WINSHIP

No matter how hard you try, your wins can never be as sweet as mine. My wins are like the nectar from a an heirloom pear tree, while yours is from some African stone cactus. As I write this, I am up more than 2%. I’ve positioned myself aggressively, front running asshole fund managers who need to get long. I do not make this stuff up, as it is all real as heart attacks and synthetic butter.

My personal aggressive accounts are up so much, you cannot handle the news. If I told you, I’d shame you into a deep depression. I will spare you the indignities. Consider it a “Christmas Come Early” from yours truly.

I am long vast amounts of CLF, EXK, REXX, CIEN, CCJ and Q. In addition to that, I have other shit going on, all to do with aggressive coin banking operations, well seen inside of The PPT and 12631.

I am cutting my day short, as I have a mammoth LED-LCD television to buy.

UPDATE: Before I left, I snapped up some SHLD.

I bought 10,000 GMO.

Disclaimer: I’m full of all sorts of surprises today. Follow my lead and lose your head to a stray artillery shell.

I bought all of that shit. Do you know why?

Answer: Because I can.

Carry on, small pleb. Carry on.

My disdain for civilization was renewed this morning. It was not a big event. Actually, it was nothing at all. It was something ever so subtle that triggered a chemical reaction in my brain, causing me to hate all of you, as well as others, once again. Do not be offended by my hatred, for it is distributed in equal parts to all races and religions. In general, people are dumb animals, motivated by greed, gluttony and pride. For the most part, you are all primitive creatures, deviants of the first order.

I see precious metals are shooting higher this morning. based upon the future prospects of the dollar. I get the whole “fuck the dollar” policy. It makes our goods and real estate attractive to foreign buyers. If the dollar continues to drop, expect a sharp increase in coastal real estate values. It’s probably a good idea to buy real estate now, providing you can get good terms. You really can’t lever up anymore. If you want to buy, you will likely need to fork up 20% for a down payment.

Two deals worth mentioning this morning: RDWR and VRGY. Once again, if you are a corporation holding billions in cash, it makes no sense keeping money locked in treasuries. Look at SCMR. Those fuckers have been holding onto their cash since the dot com bubble. It’s a fascinating story, really—a relic of the dot com excess. They did a secondary when the stock was like $300 and never spent the money. Fast forward many years and the company is doing like 100mill per annum in revenue, with over $1billion in cash tucked away in the bank. For years, they simply collected interest on their treasury holdings. However, they just paid out a special divvy of $6.50. Why? Answer: treasuries are risky.

I’m not sure what the market will do today, following such a big run. The PPT is OVERBOUGHT again and we could pull back for a day or two. However, rest assured, mutual fund managers are clamoring to punch you in the face with Portuguese dinner plates. If you short this market, you are destined to taste porcelain.

Top picks: EXK, REXX

Many months ago, at the annual iBC dinner, Jakegint (CH) said to me “QE2 will prop the market higher.” Then he went on to ramble about how Abraham Lincoln was a “cool as shit” and how President Roosevelt was a “fucky commy bastard.” For over two years, Senator Gint has predicted the end of dollar dominance and has positioned himself to profit from this occurrence, with ridiculous precision, via a slew, mind you, of precious metal treasures.

Because of all of the debt, coupled with sluggish western economies, I assumed our leaders would not go “full Dykstra”, via egregious and brazen depreciation of the dollar and upward manipulation of the stock market. Pardon me for believing debts might cause governments to tighten their belts. Had I known Ben Bernanke was out of his fucking mind nuts, I would have tossed away my “deflation dreams” a long time ago, in favor of something, shall we say “inflationary?”

Everything aside, I think it’s pretty obvious to everyone here now that Senator Gint was and is right. The policy is to wreck the dollar, no matter the negative repercussions. Of course we do not need QE2; but we have it nonetheless. If QE2 doesn’t work, well, we will try QE3. And so and so forth.

In short, it takes a lot for me to change a general thesis, as I am “cement headed” too. However, it’s the right fucking call, you motherfuckers, so deal with it. We must protect against egregious depreciation, whether you like it or not.

Off to bang on some drums, whilst wearing my African jungle mask, and shit.

I’m done re-calibrating my positions, still at 10% cash. I’ve been buying EXK throughout the day and will continue to buy until it represents 10% of my holdings. I endeavor to make it my largest position (pun intended). At the present, for the last week, CLF has been my largest holding. Going into “merger Monday,” I have no desire to sell it, as it likely to be acquired, before I expire.

The truth of the matter is, “Le Fly”, as he is known in France, is having a good day. His positions are up and his business is, yet again,  at an all-time high. I do not ask for these gifts of lifestyle and grandeur. Instead, I carry the burden of being right, for all of you ham and eggers out there who can’t do it yourself. Put a wrench in my hand and I will destroy your house, car and kids. However, give me 20 mill to manage, and I will turn that shit into 100.

As an aside, I do not wish to be congratulated for my wins, by the likes of you. I did not accept your criticisms and “worldly advice” when times were good. Therefore, now that the sun shines on me with hot fire, and shit, I reject your salutations as nothing more than child play. May you be stricken in the face with Portuguese dinner plates this evening.

In closing, I am a very busy man today, and a busier Father. I must go now, much to your chagrin.

Top picks: REXX, BBRG, EXK, Q, DMND and KBH

I added to my REXX, BBRG and DMND positions. And, I bought 100,000 EXK-–new position.

Disclaimer: Better late than never, with regards to silver.

I sold out of my LIZ and PSUN positions for 5-10% gains.

Poor people did not find work last month,  as indicated by today’s jobs report. To combat that plethora of “bad news,” I offer the following dialogue to be copy and pasted onto your respective, and ever so gallant, twitter pages.

#POMO, #QE2, #MERGERMONDAY, #SIDELINECASH, #WINDOWDRESSING, #NOINFLATION, #GLOBALGROWTH, #COCAINE  and #BEARDEDCLAMS $$

Once you tweet that, you will feel better about yourself and your outlook on life in general. Should you “endure” 15-30 minutes of stock market losses today, FEAR NOT, for the Federal Reserve has your back. In the outside chance that the market really sours today, FEAR NOT, for MERGER MONDAY is literally right around the corner.

In all seriousness, this market is not going up on fundamentals. It’s all cupcakes and frosting on the ground— and we are like hungry dogs licking it all up.

I had the idea to come here this evening and behave like a gentleman. You know, top hat with cane, asking you politely to pass a jar of mustard, from the luxury of my 80’s style limousine. For many weeks and months, probably years, I’ve treated my underlings harshly. I used to slap my trader/servant in the face with hot, hot slices of pizza. For the love of broken robots, I used to make my cold callers stand for 10 hours straight, just for the hell of it, while quoting from the movie Wall Street “lunch is for wimps, pal.” However, with age, “The Fly” has moved onto bigger and better targets, which is a topic for another day.

So there I was, thinking about what I should write about, then I read this fucking article. Holy shit, like a tonne of bricks falling on my nose, it struck me: we (current civilization) really are jackasses. Then I surmised we never landed on the moon and that landing was all Hollywood, kid. Fuck , we can’t even blow up airplanes with shoe bombs; there’s no way we went past the Van Allen Belt.

Then I read this article, and it sealed my opinion of life for good. It’s all one big practical joke. Someone is merely fucking with us, just like I fucked with my cold callers years ago. Come on, what rational person cannot find irony and comedy in the following sequence of sentences?

Sarah Palin, the former Republican vice presidential candidate, likened Assange to an al-Qaida propagandist and accused him, without offering any proof, of having “blood on his hands.”

“Why was he not pursued with the same urgency we pursue al-Qaida and Taliban leaders?” she asked in a message posted on her Facebook page.

“I think Assange should be assassinated, actually,” Tom Flanagan, a former adviser to Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, told the CBC. “I think Obama should put out a contract or maybe use a drone or something.” Flanagan, a U.S.-born professor of political science at the University of Calgary, later apologized.

How do I even respond to that ^^^ shit?

Since life is all a joke, feel free to throw whipped cream pies in the faces of any law enforcement agent tomorrow. I will tell you what I will be doing: laughing all the way to the fucking bank, as I plunder the account balances of misguided shorts.

As you were good Sirs.