Bears Clown Raped in Pleasant Afternoon Trading

If I haven’t hammered home the message yet, into your stupid/thick skulls, you are a lost cause and have no right reading this Godly site.

Year to date gains stretched above 7% for the first time in 2011 and my balls still swing low. Enjoy your weekend and quit drinking such low end wine.

NOTE: Bulls salsa danced all over bear faces today.

NOTE: I added to my NGD position.

Due to typical and classic Egyptian bullshit, the dollar is enjoying artificial strength, allowing precious metal stocks to sell off. Understand this is a one off event, not so much different than hurricanes or Warren Buffet interviews. I’d use the weakness in gold/silver names as an opportunity to build up positions. After all, once a new dictator is ushered into Egypt, the Federal Reserve will continue the path of least resistance, via QUANTITATIVE EASING aka “revolution starters.”

I am up a little more than 1% today, thanks to strength in mu largest positions MOS/AGU and ATPG. Should BORN get going then I can really start making some money here.

In summary, stocks are going higher and the basic thesis hasn’t changed: weaker dollar=higher commodity related stocks.

Top picks: EXK, NGD, MOS, AGU

I just finished eating a splendid breakfast and find myself, surprisingly, in a good mood, bio-polar style. If you haven’t figured it out by now, “The Fly” is obsessed with making large quantities of money and harbors extreme disdain for those who are not successful.

When it comes to money, there are two types of people who say “money isn’t everything.” The first type is the destitute poor guy with little prospects, outside of hitting the lottery, of making it big. The second type is the guy who is already rich. In case you didn’t know, money is the root behind all evil and happiness.

Early going, I am feeling rather optimistic about today’s trade. Ahead of merger Monday and more Egyptian bullshit, I sense money managers will pile into gold/silver/oil stocks. I sense these things because they are my friends and they have money to burn.

Top picks: EXK, NGD
Cheers!

As the media stoke the flames of revolution in the land of mummies and slaves, the Obama administration purposely disseminates false information with regards to the resignation of Mubarak. It’s fascinating to watch a country of 85 million people crumble because 1% of the population take to the streets. Considering the fact that Egyptian unemployment is near 40%, it’s no surprise to see those fucking tea drinkers camping out all night, as they have nothing better to do. What’s doubly interesting is the ideologues opining on this movement as if it was the American revolution redux. When I said “freedom must be forged with the blood of honorable citizens,” I meant it.

The Egyptian movement is the modern version of a coup, a lazy man’s approach to self governing. Who do you think will take over the Egyptian government and why are you wearing rose colored glasses? Call me callous: I don’t give a shit. The middle east, save Israel, isn’t ready for democracy. Their brains are stuck in the dark ages, around the year 1500, or some shit. The end result will lead to higher gold/oil prices.

Looking over my index’s in The PPT (GARP, Social Networking, Commodity, Raw Commodity, 4g, Risk Appetite and Foreign), they’re all trading at new highs, save Foreign and Risk Appetite. With my year to date gains a tad under 6%, there is NO REASON AT ALL to believe the market is top heavy here. It’s still going up, despite bad earnings misses and fierce corrections in high beta names. If you notice, the money shufflers don’t give a shit about “leadership,” because the entire nation of the United States is leadership. There is a reason why U.S. markets are outperforming: we got POMO juice motherfucker.

Ben Bernanke has a strong pimp hand and the swagger of 10,000 Mubaraks. Stocks like CSCO, AKAM, CRM or FFIV can correct and other stocks will take their place as leadership. This market doesn’t need leaders, just POMO.

Is this the best you burlap wearing, suitcase holding, bearshitters can do? Shit, I am making money today, in spite of the pinless hand grenade action in CSCO and AKAM.

As an aside, I’ve been preoccupied with other things. I’ve been collecting a lot of wine these days and I’ve been playing a shitload of chess. A regular chessnwine I am. Poke fun all you want; but I am certain that I can beat 99.9% of you in a game of chess, as I have an IBM supercomputer brain. Generally speaking, I’ve been going out a lot, venturing off to broadway plays and dining at the finest restaurants NYC has to offer.

Gentlemen and fucktards of the internet, I have a problem. I have money to burn and nothing to spend it on. In this new economy, work is not required. You can take naps, play video games and make a jackass out of yourself, drunk in public, as long as you own equities. The stock market has replaced the jobs market, in a sense. For the love of surprise cataclysms, the market is fixed to go higher, small pleb. Why do you fight it?

Ugly people, like Jim Chanos (short F from $1, idiot style), are betting against stocks because chicks don’t like them. No one likes an ugly person. Let’s be real. Jim probably talks to himself, while smoking Pall Mall cigarettes, inside of his car, with the windows up. You can’t take Jim serious, ever, for he is too ugly.

In other news, it appears Mubarak is preparing to unveil more “Egyptian bullshit,” by “stepping down.” Ha! He’s putting his man in to replace him. Like I said before, there is no such thing as a “bloodless revolution.” If the Egyptians want freedom, they need to earn it, forged in blood. The seeds of liberty can only blossom with the blood of honorable citizens.

Into the bell, I like NGD, VCLK, MOS and AGU, for the motherfucking win.

UPDATE: I bought 2,000 MCHP, new position.

In light of the cowardice being displayed by both Mubarak and the shorts, I added to both MOS and VCLK.

Before I broach the subject of earnings lotto, does anyone have a succinct explanation as to why there is a massive spread between WTI and Brent sweet crude?

Early this morning, it appears Mother Market will punish guys like me for misbehaving, demonstrating excessive amounts of hubris without caution. If anyone deserves to lose money, it’s me. I will be the first to tell you: “I’ve had it good for too damn long and deserve a good correcting, a regular talking to.” Should I lose heinous amounts of coin, everyone wins. You win by default and I win by being placed back into a corner. Long term readers know that I am not happy unless my world is crumbling before my eyes. I enjoy adversity because there is something wrong with me.

WFMI had kickass earnings; but I can’t buy that decadent shit up here. CSCO and AKAM are being dismantled by fairies in pink velvet pants because they suck. If I am not mistaken, both AKAM and CSCO miss earnings with great regularity.

If you are investing aggressively, it makes no sense to compound risk by holding stocks into earnings. I realize the long term thesis and that entails riding out earnings announcements. However, considering the run we’ve been on, you stand to lose too much (MOTR boated) on a miss. At a minimum, buy puts to hedge or pare down positions prior to release date.

Will the market stay down all day?

Probably not. However, we are due for a few down days. It’s worth noting, new equity partner in iBC, ChessnWine, played this inflection point nicely, currently short a variety of high beta names.

Okay, it’s time for me to scurry along, prepare for the shit heading my way.

You Doug Kass types thought you were smart, fancy, and smart again today, no? Dressed in stupid turtle necks, collectively, you sold short today’s tape; because today was the day that it all ended—until it didn’t. You people are so fucking stupid. My dead dog can do a better job at managing accounts than you. Seriously and with no respect, you need to quit this job and find another. You’re fucking up my view.

Thanks to a miraculous late day surge in BORN, I ended the day flat. Year to date gains still stand at 5% and my balls swing lower than yours.

Do not misconstrue my kindness and democratic generosity for weakness. I will find out where you work arrange for rapid mustache removal. Remember, I’m originally from Brooklyn and half of my childhood friends have brass knuckles in their overcoat pockets. I will break your face.

Aside from that, after yesterday’s update, The PPT is now registering its highest overall fundamental score ever. Meaning: valuations and balance sheets have never been better. Essentially, stocks can trade a lot higher before they get expensive. I am going to stick to my bullish thesis until it murders me.

I added to both BORN and NGD.

It appears the moon, earth and all of the galaxies in the universe are working against the defined interests of a certain bearded clam— to bring the markets lower. Today’s tape has a certain nagging feel to it, not so much different than your wife pestering you to complete a chore while the game is on.

I am down slightly on the day and loathe the fact that I may close out the day a loser, despite my AGU sprinting higher. However, I’ve been a bit spoiled with regards to this market, so I really don’t mind donating some of my coin to those of you (bearshitters) that need it most.

Do not spazz out, fucktards of the internet. Every once in awhile the market trades down. Into the final hour of trade, I intend to add to a few positions.