THE ADAMI BOTTOM

I swear on a stocks of flaming Korans, “The Fly” was about to go short stocks, via a basket of inverse ETF’s, until Guy “Burnt Toast” Adami started with the bear talk on the teevee. No offense to Guy and non-flaming Korans; but I’d rather take stock advice from my local garbage man, than follow that fucker into a trade.

So far, I have no executed any meaningful trades today. I am just, sort of, roaming around, talking to strange people on the telephone, while watching the stand up comedians on CNBC. On the day, I am almost flat, as most of my positions have “swung” back to green, thanks in large part of the cowardice of any and all bearshitters.

With the dollar selling off again, coupled with benign commodity prices, I would not be surprised to see the market do a “full reversal,” dumping the severed heads of short sellers into idle vats of raw sewage.

Guy Adami thinks the market goes lower. He’s on the teeeveee suggesting to sell short JPM. Listen, I have serious reservations following The Great Tanned one into egregious murderholes, designed to snatch the wallets of idiot bearshitters, just prior to getting homo-hammered to death.

Fuck that.

Is it just me, or is EVERYONE with a series 7 license north of Havana bearish on stocks here? I suppose they are guided by the INCREDIBLE-HORRIFIC news of MS, GS, JPM and co. paying back their TARP funds. How fucking dare they!

Then we have S&P downgrade a slew of banks today, due to fears of regulation. Puhlease. Fuck you very much S&P.

For the record, I have been selling out of my winners, while holding losers—a cardinal sin, indeed. Some of my top long positions include FTK, GLW, OVTI, and GME. Additionally, I still own lotto tickets in ENTR, TRID, FNSR, CNXT, ATML and SIFY.

My shorts are limited to minor/legacy positions in FAZ, SRS. However, I was thinking about taking on some new shorts, until burnt toast went on the teeeveee espousing gloom and doom. That doesn’t sit very well with me.

Objectively, the trading action in FAZ, SRS, DUG, ERY and SMN is good. However, before I start slapping people in the face with hot mops, I want to see a little more conviction, from the bears, on this alleged downward move.

Once upon the time, HORATIO CLAWHAMMER blogged here, filling in for “The Fly” or Senor Tropicana, whenever they were out throwing m-80’s at piker brokers on Wall Street. HORATIO was into betting against America and all industry. As a point in fact, after having in depth discussions with MR. CLAWHAMMER, I can tell you, sincerely, he felt the fair value for stocks was “without a doubt, $00.00.”

As it happens, HORATIO was allegedly killed (the body was never recovered), via anvil gone mad, during the GREAT BULL MARKET OF 2009. However, people close to HORATIO tell me “that motherfucker is in fact ALIVE.”

Aside from HORATIO, I’ve been thinking about the market and I might just bet against myself, via tester short sales. After all, I have little to lose throwing on some hedges, since I am already heavily long. Long time readers of my Godly blog know and understand that I am never the quickest out of the gates. However, once I home in on my enemy (enemy being you), I “Tasmanian devil” myself into the winners circle, because I like to win meaningless trophies decorated with fancy fucking ribbons and shit.

In short, maybe I shouldn’t beat the horse so much. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for HORATIO CLAWHAMMER to come out of hiding and throw a few malatov cocktails into the Larry Kudlow nightly circle jerk fest.

Food for thought and I am hungry.

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Now you fuckers know why I tease the bears, when the market goes higher. At the first sign of weakness, these apocalypse wishcasters populate the comments section like homeless people on a free crack line.

Where is my line in the sand?

Well, I have a lot of room to be wrong, unlike my idiot ursine followers. I will accept another 5% on the downside, before throwing on a few hedges. It is not important to be right every single day. After all, micro managing a thesis is pointless.

I am amazed by the bullish action in SAY. I thought that company was going “Enron” on shareholders. Perhaps India perceives outright fraud in a different way than us backward western types.

Amidst the Devil Dog action, GS, AAPL, RIMM and GOOG were strong. It is my belief, the market will not break lower, unless the leaders have been routed. Additionally, oil is still strong, while the dollar is weakening again—also bullish for stocks.

Do not expect the bottom to fall out of the market, just because your idiot charts say so. They’ve been proven wrong many, many times, while I systematically bowl on you fuckers.

Top picks: OVTI, GLW

NOTE: I sold out of my DELL position today, as mentioned on The PPT.

I’d be remiss if I did not call you out for being a soulless ghoul of a trader, always shifty with the eyes and quick with the tongue. Is it so bad to endure a few down days, in order to stick to a thesis?

Watching traders, particularly on the internets, reminds me how fucked up American culture is today. You want to eat your cake and you want it now. If, for some odd reason, your serving of cake is delayed, tantrums ensue. While it’s true, some people are motivated by fear, which makes them pursue pussified positions, both in life and trading. It is a fact, most people are just plain greedy, to a degree that it clouds their judgment.

Maybe I am wrong about my short term bullish thesis. Perhaps the market internals will decay, effectively fucking my open positions with clown-like ferocity. But at least I stand for something, unlike most of you.

Today’s dip is a bit disconcerting, especially following yesterday’s 4% thumping. Nonetheless, I have put together a buy list and will begin nibbling shortly.

For starters, I like ERX in the low $30’s, OVTI in the low $10’s, GLW in the low $15’s and CIEN in the high $9’s.

Thank you for “talking to the pipe,” while I was away. It appears the market is ignoring the crude/dollar relationship and selling off for the fuck of it.

Naturally, this is some sort of Twilight Zone trading, where the slave attempts to whip the master. Woe on the investor who trades against logic and reason.

I can tell, just by reading your comments, the majority of you are not descendants of ancient Greek or Roman civilizations. Most of you are crude in behavior and slavish with money. If I was forced to guess, I’d venture off and say most of you descend from nomadic middle Asian tribes, where mutton was served at room temperature and sheep’s milk was an acceptable form of currency.

Back to trading this stupid market:

It is not ready for my coin just yet. There are some excesses that need to be flushed out and pikers to be punted. Regardless, the market will rebound today, due to the subservient ways of money managers and their crude oil Gods. As for me, I might nibble at a little OVTI or GLW. But, for the most part, I am not ready to place any new bets, unless of course the market spikes into the bell.

More on this later.

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Be careful with your stupid stop losses. If the volatility ratchets up again, you will get “fished” out of your favorite positions, only to see them go higher again.

I contend: the market is not ready to swan dive, just yet.

Into the bell, I filled standing orders in GLW and slapped one of my colleagues— in the face— with a wet piece of turkey.

Do not fret down days, asshole. Instead, use them to line the trunks of your cars, which will be used to house dead bears in the not too distant future.

In short, “The Fly” lost nearly 4% today, partly buttressed by a surging UNG position. Howsoever, he intends to make up for all lost coin quickly, while thoroughly punishing those who continue to defy him.