iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,691 Blog Posts

Re-Breaking News: CNBC to the Rescue

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChokGbJdeSM 450 300]

Take that bulls bears!

For fear of closing in the red, I couldn’t wait, until 3:45, to re-release this news.

You’re welcome.

UPDATE: The investment banks only took in 86 billion in free money from the Fed. Hell, that’s fucking great news. That means they only have 86 billion in write downs left, no? Even more good news.

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A CNBC Led Rally

We can do it, folks.

Come one gang, let’s run the market higher, so that we may preserve CNBC’s ratings.

Do it for CNBC!

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Today, for Fun, I am a Bull

Did you see those GDP numbers? Fucking smoking, man.

And, the market is so oversold, you just have to get long the banks. I mean, how low will [[LEH]] go, zero?

I don’t think so. Big investment banks NEVER go to zero. They go to $10.

Aside from the banks, solar looks sweet here. Look at [[SOLF]], [[FSLR]] and [[CSIQ]]. How could anyone deny the power of the solar panel (pun intended)? In due time, all of us will drive solar powered cars, circa 1980’s news broadcasts.

Anyway, should this market be down by 3:45 today, I have a special surprise to “jack it” higher.

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No Stock Advice For You

Today, I refuse to share financial advice with strange lurkers from the internets. Quite honestly, “The Fly” is not interested in today’s tape. Sure, the market will go up and down, bankrupting fucktarded goat fuckers along the way. But that’s the natural order of things, no?

By helping you, I am disturbing nature. As you well know, “The Fly” is a HUGE fan of nature, with all of its trees and shit. The last thing I want on my conscience is to melt down some fucking iceberg, because my pristine financial advice helped some moron from the internets build an oil refinery in the North Pole. That is unacceptable.

So, with that being said, I have numerous cups of “low-end” Dunkin’ Donuts coffee to consume, while deciding my next attack.

Developing…

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Classic CNBC

Stupid fucking bitches.

NOTE: No offense to bitches.

Hat tip: Some moron in the comments section.

UPDATE: Don’t look now, the “bullet proof” Chinese stock market is out of control bleeding red, ahead of the Godly Olympics. Who would have thought?

Short the spirits out of [[LFC]]. Those assholes have ridiculous equity exposure.

Time Machine Flashback: Fuck the Banks.

UPDATE II: It has come to my attention that an “iBC resident,” Boca, has an interesting Ebay auction going. Inadvertently,  Danny bumped into her auction of Bear Stearns squeezable bears.

Go get one.

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Chalk One Up for the Bears

How can these morons draw a parallel between the collapse of Long Term Capital and Bear Stearns?

Hey assholes, when LTCM fell, the economy was on the precipice of furious economic expansion, ala dot com bubble. Things are quite different now.

Look you, I do not have time to intermingle with retards from the internets. “The Fly” is a very busy man, with loads of work and construction projects to oversee. As you know, when the weather gets warm, I employ many “illegal Mexicans” to build shit for me.

I’m looking for a sharp decline in many of the financials. And, I am confident we will see the “ag plays” become a “source of funds,” once again.

Off to dinner.

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BEHOLD

This should offset any negative effects my “FUCK YOU LONGS, YOU”RE DEAD” post may have on my short positions.

Fly wins, again.

UPDATE: Maria Bartiromo has just pissed me off, with her excessive “we’ve rallied significantly off the bottom” rants, I just made an EMERGENCY call to my VooDoo Physician.

He told me: “Soon enough, the markets mon will be swimming in blood, mon.”

Developing…

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