantime, I will convert his blog into THE ALPHADAWG MUSEUM OF FINANCE and EGREGIOUS TRADING ACTIVITY, for all new iBC’ers to visit.

Alpha: you will be immortal my friend.

As for today’s tape, I made “fuck you money” in a variety of names, including an intra-day purchase of UNG, posted in real time, on  The PPT.

Also, I had gains in [[ATHR]], [[DELL]], [[ARD]], [[MWA]], [[FITB]], [[ENTR]], [[FNSR]] and [[SIFY]].

I regret selling [[ERX]], [[CROX]] and [[LVLT]]. However, that’s life.

Regarding LVLT, the company is definitely a takeover target. Starting next quarter, they will be cash flow positive and would make a ton of sense for [[S]] to just swallow them whole.

At the point in the rally, I am no longer looking for themes or new angles on how to play the tape. I have shifted my focus from “aggressive degenerate” to “how do I keep these gains, without being a pussy?”

In short, I need to start taking profits. I started selling yesterday, via my 2nd largest long: ERX. I suspect this rally will continue, providing the dollar/oil relationship continues. Into strength, I will lock in 75%+ gains and step aside or get small.

My goal is to be in a 50%+ cash position my July 4th. Until then, bearshitters: fuck off.

NOTE: As of 3:47pm, “The Fly” was up another 1.75%.

You sit at your desk, with sweaty palms and a messed up hair do. Your enemy, the ASSHOLE MARGIN CLERK, approaches. She wants you to “magic jack” out of your positions, due to a potentially dangerous negative equity situation.

See, you’ve been shorting the nasdaq, via QID, for more than a month. It was your belief that the United Steaks of Fat Ass Americans were going to stop eating, drinking and wasting money on $500 shoes. In retrospect, you now realize how woefully wrong you are, short into the teeth of the sharpest reflation efforts in U.S. history.

Unfortunately, it is a lesson paid for with your soul, alongside your bullshit brokerage accounts.

The game is over. The clerk is taking matters into her own hands, since you chose to hide unde your desk, like a little bitch. Gleefully, she will liquidate your bullshit QID position at the least opportune time. She will wait for it to print a new intra-day low then fill your market order.

The moral of the story: never bet against the man in the time machine.

Top picks: UNG, ARD, FTK