iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,326 Blog Posts

“The Fly” is Raising Interest Rates

Due to an egregious spike in internet traffic, on iBC, “The Fly” is raising interest rates, in order to slow down traffic. For the first time ever, I am losing money on this fucking site, due to even more egregious bandwidth expenses.

What the fuck?

Essentially, I am looking to decrease the internet traffic on this site, via ruining your (internet leech) stay or “experience” here. As you know, “The Fly” has many methods to accomplish this arduous task.

With regards to the market, [[MSFT]] told you all you needed to know. We’re in a bear market, despite what those busy BEAR STERNS [sic] bidding bankers in Europe and Asia espouse, through their obvious desire to offer a high premium for distressed asshats.

My take on the market is reliant upon time, not price. Meaning: we cannot be out of the boiling soup, yet. It’s too early and the decline is too tepid.

With regards to interest rates, it doesn’t matter, in the near term. After all, what’s the point of having 3% interest rates if credit is still tight? If Joey Bag-o-Donuts can’t get a line of credit, who gives a fuck?

By the way, quick alert, Dennis Kneale is an asshat.

Finally, if a shot gun were put to my head, in order to extract one stock pick, I’d say: “shoot me Sir, if you must, but before you do, go long [[SMN]].

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QUICK EMERGENCY ALERT: The Recession is Back

Quick, be sure to sell equities. Soup lines are forming. Unemployment is on the rise, again.

Even Cramer is switching his frothy mouthed optimism with a “take profits” post.

The pain.

Developing….

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Fly Buys: SMN, REW

I bought 1,000 [[SMN]] @ $45.50 and 5,000 [[REW]] @ $67.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 SMN between $45.45-45.84.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks, your mustache will get punched off. And, you may lose money.

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Fuck the Banks!

I just escaped from my local mental institution. As you know, they were holding me against my will, forcing me to write bullish commentary. Upon completion of my previous post, I ate a can of spinach, then proceeded to punch all of their mustaches off.

With respects to this market, Cramer has tofu for a brain, if he thinks there is a bidding war for [[BSC]].

Please!

Everyone in the business knows BEAR STERNS [sic] is doomed, due to their business being eliminated from existence.

Look you, I don’t have time to explain every single detail. Just know, the banks are a triple sell. Sell, sell, sell—sell, sell, sell.

For now, I will continue to do nothing, with the exception of throwing idle marble paperweights at my trader/servant.

I’ve had a banner start to the new year. I do not intend to fuck it up with bad trades and unnecessary risk. Instead, I’ll wait until next weeks Fed meeting to make up my fucking mind, with regards to my reentry of choice inverse etf’s.

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The Bear Market Has Been Postponed

In the meantime, let’s all have a ball killing a few million bears, while smoking crack pipes outside CNBC’s global headquarters.

It must have been a tough night for the European and Asian bankers, who are allegedly in the midst of a heated and contentious bidding war, for the corn can fuckers over at BEAR STERNS [sic].

Everyone wants a piece of the BEAR now, as the balls from the bull slap the bears—on its way higher.

What credit crisis?

That was so early January 2008. Ever since our politicians “saved us” with the stimulus package, coupled with Bernanake’s rogue trader induced 75bps EMERGENCY cut, the markets have nothing to fear, with the exception of homo-hammers on a Friday afternoon.

Fuck it, with my money, I’ll just wait a couple hundred more DOW points, then dive in head first. Whether there will be water in the proverbial pool I’m diving into is irrelevant. What’s important to note is that [[BSC]] is “TOO GOOD” to stay independent.

You heard it here second.

As for the markets:

[[MSFT]] had great numbers. [[BRCM]], and other fuckers, beat lowered expectations. What we’re witnessing now is a caffeinated short squeeze. Quite honestly, you don’t have to think, in order to bank a little coin in this market.

Look, if some asshole wants to get in your way, when trying to go long 10,000 shares of [[FSLR]], you tell him to go “fuck a goat” or you will “punch his eyebrows clean off.”

It’s that simple.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a bull market.

NOTE: At the time of this post, “The Fly” was under the care of the friendly people at his local mental institution.

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Wink, Wink, Nod, Nod

According to a coked out man on CNBC, [[BSC]] is gonna get ripped the fuck out, at a high premium. He believes there is a fucking bidding war at hand, despite the fact that Bear is a piece of shit firm.

More asshattery later…

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Behold: GREATNESS

You didn’t think I sold everything, did you?

Just in case my bearish scenario didn’t pan out, I kept many longs. As a matter of fact, because I sold all of my inverse etf’s yesterday, with the exception of [[SKF]], I have a lot of exposure to the upside.

As of right now, my largest long positions include (in size order): [[RIMM]], [[CLX]], [[AAPL]], [[GME]], [[GD]], [[HANS]], [[VLO]], [[GILD]] and [[FMCN]]—just to name a few.

For now, I will milk these upside bets and sell them into resistance. My guess, the market can run another 300-400 points, before dropping.

I know, “The Fly” gaming this tape like a “space alien magician” annoys you (internet leech).

Just be at peace knowing, genetically superior men blog on the internet all day, while banking profuse amounts of coin in the market.

At the very top of that list of great men, as you know, sits “The Fly,” in his diamond encrusted throne.

That is all.

NOTE: I’m still short [[DECK]] and [[LEH]]

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Waiting For My Stimulus Check

With my rebate check, I will go out and spend it on hoes and clothes.

After all, the stewards of our economy (politicians) want us to “go out and spend it as soon as possible,” due to severe economic distress. Fuck yeah, if I was some poor dude, living off of Rice Krispies, upon receiving my rebate check I’d go out and spend it on a new pair of sneakers or gold chain, instead of paying bills and shit.

That’s the American way, after all.

Thus far, today is a decent follow through day for the bulls. If your bias is to the downside, I suggest waiting for higher prices. The market has a feel and look of wanting to go higher.

With regards to Societe Generale, I love how some low-end trader had access to so much capital, enabling that stupid French bank to lose 7 billion plus.

Ducati makes a good point on the matter.

If the futures knifed lower due to SocGen unwinding contracts, causing world markets to plummet, our Federal Reserve did an emergency rate cut (only) to stop the correction of equity prices. Essentially, that low-end trader, who fucked up unroyally, is responsible for Bernanke cutting rates.

Truly a fucktarded sidenote in his prestigious career.

NOTE: Two things: I suspect there are many more losses to be revealed at SocGen. And, the proposed bailout of [[MBI]] and [[ABK]] is a loser.

NOTE II: If the rogue trader theory is true, the Fed will not cut rates next week. No?

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