iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,374 Blog Posts

Coming Soon to iBankCoin

First name Henry, last name Fool. His blog, which was carved out with the shards from his bones, is set to launch on 10/1.

Additionally, Mr. Woodshedder’s system trading splendor is almost ready for public consumption. This is the type of product that can be sold to wirehouses and hedge funds for millions, yet you ingrates will get it here, for fractions of what you should be paying.

Finally, “The Fly” is looking to hire (that’s right, I fucking pay my bloggers, unlike others) a high quality blogger—a person who knows stocks and can write in english, coherently.

All developing, as always.

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IPO’s, Deals, Toxic Assets and How it Pertains to You

Recently, the market has been flooded with successful ipo’s, mergers and junk bond sales. Take a look at this junk bond etf, [[JNK]] , on fucking fire. Year to date, the market has absorbed 100’s of billions of new low quality paper, effectively bailing out everyone. If you take a step back and think about what has transpired, over the past 6 months, it’s truly amazing.

The architects of this economy, The Fed, won. They defeated all of the cancerous doomsday circle jerkers and gave this stupid country a second chance to get it right. Naturally, we will fuck it up, just like the tv, automobile and refrigerator; but at least we have some time to get high and fat, before we are sent to Chinese prison factories.

With rates at zero, investors are buying up toxic assets. That’s right. There is demand everywhere. Do not be surprised, sometime soon, to hear of “mark-ups” reported by our dumbest banks.

With regards to m&a:

Inside of two weeks, two IT companies were bought out, first Perot Systems Corporation [[PER]] , now Affiliated Computer Services, Inc. [[ACS]] . If I had to take a wild stab, I’d say Computer Sciences Corporation [[CSC]] , Syntel, Inc. [[SYNT]] , Acxiom Corporation [[ACXM]] could be on the block. For a dice roll, take a looksy at Unisys Corporation [[UIS]] .

As an aside, with Omniture, Inc. [[OMTR]] getting bought out, ValueClick, Inc. [[VCLK]] , Marchex, Inc. [[MCHX]] , IAC/InterActiveCorp [[IACI]] or [[MWW]] are “potential” buyouts. Like I said earlier, the “net” is back, with great veracity.

Bottom line: Wall Street is back and there is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about, as long as money is cheap and cocaine is available. As the market rises, companies will get aggressive and buy each other out, like cannibals without food. All in all, barring a normal correction in the indices, I can’t think of a reason to get short for the remainder of 2009.

Buy the junk; position for more deals. Ahhh, it’s like 2006 all over again.

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Classic Rape

If I was a chart-chomper, which I am most certainly not, I’d be buying this market—hand over fist. However, thanks to the good grace of the Gods, I am not (sorry for the redundancy of that statement). Nevertheless, I am a buyer of IAC/InterActiveCorp [[IACI]] at these levels, for it is “DILLER TIME” (no homo), with regards to the internet. Ad rates are back on the mend; Omniture, Inc. [[OMTR]] got bought out— and for the love of black flags: “The Fly” is all about the “net.”

Being the proud inventor of the best financial website known to mankind, I have my pulse on the “net” like none of you imbeciles can fathom. To explain it to you, in layman’s terms, is equal to teaching a monkey how to drive a tractor trailer.

Just so you know, aside from “DILLER TIME,” I am a buyer of [[MWW]] , with great hopes that the jobs market will recover, effectively enriching the filthy bastards from Monster.

I am buying stocks, but doing so in timid fashion. I am merely nibbling on such said names, as opposed to buying with conviction. As you readily know, KING COCK is waiting for a pullback. As a point in fact, he demands one.

At any rate, today’s tape is classic, with regards to raping the bears of their millstone and coin. All arrows are pointing up, young man. It’s time for you to quit being a fucking loser and take what’s rightfully yours (incoherent rant, so sorry (not really) about that)!!!

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Fly Buy: GLW

I bought 10,000 Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] @ $14.99.

Disclaimer: If you buy GLW because of this post, your local garbage police will ticket you for leaving the trash out too early, with great vigor. And, you may lose money.

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KUNG-POW!

You must admit, The PPT nailed this little bottom, yet again. Thus far, every single reading in the 2.20’s has produced a tradeable bottom. Hate all you want you fucking drug addicts; “The Fly” has produced an analytic tool of mathematical precision.

Nonetheless, the only trade I have to show for it is a small ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] position, purchased on Friday afternoon. Quite frankly, King Cock is too busy dealing with the minute details of running a multi-million dollar business, than snatching a few lame trades from Mother Market.

In hilarious fashion, the bears are being karate chopped to the larynx this morning, as more buyers than sellers turn this market into an execution ceremony for the Tim Knight crowd. I have regrets; don’t misinterpret my enthusiasm for fulfillment. I mean, having a cash position north of 40%, while the market is spring boarding, is hardly fun. However, providing this rally sticks, I have no problem getting back in—regardless of cost.

See folks, this is a KUNG-POW market to the face. You cannot reason with it or try to negotiate a better price. No fucking way.

Imagine you need to buy a certain medicine and the only place you can purchase such an elixir is through a Chinese street vendor. You approach this vendor and ask him to lower his price, for you are “paying cash.” He retorts with a KUNG-POW slap to your face—and he raises his price by 5%. Shortly thereafter, you buy the elixir, at a 5% premium, because you need the fucking medicine.

Right now, retarded fund managers, worldwide, are being KUNG-POW’d, while chasing this market higher—because they have to.

Top Picks: Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] , DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] , Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]]

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Less Than Stupid Ways to Hedge

If you’ve been following me, over the past 6 months, you made an incredible amount of coin. Unlike most 3rd tier bloggers out there, “The Fly” is not beholden to any mantra or ideologies that may interfere in his coin making process. See folks, the stock market is a place where stupid people get together and make a bunch of errors and/or try to predict the future. Most of the time, the market is correct, only because civilization is constantly advancing. The market embodies all that we are, from faulty airplane rudders to bullshit cures for obesity.

When participating in the stock market, always remember, the friendly folks at the Federal Reserve have a vested interest in jolting it (the market) higher. So, you and your loser friends, declaring [[FAZ]] a buy on the first sign of weakness, are just wasting time and money.

During the credit crisis, the Fed lost control of the situation, as panic struck America, like the dumb stick hit Brooklyn 100 years ago. The crisis was exacerbated by the media drumming up news stories, which in turn coerced Americans to pull their money out of banks and stock up on rice and beans— Glenn Beck style. Don’t get me wrong, the losses were real and the banks were deserving of “death by homo hammer.”

But it didn’t happen and here we are, in the midst of the biggest melt up in stock market history. Ho-hum.

With gains north of 75%, I am not motivated to time any potential tops or catch some downside trades. For me, I find peace in having a big cash position and waiting for better entry prices on the long side.

If the market is going to correct, instead of hedging via [[FAZ]] , [[SRS]] , [[DUG]] or [[REW]] , why not buy dollars, via [[UUP]] or treasuries, via [[TLT]] ?

Look at the charts, bozo. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand, when the market goes lower, dollars rise in value— as do treasuries. Granted, you may not make a gazillion dollars with this strategy. However, in the event you are woefully wrong and the market springboards into 2010, you won’t file for bankruptcy protection either, due to an erroneous, coke induced, trading strategy.

There are other softer ways to play the downside, which I will discuss later on next week.

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Close, But No Pipe

The Overall PPT is officially in the 2.20’s—a reading where previous bottoms were formed. Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] got its lunch eaten, by “cock-burglaring” Apple lovers. And, to make matters worse, people are scared and shit, due to “October jitters.” All of these things, AND MORE, will lead to a sweet buying opportunity. For the day, I nibbled on a little ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] .

FYI, for you work gamers: It’s not a buy, unless you drop 250k on the name. Anything less, dear friend, is merely a “nibble.”

At any rate, most of you snail eating clowns have no fucking idea where the market is going, which in turn, makes my job that much easier, since I know exactly where it’s going and when (think time machine).

For the day, I believe my holdings were up a smidge; but who looks anymore?

See you fuckers on Monday.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWdIhM9ThPE&feature=player_profilepage 616 500]

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I’m At Leisure

Do not bother “The Fly” with your petty quibbles, for he is enjoying the fruits of his labour [sic], by way of buying all sorts of meaningless shit—like new sunglasses, jeans, and you guessed it, CASHMERE sweaters. Just so you know, as predicted, I am missing out on the decline, and intend on “missing out” on all subsequent drops from here on forth.

It’s difficult to explain what I am going through, with regards to the market and how I am able to game it so easily. The best analogy I can offer is imagine “The Fly” is Babe Ruth, in his prime, batting against the current day Ny Mets. That’s all.

As for the market:

Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] is getting its cock eaten by the cock-burglars at Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] . I don’t care what the homos from RIMM say: Apple is eating their balls.

With that in mind, following another 1.5% dip in the market, I will begin buying ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] , Ceragon Networks Ltd. [[CRNT]] and TEKELEC [[TKLC]] —all three are iphone related plays. You must be asking yourself “hey, dick-burglar, why not buy [[AAPL]]?” Well, if you must know, I like to do things differently. Since young, I’ve always done things in unorthodox ways, investing is no different. My life, mind you, is defined by kicking my neighbor, competitor or enemy into empty manholes.

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