Fly Buy: ACI

I bought 7,500 ACI @ $22.

I couldn’t help myself.

If you really want to play the oil sector, go with OIH. Fucking around with individual names, like RIG or BP now is pure gambling. At least with OIH, you get a modicum of sector diversification.

Lucky for me, I have been out all day in meaningless meetings, chomping on bread and shit, looking at the birds. As far as I am concerned, the summer is here and I have little to no interest in the stock market, barring the eventuality of a HORRIFIC crash. Even so, I am much more interested in not living out my existence like some of you middle aged, office drones, whose big daily highlight is lunch. Maybe our European suckers have it right, with all of their leisure time, hanging around Ficus trees, smoking cigars. Granted, such a lifestyle is counterproductive and leads to all sorts of fucktarded lifestyle choices. However, the American lifestyle is pretty much as dumb as it gets; so I will take my chances—going with a “hybrid” version.

I always say: “never work hard, but smart.”

As for the markets:

Yen weakness is allowing stocks to rally. I do not trust it and spit in the faces of those who do. Yesterday you asshats were buying FAZ, today FAS. You don’t know what you are doing and should be executed for crimes against finance. With my money, I will let it marinate, for today only negates yesterday’s rape. I will be sure to do something tomorrow.

In the meantime, I am long vast amounts of VXX (16%), and 35% of my assets are invested in a long position, amongst stocks like PKX, GS, ATPG, SD and FTK.

Patience killed the cow and ate the steak. That is, without a doubt, my middle name.

You chart chomping jackasses don’t stand a chance in this whipsaw market. You might as well give all of your money away to the homeless or kids with cancer now, before you lose that shit to some Goldman Sachs robot. It’s amazing to me that so many of you believe in technical analysis, as if it was some sort of religion. Do you know Santa Claus isn’t real? Are you aware to the fact that technical analysis was developed by people who had no market edge? It was developed by misfits, who were getting mugged by the markets daily, that tried to come up with some magic fairy dust, via charting stocks and indices by hand— every night for review.

The sad thing is, the very people who invented these indicators discarded them for the shit-heap, long ago. Yet, here you are EMBARRASSING yourselves daily, getting flattened out by rampaging gorillas.

On the other hand, I do believe in quantitative analysis, which contrary to what you may believe, is ENTIRELY different than drawing lines on charts or fucking around with idiot candlesticks—all subject to human error by faulty interpretation.

What needs to happen now is a full-fledged rout of the markets, in order to zero out some of the weaker players. All of you piker hedge fund managers, who made a nice bag of brick last year, are two trades away from being on the receiving end of mass redemptions. I will be more than happy to pick up your loss, AND MORE.

See folks, you can’t believe the charts. And, you can’t believe the fundamentals. The nice little earnings estimates that you have mapped out for BAC are worth less than an empty bottle of St. Ides.

What matters?

I will tell you. Asset allocation models, risk analysis, proper research and game plan, catalyst driven events, on the ground research and the God given gift to make accurate financial decisions. People ask me: “Fly, how are you able to make so many accurate calls, all the time, over such a long period of time?” My answer, as always: “do you ask a bird why it is able to fly, or why hungry mountain lions, trapped inside gay bars, tend to lack proper bar etiquette?”

No, of course you don’t. There are no short cuts, ladies. This game was designed for the very best to succeed, not some dork trading 5 figs out of Mom’s basement. Now go back to watching the military channel and make believe you are some valiant war hero, instead of the pencil pushing dipshit that you are in real life.

and again, and again, and again. And again…

Had it not been for my foray into ATPG, I played this decline rather flawlessly. With more than 50% cash, 50,000 shares long FAZ and more than 15% of assets long VXX, “The Fly” outstrips you. It is not important for you to understand his methods, for it is on another level, a whole new paradigm of winship. Let it be known to all of the children of the world, the shares of MET shall suffer greatly, thanks in large part of euro-trash exposure and rising CDS spreads.

Poetically, I am in position to purchase your margin liquidations shortly. I know many oil men are hurting now, under mountainous losses, thanks to the retarded bitches at BP. Let it be known, “The Fly” spits on such men, from short and long distances.

Enjoy the rest of your pathetic evenings and remember the wholesale, clear as day truth: The PPT warned you to sell, yet you did nothing.

While looking at the absolute tragic events transpiring in the share prices of oil/gas stocks, a few things come to mind.

1. Some commodity focused hedge funds are being liquidated, amidst mammoth losses, causing share prices to exaggerate to the downside.

2. The share prices of oil/gas plays are telling us the economy sucks dick.

3. Oil is the new cancer.

Let’s not sugar coat this shit, shall we. I’ve been “de-cocked” in just about every single oil/gas stock this year, stemming from FTK to SD to GMXR and now ATPG. I am telling you now, I will not touch another single oil and gas stock for the rest of my life. That’s it. I am fucking done.

I’d rather play games with metal stocks, than fuck around with this shit. The industry is hated so much, you’d think the devil himself was running these companies. I am sure there is going to be terrific buying opportunities soon. After all, how low can WFT, BP, CAM, HAL, ATPG and RIG go?

ANSWER: All the way to fucking ZERO, I suppose.

With my money, I will be glad to recoup some of my HORRENDOUS losses from the stocks that I already own, sell them, then move on.

As an aside, the market is up, yet so is my FAZtard and VXX.

What does that tell you, fuckface?

NOTE: CDS spreads have been widening the fuck out on a multitude of financials, MET being one of them. Hence I am short the name.

I sold short 5,000 MET @ $40.45 and nibbled some more on VXX, under $29.

Disclaimer: If you do the stuff I just did above, your only son will grow up to wear bow ties and walk around town in fancy hats. And, you may lose money.

In an amazing twist of events, the markets have reversed from early losses and headed higher, despite the wall of worry. I suppose our markets are unique in that respect. You know, always bucking the trend, throwing out false signals and effectively RAPING all participants. Even still, I remain steadfast in my 50%+ cash position, 15% VXX position and floating fucktarded FAZmobile participation.

To couch my FAZ, so you know, my largest long position is GS. For some reason (maybe it’s the fucking valuation, duh), GS is behaving rather nicely. With 10,000 shares long and a cost basis in the low $151’s, I stand to make a good deal of money, once they settle with the Government vultures.

It’s amazing to me to bear witness to the sheer carnage taking place in BP and RIG. Even more, shares of ATPG are tanking so hard, one would think they were the masterminds behind the fucking leak. Perhaps I just don’t get it and will fall victim to an egregious oil slap to the face. But the numbers don’t add up, dropping ATPG to these levels. Then again, Obama might ban oil and shit, effectively putting us back on the horse and wagon standard.

Shares of AAPL are really leading the charge here and the bears are definitely in a state of shock right now. We were supposed to drop 2% today. Instead, we are melting higher, like a buttery cheese sandwich on a slab of hot tar.

I don’t give a shit if the market jerks off all the way to Dow 30,000, amidst an inflation nirvana. That shit is fucking nonsensical bullshit. Stocks don’t go up due to hyper inflation, especially when dealing with DEFLATION on a biblical scale.

You’re  fucking retarded and a wholesale idiot. The world is falling apart and Turkey is gonna drop a nuke on Israel, right after Israel blows up their entire airforce.

Just sell and eat a sandwich.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8A3bfmhivTI 616 500]

He puts the bear in shitter.

Where is the market going? Does anyone know? One thing is for sure: volatility is back .

How lucky are you, exactly?

With Monday off, but everyone else trading, U.S. markets will “enjoy” double upside or downside on Tuesday. It’s like the market will be converted into an ULTRA-MARKET, if only for one day. So, if Europe gets raped on Monday, prepare for a 3%+ down day on Tuesday.

As far as I am concerned, there is little reason to play casino, ahead of a long weekend, after making a “fuck load” of money in my positions. So, as you know, I sold out of many positions, threw on a few hedges, and will relax like a heroin addled pelican over the weekend, while chomping on BBQ chicken, ribs and steak.

In short, I am not sure, so I have put myself in a position to do no harm.

Have a great weekend and prepare for Mr. Devil Dog’s presentation (Fly cartoon) to iBC, sometime Sunday night, ahead of Asian trading.

^^^ROFL